Prática de Shadowing: Understanding EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT: the key to resilience - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo

Escolha um modo de prática

Cada modo abre uma sala de prática em tela cheia.

130 frases

Se as frases estiverem muito curtas ou longas, clique em Edit para ajustá-las.

I'm Dr. Orion Taraband, and this is Psych Hacks, Better Living Through Psychology.

The topic of today's short talk is understanding emotional detachment.

So I thought this episode might be necessary after conducting a

recent consultation with a well -spoken young man who watched my episode, How to Love Without Emotional Attachment,

and who came away with what I considered to be some misconceptions about my message.

However, I reasoned that if this intelligent guy had these misconceptions, then probably other people did as well, and that maybe my message wasn't entirely clear.

So I thought I would make a follow -up episode to critically examine emotional detachment, what it is and what it isn't.

Emotional detachment is an incredibly useful skill.

In fact, it might be the most important emotional survival strategy of which I am aware.

And I approach the concept of emotional detachment through a Buddhist lens,

namely through the realization that the universe is in a never -ending process of becoming.

Everything in this world is ephemeral.

Even now, the present moment is changing, is dying, is transforming into something else,

which will itself change, die, and transform.

Within this understanding, everything that we have will eventually be taken from us.

So why cling?

Permanence is an illusion in the world under the sun.

Your property, your relationships, your incarnate being, you'll lose them all in the fullness of time.

So how will you respond when it comes time to let them go?

Will you give back what you had with gratitude for the time that you were allowed to spend with it?

Or will you cling to it with an attachment that is as tenacious as it is futile?

Futile because no amount of tenacity will succeed in holding something a moment longer than you possibly can.

On the other hand, emotional detachment is a skill that facilitates surrender.

And surrender is something that we will eventually have to do with respect to everything that we have been given, including our own lives.

It's a way of holding things gently.

And this is important because, as I discussed in my episode, Hold People Like Sand, the tighter you squeeze,

the more what you're holding tends to slip through your fingers.

Now, I need to be clear about something.

Emotional detachment does not mean that you have no emotions.

A complete absence of emotion, in my opinion, is not something we should be striving for.

Unfortunately, many men do succeed in functionally divorcing themselves from their emotional experience.

However, I believe that such men do so at great cost to themselves.

This is because it generally requires some degree of self -violence in order to amputate a component of your lived experience.

Of course, most men cannot do this completely, so they arrive at a place where the only emotion that they can consistently recognize is anger.

Long periods of a kind of numb neutrality are punctuated periodically with intense episodes of anger and frustration.

And that is no way to live life, my friends.

For me personally, emotions make my life richer, more interesting, more enjoyable, more complex.

I like having emotions, but I am also very emotionally detached.

Emotional detachment does not mean that you sort of dissociate from your emotional experience

or that you alienate yourself from your feeling sensitivity.

We do not want to become unfeeling rocks.

This is an extreme solution.

That said, we also do not want the other extreme solution, which we might call emotional fusion.

When a man is fused with his emotions, there is no space between his felt experience and his seat of being.

In emotional fusion, the man is his emotional experience.

If he feels something, he not only assumes that the emotion is justified, but that he must act on the emotion in some way.

This person has to say his piece, or wears his heart on his sleeve, or generally rides the hedonic roller coaster.

He's overjoyed when things are going well, and heartbroken and despondent when things don't go his way.

Such men have no emotional detachment and little self -control.

And this is a terrible way of moving through the world for many reasons.

In the first place, your emotions are not always justified in as much as the model of reality from

which your emotions arise may not be entirely aligned with that reality.

And acting on the basis of a flawed model is very likely to create pain and suffering.

And in the second place, emotions change even when they are justified.

Emotions are like the weather.

they're constantly shifting.

Acting from a place of emotion often leaves you with consequences

that far outlast the emotion that originally produced the impulse to act.

And that's a very dangerous asymmetry.

You can make a decision in anger or fear or hopelessness once that will permanently change the rest of your life.

It's not fair, but that's the way it is.

Now, before I go any further, if you're liking what you're hearing, please consider sending this episode to someone who might benefit from its message

because it's word of mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow.

You can also hit the thanks button and tip me in proportion to the value you feel you've derived from this message.

It's your support that makes all of this possible.

I don't do corporate sponsorships or product placements, so I really do rely on you guys to help me make all this happen.

