Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: The #1 Career Mistake Women Keep Making

Carla, you have spent 35 plus years inside the rooms where decisions about people's compensation,

promotion, equity, opportunities are decided.

What do women not understand about how power truly works in the corporate world?

One of the most important things that I think women don't understand is

that you do need a sponsor speaking for you in those rooms, as you just articulated.

Every single decision about your career will be made in a room behind closed doors where you are not present.

Your compensation is going to be decided in a room where you're not present.

Your promotions are going to be decided in a room where you're not present.

And new opportunities are going to get doled out and you're not present.

So somebody has to speak on your behalf in that room.

And I dubbed that person back in 1990 a sponsor because that person is spending their currency.

Sponsors do spend currency.

They sponsor shows.

They sponsor games.

They spend their currency on your behalf to make sure that you're going to get the promotion.

You're going to get the compensation.

You're going to get the next great opportunity.

And women were told for so long that just keep your head down and work hard.

And if you're doing that, we tend to over invest, as I call it, in the performance currency.

That's your deliverable.

I call it that the performance currency.

You're delivering that which is asked of you and a little bit extra, right?

But you keep investing to the point of diminishing margin utility.

And what you should be doing is investing concurrently or very shortly thereafter in the relationships.

There should not be a question in your mind as to

who's going to spend some currency on your behalf in that oh so important meeting.

So going back to your context about you're in the room where the things are getting said, somebody has to speak for you.

Do you know who that is?

So one of the things that I say to professionals is especially when it's time for compensation decisions, especially when it's time for promotions, you need to ask yourself,

who's gonna spend some currency on me in that room?

And if you can't answer that question, then you know that you need to retreat from working so hard and invest in a sponsor relationship.

And sometimes you have to exercise your power.

You have to say, Mel, you know, I know that you guys are going to be making those decisions about promotions

and I need somebody to speak on my behalf.

You know me, you know my work, you know the client feedback, and I hope you feel comfortable spending a little currency on me behind closed doors.

Now, in a perfect world, you're having that conversation long before that afternoon where it's going to happen.

But worst case scenario, you don't let the meeting happen in the room when you haven't said anything to anybody,

because then you're sitting there like this.

And as the great Mike Tyson said, hope is not a strategy.

How do you?

I would love to dig just a little bit and unpack the sponsor topic.

And here's why.

Whenever that advice is brought up, and it is true, because if you are not known, if your contributions are not known,

if somebody cannot speak on your behalf about the value that you demonstrate,

why on earth would you think that just like you're getting paid to show up

and do the job you get promoted for doing more

or doing an exceptional job at it

and i think i made the mistake in my career early of just assuming

that somebody else would notice that how do you market your own visibility and contributions especially

in a world where you may be working from home, it may be hybrid, everybody's busy half the time, I don't even know what I'm working on.

How do you do that?

Because I think what somebody might say is, well, I don't even know what relationships to invest in, and I'm not quite sure what skills I should be demonstrating

or how to package those contributions to somebody that I rarely have time with.

Does that make sense?

It does.

It makes a lot of sense.

And let me unpack that a bit.

So So first of all, once you recognize that somebody has to speak on your behalf, now you have to ask yourself, well, who is that somebody for me?

And what I normally say to people is when you're thinking about a sponsor, here's how you pick out a sponsor.

Number one, the sponsor needs to have a seat at the decision-making table.

Number two, they need to have some visibility into your work.

Because if I go into the decision-making room and I am pounding the table, Mel ought to have this, Mel ought to have that.

And everybody in that room knows that I don't work with Mel, I have no credibility in that room.

And number three, your sponsor needs to have some juice.

They need to have some power in that room.

Now, so what do you do?

For two weeks, you study your environment and you say to yourself, who has a seat at the decision-making table?

And if you can't figure that out, then you just simply ask someone.

Mel, I walked around for years, not understanding how really decisions were being made, right?

Everybody would talk about the promotion committee, the promotion committee, but it wasn't really clear to me who was on the promotion committee until one day I asked somebody.

And it was another female manager director.

I was not yet an MD.

And I said, talk to me about this promotion committee, because this is an important year for me.

I don't understand how this thing works.

I've been hearing about it for years.

And she said, well, it's a group of people.

There are four or five people that are always there because they're on the operating committee or they're on the management committee.

And then there are different department heads that may or may not be the same from year to year.

And not only did she tell me who they were she actually drew a picture of the table

and she said this one sits next to this one this one sits next to

that this is how that works right

and I couldn't believe I'd walked around for

so long in such ignorance just thinking just just make sure

you do a good job make sure you do not really understanding

that dynamic so that's the first thing you should do who has a seat at decision-making table

and how are these decisions made the second thing is now Now you say, of the people that I know who have a seat at the table, who has visibility into my work?

And it doesn't have to be your direct boss, but it needs to be somebody that has some visibility into your work.

So it could be somebody who's in an adjacent group or something like that.

And then now, ideally, you pick two or three people from that second sheet.

And then now you start thinking about ways that you can build a relationship.

And this is the easiest part.

Most people think, oh, it's so hard to build a relationship in my environment.

You know, and oh, by the way, I'm an introvert.

And the way you build any relationship personally or professionally is just frequency of touch.

Think about the people, and it could be virtual touch to your point, or it could be physical touch.

So if you think about the people that you are close to in college or, you know, from previous experiences, how did you get close to them?

Maybe you went to the football games together.

Maybe you always worked out together, but it was that touch that created the relationship

So now with those people you want to build a sponsor relationship with you start thinking about ways

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that you can interact and in a professional environment It takes light touches.

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You don't even have to work with them You can just you know, you know what?

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I'm going down for my Starbucks run today Right, and I know you like it.

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How can I get it for you?

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You know, or you know, I'll fly if you buy whatever it is or Or, you know, Fridays, you say, hey, what you got going on for the weekend?

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You know, Mondays, you say, how was that thing that you did over the weekend?

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Or let me tell you what I did for the weekend.

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Or it's a town hall.

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You make sure you sit next to Mel every town hall and say, so what question?

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What do you think this is going to be about?

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Or, you know what?

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I got two questions.

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They're always begging for questions.

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Let me try this one on you and see what you think.

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So anytime you find ways to engage, those light touches are the things that relationships are made of.

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And nirvana is when somebody says, Mel, I'm going to make it happen for you.

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So they're already defining themselves as a sponsor.

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But for many of us, you have to exercise your power, which is what I did.

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And I went to somebody once I realized how important this was, big year for promotion.

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And I said, listen, you know, you and I both know somebody has to speak on my behalf behind closed doors.

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And you know me, you know my work, you know the client feedback.

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And I hope you feel comfortable sponsoring me because I think you'll do a terrific job on my behalf.

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and the person was sort of like, oh, nah, hubba hubba the hum, but then he said yes.

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And why was it an important conversation for me to have if he had told me no, he was going to have to tell me why.

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And that would have been important data for me from which to make a decision.

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But if he said yes, I trusted he'd get it done.

Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?

Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.

Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: The #1 Career Mistake Women Keep Making

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