Shadowing Practice: How To Know If Someone Is Actually Right For You - Learn English Speaking with Video
Elige un modo de práctica
Cada modo abre una sala de práctica a pantalla completa.
250 oraciones
Si las oraciones son demasiado cortas o largas, haz clic en Editar para ajustarlas.
1
We've all heard the saying, you do not get to choose the family you were born into, however you do choose the family that you grow into.
2
I'm Cam, I'm 21, I get the internet perspective and my goal is to impact the world in one post at a time.
3
Today I will be teaching you how to choose a good partner.
4
A lot of people date backwards, they meet someone, they feel the chemistry and then they imagine a future and then later on they start asking, are we actually compatible?
5
But what most people don't realize is by then, you already want that answer to be yes regardless whatever.
6
And then we start excusing things, we lower our standards, we ignore mismatches, and then we start trying to turn a person's potential and force that into compatibility.
7
But I don't want that for you.
8
Because the faster you emotionally commit to a person, the harder it becomes to evaluate whether this relationship is what you need.
9
You would think we're starting this off talking about what
10
that person should look like for you
11
and no we're not talking about them we're going to talk about you
12
because you cannot choose the right person
13
if you don't even know what right looks like for yourself we're going to use four things
14
and i promise they will help you to identify better partners
15
and make better decisions let's get straight into it first things first you have to know yourself
16
and i mean like actually know yourself the reality is not a lot of people know themselves
17
and that really seeps in into how they express themselves
18
or how they look for partners i want someone who's funny attractive
19
and nice okay everyone does i'm talking about what kind of
20
life are you trying to build for yourself what do you
21
believe what do you value how do you communicate what are
22
your non -negotiables do you want children does religion matter to you how important is money family ambition affection independence
23
because i want you to imagine something you really want kids kids are cool for you
24
and then you meet someone who's attractive kind funny
25
but absolutely does not want kids see now you don't have a chemistry problem you have a compatibility problem
26
or maybe your faith you believe in god
27
or whatever religion you believe in and you that's
28
so important to you right and then you start dating someone who constantly belittles it
29
or doesn't even believe it all
30
and just makes it look smaller than it actually is for you see now beautiful boys
31
and girls you can really like
32
that person you can have great chemistry you guys can have amazing dates
33
and you can still not be compatible i need us to
34
understand this clearly compatibility is not do i enjoy you compatibility
35
is can who you are coexist with the life i'm trying to build
36
and you can't identify what compatibility is if you've never identified it for yourself
37
but i'm not the guy who just gives you insights i'm
38
the guy who gives you advice here's what i want you
39
to actually do today open your notes app you're going to
40
make three simple lists the life i want what i need in a partner
41
and what i cannot build around i want you to be ultra specific here
42
because this is how you actually find out who you're going to become
43
and who you want to be in your life you can't
44
say things like oh they need to be nice that's a given okay
45
that everyone wants someone who's nice you You can write something like, we need to be able to communicate or disagree without them insulting me.
46
People have conversations and conflicts and it gets really violent.
47
People can be nice, but people can be very disrespectful when communication is brought into the picture.
48
So define that for yourself.
49
Do you want someone who can communicate with you and doesn't turn things into disrespectful combat?
50
You don't write something like family matters, family matters that should be a given.
51
You write something like, I want children
52
and I need someone who genuinely wants to raise them too
53
because anyone can want kids but are you ready are you active enough to be in
54
that child's life and grow with them
55
and grow for them do not write i want someone ambitious that's too broad that's too vague
56
and honestly that's a little too high of a bar you
57
will write i need someone who takes their future seriously
58
because it's one thing for you to not have goals
59
because it's one thing for you to just be living your life
60
and it's another to actually have goals having someone who has goals
61
and has a sense of purpose and direction
62
that is something you should be looking for in a partner it is
63
so important that you understand
64
if you cannot define what you are looking for you are
65
going to choose based off of what feels good in the
66
moment separate chemistry from compatibility guys guys guys chemistry is dangerous
67
when you confuse it for evidence when you feel butterflies for a person
68
that just means
69
that person can affect you right seeing them being around them
70
talking to them it makes you feel a kind of way that doesn't automatically mean that person is good for you.