And I really do appreciate your support.

Thank you.

Now, what should we do instead?

It's a better idea to find some middle path between these two dangerous extremes.

And that middle path is emotional detachment.

To begin with, it helps to not treat your emotions like they're precious.

I discussed this in greater detail in my episode, Emotions Are Impersonal.

People think emotions are personal because only they get to feel them.

However, behind every emotion is a thought, and the thoughts that consistently create those emotions are impersonal.

If I were to think the same thoughts and believe them to be true, then the same emotion would arise in me as well.

So we don't have to consider emotions to be these inherently valuable jewels

that are more meaningful or significant than other aspects of our experience.

In my opinion, it's better to hold our emotions gently and to consider them in light of multiple sources of information,

our reason, our senses, to decrease the likelihood that we're being misled.

In this way, we can consider emotions to be a source of information among many other sources of information.

And we can do this more easily by kind of observing our emotions at some remove,

like you can remain still and unmoving in the seat of your being while simultaneously watching your emotions circulate through your body.

That's what I mean by emotional detachment.

It's like experiencing your emotions at arm's length.

And this allows you to consider the information or even wisdom contained within them without allowing them to permeate your entire consciousness.

If emotional fusion is like drowning and emotional amputation is like staying as far away from water as possible,

then emotional detachment is like swimming.

You're in the water, but you're not of the water.

And this is useful because our emotions are actually really important sources of information for us.

We typically need our emotions in order to make good decisions.

Here's something you might find interesting.

It's sometimes the case, usually as a consequence of some tumor or growth, that a person's limbic system,

the portion of the brain responsible for emotional processing in mammals, must be surgically removed.

As might be expected, these people don't experience emotions after these procedures,

but perhaps more unexpected, they also develop a terrible time making decisions.

Like if you were to put one of these people in the cereal aisle of a grocery store,

they would spend hours debating what box of cereal to buy.

They'll think, okay, this box is $4 .25 and has a net weight of 22 grams.

100

Now, this one's a bit less expensive, but its net weight is proportionally lower, so the cost per gram is actually two cents higher.

101

That said, it also has more niacin per serving,

102

so the two cent per gram savings in the one case might be more than offset by the relative deficiency in niacin,

103

and so on, and so on, and so on.

104

Do you see what I'm getting at?

105

In the absence of emotion, there is only factual information.

106

And the human mind is actually not great at keeping a

107

lot of factual information in its working memory at any one time.

108

This creates information overload, which in turn leads to analysis paralysis.

109

On the other hand, a normal person just walks down the cereal aisle and says,

110

ooh, lucky charms, and throws it in his cart and keeps on moving.

111

People have to make like 10 ,000 decisions a day.

112

And most of these decisions don't really matter.

113

This is where emotions come in.

114

One of the primary functions of emotions is to serve as heuristics in decision making,

115

allowing us to navigate the world by expending fewer cognitive resources.

116

People who don't have access to their emotions struggle to make decisions.

117

And that's because decision is an act of the will and has more to do with emotion than thought.

118

So that's emotional detachment, the ability to observe your emotional experience at some remove.

119

This will allow you to access the information contained within your emotions without necessarily acting upon them.

120

You can feel the emotional impulse to act without relenting to it.

121

This requires some measure of self -discipline, but like any other virtue, you strengthen it by practicing it.

122

By not clinging to your own emotional experience, you will increasingly learn to allow things to come and go,

123

which in turn will help you to be more present, more grateful, and ultimately more loving in your relationships.

124

Hopefully that clears a few things up.

125

What do you think?

126

Does this fit with your own experience?

127

Let me know in the comments below.

128

And if you've gotten this far, you might as well like this episode and subscribe to this channel.

129

You may also consider becoming a channel member with perks like the priority review of comments or booking a paid consultation.

130

As always, thank you for listening.

Baixar aplicativo

Tudo o que você precisa para falar fluentemente

Pronúncia com IANota em cada frase

Prática de IPADomine cada som

VocabulárioMonte seu banco de palavras

Jogo de vocabulárioAprenda brincando

Escaneie o QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Mesmo canal

The five hard conversations: preventing divorce

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

Vídeo recomendado

241 frases

How to Build Mental Toughness | English Podcast for Learning, Shadowing & Life Growth

Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults

Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição

Esta aula de conversação usa o vídeo “Understanding EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT: the key to resilience”. As palavras que mais se repetem: emotion, emotional, detachment, experience, episode. Este vídeo tem 130 frases e 1749 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 11:07. O falante fala em ritmo natural, cerca de 157 palavras por minuto, próximo de uma conversa do dia a dia. 83% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês; vale a pena estudar o restante antes de começar.

