Shadowing Practice: The #1 Career Mistake Women Keep Making - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Carla, you have spent 35 plus years inside the rooms where decisions about people's compensation,
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promotion, equity, opportunities are decided.
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What do women not understand about how power truly works in the corporate world?
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One of the most important things that I think women don't understand is
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that you do need a sponsor speaking for you in those rooms, as you just articulated.
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Every single decision about your career will be made in a room behind closed doors where you are not present.
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Your compensation is going to be decided in a room where you're not present.
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Your promotions are going to be decided in a room where you're not present.
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And new opportunities are going to get doled out and you're not present.
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So somebody has to speak on your behalf in that room.
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And I dubbed that person back in 1990 a sponsor because that person is spending their currency.
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Sponsors do spend currency.
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They sponsor shows.
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They sponsor games.
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They spend their currency on your behalf to make sure that you're going to get the promotion.
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You're going to get the compensation.
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You're going to get the next great opportunity.
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And women were told for so long that just keep your head down and work hard.
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And if you're doing that, we tend to over invest, as I call it, in the performance currency.
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That's your deliverable.
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I call it that the performance currency.
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You're delivering that which is asked of you and a little bit extra, right?
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But you keep investing to the point of diminishing margin utility.
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And what you should be doing is investing concurrently or very shortly thereafter in the relationships.
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There should not be a question in your mind as to
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who's going to spend some currency on your behalf in that oh so important meeting.
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So going back to your context about you're in the room where the things are getting said, somebody has to speak for you.
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Do you know who that is?
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So one of the things that I say to professionals is especially when it's time for compensation decisions, especially when it's time for promotions, you need to ask yourself,
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who's gonna spend some currency on me in that room?
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And if you can't answer that question, then you know that you need to retreat from working so hard and invest in a sponsor relationship.
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And sometimes you have to exercise your power.
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You have to say, Mel, you know, I know that you guys are going to be making those decisions about promotions
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and I need somebody to speak on my behalf.
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You know me, you know my work, you know the client feedback, and I hope you feel comfortable spending a little currency on me behind closed doors.
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Now, in a perfect world, you're having that conversation long before that afternoon where it's going to happen.
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But worst case scenario, you don't let the meeting happen in the room when you haven't said anything to anybody,
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because then you're sitting there like this.
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And as the great Mike Tyson said, hope is not a strategy.
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How do you?
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I would love to dig just a little bit and unpack the sponsor topic.
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And here's why.
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Whenever that advice is brought up, and it is true, because if you are not known, if your contributions are not known,
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if somebody cannot speak on your behalf about the value that you demonstrate,
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why on earth would you think that just like you're getting paid to show up
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and do the job you get promoted for doing more
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or doing an exceptional job at it
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and i think i made the mistake in my career early of just assuming
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that somebody else would notice that how do you market your own visibility and contributions especially
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in a world where you may be working from home, it may be hybrid, everybody's busy half the time, I don't even know what I'm working on.
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How do you do that?
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Because I think what somebody might say is, well, I don't even know what relationships to invest in, and I'm not quite sure what skills I should be demonstrating
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or how to package those contributions to somebody that I rarely have time with.
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Does that make sense?
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It does.
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It makes a lot of sense.
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And let me unpack that a bit.
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So So first of all, once you recognize that somebody has to speak on your behalf, now you have to ask yourself, well, who is that somebody for me?
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And what I normally say to people is when you're thinking about a sponsor, here's how you pick out a sponsor.
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Number one, the sponsor needs to have a seat at the decision-making table.
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Number two, they need to have some visibility into your work.
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Because if I go into the decision-making room and I am pounding the table, Mel ought to have this, Mel ought to have that.
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And everybody in that room knows that I don't work with Mel, I have no credibility in that room.
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And number three, your sponsor needs to have some juice.
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They need to have some power in that room.
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Now, so what do you do?
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For two weeks, you study your environment and you say to yourself, who has a seat at the decision-making table?
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And if you can't figure that out, then you just simply ask someone.
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Mel, I walked around for years, not understanding how really decisions were being made, right?
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Everybody would talk about the promotion committee, the promotion committee, but it wasn't really clear to me who was on the promotion committee until one day I asked somebody.
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And it was another female manager director.
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I was not yet an MD.
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And I said, talk to me about this promotion committee, because this is an important year for me.
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I don't understand how this thing works.
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I've been hearing about it for years.
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And she said, well, it's a group of people.
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There are four or five people that are always there because they're on the operating committee or they're on the management committee.
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And then there are different department heads that may or may not be the same from year to year.
