Prática de Shadowing: Ask Matt Anything: Authenticity, Anxiety, and Answering Well - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
Escolha um modo de prática
Cada modo abre uma sala de prática em tela cheia.
250 frases
Se as frases estiverem muito curtas ou longas, clique em Edit para ajustá-las.
1
Let's flip the script.
2
Instead of asking questions, today I'm going to answer some.
3
I'm Matt Abrahams, and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business.
4
Welcome to this QuickThinks Ask Matt Anything episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast.
5
One of the many, many things I love about our Think Fast, Talk Smart learning community is interacting with our members.
6
I do this through posts, comments, and discussions, along with our author talks and AMAs, Ask Matt Anythings.
7
Today, I'm sharing a portion of our recent learning community, AMA.
8
Listen in to learn about authenticity, anxiety management, and answering questions well.
9
And consider joining the learning community at fastersmarter.io slash learning to ask your questions live.
10
So let's jump right in.
11
Chris, what's your question, please?
12
Question, Matt.
13
So I do a lot of email correspondence And the nature of my job is people are trying to sell me things all the time.
14
And there's one introduction that people often use to an email that I just don't like it.
15
And I really try to avoid it.
16
It's people saying, I hope you're doing well.
17
I know you understand what I'm talking about, but I understand why it's there.
18
But it's soft language.
19
It's an empty gesture because it doesn't matter.
20
And so I found myself when I compose an email, I just skip anything like that and go straight to business.
21
What are your thoughts on that and your experience with that?
22
It's funny that you bring that up, Chris.
23
So Glenn Cremond, who was one of our early guests, he is a colleague of mine at the business school.
24
He teaches a course on writing.
25
He is an editor at the New York Times.
26
He has exactly the same pet peeve.
27
He does not like the superfluous nature of that.
28
And I agree.
29
It's trite now that people do it.
30
However, I do like the notion of trying to connect first before jumping into an ask.
31
I think in some cases it can be a little off-putting if you just jump in straight away and say, I need this.
32
I think other modes of communication are more for that type of transactional get to the point.
33
I'm thinking of Slack or even texting.
34
Email to me feels slightly more formal.
35
And that's where I like to start with some kind of connection.
36
I'll perhaps say hello.
37
I might comment on the day.
38
I might say, I hope that your Tuesday is going well.
39
I might comment on something.
40
I know that the person has done.
41
If I have some connection with them, I might say, you know, how was your kid's basketball game?
42
I know the last time we spoke, you mentioned it.
43
So for me personally, it's a little hard on email to jump right in with the ask.
44
That said, I totally appreciate your point and using something trite, I think can be difficult.
45
Do you use it?
46
Chris, I'm going to put a question to you.
47
Do you use any kind of affectation or do you just jump straight in?
48
I think I usually just say, I'd like to share this with you or I was thinking of you and this is what I would like to share with you.
49
Excellent.
50
Yeah.
51
Yeah.
52
So you do connect a little bit.
53
I mean, we have a lot of research.
54
We have a lot of research that says connect first really helps.
55
It builds some warmth and relationship.
56
In an email, I think just as I would say if a phone call or a remote call like this, there is some time that I think should be reserved for connecting first.
57
but something trite such as hope you are well is a bit much.
58
Other questions that you might have.
59
Hi, I'm Jofun.
60
I'm from Germany.
61
Welcome to India.
62
Whenever I try to speak something impromptu, it just seems like I'm speaking too fast.
63
And then there is this mess in my head that I'm trying to string it through.
64
So do you have any suggestions or any helpful tips that I can follow?
65
So thank you for the question.
66
So Joffin, you're asking when speaking, your brain is working really fast.
67
You're thinking of a lot of things.
68
And sometimes when you end up speaking, then you end up speaking fast.
69
And how are there ways to slow that down?
70
So there's several things to do.
71
First, we feel this intense pressure in the moment, as you mentioned, to respond right away.
72
And we don't have to.
73
You can take a pause.
74
You can actually ask for it.
75
You can say, let me think about that for a moment.
76
Or perhaps you could ask a follow on question to get the other person responding so you can collect your thoughts.
77
Or any of you who've listened to the show know that I am a huge fan of paraphrasing, extracting a key essence.
