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Every time you meet someone new, people unconsciously determine your level of status, how successful you are, how credible you are, and whether you're someone worth listening to.
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And they make that judgment in two different ways.
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The first is through your visual image.
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This is what you wear, this is the way you carry yourself, this is your physical appearance.
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If you look good, you've got great posture, and you're smiling, people assume you're confident and friendly.
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But the moment you open your mouth and then you speak, you now reveal your vocal image.
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This is the part people rarely think about.
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It's the impression people form about you based on how you use your voice.
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And when they hear your voice, they start to form beliefs about who you really are, your credibility, your conviction, and whether or not they should take you seriously.
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But after a decade of training some of the biggest organizations around the world, teaching millions of people to improve their vocal image,
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I've learned there are five common communication traits of high-status people that if you start adopting, you'll sound like someone people trust, respect, and want to listen to.
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Starting with trait number five, they speak with conviction.
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High status communicators use their voice in a way that makes you believe in what they say.
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You trust their words more, they sound like someone who has a lot of credibility and authority.
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Low status communicators, they sound unsure and sometimes even apologetic for taking up space.
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When I was in my late 20s, I moved from Australia to America to build my career as a keynote speaker and as a communication skills coach.
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For those of you watching who are not from Australia, here in the land down under we do something called up talk where we end every single sentence on a high pitch.
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It sounds like this.
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Do you notice that?
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Everything I say finishes on a high note?
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That's completely normal here in Australia.
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It's our way of checking, the listener is still with us, and subconsciously we're signalling to others that we are cooperative and that we're not trying to dominate the conversation.
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However, in the US, it's often misread as a lack of confidence and insecurity.
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Anyway, before I even knew that I had Uptalk, I would enter those important conversations with my clients in America, pitching my services, and I'd say things like,
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I've been teaching communication for the last 10 years, and I'm certain I can help you solve all your communication problems.
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Did I sound high status?
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It sounded like I was asking for permission and approval the entire time.
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It felt like I wasn't really doing myself justice at all, right?
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I was lucky that one of my clients called me out on this and she said, We would love to work with you, but for your own sake, say it like you mean it, damn it.
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And so I got another opportunity to speak to the committee again.
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And this time I said it like this.
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I've been teaching communication now for the last 10 years.
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And I'm certain I can help you solve all your communication problems.
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That tiny behavior change in ending my sentences on a lower pitch completely transformed the way I came across to my clients.
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And it made me feel way more confident about what I was saying.
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UpTalk is so ingrained as a habit for so many people and rarely is it because you're insecure.
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Often it's just because it's a habit you've been repeating for the last 10 years
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and now you no longer even noticed it.
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Look at this example of one of my students
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that I was coaching and watch how hard it was for him to change the habit.
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You also go up at the end of your sentences.
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So I want you to end on lower now.
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Alright!
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The story that I would like to share with you is a story from my childhood.
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So, I was in Grade 5.
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Oh!
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5!
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The story that I would like to share with you is a story from Grade 5.
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Oh!
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You're still going up?
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You're still going up?
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You're going Grade 5?
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And the story I'd like to share with you...
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Keep it down.
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It's a story from Grade 5.
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No, you're still doing it!
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You're still doing it!
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So yeah, it is, it's chronic.
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So here's the thing.
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What I'd like you to do is, the story I'd like to share with you is from when I was in Grade 5.
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The story that I'd like to share with you is a story in grade five.
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Good.
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We were tasked with this assignment where we had to write an advertisement for the radio.
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Good.
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Did you see how many times I had to call him out on his ending pitch?
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Trait number four.
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They don't use a hundred words when five will do.
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We all have that one person in our life who says a lot without saying much at all.
