Shadowing Practice: How NOT to Let Your Past Control Your Future - Learn English Speaking with Video
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What if the biggest thing standing between you and the life that you want isn't your discipline, it isn't your circumstances, or even your ability?
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What if it's the life that doesn't even exist anymore?
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Most people don't realize how much their future is being dictated by experiences that happened 5, 10, even 20 years ago.
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An old failure decides which risks that you take, an old betrayal decides who you trust, an old version of you decides what you believe and what you're capable of today.
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And if you don't learn how to break that cycle, you can spend the rest of your life unconsciously recreating the past that you're desperately trying to escape.
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So this episode is how to finally stop.
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Here's the thing that you need to understand.
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Modern neuroscience increasingly looks at the brain as a prediction machine.
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Carl Fristen, who is one of the most cited neuroscientists alive built an entire framework around this idea.
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Your brain is not just sitting there waiting for reality to happen.
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It is constantly generating a guess about what is about to happen and then checking reality against that guess that it has.
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So like in plain language, here's what that means.
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Your brain is always answering one question, what happens next?
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And then it makes a guess and then it's trying to prove that guess true.
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Here's the problem though.
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What is the only material that it has to build that guess out of?
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It's your past.
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That's it.
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That's all it's got.
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So if somebody betrayed you in the past, your brain doesn't file that away as just history.
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It files it as evidence that this is what happens.
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And so the next time that somebody gets close to you, your brain runs a model and goes, okay, I know how this entire thing is going to end based off of what's happened to us before.
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And now you're not responding to the person who's right in front of your face.
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You're responding to a prediction
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that your brain is creating based off of your past from somebody who might not even be in your life anymore.
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If you really get this, this can change the entire course of your life.
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Your brain isn't showing you your past.
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It's using your past to write and predict your future.
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Holy, do you get that?
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This is why it's so important to separate yourself from your thoughts.
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Because a lot of times, your thoughts are just automatic.
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And if they're automatic, that means that they're coming from your past.
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And so you can't get caught up in these thoughts and, oh, I'm always so negative.
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This is just the way that I am.
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No, no, no. We're not trying to recreate our past here.
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That's not what we're trying to do.
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We're trying to change so that our future can be different from our past.
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And if we don't sit down and actually be diligent on it, we will always default to this pattern.
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And so for me, like I did this for years when I was younger, before I get into self-development, started working on myself, I didn't even know that I was doing it.
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I could tell you how I was a victim in my life,
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in my entire past and everything that summarized my victimhood in like three minutes.
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every hard thing that I had been through, all of the bad stuff, all of the losses, every reason why I was the way that I was.
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It was like I had said it so many times.
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It was basically like it was rehearsed.
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Like I could probably have delivered a TED talk on how much of a victim I was, right?
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Like that's how I used to be.
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And we will be right back.
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Hey, real quick.
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If you're someone who sets a goal, gets really fired up for a couple of weeks, and then somehow ends up right back with the same habits that you swore that you were done with,
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this is for you.
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Listen to me for just a second.
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It's not because you're lazy.
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It's not because you don't have enough discipline.
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It's because you're trying to create a new life with the same identity that you've always had.
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So you have to understand you will always act in alignment with who you believe that you are.
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So if deep down you see yourself as somebody who quits, someone who never follows through, someone who always falls back into the same old patterns,
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then you will keep proving that story true over and over again.
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And until you change that old identity underneath it, nothing will change.
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That's why on August 27th, I'm hosting a completely free live workshop where I'm gonna show you how to identify the patterns
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that have been controlling your decisions without you even realizing it, how to break those patterns, and then how to shift your identity so that the actions
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that you want to take finally match the life that you say that you want.
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So if you're ready for change and you don't want to stay the old version of you,
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go to 2026workshop.com right now or scan the QR code that's right here to save your free spot for August 27th.
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So go ahead, save your seat, and I'll see you there.
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And now back to the show.
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People think like I've always been positive.
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No, dude, like I had to work on myself.
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My brain was defaulting to focus on the bad from my past.
