쉐도잉 연습: love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

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One of the biggest issues with our generation is that we believe love is a feeling as opposed to an act.

And because of that, it can be very easy to confuse it with lust, which leads to a whole number of separate issues.

But I think that after reading Dostoevsky, after spending a lot of time studying philosophy,

I've come to realize that life is about the actions that you take.

And the way that you ultimately feel about someone is reciprocated in the actions,

except the actions are more pure and it sort of acts as a filter.

In other words, if you love someone, you are going to show up for them every single day, regardless of how you feel.

Not that you're going to be perfect, but you're going to actively try to hear them out.

You're going to try to understand them and you're going to try to create the best relationship possible.

But when love is just a feeling, that means that you are heavily susceptible to emotions and mood swinging,

you know, chemical changes in your brain over time,

you know, beauty fades and beauty directly changes the way that we view and feel about certain people.

And so you basically are just leaving yourself vulnerable to the many things

which will inevitably happen in life that could change the way that you then treat someone.

And I'm a big believer in the sort of Aristotle view, in Aristotle's view of who an individual is.

Who you are is what you do, not what you think, not the intentions that you had, not what you wish to happen, right?

It's what you do.

And I think as it relates to relationships, your relationships is how you treat each other and love is a, is an action.

It is a visible thing.

Like you can see someone loving someone else, right?

I remember talking to my grandfather,

um, but after my grandmother had passed away and he was just the way that he talks about my grandmother was like,

he was just so, so in love with her.

Even after, you know, he's 80 years old, she's passed away.

And the way that he talks about her, I, it just, I realized that it was so much deeper.

Um, and there were so many actions behind everything and they showed up for each other constantly.

I mean, it's one of those things where you just can't deny it.

And then I'm sure that there were other people that are old now,

and maybe they got divorced or the broken up or whatever.

And a lot of that was because they felt a certain way in the moment.

And that was, they were confusing lust for love or they had love,

but they didn't continue to show up for each other after you know five ten years of marriage

because they kind of sort of felt like it was an obligation to stay together

and so it fell apart you know i i'm very very blessed

and lucky to have um two parents that are still together

and that love each other

and sort of exemplify to me what it looks like where you know

you you decide you make a decision a decision

that oftentimes is not the easy one to make

and you do it every day because you care about this person more than you

and I've even started to realize this

because love doesn't always have to be romantic I feel like what I've been talking about in this video

so far has been purely romantic but even even in friendships right

if you love someone like a brother then you are willing to compromise certain things I think about

this when I was in um my later years of high school I remember

that there was this guy that I knew and I wanted to basically be friends with this guy.

And, and, you know, we had been friends like on and off there.

It's never like we had a dramatic, like falling out or something, but just on and off throughout growing up as one does.

And he said, um, it was, it was one of the later summers in my high school.

And he was like, yeah, man, you know, we should hang out sometime over the summer.

And I really, I had no friends.

So I was like, definitely down to do it.

And every single time

that uh you know i'd offer to do something with this guy

he would always be like well i'm playing poker with the guys

and let's let's find another night but literally every single night

that i would ever and and i didn't really contact him

that much to be fair

but he would always be like oh yeah i'm playing poker oh yeah i'm playing poker

and i realized it was like if he actually cared to be friends with me

and cared about the relationship

and had a sort of brotherly love then he would have said

you know what i'm going to make the time to do something

that i could do with him you might be like well why didn't

you do poker well i was completely broke

i didn't have enough money to play poker there was a buy -in

and also i just don't like to play it in general

so it didn't really make sense for me to go

and play poker with the group that he was playing with anyways that's besides the point

Thank you i just realized in that moment

that was such a big learning opportunity for me

that it's like the actions the way that somebody treats you and what they're willing to sacrifice um for you is

the literal like the visible um coming to life of love and most people

that i mean this goes way over their head i feel like uh you know another thing is

that your intentions don't erase the consequences of your behavior.

And so most people don't understand this because I'm sure in his head, he was like, well, I do want to hang out with this guy,

but you know, it's just poker.

There were a lot, there were a lot of other guys.

So it just kind of was the path of least resistance, whatever, excuse me.

But the reality is if you love someone, you make the time, you make the effort,

you make the sacrifice, you do what needs to be done.

And that's just, that's how life is.

That's how life is.

When I was in college, there was one time where a buddy of mine who lived six and a half hours away said,

I need a ride home for, and I was in our hometown and, you know, he was six and a half hours away,

like I just said, but he needed a ride home for the holidays.

And I drove six and a half hours to meet him.

And then six and a half hours back to go back to our hometown.

And I did this because I was like, this is what you do for someone.

And, you know, I, I mean, I guess it's a different point of view that I'm going to have because I'm Christian,

but like life is about acts of service and doing things for people, even if there's no reciprocity in it,

you know, somebody is not always going to treat you the way that you treat them.

And in my limited experience of life, I have realized that I always, almost always am willing to go the extra mile for other people,

but that rarely ever is returned to me.

And I like, that's not what the value of things is based off of.

You do things because in general, I consider myself to be, I'm not trying to virtue signal,

but I do consider myself to be a loving person in the sense that I like people specifically as individuals in groups,

you know, it gets questionable, but as individuals, you know, I like to help people.

