跟讀練習: Are you a giver or taker? - 通過影片學習英語口語

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Everyone doesn't need access to you.

Some people are draining and they don't even know it.

You're allowed to say no. You're allowed to not answer calls.

You're allowed to break plans and if you need to save yourself, do it.

I used to be someone who didn't handle conflict very well.

It doesn't mean that I fight back or say mean things to people,

but I think I believed that a peaceful relationship meant no conflict at all all.

Where both people are just constantly considerate of each other, always happy together.

So I used to end relationships pretty easily when they didn't feel right to me.

But over time, I started to think about this differently.

Certain conflicts with certain people actually change you.

They actually help you learn about yourself, your limits, your capacity, what you can and cannot handle

so now I don't really think that you need to cut off every relationship to protect yourself.

Welcome back to this episode of Dissert Hazel.

I genuinely want people to be happy.

I want you to be happy.

I don't want to hurt people and I wish I knew more ways to handle getting hurt too.

I've always hoped that we could simply like and understand each other better

but as I go through life that's one thing that I keep learning.

You can't make everyone happy.

And protecting yourself is actually really hard.

Not hurting others is difficult and dealing with pain in a healthy way is hard too.

Finding a balance between those two things is something everyone has to learn.

We often hear you need to protect yourself and we tend to take it quite extremely.

Like if someone makes you uncomfortable, you should cut them off.

Or if this relationship hurts you, you should end it immediately like I did before.

But real life is not that easy.

Of course, sometimes ending a relationship is necessary.

I'm actually someone who believes that.

But at the same time, some conflicts can help define the relationship and make the boundaries clearer.

To me, for now at this point, the key isn't cutting off anymore.

It's awareness.

Just noticing how people, like how someone is treating you.

That's the starting point.

And from there, you naturally start adjusting your position in that relationship, understanding who you are to the other person and what place you hold in their life.

When I look at relationships, I have one main principle, like rule I follow.

I think, I think I have a pretty high level of empathy.

Sometimes it's good to have it, sometimes it's not but so naturally i tend to treat others the way i want to be treated

well i'm not perfect at it of course i'm human too

but this is yeah what i'm trying to do

but this has become a kind of compass for me to understand people

and evaluate relationships how am i treating this person

and how are they treating me that simple observation tells you a lot more than you know.

There's a phrase that people use a lot.

I've heard it many times.

Giver and taker.

One person gives and the other takes.

It almost sounds like people are talking about someone's natural personality, like some people naturally feel more themselves giving, while others are more used to receiving and taking.

What do you think you are?

A giver or a taker?

Let me know in the comments below.

Anywho, I don't really define myself as giver or taker.

I don't think those are fixed rules in my case.

In some relationships, I might be the one giving more.

In others, I might be the one receiving more.

Even the people around me would probably describe me differently depending on the relationship.

It's less about personality.

It's more about context and timing for me and I don't think one is better than the other.

I think it's good that you know which one you are in the relationship

because not everyone moves with the same good intentions

and not every relationship is built on the same level of care and mutual respect.

So we do need to be a little careful sometimes sadly

and when I say careful I don't mean becoming suspicious of everyone.

You can't live like that.

It would be exhausting to spend your whole life holding up a flashlight, constantly trying to find the truth in people.

Enjoy your time with people you love.

I mean, relationships are about giving and receiving but not in a transactional way more like a natural cycle.

What you give to someone might come back in a different form

or maybe from a different person and what you receive might flow into someone else later on.

Maybe that's why I don't really put too much meaning into labels like giver

and taker but if you feel like you're being used

and that's not a healthy interaction and honestly when you constantly feel

that way your feelings are usually right wait a minute this is about taking

and receiving and in a relationship one person keeps taking things

and the other person needs to give and give give give

so that's so unfair yeah those kind of things exist i don't want to label myself as a giver

and taker because i i want to do both and

when i think about my people

and my friends i don't want to label them like a taker

and giver that's just so unfair and i want them to know

if they're being a taker and giver in their relationships because we don't all love or express things in the same way

Yes, so this awareness of protecting yourself needs to be quite objective.

Maybe this is a little off topic, but it's almost impossible for two people to fill a relationship in exactly the same way.

If that ever happens, you're very lucky.

There are so many different kinds of relationships.

Some people trust each other so deeply even though they don't talk every day.

Some people talk every single day but they still don't feel truly connected.

And sometimes even if you shared a lot of memories with someone, those memories can feel less meaningful compared to the memories you shared with someone else.