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And the reason why I was doing this, and I understand now, is so it could protect me from the bad in the future.
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So it takes the bad from the past, it throws it into the future, makes a prediction of it, makes us place smaller in our life than we should,
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so that therefore we don't get hurt again, or we don't get injured again.
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We don't have to go through that pain that we went through in our past.
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but like if you had gone back to that version of me
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when I was younger that was such a victim
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and asked like hey tell me about who you want to
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become I could not have given you five sentences I could
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give you a TED talk on how I was a victim
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I couldn't even tell you what I wanted for my life for what I was trying to build
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and like once I started working on myself I really realized
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like I was fluent in my past I was fluent in being a victim and I was like completely illiterate
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in my future.
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And now I've been coaching people for about 20 years now.
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And I can tell you the pattern that I see over and over and over again,
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is that the people whose lives change are not the people who have like the easiest pass.
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Like a lot of times they're actually the hardest pass, but they are the people who actually stopped making their past,
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their main character stopped focusing on their past so much because they were trying to get away from it.
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Because whatever you focus on, you're going to get more of.
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So if you focus on your past all the time, guess what your brain is going to build for you?
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More of whatever happened to you in your past, right?
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So let's talk about how to actually stop this.
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The first thing you need to do is you need to catch the time travel.
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Our brain is always time traveling.
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You cannot change something if you don't notice it.
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So we need to become aware of this thing.
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So the next time, like let's say for the next week, right?
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I don't want you to change anything in your life.
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I don't want you to try to change.
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For the next week, I just want you to catch yourself going back to the past.
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Because your mind is almost never here in the present moment.
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It's either in the past or it's in a future model built out of the past.
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And so there's many, many, many moments throughout a day where this happens, where your default mode just kicks in.
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So when you catch yourself defaulting and going back to your past or your problems or your victimhood When you catch it, don't fight it.
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Don't judge it.
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Don't do anything about it for the next week.
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Just notice it Right become aware of it.
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Oh Hmm.
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Look at that.
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It looks like i'm time traveling right now I'm, not even here But just notice it because you cannot change something that you're unaware of.
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Okay The second thing you want to do is you want to start changing the question that you're feeding it
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So your brain, you've heard me say this before, is basically like a search engine.
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Whatever you type into the search engine, it's gonna go and find evidence for.
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Your brain is gonna do the exact same thing.
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The problem is, is that most people are typing in past tense questions all day long.
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So they're saying stuff like, why does this always happen to me?
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And then their brain is like Google and it's gonna go find all of the answers why this always happens to me.
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And then they ask, why do I always act like this?
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Then your brain is going to go back
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and find all of the times in the past and the problems and all the stuff where you acted like that.
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It's going to find what you're looking for.
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People ask, why do people always treat me this way?
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And then it's going to find all of it.
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And the more evidence that it finds because your questions suck, the more you're actually going to get deeper and deeper into these patterns
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and it's going to be harder to get out of them.
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And so your brain goes, huh, great question.
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Let me go ahead and pull up the archives.
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It will find you the answer.
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I promise you this, any question that you ask yourself, your brain is going to type all of that in and it's going to answer that question every single time.
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It'll find you usually 15 answers.
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And now look at that.
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You just turned yourself into a victim again.
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And now you're living in a victim mindset.
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So your question determines the search.
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So what do we need to do?
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We need to change the question.
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So instead of asking like, why does this always happen to me?
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You ask yourself a question like, what am I supposed to learn from this?
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You see, it's like, it's the same circumstance that you're currently in right now, but it's two completely different things.
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Why does this always happen to me?
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You're going to find all of the answers why it happens to you.
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And it's going to make you more stuck.
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What am I supposed to learn from this?
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It's going to go in.
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It's going to actually start to challenge your brain to find what you're supposed to learn from it so you can grow.
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Same circumstance, completely different paths in life.
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And so instead of asking a question like, why am I always like this?
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You ask, how can I change?
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Why am I always like this?
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It's going to keep you stuck.
