Практика Shadowing: How to Cope as a Useless Lonely Rat // EP 108 - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

Выберите режим практики

Каждый режим открывает полноэкранную комнату практики.

912 предложений

Если предложения слишком короткие или длинные, нажмите Edit, чтобы их изменить.

Right, hello everybody.

Hello, hello, hello.

Is this thing on?

Testing, testing.

Greetings, loved ones.

It's me.

This week we have a bit of a show and tell episode and I'm really excited to get into this.

Okay, so let's just jump straight in.

Fuck, I can't wait.

I can't wait.

You'll notice that the title of this episode, since I already know what I'm going to title it because I came up with it as the genius that I am, is how to cope as a useless, lonely rat.

Well, I would consider myself significantly useless and lonely and rat-like.

So the rat thing, by the way, is not an insult.

Like, I love rodents.

If you guys don't know this about me, I fucking love rodents.

I've had over the span of my life,

at least like 25 rodents in my love care like I've had well are rabbits rodents yes are rats rodents

or vermin google are rats rodents or vermin are rats rodents

or vermin rats are both oh fuck tough cut I mean

rough luck rats are both rats describes their biological classification of mammals with continuously growing incisors ew

while vermin is a functional label for nuisance animals that damage property or spread disease

so they're not vermin to me fine

so I'm never using the word vermin again unless it's potentially for myself kind of like

that actually vermin anyway rats aren't vermin that's just nasty

that is just unfair although to be fair yeah I do get it

if I was like a restaurant owner I might use

that term for them for me it's a pleasure to see

a rat do I want it to touch me especially in New York?

No, but I like looking.

Anyway, I've had so many rodents.

Are rabbits, rabbits, rodents or vermin?

Oh, they belong to a separate mammalian order called Lagomartha.

Okay, never heard that.

Which includes hares and pikas.

Oh, Pikachu.

While they chew and gnaw like rodents, they have distinct physical and bio...

Okay, why aren't they rodents?

Teeth.

They have two teeth.

rabbits have four teeth okay diets they're herbivores

so what do rats eat that's gross i don't want to

know scientists named them scientists grouped them with rodents until 1912

okay so until 1912 they were rodents i don't really care

so anyway moving swiftly on maybe i've had like 10 to 15 rodents in my care

and some lagomorpha on the side up to 10 lagomorpha

me and my mum make each other really a lot worse we both have some kind of sick

and twisted addiction to small animals but

and our house did stink growing up before you ask it reeked

and so did my room at uni

because i did have a mouse illegally in there the whole time

and he fucking kicked i loved him his name was lion rest in peace he was

so cool anyway you guys never really got to know him

but he was awesome anyway so why was i mentioning any of

that i have no real idea but oh oh

because I'm a useless rat so I and by the way

when I say I'm a useless rat see why do I

feel the need to use rat derogatorily I feel bad like guys please they're my friends okay

so I'm useless

and rat like complimentary it's just like I felt like I

needed to throw in a compliment at the end of the sentence redeeming feature

if you will so useless I have ADHD

but I'm also useless they are distinct I feel

because I kind of know

when it's like me versus like oh this is maybe I'm being harsh on myself

but like I can be medicated and still be useless

and that's how I know like come on bitch like I

can I can lock in for 15 I'm not kidding on

Saturday last weekend I locked in for I think eight

or nine hours consecutively like mind you I ate dinner didn't stop what I was doing

on rummy cup which I'm gonna talk

or rummy cube cube I rummy cube rummy cub rummy cube I don't know I'm gonna talk about

that later genuinely but when I say I'm useless I do mean it like quite seriously

and today I was having one of those days where it's like I have things to do

and I do not want to fucking do them

but it's also like I just can't like there's something in me

that is so like I can't start that I can't do anything

and so I first of all I woke up late today

because my sleep schedule has never been worse like I am genuinely losing my fucking mind

but I've just been letting it slide because I'm going to LA tomorrow

and so it's like it's gonna get fucked up anyway

when I get back oh I'm locking in I don't know what I'm gonna do to fix it

but like it's anyway no one cares

so useless rat like I said I was having one of

those days this morning the other day I went to Staples

oh wait do you guys like the new set sorry I didn't even address the fact

that we're in a whole new location i hope you guys

are feeling comfy i'm trying i'm trying out the kitchen table i don't think it's good right now

because the light is coming through just one it's not hitting my face right

and i didn't put up a studio lights a whole thing

let me know by the way this table just a little bit off topic

but because i i just like to lead by example this table i bought

and it took like i loved it when i bought it

but it wasn't cheap okay this table's beautiful and expensive like it's both

and so I'm not even gonna pretend like I got a fucking good deal on it I did not

and I bought it

because I had seen I had seen it online I'd been

shopping for a table then I went to this lovely establishment

and saw and like an identical one

100

and I was like I said to the girls I was with this do you guys fuck with

101

that table they were like yeah it's beautiful I was like cool bought it

102

because I was on the fence in the four weeks it

103

took to be delivered I was like I've made the biggest

104

mistake like it's not gonna fit nicely in the space I don't even know

105

if I want a table fucking I have this counter

106

and a stool

107

which is plenty I'm being greedy I was like it's the

108

wrong aesthetic it's ugly it's awful I was even thinking how am I gonna get rid of it it arrived

109

and I had been out

110

that evening drinking I got home drunk my assistant had handed delivery

111

and so it was just in my house when I got back my apartment

112

my flat if you will and I was like oh my like it's worse than I thought

113

fucked around with it while I was drunk

114

and then I was like I'm just gonna give up

115

and go to bed and look at this

116

when I have fresh eyes woke up with fresh eyes

117

and I was like it's awful like it doesn't look good

118

cleaned my apartment messed around with the table put in a new spot pulled up a chair

119

and I was like oh my god it's beautiful why did

120

I ever think it wasn't took a picture put it on

121

my Instagram story asked for the opinions of the good people on Instagram

122

and when I tell you I've never not seen at least one person.

123

Like, there wasn't one person that I saw who wasn't fucking with the table.

124

Everyone fucked with the table.

125

They were everyone.

126

It was insane.

127

The most insane experience ever.

128

I was like, oh my God, I'm a genuinely, I'm a genius.

129

Anyway, this table was really expensive.

