跟读练习: love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them - 通过视频学习英语口语

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One of the biggest issues with our generation is that we believe love is a feeling as opposed to an act.

And because of that, it can be very easy to confuse it with lust, which leads to a whole number of separate issues.

But I think that after reading Dostoevsky, after spending a lot of time studying philosophy,

I've come to realize that life is about the actions that you take.

And the way that you ultimately feel about someone is reciprocated in the actions,

except the actions are more pure and it sort of acts as a filter.

In other words, if you love someone, you are going to show up for them every single day, regardless of how you feel.

Not that you're going to be perfect, but you're going to actively try to hear them out.

You're going to try to understand them and you're going to try to create the best relationship possible.

But when love is just a feeling, that means that you are heavily susceptible to emotions and mood swinging,

you know, chemical changes in your brain over time,

you know, beauty fades and beauty directly changes the way that we view and feel about certain people.

And so you basically are just leaving yourself vulnerable to the many things

which will inevitably happen in life that could change the way that you then treat someone.

And I'm a big believer in the sort of Aristotle view, in Aristotle's view of who an individual is.

Who you are is what you do, not what you think, not the intentions that you had, not what you wish to happen, right?

It's what you do.

And I think as it relates to relationships, your relationships is how you treat each other and love is a, is an action.

It is a visible thing.

Like you can see someone loving someone else, right?

I remember talking to my grandfather,

um, but after my grandmother had passed away and he was just the way that he talks about my grandmother was like,

he was just so, so in love with her.

Even after, you know, he's 80 years old, she's passed away.

And the way that he talks about her, I, it just, I realized that it was so much deeper.

Um, and there were so many actions behind everything and they showed up for each other constantly.

I mean, it's one of those things where you just can't deny it.

And then I'm sure that there were other people that are old now,

and maybe they got divorced or the broken up or whatever.

And a lot of that was because they felt a certain way in the moment.

And that was, they were confusing lust for love or they had love,

but they didn't continue to show up for each other after you know five ten years of marriage

because they kind of sort of felt like it was an obligation to stay together

and so it fell apart you know i i'm very very blessed

and lucky to have um two parents that are still together

and that love each other

and sort of exemplify to me what it looks like where you know

you you decide you make a decision a decision

that oftentimes is not the easy one to make

and you do it every day because you care about this person more than you

and I've even started to realize this

because love doesn't always have to be romantic I feel like what I've been talking about in this video

so far has been purely romantic but even even in friendships right

if you love someone like a brother then you are willing to compromise certain things I think about

this when I was in um my later years of high school I remember

that there was this guy that I knew and I wanted to basically be friends with this guy.

And, and, you know, we had been friends like on and off there.

It's never like we had a dramatic, like falling out or something, but just on and off throughout growing up as one does.

And he said, um, it was, it was one of the later summers in my high school.

And he was like, yeah, man, you know, we should hang out sometime over the summer.

And I really, I had no friends.

So I was like, definitely down to do it.

And every single time

that uh you know i'd offer to do something with this guy

he would always be like well i'm playing poker with the guys

and let's let's find another night but literally every single night

that i would ever and and i didn't really contact him

that much to be fair

but he would always be like oh yeah i'm playing poker oh yeah i'm playing poker

and i realized it was like if he actually cared to be friends with me

and cared about the relationship

and had a sort of brotherly love then he would have said

you know what i'm going to make the time to do something

that i could do with him you might be like well why didn't

you do poker well i was completely broke

i didn't have enough money to play poker there was a buy -in

and also i just don't like to play it in general

so it didn't really make sense for me to go

and play poker with the group that he was playing with anyways that's besides the point

Thank you i just realized in that moment

that was such a big learning opportunity for me

that it's like the actions the way that somebody treats you and what they're willing to sacrifice um for you is

the literal like the visible um coming to life of love and most people

that i mean this goes way over their head i feel like uh you know another thing is

that your intentions don't erase the consequences of your behavior.

And so most people don't understand this because I'm sure in his head, he was like, well, I do want to hang out with this guy,

but you know, it's just poker.

There were a lot, there were a lot of other guys.

So it just kind of was the path of least resistance, whatever, excuse me.

But the reality is if you love someone, you make the time, you make the effort,

you make the sacrifice, you do what needs to be done.

And that's just, that's how life is.

That's how life is.

When I was in college, there was one time where a buddy of mine who lived six and a half hours away said,

I need a ride home for, and I was in our hometown and, you know, he was six and a half hours away,

like I just said, but he needed a ride home for the holidays.

And I drove six and a half hours to meet him.

And then six and a half hours back to go back to our hometown.

And I did this because I was like, this is what you do for someone.

And, you know, I, I mean, I guess it's a different point of view that I'm going to have because I'm Christian,

but like life is about acts of service and doing things for people, even if there's no reciprocity in it,

you know, somebody is not always going to treat you the way that you treat them.

And in my limited experience of life, I have realized that I always, almost always am willing to go the extra mile for other people,

but that rarely ever is returned to me.

And I like, that's not what the value of things is based off of.

You do things because in general, I consider myself to be, I'm not trying to virtue signal,

but I do consider myself to be a loving person in the sense that I like people specifically as individuals in groups,

you know, it gets questionable, but as individuals, you know, I like to help people.