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How can I change?
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It's going to free you.
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It's the same brain.
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It's the same circumstance.
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It's the same searching power.
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It's just a completely different direction that you go from the current moment.
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And like, I want to be clear, like I'm not talking about like just positive thinking.
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I'm not asking you to lie to yourself.
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I'm telling you, your brain is going to be searching either way.
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You're not going to be able to stop your brain from searching.
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You might as well point it somewhere useful.
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Like remember this, there's a reason why there's something called the negativity bias in psychology.
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And it's because your brain will almost always default to the negative.
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It's a protection mechanism built into us hundreds of thousands of years ago, but we're not hunter-gatherers anymore.
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So if you're going to change your life, you need to start changing your questions.
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The third thing you need to do, you need to give your brain new evidence.
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What most people get wrong about changing is they think in order to change their way and move into a new identity, identity is just built out of thoughts.
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No, your identity is not built out of just thoughts.
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It's more than anything else.
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It's built out of evidence.
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It has a case file in your brain that it has been assembling about you your entire life.
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And right now, every piece of evidence in that file comes from your past.
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So yeah, of course, your brain predicts the same future because that's the only file that it's got.
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And so your job today is not to just like think differently or to feel differently.
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Your job is to hand your brain
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at least one piece of evidence that doesn't match the old file by doing something that you normally wouldn't do, by doing something outside of your comfort zone,
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by doing something that the version of you that you want to become would actually do.
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So that might be like a phone call that you've been avoiding.
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It might be a workout when you don't feel like it.
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It might be a post that you've been sitting on and avoiding for six months.
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And it has to be done today because the past has 10,000 day of like head start of evidence on you.
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You're not going to beat it with one day.
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That's fine.
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And so you're only going to beat your old identity the same way that it got built, one piece of evidence at a time.
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And so every time you do something different, your brain goes, huh, well, that's new.
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Like, all right, let me update the file on him.
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And you do it over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
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And your old identity has no choice but to update itself because it is built on evidence
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and you are giving it new evidence as much as you possibly can, okay?
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And then number four is I want you to rehearse forward as much as you rehearse backwards right now.
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Like you are already excellent at mental rehearsal, whether you realize it or not.
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I need you to understand that you're probably elite at it.
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Like you can replay a conversation from 2009 in HD with the lighting and with the smell of the room, with what they were wearing.
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And that's not like a flaw.
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That's just a skill of being a human.
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You've just been pointing that brain of yours at the wrong direction.
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You've been focusing too much in the past.
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And so in the normal 20 minutes that you'd spend replaying your past, I want you to spend it pre-living instead.
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And be specific about the future you're creating because vague doesn't work.
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Think about the future that you want in vivid detail.
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Don't just think like, oh, I want to be successful.
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Where do you want to wake up?
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What does the room look like?
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What's the first thing that you do?
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How do you handle something that used to wreck you?
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What's your body doing?
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What's it look like?
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Who are you when no one's watching?
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You should be living in your future and what you're creating more than you're living in your past.
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Your future is way more exciting.
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Like you should be thinking about that more often.
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Become obsessed with the future that you're creating and do it every day because repetition is what makes it feel familiar.
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And familiar is what the brain moves towards.
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And so your brain is going to rehearse something today.
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That part is not optional.
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the only thing that you get to choose is what it rehearses
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if you don't take charge of it it will default to the past i promise you that and
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so what you want to do is you want to be
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very intentional about what your brain focuses on make sure
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that it focuses on the future and that your future is vividly detailed
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and more exciting than the past is okay
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and like i need to quickly warn you i guess
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because this part gets misused constantly i'm not pretending that your past didn't happen I'm not telling you to forget your past.
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If something real happened to you, that's real.
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Like grief is real.
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Trauma is real.
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What was done to you was done to you.
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And some of it probably actually might need professional help, not just like a podcast.
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And I want you to go get that.
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So I'm not saying skip over it.
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There's a difference between processing something and then like marinating in it, right?
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Processing has a direction.
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It's going somewhere.