78
All three of those buy you a little bit of time so that you can collect your thoughts so you don't feel as rushed.
79
Because when we feel rushed, we begin to think faster.
80
We get a little nervous and anxious.
81
So that's just giving yourself time.
82
Second, slowing yourself down, taking a deep breath.
83
When we get very anxious, we breathe shallow.
84
We start thinking quickly and we speak quickly.
85
So taking a deep breath slows down the autonomic nervous system, slows down your breath rate.
86
So you'll speak more slowly and it can actually slow down your thought process because you're calming yourself down.
87
Mentally, what I encourage you to do when you get in those moments is to think to yourself, what's the bottom line of what I want to say?
88
Anchor yourself.
89
A lot of us in those moments, we think a lot of thoughts all at once and it can get jumbled and that jumbled nature makes us think quicker because we're trying to figure things out.
90
Just say to yourself, what's the bottom line of my response?
91
What's the bottom line of my thought or feeling?
92
ground yourself there and then build your response from that point.
93
And as you know, I'm a big fan of structure.
94
This might be where what, so what, now what then comes in once I bottom line.
95
When you are saying to slow down while speaking.
96
So I believe I am a fast speaker and probably it's for the good or maybe for the worst, but I feel comfortable when I'm speaking fast.
97
So do you have any ideas or suggestions how I can really improve to slow down speaking or am I really fighting against my instinct?
98
Many of us speak faster than we want to, or in some cases should.
99
Speaking quickly boils down to breath.
100
Your voice is a wind instrument, just like a flute, a clarinet, a saxophone.
101
So breath is really critical.
102
So there are three things I recommend to people to help slow down.
103
First, breathe more deeply.
104
When you breathe deeply, you are actually slowing down your speaking rate because it just takes longer to do.
105
When I breathe shallow, I speak really quickly because I'm breathing fast.
106
So when I take a deep breath, I slow down.
107
So first, if you know you're going into an interaction where you're likely to speak quickly and you want to speak slower, take a deep belly breath.
108
Second, gesture more slowly.
109
I bet you gesture quickly.
110
Most people who speak fast gesture fast.
111
We sync up our gesture rate and our speaking rate.
112
So another thing you can do to slow yourself down is to gesture more slowly.
113
The slower I gesture, the slower I speak.
114
So low, slow breathing, slower gestures.
115
And then the final bit of advice is a mental idea, which is imagine that everyone you are speaking to is non-native to the language you are speaking.
116
So if I believe everybody I'm talking to is newer to the language that I'm speaking, in my case, English, by nature, we tend to slow down.
117
So breathe more slowly, deeper, gesture more slowly, and remind yourself that everybody you're speaking to is new to the language you're speaking.
118
And those three things in some combination will help slow down your speaking rate.
119
Hopefully that was helpful.
120
Yulia, I'd love to hear your question, please.
121
Thank you so much for having me here.
122
First, I'd like to thank you so much, Matt, for the wisdom that you are sharing.
123
And my question is the following.
124
All of us have, by nature, we have specific kind of way how we communicate.
125
Some of us are more self-spoken, some of us are more direct.
126
I believe that all communicators, all good communicators have to have a wide repertoire or like a tool that can be applied in different occasions and with different people.
127
So how can we develop this ability to adapt to different people who may not necessarily appreciate our nature the way we are?
128
What I hear in your question, Yulia, is really talking about authenticity, who we really are in our approach and thinking about the expectations that others have.
129
I will always argue that we should be true to ourselves.
130
being disingenuous, faking it.
131
That's not how we want to come off.
132
It doesn't feel good, and often it can get us in trouble.
133
That said, there are certain expectations in certain communication situations where we might have to adjust and adapt.
134
So some of you for your work, for example, have to speak in a very formal way, giving presentations or in meetings, and that might not be comfortable or what is typical in your more conversational approach.
135
So certainly our authenticity has to meet reality.
136
I am not saying to again, be disingenuous, but we have to be responsive.
137
Our goal is to serve the audiences that we speak to.
138
The single best thing you can do to help understand and be authentic is to take the time to really reflect on what's important for you and where your strengths are and your areas to strengthen.