71
It just means they make you feel something.
72
So here's how the timeline usually goes.
73
You see someone nice, you meet them on Monday, right?
74
And you're texting until 4 a .m.
75
And you figure out, wow, this person is amazing.
76
Tuesday, you start texting them more and you're planning a date on Wednesday.
77
You go on the date Wednesday.
78
It's an amazing date.
79
Thursday night, you're planning the next date and you guys are talking great. And Friday.
80
You tell yourself, I've never connected with anyone like this in my life.
81
Maybe, maybe you've never connected with anyone like that.
82
But guys, it has only been five days.
83
It's not even a week yet.
84
You know how they flirt.
85
You know what music they like.
86
Maybe you guys did some trauma dumping.
87
So now you know their childhood.
88
Because somehow maybe we got there on Tuesday night when we were talking on the phone till 4am.
89
But you do not know how they handle anger.
90
You don't know how they handle their money.
91
You don't know if they keep promises.
92
You don't know how they respond when you tell them no.
93
and you don't know who they become when they stop trying to impress you
94
when the butterflies have faded guys i'm not trying to be the rain on your parade
95
but what you have is intensity it's not evidence
96
and recently i just heard a podcast
97
that psychology actually has a name for people like this for people who tend to fall in love too quickly
98
and easily it's called emophilia i want you to look
99
that up on your own it's it's an actual psychological trait
100
and it's not a diagnosis But people higher in emophilia tend to just go deeper into the whole romance cycle.
101
They just tend to fall in love literally faster.
102
So if you can think back and realize that, oh my God, maybe you actually did fall in love with someone too fast.
103
Okay, I need you to pause.
104
If this is you, listen very carefully.
105
Feeling emotions fast does not mean you have to choose fast.
106
There is a big difference.
107
You can say, I really like this person.
108
And you can also say, but I don't know them yet both can be true and
109
if you realize that
110
that is maturity you can't always control how quickly your heart
111
responds to a person these are feelings right you fall in
112
love fast you catch feelings it's normal you can't control
113
that what you do control however is how fast you give another person a permanent position in your life so
114
if you know you're the type of person who falls fast
115
for another person i need you to just give yourself a
116
rule this is what i want to teach you Do not make major emotional decisions during the emotional rush.
117
Don't start planning your entire future after two incredible weeks.
118
Don't ignore something very important that you've noticed.
119
Maybe a red flag because I really like them.
120
No, guys, guys, no. The moment you feel yourself getting attached, you need to ask yourself, what do I actually know about this person?
121
And then ask, what am I hoping is just true?
122
Because we tend to have two different versions.
123
The versions of the person we see right in front of us and the versions we have of them in our head.
124
So if this is someone you find yourself falling really deeply in love with fast, you need to stop yourself.
125
Open the notes app again, two columns, facts and assumptions.
126
Write down what you know and write down what you're already assuming and planning and fantasize.
127
This one exercise will save you from confusing the person you have right in front of you
128
with the person you have in your head.
129
I really don't want you falling too fast and then you end up hurting, okay?
130
No. Third, you have to observe this is where time becomes your best friend
131
because people can say a lot of things someone can tell
132
you i'm super respectful i'm super nice i'm caring okay
133
but you need to watch them when things don't go their way
134
when situations come up and they are put in positions where how they feel
135
contradicts what they say how do they show up for you
136
this is what you really really need to watch for
137
because they can tell you they're respectful
138
but the moment you tell them no they get mad
139
and they start making you do something you don't want to do they could tell you they're great at communication
140
or communication is important to them but then you guys have your first disagreement
141
and they don't they don't even try to fix anything they shut down they walk away
142
or they completely disregard your emotions and most importantly anyone can say i take accountability
143
but when they mess up watch how they take care of
144
that are they able to accept it are they able to
145
fix it those are the things you really really need to
146
watch out for the thing with us as people is
147
that we can describe ourselves beautifully there is no one else
148
that can talk about us better than us
149
so you need to watch what a person shows you need to watch what they become
150
when being a good partner costs them something
151
so take for example let's say um you tell them like hey i'm not comfortable with
152
that thing whatever it is right and
153
if the person you're with right they listen they ask questions
154
they actually try to understand you maybe they disagree right
155
but they don't punish you for having a boundary all these
156
things are good signs of a good person now a bad
157
sign they pout they pressure you they mock you they disrespect
158
you you know they give you the silent treatment make you
159
feel bad about something they do all these things until your boundaries disappear
160
that singular moment is what will tell you more about this
161
person than all the chemistry all the amazing dates in the world you may have both had
162
and it is
163
so important you watch how they treat people the way they
164
interact with other people matters a lot their family waiters at
165
restaurants homeless people people around them just in general you need
166
to observe these behaviors in the person you're not looking to actively scrutinize a person for who they are
167
but don't ignore the signs happening right in front of you
168
anyone can charm anyone charm is easy to show up when you have nothing to gain from it but character
169
Character is something that shows up when you have nothing to gain from it.