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Marinating in it is just like a circle that doesn't get you anywhere.
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It's just like mental masturbation, right?
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And so here's what I want you to write down today.
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I just want you to answer this one question.
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If my brain builds a future out of whatever I give it most, what have I been giving it?
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And get very detailed on what you've been giving it.
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Sit with it, write it down because your past already happened.
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It's done, it's over.
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It cannot touch you anymore.
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I always say that your past is basically like the wake of a boat.
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If you turn around and you look behind the boat when you're on it, you can see the wake and it shows you where you've been, but the wake cannot steer the ship.
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But so many people are letting the wake of their life, the past, steer their ship.
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So the only thing that it can still take from you, all of these things that have happened to you in your past, is your future.
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But it can only take it from you if you just keep handing it over.
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And so stop rehearsing all the things that have already happened.
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start rehearsing what you're building start rehearsing the life that you want
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and you have to be more obsessed with the future
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that you want and what you're building more than you are with your past hey thanks
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so much for watching today's video
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if you love this video click this one right here this is the one
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that you need to watch next and
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if you want to make sure you don't miss any more of these episodes click
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that button right there make sure you subscribe and check out the next one
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “How NOT to Let Your Past Control Your Future” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 254 cümle ve 3167 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 16:13 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 195 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %91’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| circumstance isim | /ˈsɝ.kəmˌstæns/ | durum, hâl |
| excite fiil | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | heyecanlandırmak |
| marinate fiil | /ˈmæɹɪneɪt/ | avcarlamak, marine etmek |
| fluent sıfat | /ˈfluənt/ | akıcı |
| steer fiil | /stɪɹ/ | yönetmek |
| predict fiil | /pɹɪˈdɪkt/ | öngörmek, tahmin etmek |
| workshop isim | /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/ | atölye, imalathane |
| betray fiil | /bɪˈtɹeɪ/ | ihanet etmek |
| diligent sıfat | /ˈdɪlɪdʒənt/ | çalışkan |
| negativity isim | /ˌnɛɡ.əˈtɪ.vɪ.ti/ | olumsuzluk, negatiflik |
| repetition isim | /ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/ | tekrarlama, tekrar |
| summarize fiil | /ˈsʌməˌɹaɪz/ | özetlemek |
| dictate fiil | /ˈdɪkˌteɪt/ | dikte etmek |
| flaw isim | /flɔ/ | çatlak, çizik |
| rehearsal isim | /ɹɪˈhɝsl̩/ | prova, deneme |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| check out fiil | gözden geçirmek | |
| sit down fiil | oturmak | |
| turn around fiil | çevirmek, döndürmek | |
| wake up fiil | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | uyanmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- Holy, do you get that?
- Why does this always happen to me?
- What am I supposed to learn from this?
- What's the first thing that you do?
- Who are you when no one's watching?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — önceden başlayıp hâlâ süren bir eylem | have been controlling · I've been coaching · has been assembling |
| “Used to” used to + fiil — artık geçerli olmayan eski bir alışkanlık ya da durum | used to be · used to wreck |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | being dictated · was rehearsed · were done |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | have delivered · I've always been · you've heard |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, don't, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 96 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: prediction /pɹɪˈdɪkʃən/, workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, repetition /ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/, unconsciously /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəsli/, intentional /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: illiterate /ɪˈlɪtəɹət/, negativity /ˌnɛɡ.əˈtɪ.vɪ.ti/, repetition /ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/, unconsciously /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəsli/, intentional /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, backward /ˈbækwɚd/, unaware /ˌʌnəˈwɛɚ/, workout /ˈwɝk.aʊ̯t/, warn /woɹn/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: prediction /pɹɪˈdɪkʃən/, fluent /ˈfluənt/, steer /stɪɹ/, predict /pɹɪˈdɪkt/, flaw /flɔ/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: circumstance /ˈsɝ.kəmˌstæns/, marinate /ˈmæɹɪneɪt/, backward /ˈbækwɚd/, scan /skæn/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; circumstance, excite, marinate gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.