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You ask them a question
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and then they talk for five whole minutes straight without actually answering the question
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or saying anything meaningful basically every damn politician you can think
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of these days this is such a common occurrence in workplaces
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as well even in my office every time we're in a
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meeting i ask andy my head of marketing a simple question
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can you give me a quick update on the campaign progress
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and instead of giving me a quick update he somehow turns
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it into a full 30-minute investigation cross-referencing three campaigns from the last quarter interviewing witnesses
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and presenting evidence to me like he's trying to solve a murder okay i know
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that b-roll was dramatic but what i'm referring to here is the habit of injecting more words
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and context into a situation in a given moment than is
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necessary this is called message density think of every conversation like a container
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that holds your message the more words you pack into it
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the more the other person has to do the hard work
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to find out what the actual point is in psychology they they call it cognitive load.
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It's the mental effort required to process information.
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And the more words you use, the heavier the load becomes.
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Whereas the less words you use, the clearer your message becomes and the more weight each word will actually carry.
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High-status communicators get this right.
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They know what point they want to communicate and they know the most effective path to be able to get there.
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And usually it's simple as saying less instead of more.
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And the simplest way to say less is to use a communication framework.
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And the one that I want to teach you
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that I use all the time when I'm put on the spot to answer a question is called PAT.
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PAT.
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P-A-T.
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The P stands for pause.
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Now pause for a few moments when you start.
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Think about your answer.
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Most people don't do this.
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They answer immediately out of nervousness and then they blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
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And they have this fear that if I don't answer straight away, I might look incompetent.
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In my opinion, when you do this and answer straight away, it makes you look like you didn't put much thought into your answer at all.
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So do what most don't.
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Pause first.
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Give yourself a couple of seconds to collect your thoughts.
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Then if you need more time to think, you can buy yourself even more time with the next part of the framework which is ask a question.
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Specifically, ask a clarifying question to get more specific.
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Imagine this little weird cloud, vague circle that I'm drawing.
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Imagine it represents their original question.
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When you ask a clarifying question, a follow-up question, what you're doing here is you're getting them to draw a smaller circle inside it.
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This This makes the blast radius much smaller
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and it makes it easier for you to get to the answer they're actually seeking.
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Because if you answer their original question, the reason you use so many words to answer and give extra context is because you're answering all of that.
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The moment you ask their clarifying question, now you know exactly what they're after, you're using less words because there's so much more focus in your response.
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And finally, the last part of PAT, T stands for the one thing.
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Once they've clarified their question and you are more clear on what they're asking, you can start your answer with the phrase, the one thing.
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And what this does is it filters all of the thoughts you have about whatever is being asked, and it forces you to choose one single point that matters the most.
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And this makes your communication more clear, more concise and more coherent.
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Now let's go back to the example with Andy and watch him use the PAT framework to answer my question.
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Andy, can you give me a quick update on the campaign progress?
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Just so I'm clear, are you most interested in overall performance or specifically how the new landing page is converting?
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Yeah, I'm actually more curious about how the landing page is converting.
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The one thing you need to know is
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that the new landing page without your face in it is
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actually outperforming the old one where you had your face in it by about 200% on conversions.
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Wait, so what you're saying is I'm ugly?
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No, no, no. It's not what I'm saying.
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It's what the data is saying.
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Around two billion people.
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It's basically undeniable at this point.
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Ah, if you're a fellow ugly person like myself, we're already hard to look at.
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So we want to make ourselves at least easy to listen to.
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So if you want to do that, you're going to learn communication frameworks.
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If you click the link below or scan the QR code, I've recorded a two hour free training on three of the top communication frameworks That helps you sound more clear,
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concise and coherent.
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I'll see you in class.
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Hashtag, Uggos Unite.
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Remember what I said at the start.
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Most people don't think about their vocal image.
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They leave it up to chance.
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Traits five and four will dramatically improve your vocal image immediately, but only if you apply it.
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So apply it this week in your next conversation.
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End your sentences on a lower pitch and then use the PAT framework
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and watch people start to give you respect and attention that you deserve.
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Don't be like 99% of the population who gets stuck in the cycle of consumption.