130

And one day it will feed my children.

131

It will feed my children, I think.

132

Because it's gorge.

133

I love this fucking table.

134

I love it.

135

Anyway.

136

oh do you guys like my new cup flexing brewing a little cup of rooibos tea

137

because i've recently learned that's decaffeinated

138

which i need to decrease my intake of caffeine it is going to kill me

139

so also got this lovely lamp

140

so anyway like i said i'm useless anyway i'm gonna restart the useless well kind of anyway so

141

so the other day i went to staples now let's talk

142

about notebooks for just a sec this is my journal okay

143

and i go through these probably one every two to three months

144

and I always buy the same one it's I can't remember the fucking size it's like the medium

145

or the one that's less than medium from moleskin but it's not the smallest one I'm obsessed with them

146

they are perfect to me always hardback always this size almost always this color

147

and I mostly just stick to this now because I've done already

148

so many of these ones that I'm like it looks

149

so nice when I put them all together

150

and see how many of the same thing that I've used I don't know anyway

151

went to staples got this this is maybe like 20 something dollars i don't actually know

152

but something like that i always forget even though i've bought

153

so fucking many of them this one i think three dollars from staples now

154

if you'll just observe the closeness in the blues if

155

that is not be you may be able to argue with me on it

156

but i if you want to just don't think about

157

that how about don't i think they pretty much match the

158

way a notebook looks whilst it's laid about in my apartment is very important to whether

159

or not I am going to make use of it.

160

If it looks ugly on my counter, it's never going to be open.

161

Like that's as simple as it is.

162

When it comes to like work and life, I write so many things down on sticky notes, on scrap paper, on whatever I can find.

163

To-do lists, everything.

164

And I love a to-do list and I love a physically written out to-do list.

165

Otherwise it doesn't satisfy me when things get checked off, which then therefore there's no point doing anything or being alive.

166

So I was like, what if I got a notebook, a small one, and it was for my to-do lists and

167

that way I have an archive at the end of it

168

of all of my to-do lists to join the accumulation of useless personal data that I gather relentlessly.

169

How fun.

170

Things like that motivate me to actually have to-do lists

171

and also to check them off

172

because this will not be a pleasing thing to keep

173

if all of my to-do lists are incomplete

174

so they all need to have a line through them ideally at some point

175

and then I have these on the inside these little oh

176

let me cover this stuff up then on the inside I

177

have these little green tabs that's going to be used as a bookmark for

178

when I get a bit thicker into the book so

179

that I can still find where I am on what page otherwise it would get real confusing.

180

So anyway that's my new little system that I'm very excited about

181

and how pretty and how cute is this and it can fit in my bag if I want to.

182

So that's how I've been dealing with being slightly less useless now.

183

I've actually come up with a series of relatively decent systems that have made me ever so slightly less useless lately.

184

Now I want to emphasize to you The extent of my uselessness is truly inspirational, I fear.

185

Like, it is insane how little it takes to overwhelm me to the point of full body fucking paralysis.

186

Like, and I have the utmost awareness that I have absolutely nothing to complain about in this department.

187

I have one of, like, the best jobs, arguably, in the world, I think.

188

Now, obviously, that depends on what you enjoy doing.

189

Therefore, it's going to affect your happiness rate.

190

Like there's people who this would be the worst job ever for.

191

But in regards to how much free time I get, where I get to work from and how much I get paid for doing what I do, I would argue probably best job ever.

192

Right.

193

So the fact that I still am like, I don't want to do it is like, OK, you know, that one tweet where someone's like, damn, you bitches really can't do anything.

194

And it's in response to someone tweeting about ADHD.

195

That couldn't be more about me.

196

I'm bitches.

197

I really am.

198

And I have no patience for it anymore.

199

And so I have been slowly trying to implement little tiny routines in my day that help me not be useless.

200

now this morning I woke up useless some days I wake up not useless

201

and it's magical

202

and I do everything other days I just wake up completely fucking useless today was one of those days namely

203

because I slept through all my alarms

204

because I slept with earplugs in last night

205

because they were drilling into like the fucking sewers outside my bedroom window

206

so I couldn't even hear my alarm this morning I woke up at like 11 a.m insane anyway

207

and I was just I overslept I was feeling useless

208

and I was like the fucking day's already gone

209

and I I can't do anything I just couldn't get my

210

brain to work could not get my brain to fucking work

211

and then I was like I feel gross like I feel disgusting

212

that I'm not doing anything I've spoken about this before how

213

when you have ADHD or we're not anyone

214

and you have things to do

215

and you're fucking procrastinating you're just not doing what you should be doing

216

that is stressful that time off the time of doing nothing that's not the same as relaxing

217

that is worse than doing the thing you need to be doing

218

and yet you still end up in that state and

219

that issue has plagued me my whole life I think

220

or at least since I was maybe like 13

221

so I'm gonna show I'm gonna show you something vulnerable okay please don't laugh thank you I became aware

222

that the idea of having big structure in my life is something that I personally cannot implement immediately, right?

223

Like I can't implement a super strict routine nine to five.

224

I don't have a nine to five job.

225

I work from home most days.

226

So I became aware that my mornings are really important to how the rest of my day goes.

227

I don't think that I am alone in that, right?

228

And I like to assume that I am not completely useless.

229

But that assumption is actually incorrect and incomplete.

230

I am more useless than I give myself credit for, as in I give myself too much credit sometimes what I mean by

231

that is I can accomplish big things

232

but I think I never what I'm saying is I didn't

233

notice how the smallest parts of my day can fuck up the bigger parts of my day does

234

that make sense so one thing I noticed is that I don't have a morning routine.

235

Never have had a morning routine.

236

I just know the things I need to get done in the morning and do them somehow.

237

Like I just, they just, obviously they get done.

238

I don't really forget to do things, but like I don't have a morning routine.

239

And I was like, what if I had a morning routine

240

that was step by step the things I need to do and I always do them in that order, would that help?

241

So I made the dumbest morning routine ever and it changed my life

242

and it's bent right now because my shower steam

243

but I pinned this above my bathroom mirror I pin this

244

to my bathroom mirror like stuck it to the mirror I'm

245

gonna put in a picture of what this routine is

246

and you guys please don't laugh at me I'm gonna read it to you also okay

247

so morning wake up that's the first thing on the routine perfect assuming that that is complete I then pee.