139
Every night before I go to bed, I journal.
140
And part of that journaling is to reflect on something that went well that day in my communication and something that I'd like to improve from that day.
141
And every Sunday, I come back and look at what I've written for the previous week and make a plan for the subsequent week.
142
And I've been doing that for decades.
143
And that helps me to really not only develop my skills, but to really best understand what's important to me in communication and how I can lean into those things.
144
Be authentic, understand what's important to you and how you want to show up so that you feel comfortable in yourself doing that.
145
But at the same time, think about the expectations of the situation and what would help.
146
So for example, part of who I am is I'm very curious.
147
So I like to ask lots of questions.
148
You all have heard me ask lots of questions.
149
But sometimes there are situations where asking questions is not what the circumstance or context demands.
150
And I need to adjust and adapt while still staying true to my curiosity and who I am.
151
So it's first about discovering what's important to you.
152
The reflection activity I do every evening might help as part of that.
153
And then it's being aware of what's expected in the situation in the context.
154
Thank you.
155
I appreciate it, Matt.
156
Other questions that some of you might have.
157
Would love to take one or two more questions before I wrap things up.
158
I'm giving a talk for the Alzheimer's Association, which I do as a volunteer, and it's scripted.
159
It has these speaker notes and it's specific information that they kind of stand by.
160
So I'm just kind of struggling with like these speaker notes that are, you know, it's like I'm either reading it and so I'm kind of struggling with, do I just stand in front of of these people and read it.
161
There are times when all of us have to communicate where we are expected to say certain things.
162
Think of a company executive who, because of the media, because of investors, needs to say something exactly the right way because they can get in trouble.
163
I don't think your situation is that defined, but they do want you to get certain information across.
164
So I would, as best I could, if I were in your shoes, find a way to integrate that information into a way that's true and authentic for me, that's comfortable.
165
So maybe I don't use every word that they say, but I get the general idea across.
166
And if you can embed that in a truth for you, a story that's relevant to you, an experience that you've had, that makes it easier.
167
So a way that I coach executives to deal with the problem that you're having.
168
So let's say their legal department sends the paragraph, you have to say this.
169
I will have them read it a couple times so they're familiar with what it says.
170
And then I'll say, put the paragraph aside and just speak what you remember of it.
171
And as they're doing that, we're recording it.
172
And we do it a couple times and we begin to see their natural way of saying it.
173
So they're not memorizing it.
174
They're just saying, here's the way they've internalized it.
175
And then they share it.
176
And then what we do from that is we create bullet points.
177
So it's not a paragraph, but we create a few bullet points that are enough to trigger them to help.
178
What I do personally, what works for me, and this might work for you, Elizabeth, is I turn things into questions.
179
For some reason, my brain is better able to remember content when I remind myself that I'm answering a question rather than relaying information, even if the information is the same.
180
So instead of saying, I want to cover these two points, I say, I'm going to answer these two questions.
181
and I frame it as a question that I am answering, it takes some of the pressure off.
182
And for some reason, I am able to get the information across in a more clear, concise, and accurate way.
183
So my two bits of advice to you in your situation is to speak it out loud a couple times reading it and then record yourself saying it without looking at the manuscript.
184
See where you land and then create an outline from that.
185
And maybe also think if somebody asked me the question, what does this organization do or how can you support this organization?
186
Just to answer those questions and see how close you come to the manuscript they gave you.
187
My hunch, if you're like me, is you'll come pretty close when you frame it as a question.
188
I hope there was something in there that could be helpful.
189
Yeah, absolutely.
190
Thanks.
191
Excellent.
192
I had a question, something that you did there with concluding and saying like any questions.
193
I feel like that's oftentimes sort of a panic stage of a presentation where my mind starts racing about if there are no questions, how I'm going to kind of ad lib to fill up the awkward silence and then also fight off concerns like, okay, not questions because either I delivered something completely nonsensical or it was so dull that it didn't prompt any questions.
194
And then I think also the start of presentations are the places where I feel like I struggle the most.
195
And of course, with the start, it sort of sets the tone for the rest of things to follow.
196
So I'm curious about if you have tips on that.
197
Many of us are most nervous when we start a communication, be it a meeting, a presentation, even a social interaction.