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And not only did she tell me who they were she actually drew a picture of the table
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and she said this one sits next to this one this one sits next to
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that this is how that works right
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and I couldn't believe I'd walked around for
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so long in such ignorance just thinking just just make sure
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you do a good job make sure you do not really understanding
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that dynamic so that's the first thing you should do who has a seat at decision-making table
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and how are these decisions made the second thing is now Now you say, of the people that I know who have a seat at the table, who has visibility into my work?
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And it doesn't have to be your direct boss, but it needs to be somebody that has some visibility into your work.
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So it could be somebody who's in an adjacent group or something like that.
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And then now, ideally, you pick two or three people from that second sheet.
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And then now you start thinking about ways that you can build a relationship.
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And this is the easiest part.
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Most people think, oh, it's so hard to build a relationship in my environment.
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You know, and oh, by the way, I'm an introvert.
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And the way you build any relationship personally or professionally is just frequency of touch.
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Think about the people, and it could be virtual touch to your point, or it could be physical touch.
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So if you think about the people that you are close to in college or, you know, from previous experiences, how did you get close to them?
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Maybe you went to the football games together.
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Maybe you always worked out together, but it was that touch that created the relationship
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So now with those people you want to build a sponsor relationship with you start thinking about ways
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that you can interact and in a professional environment It takes light touches.
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You don't even have to work with them You can just you know, you know what?
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I'm going down for my Starbucks run today Right, and I know you like it.
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How can I get it for you?
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You know, or you know, I'll fly if you buy whatever it is or Or, you know, Fridays, you say, hey, what you got going on for the weekend?
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You know, Mondays, you say, how was that thing that you did over the weekend?
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Or let me tell you what I did for the weekend.
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Or it's a town hall.
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You make sure you sit next to Mel every town hall and say, so what question?
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What do you think this is going to be about?
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Or, you know what?
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I got two questions.
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They're always begging for questions.
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Let me try this one on you and see what you think.
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So anytime you find ways to engage, those light touches are the things that relationships are made of.
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And nirvana is when somebody says, Mel, I'm going to make it happen for you.
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So they're already defining themselves as a sponsor.
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But for many of us, you have to exercise your power, which is what I did.
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And I went to somebody once I realized how important this was, big year for promotion.
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And I said, listen, you know, you and I both know somebody has to speak on my behalf behind closed doors.
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And you know me, you know my work, you know the client feedback.
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And I hope you feel comfortable sponsoring me because I think you'll do a terrific job on my behalf.
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and the person was sort of like, oh, nah, hubba hubba the hum, but then he said yes.
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And why was it an important conversation for me to have if he had told me no, he was going to have to tell me why.
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And that would have been important data for me from which to make a decision.
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But if he said yes, I trusted he'd get it done.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “The Career Mistake Women Keep Making” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: somebody, sponsor, decision, promotion, relationship. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 125 cümle ve 1721 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 8:40 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 198 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %88’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay. 125 cümlenin 20 tanesi soru; soru tonlaması ve kısa cevaplar için iyi bir alıştırma.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 8 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| visibility isim | /ˌvɪz.əˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/ | görülebilirlik |
| unpack fiil | /ʌnˈpæk/ | boşaltmak |
| terrific sıfat | korkunç, dehşet | |
| ignorance isim | /ˈɪɡ.nɚ.əns/ | cehalet, bilgisizlik |
| exceptional sıfat | /ɪkˈsɛpʃənəl/ | istisnai |
| retreat isim | /ɹɪˈtɹiːt/ | geri çekilme |
| scenario isim | /sɪˈnɛəɹioʊ/ | senaryo |
| anytime zarf | ne zaman olursa |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| show up fiil | ortaya çıkmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- You're going to get the compensation.
- You're going to get the next great opportunity.
- Do you know who that is?
- How do you do that?
- How can I get it for you?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | are decided · will be made · be decided |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | have spent · haven't said |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | that which is · power, which is |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, don't, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 41 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: diminish /dɪˈmɪnɪʃ/, exceptional /ɪkˈsɛpʃənəl/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: visibility /ˌvɪz.əˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/, deliverable /dɪˈlɪvɹəbəɫ/, introverted /ˈɪn.tɹəˌvɜːɹ.təd/, articulate /ɑːɹˈtɪk.jə.leɪt/, ideally /aɪˈdi.ə.li/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: sponsor /ˈspɒn.səː/, credibility /kɹɛd.əˈbɪ.ɫɪ.ti/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: unpack /ʌnˈpæk/, thereafter /ˌðɛɹˈæf.tɚ/, interact /ɪn.təˈɹækt/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; visibility, unpack, terrific gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.