248

I'm not kidding.

249

This is the shit I have to actively write down for myself.

250

Pee, brush teeth, and then shower.

251

You'll notice shower is off to the side.

252

That's because I don't shower every morning because I kind of sometimes shower in the morning and at night.

253

Other times, if I've showered at night, I don't always shower in the morning.

254

And then I just kind of like feel it out.

255

Like, I don't always jump in the shower first thing in the morning.

256

Sue me.

257

Whether or not I've showered, I then rinse my face.

258

I've stopped washing my face in the morning because my dermatologist told me to stop and my skin has got better.

259

Rinse face, then put my contacts in.

260

Serum, moisturiser, sunscreen.

261

Then I go into the kitchen.

262

I pour water into a cup.

263

Take my meds.

264

Kettle on, which I fill before I go to bed most nights.

265

Make my tea.

266

I didn't write that down.

267

I just know it.

268

Prepare breakfast.

269

Eat.

270

and then I have phone access allowed after this point.

271

I abide by that occasionally.

272

And then off to the side, I have Shakti mat.

273

Something I'm trying to add into my morning routines more often

274

is to lay on my Shakti mat for 15 minutes in the morning.

275

I haven't really been doing this because I haven't been feeling like I need to.

276

I'm also do it in the evenings to help me chill the fuck out or in the middle of the day.

277

It resets me.

278

Yeah.

279

So obviously that is the most basic morning routine ever.

280

But when you stand in the mirror for the first five minutes of being awake that day,

281

and there is someone, some other version of you that was more capable than you are in the morning, immediately after waking up, who is telling you,

282

go pee and then rinse your face and then put your contacts in.

283

Otherwise, you're going to get water in your contacts.

284

These are the things that change your life, people.

285

I'm not kidding.

286

Like, and it's so soothing because you have to parent yourself as you grow up, right?

287

Like you have to do the things that your mom told you to do.

288

And that was a horrible and harrowing realization.

289

It's like, even if it sounds like, oh my God, that's the dumbest morning routine ever.

290

I can't believe you need that.

291

Fair, completely fair assessment of that.

292

I do need that.

293

That is actually the level at which I function.

294

I need handholding.

295

the good part about that is is I'm capable of holding my own hand it's just

296

that various different versions of me hold my own hand for

297

different versions does this make sense does this make sense anyway

298

that really helped

299

that little bit of structure now I know what I'm doing

300

for the first 25 minutes of my day fuck knows what comes after that

301

but at least the first bit of my morning is not

302

filled with like trying to make a decision the other things I've been doing

303

if this is of interest to anyone is timers on my

304

phone go in the clock app onto the timer thing

305

when there is something I really don't want to fucking do

306

and I've been struggling to get it done 10 minutes you just have to sit down

307

and do it for 10 minutes

308

when the timer goes off you can stop usually by the

309

end of those 10 minutes I'm good to keep going

310

and I'll set a timer for 30 minutes

311

and I'll do it until those 30 minutes are up maybe then I'll keep going

312

but like to set a timer for 10 minutes surely you

313

can do it for 10 fucking minutes the other thing i've

314

been saying to myself lately is can you not handle discomfort like looking at myself harshly

315

and being like oh you don't want to do it i

316

understand can you not handle the discomfort of doing it the way

317

that gets me off my fucking ass because it no key it is

318

that simple now to address the underlying issue of like why

319

do i constantly feel like i'm not capable of doing the

320

things i need to do is a whole separate conversation

321

but for the time being until i can figure that out and until i can

322

fix whatever the fuck needs fixing in

323

that realm the question of can you really not handle the discomfort of even trying even

324

if you fail even if you sit at that project

325

and stare at it for 10 minutes and then the timer goes off

326

and you go back to the couch like fuck just do it for 10 minutes try

327

and like that is something i've been holding myself to lately

328

and it's really been helping the other thing

329

that i have to tell you guys about is the loneliness aspect of being a useless lonely rat

330

so i'm so lonely guys i'm

331

so lonely now i love to be alone we all know this about me pretty lonesome and whatnot

332

but for the first time in a long time i'm really

333

lonely there is no one around me like i haven't really made friends in new york yet

334

which i'm okay with that but it is lonely like especially

335

because the weather's been nice lately

336

and like i haven't had Mai is in Tokyo by the way she is in Tokyo

337

and so I have no one to hang out with

338

because she was in fact my only friend here

339

and like I go out once a week and see people

340

but they're not like my friends if

341

that makes any sense I go to a mysterious thing every

342

Tuesday I don't want to talk about it I go to a secret club

343

so I get some human interaction and I do I leave the house I do I go on walks, I leave the house, I have things, I do things, okay?

344

I do stuff, but like, I don't really have like friends.

345

And that's okay because my meter for like how much interaction with friends that I need is like relatively low.

346

Like, I love being around people, but I can deal with a lot of alone time.

347

But this is the first time since June of last year that I have stayed still for this long.

348

Not kidding.

349

I there wasn't a time when I went at least four weeks without catching a flight

350

or going away from wherever I was living since June of last year.

351

And that exhausted me like that is a lot.

352

And I didn't really notice it until I did.

353

And then I really noticed it.

354

And I was like, I need to stay still.

355

So I planned my summer intentionally to stay still.

356

I reduced like anything

357

that I could avoid doing in order to let me stay

358

in New York for July through to the end of August

359

and a lot of June as well I did like I intentionally did

360

because I was like I need to feel like a human being

361

and I need to have some routine and some familiarity and I need to like establish myself here

362

but nice as that is I also hadn't been capable of like bed rotting

363

or like rotting in general or isolating myself in a really long time

364

because it literally wasn't an option because I was always on the move

365

and so this is the first time I've been still for long enough to fall back into

366

that habit of like spending a whole day doing fuck all

367

and not seeing anyone and then it gets to bedtime

368

and you're like i feel disgusting like i feel gross this is the this week

369

and like a bit of last week is the first time

370

that that has re-entered my life

371

and i hate it i hate it i hate it it's lonely

372

and so i want to now tell you if you're like me

373

and you either live alone or maybe you don't live with people

374

that you really with and you just feel lonely like you're all by yourself and you don't love it.