And I think that that's a good thing.

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And I think almost everybody likes to help people.

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I think this is like a natural, you know, you feel good when you help people.

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I've never met someone that doesn't like to help people, but anyways, love is like, Hey, I'm going to show up.

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I'm going to do this.

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And it's just sad to see that most people don't make that effort.

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And I think what's scary is to think about when our generation starts to get married.

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And by the way, a lot of people are you know,

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the percentage of people that are getting married is getting lower and lower as time goes on.

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But I think what we're seeing is, or what we're going to see is a lot of people aren't going to stay married for very long

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because they don't know what it's like to commit through hard times, through aging, through, you know,

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the different mood swings or periods of life that people go through.

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And it just is a, is the, uh, sort of symbolic representation of failing love.

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That's what I think.

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Um, yeah, it's not just getting along with someone.

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It's not just being physically attracted to someone.

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It's not just having your interests be aligned for, you know, a finite period of time.

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It's so much more.

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It's, it's the actions that's showing up every day but yeah those are my thoughts thank you guys for watching

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本课的词汇与口语要点

这节口语课以视频“love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them”为素材。这段视频共有 117 个句子、1611 个单词可供跟读。讲话部分时长为 8:37。说话人语速较快，每分钟约 187 个词，会出现较多连读和弱读。 87% 的单词属于英语最常用的 3,000 词，词汇容易理解。

视频中的重点词汇

视频中 15 个值得学习的单词，附发音和释义：

单词	发音	释义
poker 名词	/ˈpoʊkɚ/	撥火棍 /拨火棍, 火鉤子 /火钩子
mood 名词	/muːd/	心情, 情緒 /情绪
romantic 形容词	/ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/	浪漫
visible 形容词	/ˈvɪzɪb(ə)l/	看得見 /看得见, 可看見的 /可看见的
swing 动词	/ˈswɪŋ/	擺動 /摆动, 搖擺 /摇摆
sacrifice 名词	/ˈsæk.ɹɪ.faɪs/	犧牲 /牺牲
grandmother 名词	/ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/	奶奶, 祖母
hometown 名词	/ˈhoʊmˌtaʊn/	家鄉 /家乡, 故鄉 /故乡
confuse 动词	/kənˈfjuːz/	讓……困惑 /让……困惑
percentage 名词	/pə(ɹ)ˈsɛntɪd͡ʒ/	百分率, 百分比
rarely 副词	/ˈɹɛəɹli/	很少, 罕有地
dramatic 形容词	/dɹəˈmætɪk/	戲劇的 /戏剧的
buddy	/ˈbʌdi/	哥兒 /哥儿, 伙伴
friendship 名词	/ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/	友誼 /友谊, 友情
scary 形容词	/ˈskɛə.ɹi/	恐怖

视频中出现的短语动词

单词	释义
pass away 动词	去世, 逝世
show up 动词	露面
fall out 动词	掉出來 /掉出来
go through 动词	通過 /通过
grow up 动词	長大 /长大

视频中的语法

说话人最常用的结构，并附上视频中的原话：

结构	视频中的用法
现在完成时 have/has + 过去分词 — 过去发生但与现在仍有关联的事	I've come · I've even started · has been
被动语态 be + 过去分词 — 强调发生了什么，而不是谁做的	is reciprocated · be done · is returned

需要注意的发音

说话人用了 39 次缩略和弱读形式，例如 I'm, didn't, don't。请按听到的简短形式来说。

“th” 音: grandmother /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/, grandfather /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌfɑðɚ/, brotherly /ˈbɹʌð.ɚ.li/
“sh” 和 “zh” 音: intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, representation /ˌɹɛp.ɹə.zɛnˈteɪ.ʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, obligation /ˌɑ.blɪˈɡeɪ.ʃn̩/
长单词——注意重音位置: representation /ˌɹɛp.ɹə.zɛnˈteɪ.ʃən/, inevitably /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbli/, exemplify /ɛɡˈzɛmplɪfaɪ/, reciprocate /ɹɪˈsɪpɹəˌkeɪt/, reciprocity /ˌrɛsəˈprɑsəti/

中文母语者容易读错的音：

/v/ — 不要读成 /w/，上齿轻触下唇: visible /ˈvɪzɪb(ə)l/, divorce /dɪˈvɔːs/, actively /ˈæktɪvli/, vulnerable /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/, virtue /ˈvɝt͡ʃu/
词尾辅音 — 要读清楚，后面不要加元音: mood /muːd/, romantic /ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/, sacrifice /ˈsæk.ɹɪ.faɪs/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/, anyways /ˈɛn.iˌweɪz/
/r/ 和 /l/ 的区别: regardless /ɹɪˈɡɑɹd.lɪs/, rarely /ˈɹɛəɹli/, relate /ɹɪˈleɪt/, vulnerable /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/, purely /ˈpjʊɹli/

如何用这段视频练习

先完整听一遍视频，不要开口，记下不认识的单词。
先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟读，熟练之后再回到正常速度。
录下自己的声音并与原声对比，特别注意 poker, mood, romantic 这类单词。

什么是跟读法？

跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟读法: 阅读完整分步指南 →

跟读练习: love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them - 通过视频学习英语口语

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