198
So the advice I give to people, one is to get present and collect your thoughts, deep breathing, focusing on your goal.
199
But I also like to have people distract their audiences, get them doing something so their attention isn't just focused on you.
200
How do you do that?
201
Well, you don't want the distraction to be off topic.
202
Do something that gets them engaged.
203
So for example, take a poll.
204
If you're in front of a large group, how many of you have?
205
Show a video clip.
206
I work with a very senior leader at a company you all know.
207
He's very nervous when he speaks, especially at the beginning.
208
So all he does is say, good morning, everyone.
209
Let's watch this video.
210
And he has a video clip that's very brief.
211
And then when the video's over, he just asks people to comment on it.
212
So when you take a poll, when you show a video, when you put up a provocative image, slide, whatever, you take people's attention away from you.
213
And if you immediately ask a question on the response, then you are in a different role.
214
You are now a facilitator, not a presenter.
215
And for many of us, we are much more comfortable in that situation.
216
So I challenge all of you to think about how can I start in a way that invites people to engage so their attention is not just on me, it's on the activity, whatever that was.
217
So that's how I recommend you start in a way that can reduce some of that awkwardness and nervousness.
218
Now, on the other side of the equation, when you go to call for questions and there are no questions, first you have to wait.
219
Pausing is appropriate.
220
There are lots of reasons people don't ask questions right away.
221
Maybe they're nervous and they're trying to muster their courage.
222
Maybe they're thinking of their answer or their question first.
223
Maybe they're just trying to see what types of questions get asked.
224
So you have to pause.
225
And then if no questions come in, ask yourself a question.
226
I am a big fan of what I call a back pocket question.
227
So if nobody asks a question, I might say a question I'm often asked is.
228
So you see, I'm about to ask myself a question.
229
Now, obviously I should know the answer to my question.
230
That could really be helpful to making sure that the dead air is filled.
231
And you'd be amazed that when you answer that question, how easily you get the second question.
232
So it's all about getting your audience engaged in some activity upfront.
233
So it changes your role for presenter to facilitator.
234
And in the end, you have to pause when you call for questions.
235
And then if no questions come in, ask yourself a question.
236
And just by knowing that you have those tools, it reduces your anxiety because you know you can handle both of those situations.
237
So I encourage all of you to try one or both of those in a lower stakes situation, not a super high stakes one to see the value.
238
And that'll build your confidence even farther.
239
Thank you for joining us for this Quick Thinks Ask Matt Anything episode.
240
To join our next AMA Live, sign up for our Think Fast, Talk Smart Learning community at fastersmarter.io slash learning.
241
This episode was produced by Katherine Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.
242
Our music is from Floyd Wonder with thanks to Podium Podcast Company.
243
Please find us on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.
244
Be sure to subscribe and rate us.
245
Also follow us on LinkedIn, TikTok, and Instagram.
246
And check out faster smarter.io for deep dive videos, English language learning content, and our newsletter.
247
Please consider our premium offering for extended Deep Thinks episodes and much more at faster smarter.io slash premium.
248
You'll also find value by joining our think fast talk smart learning community at faster smarter.io slash learning.
249
You'll find video lessons, learning quests, discussion boards, an AI coach, and book club opportunities.
250
Again, that's faster smarter.io slash learning to become part of our ThinkFast TalkSmart learning community.
Baixar aplicativo
Tudo o que você precisa para falar fluentemente
Pronúncia com IANota em cada frase
Prática de IPADomine cada som
VocabulárioMonte seu banco de palavras
Jogo de vocabulárioAprenda brincando
Mesmo canal
C11
Know Before You Tell - The Three-Part Framework Every Communicator Needs
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
Trust the Process: How to Design Teams That Actually Work
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
Want To Make Your Ideas Stick? Make It Into A Meme!