375

I have, I have something for you.

376

Okay, so you know what?

377

I am really starting to feel like my mother.

378

My mum plays solitaire every night.

379

Since I think I, before I was born, she has played solitaire on her fucking phone every night.

380

And like, if you talk to her during her solitaire, she gets very upset with you because she has to focus.

381

I don't, to this day, I don't really understand what solitaire is, but I found my own version of whatever she finds in

382

solitaire I have located in my own life now this is my iPad yes

383

and this is rummy cup

384

or rummy cube I don't know how to pronounce it can you see this

385

so basically if you I'm not gonna like explain the whole game it's boring

386

but you you go on play now and you get a bunch of tiles

387

and you have to get rid of all of your tiles

388

and there's like three other people in the game

389

and they'll put down their tiles and you can like rearrange their tiles but obviously there's certain rules about

390

what numbers can go with what numbers fuck now i'm fully in the game now i'm in the fucking game

391

and i have incredible cards

392

and i'm oh my god i have great cards guys i'm

393

gonna play rammy cube whilst we talk okay 10 11 12 see i've dropped into the game with 10

394

and 11 and 12 13 they gave me two jokers guys this never happens sorry pardon me

395

but this is like an insane drop anyway the reason i've been finding this game

396

so enticing is because not only am i extremely addicted to it

397

but fuck I can't even go on this route you know

398

what sorry guys I'm gonna leave the game I'm gonna focus sorry I love

399

that game you can't talk to the other players like there's no like chat

400

that you can like write into but it gives you like five

401

or something options of like pre-made things that you can say

402

which is like please make a move good game you can say wow you can say good luck

403

you say best game of my life anyway

404

when you join a game a lot of the time people will say good luck

405

and then you say thank you and then you can say there's one

406

that says thank you and then you can say good luck

407

and then there's like emotes that you can do and it's

408

so fun the sounds they make it so funny it's like

409

or like like guys it makes me laugh

410

because sometimes I'll fuck up a move and all my tiles will go back

411

and then you can make the noise that's like or

412

if someone else fucks up their move

413

and you know exactly what they did wrong

414

and like all their tiles go back you can go

415

and laugh guys i play this you know what let me

416

tell you how many hours i've played you can see so

417

if you go to your profile you can see games played

418

and 13 games played mind you i've only been not at

419

this for like two weeks games 155 that's actually not bad like that's not that bad

420

score is minus 972 total time played 24 34 39 39 hours

421

and 23 minutes i think is that's really bad but

422

so every night i come home from well i don't i usually am already home

423

but last night i came home but i'll tell you why

424

and i played this for fucking hours i have to tear myself away from this game

425

and go to bed on time where was i last night

426

because i casually dropped in

427

that i was out last like came over to play rummy

428

cube rummy cub whatever the fuck oh well i was just

429

at therapy i finally found one i found one now do

430

i have any idea what her qualifications are no did she

431

lead me into a basement for the session yes she did

432

but is she an available therapist in my local area who

433

is willing to treat me yes she is yes she is yes she is

434

and i love her for that i found it

435

so hard to find a therapist with times

436

that worked with willing to be flexible with online versus in

437

person who also didn't sound completely fucking insane in their bio

438

i must have reached out to her for a reason

439

so she must have i genuinely don't know but

440

but i love her i love her big breath of relief for everyone

441

that i'm back in therapy big breath of relief for me but this is

442

this is my first time going to therapy as like a

443

real grown-up yeah that's generous a real adult like the last

444

time I was in therapy I think I was like 22

445

and like every time in my life before

446

because I've been in therapy they chucked me into my first therapy session

447

when I was about roughly four years old like I've been doing this

448

and for my whole childhood I hated it

449

because I was too shy to tell them anything

450

and I thought they were all stupid and annoying

451

and I think I might have and write in

452

that judgment to be completely honest with you I just always felt like it was

453

so patronizing maybe that was me projecting because I felt stupid

454

but I always as a kid I had this big issue

455

and I still have this big issue which I'm relearning recently about being

456

singled out or the odd one out like I always was like had this conviction that I was

457

stupider than everyone else and had needs that everyone else didn't have

458

and I think that's genuinely because I was always in therapy

459

and like it was like the secretive thing I would get pulled out of class to go see the counselor

460

or like I would have to go somewhere after school

461

and like I was aware no one else was fucking going to this place after school

462

and like it was just so such a humiliation ritual for my entire fucking childhood anyway

463

so I never loved therapy I grew up

464

and I found a therapist I loved

465

when I was like 21 22 I didn't see him for that long so I couldn't afford but he was the best.

466

And I no longer think of therapy as like something

467

that I'm embarrassed to do by any means my relationship to it has changed a lot

468

but before when I was in therapy all

469

that time it was always to do with my phobia

470

and my anxiety and my panic attack

471

so I always went in like I have this problem

472

that is so embedded in me and I need to get rid of it

473

because it's ruining my life it was never

474

so much like I have a host of life circumstances that I need to work through or like

475

there's just things actively going on around me

476

that I don't know what to do with or have the tools to deal with.

477

Like it's never been like life therapy.

478

It's always been this one focused point that I need them to help me with.

479

And this is the first time where I've gone to a therapist and just been like, I don't have a specific thing to talk to you about.

480

I have like five things that I need to talk to someone about like

481

because I don't know what to do with them help me please

482

and it was also my first experience going to therapy where

483

I talk about myself rather than talk about just one part of myself

484

and so yesterday was my first session and I walked to the session

485

because it felt right I actually borderline jogged to the session oh my god

486

so embarrassing I discovered

487

that Gracie Abrams had released a like studio version like a track of Death Wish

488

which I've long since loved that song

489

but it was only like the live version that was out

490

or something like that and I didn't know

491

that it was on the new album

492

because I've just been behind lately on my pop culture forgive

493

me I discovered it like five minutes before the session

494

and I was like well five minutes I discovered

495

that she had done that like five minutes before I had to go

496

so I put it on repeat put my airpods in

497

and I strode to therapy but then

498

when I got there my airpods betrayed me oh my god

499

because I I pulled them out she met me in the lobby

500

and I like pulled my airpods out to greet her

501

and they've never done this before where it just immediately starts

502

then to play out loud on my phone like that's like a mechanism against

503

that I swear it started to play out loud on my phone

504

so within the first five seconds of meeting my new therapist

505

death wish by Gracie Abrams just starts blaring out the speakers of my phone that was so fucking humiliating