And I think that that's a good thing.

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And I think almost everybody likes to help people.

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I think this is like a natural, you know, you feel good when you help people.

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I've never met someone that doesn't like to help people, but anyways, love is like, Hey, I'm going to show up.

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I'm going to do this.

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And it's just sad to see that most people don't make that effort.

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And I think what's scary is to think about when our generation starts to get married.

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And by the way, a lot of people are you know,

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the percentage of people that are getting married is getting lower and lower as time goes on.

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But I think what we're seeing is, or what we're going to see is a lot of people aren't going to stay married for very long

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because they don't know what it's like to commit through hard times, through aging, through, you know,

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the different mood swings or periods of life that people go through.

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And it just is a, is the, uh, sort of symbolic representation of failing love.

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That's what I think.

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Um, yeah, it's not just getting along with someone.

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It's not just being physically attracted to someone.

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It's not just having your interests be aligned for, you know, a finite period of time.

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It's so much more.

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It's, it's the actions that's showing up every day but yeah those are my thoughts thank you guys for watching

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이 레슨의 어휘와 말하기 포인트

이 말하기 레슨은 영상 “love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them”을(를) 바탕으로 합니다. 이 영상에는 섀도잉할 문장 117개와 단어 1611개가 있습니다. 말하는 구간의 길이는 8:37입니다. 화자는 분당 약 187단어로 빠르게 말하므로 연음과 약하게 발음되는 소리가 많습니다. 단어의 87%가 영어에서 가장 많이 쓰이는 3,000단어에 속해 어휘가 쉬운 편입니다.

이 영상의 핵심 어휘

영상에 나오는 익혀 둘 만한 단어 15개를 발음, 뜻과 함께 정리했습니다.

단어	발음	뜻
poker 명사	/ˈpoʊkɚ/	부지깽이
mood 명사	/muːd/	기분
romantic 형용사	/ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/	로맨틱하다
visible 형용사	/ˈvɪzɪb(ə)l/	보이는
swing 동사	/ˈswɪŋ/	그네뛰다
sacrifice 명사	/ˈsæk.ɹɪ.faɪs/	희생
grandmother 명사	/ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/	할머니, 외할머니
hometown 명사	/ˈhoʊmˌtaʊn/	고향
confuse 동사	/kənˈfjuːz/	혼란시키다
percentage 명사	/pə(ɹ)ˈsɛntɪd͡ʒ/	백분율, 백분비
dramatic 형용사	/dɹəˈmætɪk/	극적
friendship 명사	/ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/	우정, 우의
scary 형용사	/ˈskɛə.ɹi/	공포의, 무섭다
divorce 명사	/dɪˈvɔːs/	이혼, 리혼
deny 동사	/dəˈnaɪ/	부정하다, 부인하다

영상에 나오는 구동사

단어	뜻
pass away 동사	돌아가시다

이 영상의 문법

화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.

문형	영상 속 표현
현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때	I've come · I've even started · has been
수동태 be + 과거분사 — 누가 하는지보다 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 초점	is reciprocated · be done · is returned

주의할 발음

화자는 I'm, didn't, don't 같은 축약형과 약화된 형태를 39번 사용합니다. 들리는 대로 짧게 발음하세요.

“th” 소리: grandmother /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/, grandfather /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌfɑðɚ/, brotherly /ˈbɹʌð.ɚ.li/
“sh”와 “zh” 소리: intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, representation /ˌɹɛp.ɹə.zɛnˈteɪ.ʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, obligation /ˌɑ.blɪˈɡeɪ.ʃn̩/
긴 단어 — 강세 위치에 주의: representation /ˌɹɛp.ɹə.zɛnˈteɪ.ʃən/, inevitably /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbli/, exemplify /ɛɡˈzɛmplɪfaɪ/, reciprocate /ɹɪˈsɪpɹəˌkeɪt/, reciprocity /ˌrɛsəˈprɑsəti/

한국어 화자가 어려워하는 소리:

/f/ — ㅍ(/p/)으로 바꾸지 말고 윗니를 아랫입술에 대기: sacrifice /ˈsæk.ɹɪ.faɪs/, confuse /kənˈfjuːz/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, physically /ˈfɪz.ɪ.kli/, filter /ˈfɪltɚ/
/v/ — ㅂ(/b/)과 구별하기: visible /ˈvɪzɪb(ə)l/, divorce /dɪˈvɔːs/, actively /ˈæktɪvli/, vulnerable /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/, virtue /ˈvɝt͡ʃu/
/z/ — ㅈ이 아니라 성대를 울리는 /s/: visible /ˈvɪzɪb(ə)l/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/, anyways /ˈɛn.iˌweɪz/, confuse /kənˈfjuːz/, representation /ˌɹɛp.ɹə.zɛnˈteɪ.ʃən/

이 영상으로 연습하는 방법

먼저 말하지 않고 영상을 끝까지 듣고 모르는 단어를 적어 둡니다.
0.75배속으로 한 문장씩 섀도잉을 시작하고, 익숙해지면 보통 속도로 돌아갑니다.
자신의 목소리를 녹음해 원본과 비교하고, poker, mood, romantic 같은 단어에 특히 주의합니다.

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

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쉐도잉 연습: love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

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