It might sound a bit sad but it's not something that you can really control and it's not just you.

The other person is probably experiencing the same thing in their own way.

So if you ever feel like you're always the giver or

that someone is taking you for or

that they are just staying in a relationship without really giving

back to you then it's important to look at the relationship very objectively Ahem,

hey, I don't think that I explained my thoughts very clearly earlier.

What I was trying to say is that understanding each person's role in a relationship might sound a bit cold at first, but I actually think it's really important.

It can be a kind of boundary that protects you, but at the same time,

it also becomes a foundation that lets you love someone more freely and more comfortably.

And just because I give a lot to someone doesn't mean

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that they have an obligation to give me the same amount back to me.

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What I give doesn't just disappear, it gets filled in different ways, in different forms.

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And when you really understand that, you don't really feel empty or drained just because you gave yourself to someone.

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And I think at the core of all of this is just asking yourself, am I actually happy in this relationship?

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And once I started looking at these things that way,

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whenever conflict comes up, I naturally start to step back and look at the relationship itself.

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Why?

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Because sometimes you really feel okay to be just a giver for certain people.

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Like your family feels different some friends feel different.

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It's not about erasing yourself for someone else.

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It's about building a relationship where you fully exist inside it.

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So I'm just curious, what do you look for in a healthy relationship?

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Are you a giver or a taker?

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I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

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And I think hearing different perspectives helps us understand each other a little better too.

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Anywho, so thank you for today and have a good day.

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Bye-bye.

117

you

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為什麼要通過這個影片練習口語？

通過觀看這個影片，您可以學習如何在複雜的人際關係中有效交流。影片探討了人際關係中的重要話題，包括自我保護、衝突的處理以及如何理解他人。使用英語進行這樣深入的討論不僅可以提升您的語言能力，也能增加您對文化溝通的理解。在練習口語時，不妨嘗試模仿影片中的講話方式，通過英語影子跟讀（shadow speak）的形式練習，您將能夠更好地掌握語調與語速，從而提高您的口語流利度。

句法與表達的語境分析

“You're allowed to...” - 這是一種表達允許和權利的句型，非常適合用在說明您的想法和感受時。
“I used to...” - 此結構用於說明過去的習慣或狀態，幫助您描述個人成長或變化。
“Certain conflicts with certain people actually change you.” - 通過這種句型，您可以討論人際關係及其對個人發展的影響。
“I think I have a pretty high level of empathy.” - 藉助這個表達，您可以分享自己的感受和對他人的理解。

練習這些句型不僅增強了您的語法知識，也提升了您在實際交流中的靈活性，尤其是在涉及人際關係的場合。

常見的發音難點

在這個影片中，某些詞語的發音可能會對學習者造成挑戰，例如“empathy”和“conflict”。確保您清晰地發出每個音節，尤其是重音部分。使用英語影子跟讀（shadowing site）的方法，可以幫助您更好地掌握這些發音，並改進您的口語流利度。此外，注意影片中講者的語調和停頓方式，儘量模仿將為您提供更有價值的聽說練習體驗。

影片中的語法

說話人最常用的結構，並附上影片中的原話：

結構	影片中的用法
“used to” used to + 動詞 — 過去的習慣或狀態，現在已不再如此	used to be · used to end
現在完成時 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去發生但與現在仍有關聯的事	I've always hoped · has become · I've heard
被動語態 be + 過去分詞 — 強調發生了什麼，而不是誰做的	be treated · are fixed · is built
定語從句 who / which + 從句 — 補充說明人或事物	someone who didn · someone who believes

什麼是跟讀法？

跟讀法 (Shadowing) 是一種有科學依據的語言學習技巧，最初開發用於專業口譯員的培訓，並由多語言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。這個方法簡單而強大：您在聽英語母語原聲的同時立即大聲重複——就像是一個延遲1-2秒緊跟說話者的影子。與被動聽力或語法練習不同，跟讀法強迫您的大腦和口腔肌肉同時處理並模模擬實的講話模式。研究表明它能顯著提高發音準確性，語調，節奏，連讀，聽力理解和口語流利度——使其成為雅思口語備考和真實英語交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟讀法: 閱讀完整分步指南 →

跟讀練習: Are you a giver or taker? - 通過影片學習英語口語

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為什麼要通過這個影片練習口語？

句法與表達的語境分析

常見的發音難點

影片中的語法

什麼是跟讀法？