170
That, my friends, is what I want you to watch out for.
171
So your most important job here is to stop asking, how do they treat you?
172
How they treat you is important, yes.
173
But you need to ask yourself, who do they become when life becomes inconvenient?
174
That is what you want to watch out for.
175
When they're tired, frustrated, when plans change for them, when you both disagree, agree when you tell them no, or even when they make a mistake.
176
You want to keep track of patterns, not moments.
177
I will never support you having to remember every single bad instance, but if it is a pattern, if it is repeatable, watch out, pay attention and don't ignore it.
178
One bad day does not define a person.
179
Several repeated habits is no longer a bad day.
180
That is information and what you do with that information matters.
181
You gotta compare and then choose.
182
Now I want you to take what you know about yourself
183
and then I want you to compare it to what this person has consistently shown you.
184
Not what they could become.
185
We have to abandon the whole imagination and potential of things.
186
What they have consistently shown you.
187
So you don't just tell yourself, oh my god, they would be so perfect only if they communicated better.
188
You know, once they mature here, I'm positive things are going to go well.
189
I know they have so much potential.
190
They're not really like this guys.
191
I don't know how many times I need to say it.
192
Potential is not compatibility.
193
You are dating the person or going to date the person that is right in front of you, not the person they could potentially turn into.
194
And that is why standards matter so much.
195
And you need to understand standards are not six foot tall, makes a lot of money.
196
She has to be super skinny and thin and look really beautiful blonde hair.
197
Those are not standards, people.
198
Those are preferences.
199
Every Every single attribute you want physically in a person is an attribute and there's absolutely nothing wrong with those.
200
We all have our preferences, but honesty, that's a standard respect.
201
That's a standard accountability, consistency, shared values.
202
All those are standards.
203
Preference will always decide who attracts you.
204
That's how that works.
205
But your standards, when you bring them into the picture decides who gets to stay
206
when they're in your life and your standards will mean absolutely nothing
207
if the moment you find someone attractive makes you want to stop enforcing them
208
so it's so important you understand that before you make this person
209
or give this person a special position in your life you go back to
210
that list we made at the start of the video
211
and you actually ask yourself does this person actually meet what i said matters to me
212
and not telling yourself could they eventually become this person i need
213
and it's so important i let you know
214
if something doesn't match immediately that's okay people learn people grow
215
but you have to ask yourself
216
and maybe them realistically is this something we can fix or are you trying to negotiate your standards
217
just so someone can fit the picture just because you're attached
218
that is the difference between choosing a person and simply keeping someone just
219
because you fell for them
220
and there's something really big i want to emphasize on you know
221
when people say oh the partner you have is a reflection
222
of who you are good people still choose bad people people lie people manipulate people hide certain parts of themselves
223
and sometimes we don't discover who a person actually is until much much later
224
so choosing wrong doesn't mean you love yourself any less
225
but what you repeatedly allow access to after you now know
226
that says a lot about the standards you're willing to enforce
227
you don't prove you love yourself by never choosing the wrong person it's impossible we can't know everything
228
but you prove your self -love for yourself
229
when you do something about the knowledge you now know
230
and you do something that is in your best interest
231
so let's run it back one more time know yourself you
232
have to know who you are before you choose someone else
233
figure out your standards your boundaries what you actually want from a person
234
and what you want for yourself separate chemistry from compatibility those aren't the same thing
235
and you don't want to confuse having a good time with someone with you and
236
that person actually being a fit you have to observe the patterns you see don't fall for moments observe patterns
237
if someone repeatedly shows you
238
that they are not who they say they are do something
239
about it compare who they are to the life you want for yourself
240
and then you choose if you want this or not not
241
because you're afraid of falling in love in fact fall in love love is a beautiful thing
242
when done with the right person Just don't let attachment make
243
the decision for you before your observation hasn't even gotten a chance to finish.