Vocabulário principal deste vídeo

15 palavras do vídeo que vale a pena aprender, com pronúncia e significado:

Palavra	Pronúncia	Significado
emotion substantivo	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	emoção
anger substantivo	/ˈæŋɡə/	raiva, ira
justify verbo	/ˈd͡ʒʌstɪfaɪ/	justificar
fusion substantivo	/ˈfjuː.ʒən/	fusão
gram substantivo	/ˈɡɹæm/	grama
cereal substantivo	/ˈsɪə.ɹɪ.əl/	cereal
skill substantivo	/skɪl/	habilidade, talento
absence substantivo	/ˈæb.s(ə)n̩s/	ausência
succeed verbo	/səkˈsiːd/	seguir
consistently advérbio	/kənˈsɪstəntli/	consistentemente
surrender verbo	/səˈɹɛndə(ɹ)/	render, entregar
gently advérbio	/ˈd͡ʒɛntli/	gentilmente
consequence substantivo	/ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/	consequência, resultado
observe verbo	/əbˈzɜːv/	seguir, acompanhar
transform verbo	/tɹænsˈfɔɹm/	transformar

Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir

Palavra	Significado
give back verbo	devolver

Frases que vale a pena repetir

Frases curtas e completas do vídeo que você pode usar na conversa do dia a dia:

It's your support that makes all of this possible.
That's what I mean by emotional detachment.
It's like experiencing your emotions at arm's length.
Do you see what I'm getting at?
Does this fit with your own experience?

Gramática neste vídeo

As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:

Estrutura	No vídeo
Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz	be taken · were allowed · have been given
Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora	have been given · you've derived · you've gotten
Orações relativas who / which + oração — informação extra sobre uma pessoa ou coisa	man who watched · someone who might · People who don

Pronúncia para ficar de olho

O falante usa 22 contrações e formas reduzidas, como don't, you're, I'm. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.

Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, fusion /ˈfjuː.ʒən/, consultation /ˌkɑnsəlˈteɪʃən/, consciousness /ˈkɑnʃəsnəs/, proportion /pɹəˈpɔɹʃən/
Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, consultation /ˌkɑnsəlˈteɪʃən/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, priority /pɹaɪˈɒɹɪti/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/

Sons difíceis para falantes de português:

Consoante final — sem acrescentar um “i” depois: succeed /səkˈsiːd/, attachment /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, topic /ˈtɑpɪk/, component /kəmˈpoʊ.nənt/, intelligent /ɪnˈtɛlɪd͡ʒənt/
/l/ final — a língua toca o céu da boca, não vira “u”: cereal /ˈsɪə.ɹɪ.əl/, skill /skɪl/, aisle /aɪ̯l/, factual /ˈfæk.tʃ(u)əl/, survival /sɚˈvaɪ.vəl/
/h/ — um sopro suave, diferente do “r”: likelihood /ˈlaɪklihʊd/, inherently /ɪnˈhɛɹəntli/, hedonic /ˈhiːdənɪk/, heuristic /hjuˈɹɪstɪk/

Como praticar com este vídeo

Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
Comece na velocidade 0,75×, faça shadowing frase por frase e volte à velocidade normal quando ficar fácil.
Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como emotion, anger, justify.

O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?

Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.

Técnica de shadowing: leia o guia completo passo a passo →

Prática de Shadowing: Understanding EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT: the key to resilience - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo

Escolha um modo de prática

Baixar aplicativo

The five hard conversations: preventing divorce

Objectify him: texting

How to Detach So Fast It Feels Kinda Scary

Coping skills and Psychological Defenses - An Introduction

Fawning: The Survival Strategy That Turns Into Self-Abandonment | Fawning #2

Only an Emotion | Teachings by Thich Nhat Hanh

Command Your Life: The Neuroscience of Self-Worth & Power

Why Do We Stay in Relationships That Hurt Us?

Gabor Maté – Authenticity vs. Attachment

You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions

Stop Rehearsing The Life You Don’t Want | Dr Joe Dispenza Motivation

How To Get Over Rejection