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If you apply what you learn here on this YouTube channel, you're already ahead of most people.
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So go and do it.
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Now if traits 5 and 4 upgrade your vocal image, this next one, trait number 3 will help you upgrade your visual image.
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High status communicators aren't afraid of holding eye contact.
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Every time you watch a video of your favorite creator online, hopefully it's me, where are they looking?
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They're looking directly into the lens of the camera, which cuts through your screen into your eyes.
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And think about where you're looking the most while I'm speaking.
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You're looking into my eyes, aren't you?
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Eye contact doesn't just hold your attention, it builds a physical bridge between you and the other person.
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Whether it's in person or whether it's on camera.
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And you can actually feel the connection, the energy, the emotion, and the information hitting you on the other side of the screen.
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Imagine I'm talking to you the whole time as you're watching this video as I look over here.
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Or what if I was looking over there like this up high?
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Or what if I was doing this?
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What if I was looking at you like this while I was talking to you?
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How does that make you feel?
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Okay, I know nobody does that one.
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But even if I just look slightly off the screen and don't give you eye contact, do you notice the difference?
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Do I seem confident or do I come across a little uncertain?
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The same goes for in-person interactions like I said before.
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Strong eye contact communicates physical presence it tells people i'm here i'm with you
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and i'm not hiding from this moment and when people feel
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that from you they respect you more they take your words more seriously great communicators understand this they get it
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and they aren't afraid to say what they need to
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while holding eye contact with you now i know a lot
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of people find eye contact a little bit awkward where you're holding eye contact for a little too long
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and you suddenly zone out the conversation and your inner thoughts get louder
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and louder and you start thinking to yourself am i staring at this person for too long?
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Should I look away?
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Do I look weird?
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What do I do?
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So if this is you, here's a little hack that I use to help me get a little more comfortable with extended periods of eye contact.
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If you find yourself being uncomfortable with eye contact, let me teach you something known as the triangle technique.
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Where basically you look at their left eye then you look
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at their right eye then you look at the bridge of their nose
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and by doing this you give your brain something to do
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so removes the discomfort thanks batman oh dan that's why we
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love you you're the first we sacrifice every time especially your face okay
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so that's how you can get more comfortable with eye contact
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when you're speaking to somebody new now
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if you're in a group setting though unlike
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that one-on-one situation in a group setting well what do you do this is what That's what you shouldn't do first.
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Don't dart your eyes around the room too fast, it makes you look shifty.
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Don't scan from left to right, right to left, you end up looking robotic.
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Don't follow the same pattern where you look at person A, then B, then C, then back to person A, B, then C, again it seems weird, it seems unnatural.
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Don't look over people's heads, that's the worst advice ever given.
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Don't fixate on just one person when there are many other people in the room, because that goes from connecting to now you're just staring.
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Instead of this, this is what you should do.
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Singular eye contact.
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Hold one person's gaze for the length of a sentence or a single idea, then move to somebody else so it feels like you're speaking to one person and not the entire room.
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One person, one thought, then move.
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That one habit will instantly make you look more composed, sound more believable, and feel like someone people actually want to keep listening to.
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Trait number two of high status communicators.
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They know how to activate your imagination.
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When I think about some of the most charismatic
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and magnetic influential people I've ever come across as a keynote speaker and a communication coach, they all have one thing in common that they all do.
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They don't bore you with the facts and the figures.
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They bring the information to life with analogies, metaphors, and similes.
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They don't give you a bullet point update about their life.
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They take you into the moment and then they relive it with you through storytelling.
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They don't speak in vague concepts.
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They are highly specific, which makes what they say more memorable.
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High status communicators understand how to activate the imagination of their listeners to keep them engaged and locked in.
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They're not just delivering information, they're creating an experience for you to receive the information in the most memorable way possible.
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And look, I can spend all day going deep into every single technique to activate people's imagination.