506

fuck you Gracie Abrams just kidding but like oh I was oh sorry sorry

507

so sorry sorry and then she's like how are you I was good good good good I'm

508

so good I'm great anyway that was really embarrassing

509

so then we sit down and we talk we get talking

510

and it felt so fucking weird to just be telling someone all my shit

511

and I didn't realize

512

that I have a script I have a script about my

513

life a lot of people ask me about my life right

514

as as do they ask everyone about like what do you do for work

515

when did you move to the city where do you live

516

what what do you I don't like general questions right

517

and I have such a script because they're the commonly asked questions of life

518

and I also guess there's an added layer for me of just like guarding certain pieces of information

519

when speaking to new people if I don't want them to immediately know what I do for work.

520

I hate when people know what I do for work

521

because then they can go and watch what I do for work if they were sinister enough to want to.

522

Which I don't think is fair.

523

Unless you have an equal amount of internet archive of yourself that I can indulge in,

524

there's no good reason why this person I just met should get to go home

525

and watch up to a thousand hours of me talking shit online

526

and form the most absurd perception i'm not saying people do this

527

but people do this guys that

528

when i find out one of my friends watches this podcast what the fuck are you doing if and

529

if you're here right now get off get off get away

530

like it's not fair unless i get unless you're gonna send

531

me an hour of you talking to yourself something about this

532

doesn't feel fair it doesn't feel fair it really doesn't and

533

and don't you dare ask me questions about it don't like

534

it's private it's secret you're watching it's secret it's not for

535

you it's literally not for you I don't know how else to explain it anyway

536

so I don't like people knowing what I do especially

537

if it's like a new person that I'm gonna see a lot

538

which I have been dealing with a lot of that recently

539

because of these mysterious meetings that I've been going to so I like have kind of I guess just developed

540

a way of talking about myself that is

541

so vague you think what do you do for work marketing

542

i do social media what for who brands i work for

543

brands that's how i make my money as i work for

544

brands on with their social medias what do you do for work shut up like there's ways there are ways

545

and i have discovered them to never allow someone to figure out that i

546

have a fucking podcast like my god now it's not always

547

that important to me that people don't know I really don't actually hear

548

that much at the end of the day

549

but it's not something I try

550

and drop into the first fucking conversation it's really not unless I want to

551

but sometimes I just don't sometimes I just want to not

552

be a freak a fucking spectacle okay sometimes I meet a group of new people

553

and I just don't want to be a bitch with a fucking podcast in a TikTok account

554

please like i i just want to be like yes i

555

don't i don't know what it is like i hate it

556

it's not a shame thing it's more just like let me not be

557

that for a second not that i hate being

558

that it's just like do you know what i mean could you relate me anyways

559

so yeah and i realized oh my god i i'm

560

so firm on my scripting with myself

561

that i didn't even know i really had this much that i was having to break script.

562

It was like the weirdest thing ever.

563

So she'd be like, and what do you do for work?

564

And I'd be like, social media.

565

And she'd be like, what does that mean?

566

I was like, oh my God.

567

Yeah, no. So like, this is what I do.

568

Like, it's like I have a podcast, I have TikTok, I have agents, I have lawyers.

569

It's really scary.

570

I'm so scared all the time.

571

Like I, yeah, like so many people watching me inside of my head that I can't even think private thoughts anymore.

572

And she was like, oh, okay.

573

So what do you nothing nothing I'm unemployed so loved it

574

because sometimes I'm a fucking idiot you guys make me laugh

575

when you're like I just see myself referred to a lot

576

by people as for lack of bear wedding emotionally intelligent

577

or like articulate on how I feel and think

578

and those things are very important to me

579

and I don't disagree all the time but why could this therapist

580

so I walked her through one of the things I've been tackling lately

581

and we talked about it for maybe like half an hour

582

and she was like it feels like there's there's a layer of like frustration in this for you

583

that you haven't mentioned but like

584

because I had just talked about this thing very logistically like

585

very factually like what's the solution what happened what's everyone's intentions

586

or where everyone's into you know like what's physically going on

587

and she was like you know it sounds like there's also like a level of frustration

588

because maybe it feels like this is happening you know

589

and I was like spot on yeah I never realized

590

that like I knew I was annoyed but when she

591

when she put it so gently she's like sounds like you're frustrated as well

592

because of maybe this and I was like oh genius it's

593

so helpful I love therapy super good super good it why is it getting

594

so dark it's getting super dark in here damn I've been

595

yapping for like 43 minutes already okay you know what i'm i'm just gonna walk you through something real quick

596

because i want to okay show

597

and tell i just want to show you i want to

598

show you all my stuff okay guys guys guys guys guys

599

guys guys guys guys guys you know hold on okay okay

600

this i'm gonna walk you through my journaling ecosystem do you care don't care don't care don't care

601

if you don't i'm gonna do it so guess what you know

602

that trend that's been going around where it's like five things

603

that are are really worth your money they're great okay

604

and i tried last week to give my five things

605

that are worth the money do i feel passionately

606

that any of them are worth the money no not really like genuinely no

607

and i'll tell you what is worth the fucking money good

608

kitchen roll okay the fancy kitchen roll it genuinely makes a difference like the amount of shit

609

when i have shitty kitchen roll right now i have used like three rolls in like two days

610

because i'm an absolute monster the way I behave around kitchen

611

roll it is should be genuinely a crime like just get

612

a spongy freak I have a sponge too I'm just greedy

613

and lazy to add on to my lovely what are they adjectives about myself fuck knows

614

but but hey maybe

615

that makes me a vermin damage to property yeah yeah anyway why was I saying

616

that oh yeah get the good kitchen roll it is

617

so much it lasts so much longer you need so much less

618

and it rips properly because don't get me started

619

when it fucking leaves the last corner oh god

620

so like I genuinely think you end up spending less

621

because it lasts that much longer you know I mean anyway journaling ecosystem okay

622

so this is irrelevant it's going over there to start I'll oh wait I'm missing a thing okay

623

so to start journaling ecosystem this is what I

624

journal in pretty much every day of my life it is

625

a moleskin again I don't know what size I love these I'm going to cover up my personal information

626

but I always like to decorate like I stick little things

627

and I have washi tape and some wrapping from a store

628

that like wrapped up what I bought it's cute makes it makes it makes you excited to use it

629

and a little sticker on the front so that's my like diary

630

if you will so that's thing number one now thing number two is I know that the Louise Carmen trend is rife.