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2What 300 Episodes Has Taught Us
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
Why Every Question Is A Gift
Business EnglishWorking Adults
C13
Shark Tank's Daniel Lubetzky: The Pitch Mistake That Loses Investors
Business EnglishWorking Adults
C11
A Matter of Meaning: What Other People Teach You About Your Communication
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1Quick Thinks: A CLEAR Way Through Conflict
Business EnglishWorking Adults
C12
The First 5 Seconds: How to Start a Speech the Moment All Eyes Suddenly Turn to You | AMA
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C111
The Devastating Note That Nearly Made Adam Grant Quit Teaching
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B26
Ask Matt Anything: Don’t Let Your Communication Fizzle at the Finish
Business EnglishWorking Adults
B23
Message Market Fit: Turning Great Ideas Into Communication That Lands
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
REPLACED BY RETHINKS How to Pitch Anything: 10-20-30 Rule by Guy Kawasaki
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C112
Your Voice Is a Wind Instrument | Matt Abrahams on Projecting Without Straining
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
Quick Thinks: How to Have Better Conversations About Aging
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C115
Future You: Unconventional Ways in which Your Future Self Benefits You
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
Communicating the Future: Defining Where We Want AI To Take Us
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B27
Accent-uate, Don't Compensate: Why Clarity Matters More Than Perfection
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C17
Small Talk Tips From a Matchmaker: Start Your Story in the MIDDLE!
Business EnglishInterview EnglishUniversity Students
B21
Happiness And Time Management: Time Track Your Day For A Happier Life
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
FOR YOU
Vídeo recomendado
B24
30 frases
Finally Sending a Text She Put Off for 15 Years
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
284 frases
2689 - Don’t Want to Sound Harsh? Soften the Blow with These Phrases
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2640
38 frases
Stop introducing yourself like this.
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
C11
526 frases
What AI Can Never Replace w/ Megan Kobzej | Cloud English Podcast Episode 91
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C13
335 frases
How to articulate your thoughts more clearly than 99% of people
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C146
888 frases
Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B21
155 frases
Think Less. Do More - George Mack
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
332 frases
Don't Make These Mistakes in Everyday English! | English Podcast
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B221
375 frases
Tom Holland Reveals The Real Reason He Was Drinking
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
407 frases
If You're in Your 20s, Watch This BEFORE It's Too Late
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Sobre Esta Lição
Nesta lição, você irá praticar a comunicação eficaz em inglês, focando na autenticidade e na gestão da ansiedade durante interações. Através de um diálogo sobre e-mails profissionais, você aprenderá a importância de criar conexões antes de fazer solicitações. Além disso, você terá a oportunidade de aprimorar sua pronúncia em inglês e a expressividade na fala, utilizando a técnica de shadow speak enquanto acompanha o vídeo.
Vocabulário e Frases Chave
- Authenticity - Autenticidade
- Anxiety - Ansiedade
- Email correspondence - Correspondência por email
- Superfluous - Supérfluo
- Connection - Conexão
- Ask - Solicitação
- Transaction - Transação
- Soft language - Linguagem suave
Dicas de Prática
Ao praticar com o vídeo, tente utilizar a técnica de shadow speech, que consiste em acompanhar o falante na mesma velocidade e tom. Este método não só ajudará você a melhorar a pronúncia em inglês, mas também a captar a emoção e a intenção por trás das palavras. Aqui estão algumas dicas específicas para o vídeo:
- Assista a seção inicial do vídeo pausando frequentemente para repetir frases. Isso ajudará a fixar o vocabulário e a entonação correta.
- Preste atenção à maneira como Matt expressa suas ideias, especialmente nas partes onde ele discute sobre a necessidade de uma conexão antes de um pedido. Tente imitá-lo para ganhar confiança.
- Experimente expressar seus próprios pensamentos sobre a comunicação em e-mails e grave-se. Depois, ouça sua gravação para identificar áreas que você pode melhorar.
- Utilize o recurso de shadowspeak para praticar em situações cotidianas. Tente iniciar conversas curtas, aplicando o que aprendeu sobre criar conexão antes de fazer suas solicitações.
Com o tempo e prática, você se sentirá mais confortável e autêntico na sua comunicação em inglês. Aproveite a oportunidade de aprender inglês com youtube para explorar outros tópicos que expandem suas habilidades de comunicação.
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | has done · who've listened · I've written |
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | should be reserved · can be applied · are expected |
| Orações relativas who / which + oração — informação extra sobre uma pessoa ou coisa | people who speak · idea, which is · people who may |
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.