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So let me distill for you the 80-20, the 20% of techniques that gives you 80% of the results.
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Number one is specificity.
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When you're describing anything to anyone, people love it when you get specific.
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For example, if I asked you, how was your day?
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And you responded, I was stressful.
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It was the worst, actually.
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To make that more specific, you could respond by saying, oh, I had a really stressful meeting this afternoon with some senior leaders.
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And it was extra stressful because the CEO was there.
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And the moment I sat down and I opened up my laptop and I looked at them, I could tell from the lack of expression on their faces that they weren't happy with me.
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Notice in the example where I was just a little bit more specific about my day.
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My day became suddenly easier to understand and remember and you felt like you were there with me, right?
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And now number two.
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Analogies, metaphors and similes.
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These are tools that allow you to make the complex simple by comparing it to something
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that is more well known and easier to understand.
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For example, I always hear Peter, my director of content, say things like, I feel pretty overwhelmed at the moment then, I have to do everything on my own,
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filming the content, editing projects, scheduling the videos, there are so many things that I have to do that I'm starting to miss all of my KPIs.
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Instead he could use an analogy, a metaphor or a simile, something like this, then I feel like I'm being sent into battle by myself with no reinforcements
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and instead of a squad and actual weapons, I've been sent into a war with twigs and as a lone wolf, I'm definitely going to die in this mission.
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Doesn't that paint a more vivid picture of the situation that he's actually in?
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And to be honest, whether or not Peter uses an analogy, a metaphor or a simile to tell me that he is stressed,
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I'm still sending Peter into the the war by himself as a lone wolf with bloody twigs.
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Godspeed, Peter.
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And number three, storytelling.
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Here's the rule.
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If you want your point that you're making to be more memorable, use a story if the situation allows for it.
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For example, if I met with my team for a serious meeting
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and wanted to drive the point that small communication mistakes destroy your reputation.
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I could literally just say what I just said but would that be effective?
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Instead if I used a story like this watch what happens.
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Guys I want to talk about something serious that happened last week.
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I'm certain someone on the team made a post on Facebook and it reads let's eat dogs.
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Obviously they were missing a comma and they misspelled dogs.
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It should have been spelt dogs and then now everybody thinks we eat dogs for lunch which is wrong and disgusting.
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because we eat dogs for dinner.
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But the point I'm trying to make here is, guys, these small communication errors that you make, Batman, they're going to cause damage to my reputation.
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So every time we post something publicly, spelling punctuation.
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And Dan, take off that mask.
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We know it's you.
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Yeah, we definitely pushed the boundaries here on this channel, and I'm okay with it.
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How much more effective was it when I used the story to get the point across compared to just saying the point.
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So stop it with the boring communication.
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Give specific detail.
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Give me something visual that I can see in my mind with an analogy, a metaphor, or a simile.
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Give me the sound.
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Give me something I can imagine with my senses.
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Make the complex ideas and messages simple and fun to understand.
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And if you dare, tell a story to get the point across.
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Don't just say the point.
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Trust me, storytelling is the ultimate weapon of influence in a communicator's toolkit.
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And the final trait, number one, of high-status communicators is they aren't afraid of silence.
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This, they aren't afraid of it.
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This is one of the clearest signals of status that you can hear.
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And I want to show you three real-life examples of where three great communicators use the pause strategically.
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Watch how they aren't afraid of it and how much aura they have because they simply just pause.
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Perhaps you could tell us what you personally have been doing for the last seven years.
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Ouch.
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Uh...
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You know, you can please some of the people some of the time, but...
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How does it feel to be here tonight?
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What does it mean for you?
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How did they feel for you?
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Well, I have to say you were my childhood crush.
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You got to stop, man.
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Or, you know, I can't get these ads because of some of the things you tweet.
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You know, I'm reminded of...
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How powerful were those pauses?
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Most people don't do this.
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They get nervous they rush and then they fill every single gap with an um, ah, like so, do you know what I mean?