631

I don't want a Louise Carmen.

632

Are they beautiful?

633

Yes.

634

Do I want one?

635

Yes.

636

But there's something in me that knows I shouldn't have one.

637

And I can't explain it, but it's like, I like not over-investing in hobbies that I actually enjoy,

638

like writing, because it feels more real to me the cheaper I can do it for.

639

Like, I really enjoy this just because I enjoy it not

640

because I have a I can't explain this my dad has owned like three sweaters since I was born

641

and he has like one pair of slippers

642

that he refuses to get rid of whatever

643

that bone is that's in the dad body I have it like

644

and I know I I consume a lot

645

and like I just bought this table

646

and I just bought everything you see around me like I

647

had to buy like I'm not the under consumption queen

648

that my dad is but when it comes to what I need and consume

649

on the day to day I don't enjoy overindulging does

650

that make any sense I don't I don't I get a

651

kick out of using things in the most bare bones way possible

652

and with journaling that's how I feel I don't know

653

but I did get a filofax

654

because it's kind of like a Louise Carmen in the sense

655

that the paper is replaceable and the cover is forever I wanted something

656

that like with these I cycle through them so quickly

657

and with old journals like this you're going to cycle through them

658

so quickly and I like the idea of something becoming worn

659

and traveling with me throughout a long period of time

660

and therefore you're going to need something with a replaceable insert system otherwise once you fill it up it's done

661

so I invested in one of these the paper is held in by ring binders

662

so you just need you can make your own paper

663

and then if you have a hole puncher you just punch the holes

664

or you can buy the paper from filofax

665

or like from fucking amazon like there's so many versions

666

and it has like you can put things like this in

667

like a this is like a pocket to hold stuff at the back there is a pocket

668

and in the pocket i have pictures of me and millie

669

and then a picture of my grand mommy grandma in the

670

back down you goes there you go okay has a built-in pen holder love and on the

671

front side it has kind of like a wallet system I have some art in here

672

that my cousin drew me

673

and then on the front I just made this cute little thank you I thought it was pretty

674

so this is actually pretty much filled up

675

and I need to take the paper out I love it

676

it is a bit bulky I will say it's a bit

677

bulky the idea of it was for me to be able to travel around day to day with something

678

that I love with smaller paper in it for thoughts and to-do lists and whatever.

679

It's a bit bulky for that I will say.

680

The reason I wanted something that I could carry around is because this is too personal.

681

I don't want it to leave the house really

682

and I use it to write about my day

683

or about how I'm feeling not like quick notes and stuff

684

but this I could use for quick notes and whatever I wanted

685

but it's a bit bulky i will i will admit

686

but i do love her i do love her

687

so i need to use it more i need to get

688

some new paper for it is what i need to do

689

because it's fucking full so to replace that whilst it's not been like in circulation of my life, I've been throwing this.

690

This is Licht.

691

And it is just plain.

692

And it is my on the go note taking system.

693

This is my to do list book slash work notebook,

694

mostly to stay at home and to create an archive of all my to do lists.

695

because I like making archives.

696

I think it's inspiring and fun.

697

The other thing, a stack of fucking sticky notes.

698

I always have like two pads of these on rotation around my house.

699

And then what I do is I, throughout the day, I will have thoughts or feelings that I could sit down and journal about, but I have no fucking time to do that.

700

And it's not, it's not the time and place.

701

So I will scribble it down on a sticky note, stick the sticky note in or on my journal in

702

and I'll come back to it later work notes thoughts scribbling

703

during meetings I fucking shopping list stick it on the fridge

704

like you can probably see there's a bunch of them on the fridge behind me like sticky notes

705

and me oh my god there's one on the back of

706

my computer too I don't even know what it says what does it say check check leave files in place

707

and proxies are on it's an editing note myself genius love sticky notes then i have this

708

which is a workbook of sorts i take it to my meeting

709

that i go to this is a plain like binder for a4 paper

710

and i use it for my language class and so i use just plain paper or whatever paper I have,

711

have a hole puncher, punch some holes in the paper, put it in here.

712

I write in like scribbly notes during my classes and then after my classes I sit down, I rewrite all my notes in a way that is pretty

713

and makes sense and then I can look back over

714

and then get rid of the class notes

715

and put the new notes in here so that I can refer back to them.

716

This is a small pencil case from Muji.

717

It is mesh, it is see-through.

718

I'm fucking in love with this pencil case.

719

Don't know what it is about this.

720

I love it.

721

Always in my bag and it has everything I need throughout the day

722

and then I have way more stuff just staying at home.

723

Like I have crayons, I have colored pencils, I have way more pens and pencil options but like this is full of everything I need to go out with.

724

Also in here is eye contact, contact refresh serum which I always take with me in here because then I always have it with me.

725

It's genius.

726

I also have a little aquaphor in here

727

because I always fucking want one of those with me

728

and then what else have we got in here we got

729

a bunch of bullshit we've got pens of all different sorts

730

uh pencil from the moma pencil from the twa hotel at jfk

731

when i missed my flight and had to stay the night

732

that sucked but i got a free pencil classic bic pen for

733

when you need to write really fast you need a ballpoint fucking pen bitch everything else is beautiful

734

but when someone's talking at the speed of light

735

and you're trying to take notes you need one of bees

736

this pen actually i love how it rises from hotel principe de sovia in milan the place i always stay

737

when i go for milan fashion week with gucci

738

and it is one of the best pens in the fucking world it's a ballpoint

739

but it's broken and so

740

if you press with any pressure the ballpoint it like retracts

741

i'm gonna steal another one whenever i'm next in milan gucci please invite me back to your next show

742

because i need to steal another pen from this hotel

743

that i otherwise would never stay at so will not

744

and would never stay out like it's not nice would

745

that like it's expensive it's so expensive

746

so please can I come back please thank you I need another pen

747

and then one of my favorite pens from Muji it's a three colored ballpoint don't really give a fuck