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Because they feel uncomfortable with silence.
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But did you see those people embrace the silence?
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Even if you are credible and you know what you're talking about, if you fill the silence with auditory clutter, to the listener, they hear you as uncertain, unprepared and scattered.
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I'm going to give you five reasons why silence is actually your best friend.
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Reason number one, when you pause between your sentences,
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it gives what you say next more weight notice how i paused before i said more weight
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which emphasized those words even more reason number two
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when you pause after your sentences it makes it easier for the listener to follow you
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because it gives them time to process what you just said
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notice how you're processing the moment i paused notice how you just did it again Reason number three,
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when someone asks you a question and you pause before answering,
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it signals respect, it signals that you have control and that you are comfortable holding space and combined with that,
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reason number four, pausing before you answer gives you time to think more clearly before answering, which allows you to be more deliberate with your words
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and prevents you from rambling and it shows you're putting a lot of thought into the answer.
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And reason number five, I think is the most beautiful of them all.
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Because beyond you being able to reduce the filler words, you also sounding more credible and more thoughtful,
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when you train this behavior and you start to pause more when you're speaking to someone, you're actually creating space for people to share more with you.
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For example, sometimes when people talk and they naturally pause, often what do we do?
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We just immediately butt in and we start talking because again, we're uncomfortable with the silence.
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Whereas what happens when you start to become really comfortable with.
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When people are talking and you don't respond straight away, even after they're finished talking, you just pause.
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What you're doing is you're leaving space for them to be able to feel if they want to.
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And what you'll notice is as you start to do this, as people even seem to finish their thought, because there's still more space, they keep going.
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They share more with you, more depth.
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As you learn to embrace the silence over time, people will start reading you as being more confident, thoughtful and composed.
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These are the five traits of high status communicators.
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Learn how to speak with conviction.
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Vocal certainty, it builds trust.
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Learn how to say more with less.
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Verbal precision makes you more clear.
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Strengthen your visual presence through eye contact.
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Activate the imagination of the people you're speaking to and learn how to be comfortable with silence.
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If you're just starting your journey to become a better communicator, it can be really difficult to spot where you need to improve, which is why self-awareness is the first step you need to take.
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So click the video just up here, and I'll teach you how to build self-awareness so you know exactly what you need to improve.
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Từ vựng và ghi chú luyện nói cho bài học này
Bài luyện nói trình độ B2 này dựa trên video “5 "Low Status" Speaking Habits That Make You Sound Weak”. Video này có 312 câu và 4061 từ để luyện shadowing. Phần lời nói dài 21:51. Người nói nói nhanh, khoảng 186 từ mỗi phút, nên sẽ có nhiều chỗ nối âm và nuốt âm. 86% số từ nằm trong 3.000 từ tiếng Anh thông dụng nhất; phần còn lại nên xem trước khi luyện.
Từ vựng quan trọng trong video
15 từ khó nhất trong video, kèm phiên âm và nghĩa:
| Từ | Phiên âm | Nghĩa |
|---|---|---|
| trait danh từ | /tɹeɪt/ | đặc điểm, đặc tính |
| vocal tính từ | /ˈvoʊ̯.kəl/ | nói to tiếng |
| simile danh từ | /ˈsɪməli/ | so sánh |
| analogy danh từ | /əˈnæləd͡ʒi/ | loại suy |
| metaphor danh từ | /ˈmɛt.ə.fɚ/ | ẩn dụ, phép ẩn dụ |
| listener danh từ | /ˈlɪs(ə)nɚ/ | thính giả, người nghe |
| compose động từ | /kəmˈpəʊz/ | phổ, sáng tác |
| twig danh từ | /twɪɡ/ | cành, nhánh |
| vague tính từ | /veɪɡ/ | mơ hồ, mông lung |
| convert động từ | /kənˈvɝt/ | cải đạo |
| embrace động từ | /ɛmˈbɹes/ | ôm |
| distil động từ | /dəˈstɪl/ | chưng cất |
| ouch | /ˈaʊt͡ʃ/ | úi da, ai da |
| emphasize động từ | /ˈɛm.fə.saɪz/ | nhấn mạnh |
| vivid tính từ | /ˈvɪvɪd/ | sống động |
Cụm động từ bạn sẽ nghe
| Từ | Nghĩa |
|---|---|
| go up động từ | lên |
| open up động từ | mở |
| sit down động từ | ngồi xuống, ngồi |
| take off động từ | bỏ |
Những câu đáng luyện lại
Các câu ngắn, trọn ý trong video mà bạn có thể dùng lại khi giao tiếp hằng ngày:
- Everything I say finishes on a high note?
- Did I sound high status?
- You're still going up?
- Wait, so what you're saying is I'm ugly?
- You're looking into my eyes, aren't you?
Ngữ pháp trong video
Những cấu trúc người nói dùng nhiều nhất, kèm đúng cụm từ trong video:
| Cấu trúc | Trong video |
|---|---|
| Thì hiện tại hoàn thành tiếp diễn have/has been + -ing — việc bắt đầu từ trước và vẫn đang tiếp tục | I've been teaching · you've been repeating · have been doing |
| Câu bị động be + quá khứ phân từ — nhấn vào việc xảy ra, không phải người làm | were tasked · is called · being asked |
| Thì hiện tại hoàn thành have/has + quá khứ phân từ — việc đã xảy ra nhưng còn liên quan đến hiện tại | I've learned · they've clarified · I've recorded |
| Mệnh đề quan hệ who / which + mệnh đề — thêm thông tin về người hoặc vật | someone who has · framework which is · specific, which makes |
Phát âm cần chú ý
Người nói dùng 122 dạng rút gọn, ví dụ you're, I'm, don't. Hãy nói theo dạng ngắn đúng như bạn nghe.
- Âm “th”: thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfəl/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/
- Âm “sh” và “zh”: conviction /kənˈvɪkʃən/, hashtag /ˈhæʃˌtæɡ/, precision /pɹɪˈsɪʒ.ən/, influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/, politician /ˌpɑ.ləˈtɪʃ.ən/
- Từ dài — đặt trọng âm cho đúng: communicator /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/, analogy /əˈnæləd͡ʒi/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, credibility /kɹɛd.əˈbɪ.ɫɪ.ti/, apologetic /əˌpɑləˈd͡ʒɛtɪk/
Những âm người Việt thường gặp khó:
- Cụm phụ âm cuối — đọc đủ từng âm, đừng nuốt âm cuối: coherent /koʊˈhɛɹ.ənt/, overwhelm /ˌoʊ.vɚˈwɛlm/, dart /dɑɹt/, incompetent /ɪnˈkɒmpətənt/, occurrence /əˈkɜɹ.əns/
- Âm /tʃ/, /dʒ/ và /ʒ/ — tiếng Việt không có, đừng đọc thành “ch” hay “gi”: analogy /əˈnæləd͡ʒi/, apologetic /əˌpɑləˈd͡ʒɛtɪk/, ouch /ˈaʊt͡ʃ/, posture /ˈpɑst͡ʃɚ/, precision /pɹɪˈsɪʒ.ən/
- Âm /æ/ — mở miệng rộng hơn âm “e”: analogy /əˈnæləd͡ʒi/, activate /ˈæktɪˌveɪt/, clarify /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.faɪ/, scan /skæn/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/
Cách luyện với video này
- Nghe hết video một lần, chưa cần nói, và ghi lại những từ bạn chưa biết.
- Bắt đầu ở tốc độ 0,75×, nói đuổi từng câu, rồi quay lại tốc độ bình thường khi đã quen.
- Ghi âm giọng mình rồi so với bản gốc, chú ý các từ như trait, vocal, simile.
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.