748

that it's three colored although that's sometimes useful I mostly just want the black

749

and the blue it's just the nicest ballpoint ever

750

and it's in this like triangular shape which is

751

so comfortable to hold my handwriting always looks really neat

752

when I write with this pen

753

when I write with this pen my handwriting is really messy

754

and I actually don't really like this pen

755

and just trying to finish it that's another thing I do

756

is I love finishing pens at uni I would exclusively use these

757

because number one they were cheap accessible and I love

758

that you can fully see the ink on the inside

759

and you can write really fast with them they're just good like they're decent pens for working

760

and what I would do is

761

it was like one of the only ways I could derive any level of dopamine

762

or serotonin from any part of my life was to watch

763

as the pen became more empty from all the notes I would take

764

and then because I did all my uni work by fucking hand

765

which probably was completely the wrong thing to be doing

766

but I decided at some point that things only go into my brain

767

if I write them with my hand

768

so I like wrote everything by like I probably could have worked in a more efficient way but

769

I would then stick the empty pen on my wall so

770

and I just had a bunch of them with blue tack stuck above my desk

771

and that was something I enjoyed I think I still have the empty pen somewhere

772

but I don't know love this one is also from Muji

773

and the highlighting tip is see-through in the middle so

774

that you can see what the fuck you're highlighting which genius

775

and then what is this this is another pen from Hotel

776

Balzac Balzac oh my god there's such a nice hotel I

777

stayed there in Paris I think I'm actually gonna not have

778

that in my pencil case anymore because it's too long

779

and it was causing issues

780

and then I have a little tiny little pencil sharpener don't

781

know why they ever make bigger ones just this is like the best pencil sharpener in the world

782

and that is my pencil case

783

and then I also just got these the other day

784

which actually I really am feeling bad about I'm gonna show you now

785

but like just know that I'm already feeling a bit guilty about the whole thing

786

so please don't make me feel worse or do

787

but I got I've been wanting a mechanical pencil for a

788

really long time I've never wanted a mechanical pencil in my

789

life I quite enjoy the experience of sharpening a pencil

790

and I enjoy that once you finish a pencil you get the satisfaction of it being small

791

and that there's no waste like almost no waste right we don't need to wrap a pencil

792

and plastic hey idea it's not necessary unless there's something

793

that you're doing that is so important that your pencil is always sharp

794

which there are jobs like that mine simply isn't one of them

795

so why would I get a fucking mechanical pencil you know then I saw this one mechanical pencil

796

and I can't remember who made it someone's gonna know what I'm talking about though it's a mechanical pencil

797

that rotates the nib like a bajillion times a second

798

so as you write you're constantly using all of the edges of the lead

799

so you never have the issue where one side is sharp and one side is dull.

800

It's always completely equal and obviously then the lead is replaceable so you just get one pen, one of the pen bit and a bunch of lead

801

and you just have the most perfect pencils for the rest of your life.

802

I want that.

803

Why did I buy this shitty Bic mechanical pencil?

804

Because I'm greedy there's no other reason for it I was at staples

805

and I was like oh my god mechanical pencils I've been

806

wanting a mechanical pencil kind of forgot why I had wanted a mechanical pencil in the first place

807

which was because of the amazing mechanical pencil that I had seen

808

and just bought this and and and for what you know

809

and for fucking what

810

so I feel bad feel bad there you go sometimes that's

811

life we make mistakes this is my favorite pen of all

812

time This is the Muji Smooth Gel Ink Ballpoint Pen Noctite 0.5 Black.

813

This pen and me are locked in.

814

You can't write fast with it because it's like if you're at a slant, if you're like me and if you're writing fast, you're at a slant, it's not gonna be good.

815

Like it does that feeling thing on the paper where it's gross.

816

You need a big ballpoint if you need to write fast.

817

But this is beautiful.

818

and I use it for my journaling and I use it whenever I can because I think it's gorgeous.

819

Let me show you.

820

Actually I can't be bothered to show you.

821

I'll just write on this.

822

This is a horrible example of the pen but there you go.

823

Okay well that's the most useless episode in the world.

824

Oh my god wait there's two more there's two more things sorry.

825

Wait oh my god that's my passport.

826

The fuck?

827

Okay so this this I've lost the clip that I used to use.

828

I used to have one of those metal clips on the top

829

because it doesn't close by itself

830

which is annoying i've spoken about this before on tiktok i

831

think it is a diary like a planner diary now i fell behind on using this

832

so i don't want to talk about that

833

but say you're in november it's a day of the week

834

so monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday side sunday the corners rip off like this

835

so that look if we go to to where I stopped using it, which is March to April,

836

you can rip all the corners off so that you can flip more easily to the page that you're on.

837

Now, is that not fucking genius?

838

And it's gorgeous.

839

And it has a map.

840

This is Love London, but it has a tube map because I got this in the UK.

841

It's WH Smith branded, if you're interested.

842

And it has a little wallet at the front, 2026.

843

I just think it's so chic.

844

I just think it's the most chic thing in the whole world.

845

And I'm really upset with myself for not having made more use of this

846

but shit got really busy and I went back to Google Calendar

847

but I will maybe restart using this

848

because this was really good for keeping myself on track

849

and it's just an easier way to see what's going on I think like I get confused

850

when I look at a fucking there's no digital calendar

851

that I've ever found that I like I just put up with it

852

and the other thing is that I have this the red version of this from Staples

853

this is for morning pages for me and

854

if you don't know what morning pages are they are three pages

855

that you write messily in the morning first thing

856

when you wake up if you can and it is like a brain dump

857

and you will be

858

so surprised at what comes out of your brain first thing in the morning it is nothing like you think

859

and it feels so good like it feels like it wouldn't feel good it feels

860

so good and it in it made me enact

861

so much change in my life when I first started doing morning pages

862

because there is only so many times you can repeat yourself about what's bothering you

863

or what you need to do or what you don't want to do

864

or what's making you angry before you are like oh my god let me just fucking go

865

and fix this because I it makes you

866

so much more self-aware like you can be self-aware

867

but then there's there's this other level to like where you're like oh my god like

868

stop it like stop like we're gonna change it's good for

869

changing it's also good for becoming more aware it's good for getting it out like your brain is

870

so interesting in the morning and I don't think you discover the extent of

871

that until you put pen to paper like it is

872

so eye opening to like I am not an angry person

873

right I've said this before like I can be angry

874

but I wouldn't say it's a very common state for me to be in

875

and I usually only experience anger around the time

876

that something is happening that should be making me angry or

877

or might realistically make a person angry you know like I

878

don't feel like it's my something I go to very often anyway turns out in the morning

879

when I'm talking about things

880

that have been bothering me for some time I very easily become angry

881

and I I think

882

that getting it out onto the paper number one made me aware of it

883

and I wasn't aware of it before

884

and number two it's like before you've made any excuses for the day

885

when you're in your most like human being state before your

886

phone before you've spoken to anyone like it's really just you

887

and you it allows so much honesty and

888

so much less protectiveness of yourself because you're barely functioning like there's something

889

so magical about it highly recommend doing morning pages you can look them up if

890

that was a shit explanation of what to do three pages

891

by shorthand first thing in the morning no objective just write put your pen on the paper

892

and see what comes out and

893

if you have to start by saying I don't know what to say say that it changed my life.

894

This is a lot smaller.

895

I used to do them in A4, the morning pages, and I actually found that easier because I would just write massive and sloppily.

896

This is going to make it a bit harder, but I'm hoping it's going to keep me a bit more accountable

897

because it's smaller and I can travel with it because I've really struggled to stay consistent with morning pages.

898

Anyway, bitches, I'm done.

899

I'm going to shut the fuck up.

900

It's raining and I'm about to go out.

901

I'm going out in the next...

902

I need to text someone to figure out what time I'm going, actually.

903

I love you guys I hope that you have a splendid week I hope

904

that your day is going well I hope

905

that everything is okay in your lives and beyond

906

and thank you for watching this week's episode of Pretty Lonesome

907

I love you very much let me know let me know

908

how we feel about the new setup I can go back

909

to the couch it's not an issue we can stay here

910

I can I could clean up behind me before I sit down for an episode

911

that might be nice sorry about that

912

but love you have a good day night week I love you so much okay okay bye bye

Скачать приложение

Всё для свободной речи

ИИ-оценка произношенияОценка каждой фразы

Практика IPAОсвойте каждый звук

СловарьСоберите свой словарный запас

Игра со словамиУчитесь играя

Сканировать QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Тот же канал

FOR YOU

Контекст и фон диалога

Видео представляет собой разговорный выпуск подкаста, где спикер делится личными историями и размышлениями, смешивая легкий юмор с научными фактами (например, о классификации грызунов и зайцев). Такая речь отличается естественной интонацией, быстрыми переключениями тем и разговорными выражениями, что делает её отличным материалом для практики разговорного английского и улучшения восприятия живой речи.

5 ключевых фраз для повседневной коммуникации

"Testing, testing" — проверка микрофона или связи, используемая в повседневных ситуациях (например, при звонках или презентациях).
"Jump straight in" — начать без лишних слов, быстро перейти к делу ("Давайте сразу начнём").
"Rough luck" — сочувствие из-за неудачи или неприятности ("Жаль, но ничего не поделаешь").
"Moving swiftly on" — быстро переключиться на другую тему ("Давайте перейдём дальше").
"Reeked" — сильно пахло плохо (информальное, но часто используемое слово: "Квартира пахла грязью").

Пошаговое руководство по shadowing для этого видео

Чтобы эффективно использовать это видео для улучшения произношения английского с помощью shadowspeak, следуйте этим шагам:

Посмотрите видео целиком — запомните общую интонацию и темп речи спикера.
Извлеките короткие фрагменты (5-10 секунд) — фразы с быстрыми переключениями или разговорными выражениями (например, "Testing, testing" или "Moving swiftly on").
Повторяйте за спикером сразу после него — старайтесь копировать интонацию, ударения и паузы. Это поможет развить чувство ритма речи.
Запишите себя — сравните свою речь с оригиналом, чтобы заметить различия в произношении звуков (например, "vermin" или "lagomorpha").
Повторяйте каждый фрагмент 5-7 раз — до тех пор, пока речь не станет естественной и безошибочной.

Такая практика поможет вам адаптироваться к живой разговорной речи и улучшить навыки коммуникации. И помните: учить английский с YouTube — это удобно и эффективно, особенно с использованием техники shadowing.

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Present Perfect Continuous have/has been + -ing — действие началось раньше и продолжается	I've just been letting · I've been dealing · haven't really been doing
«Used to» used to + глагол — прошлая привычка или состояние, которых больше нет	used to have · used to do
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	I've had · has never been · I've made
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	can be medicated · be delivered · was drunk

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

Практика Shadowing: How to Cope as a Useless Lonely Rat // EP 108 - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

Выберите режим практики

Скачать приложение

Тот же канал

Navigating Friendships, Sexuality and Jealousy // EP 5 - Pretty Lonesome

Yapping again // EP 39 - Pretty Lonesome with Madeline Argy

get ready with me to shoot my Samsøe Samsøe collection !!!

why i'm not scared of being perceived anymore // EP 110

making female friendships? // EP 109

the power of choice // EP 100

thoughts on sex // EP 78

Рекомендуемое видео

The Secret History of the Rabbit

English With Series Ted Lasso | Idioms, Expressions, Vocab

Ratatouille (2007) opening scene (part 1)

Guess My Phobia | Lineup | Cut

Control Your Mind Before It Destroys Your Life | Monk And Cat Story |

This Channel TRAUMATIZE Uncle Roger (HowToBasic)

English in a Minute: Pack Rat

The Ethics of Zoos: A Keeper and an Activist

Animal Facts YOU Didn’t Know!

피곤한 날 집밥 해먹기 vs. 배달시키기 | 영국영어 팟캐스트 This or That ep07 Cooking at home vs. Ordering takeaway

“I’m Addicted to being a Furry”

This Is How I Reduced My Screen Time (I Made a Dopamine Menu)

Контекст и фон диалога

5 ключевых фраз для повседневной коммуникации

Пошаговое руководство по shadowing для этого видео

Грамматика в этом видео

Что такое техника Shadowing?