244
A good partner is not just someone you love, right?
245
We love a lot of people.
246
We can love anyone.
247
A good partner is someone whose characters, values, and direction make loving them feel safe enough to build a life around.
248
I hope this helped in any way at all.
249
And if you ever want to talk to me one -on -one, you can, n -o -r -3 -m -a -k .com.
250
As always, I'm Cam, and I'll see you in the next one.
Descargar app
Todo lo que necesitas para hablar con fluidez
Pronunciación con IAEvalúa cada oración
Práctica de IPADomina cada sonido
VocabularioConstruye tu banco de palabras
Juego de vocabularioAprende mientras juegas
FOR YOU
Recomendar Video
B25
185 oraciones
How to Find Someone You Can Be With Forever
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
449 oraciones
Study yourself to become confident
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
176 oraciones
What Actually Drives Attraction (According to Psychology)
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
50 oraciones
How would you describe your personality?
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
165 oraciones
How Do I Know if I Made the Wrong Choice?
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
221 oraciones
find your soul first, then your soulmate
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
460 oraciones
Tristan Tate speaking basic ways to improve as a man
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2156 oraciones
Things nobody told me before I turned 27
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
146 oraciones
You have to get to a point where you're not afraid of being rejected for being yourself
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C12
637 oraciones
Why We Choose the Partners We Choose
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
103 oraciones
You're about to meet them
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B25
148 oraciones
If you never had a girlfriend, this video is for you
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección
Este vídeo tiene 250 frases y 3001 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 14:54. El hablante habla rápido, unas 202 palabras por minuto, así que espera sonidos enlazados y reducidos. El 90 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés, por lo que el vocabulario es fácil de seguir.
Vocabulario clave de este vídeo
15 palabras del vídeo que vale la pena aprender, con su pronunciación y significado:
| Palabra | Pronunciación | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| compatibility sustantivo | /kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/ | compatibilidad |
| chemistry sustantivo | /ˈkɛm.ɪ.stɹi/ | química |
| ignore verbo | /ɪɡˈnɔː/ | ignorar, desoír |
| observe verbo | /əbˈzɜːv/ | servar, observar |
| compare verbo | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | comparar, parangonar |
| define verbo | /dɪˈfaɪn/ | determinar, definir |
| boundary sustantivo | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | linde, lindero |
| preference sustantivo | /ˈpɹɛf(ə)ɹ(ə)ns/ | preferencia |
| disagree verbo | /dɪsəˈɡɹi/ | no estar de acuerdo, desacordar |
| confuse verbo | /kənˈfjuːz/ | confundir, barahustar |
| connect verbo | /kəˈnɛkt/ | conectar, empalmar |
| consistently adverbio | /kənˈsɪstəntli/ | consistentemente |
| repeatedly adverbio | /ɹɪˈpiːtɪdli/ | reiteradamente, repetidamente |
| emotion sustantivo | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | afecto, emoción |
| charm sustantivo | /t͡ʃɑɹm/ | encanto |
Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar
| Palabra | Significado |
|---|---|
| figure out verbo | averiguar, captar |
| show up verbo | comparecer, personarse |
| write down verbo | apuntar, anotar |
| come up verbo | salir a relucir |
| end up verbo | terminar, ir a parar |
| find out verbo | averiguar, anoticiarse |
| mess up verbo | desbarajustar, desbarahustar |
| shut down verbo | apagar |
Gramática en este vídeo
Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:
| Estructura | En el vídeo |
|---|---|
| Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa | someone who constantly · guy who just · guy who gives |
| Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora | you've never identified · I've never connected · you've never connected |
| Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace | were born · is brought · are put |
Pronunciación a tener en cuenta
El hablante usa 80 contracciones y formas reducidas, como don't, I'm, you're. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.
- Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, imagination /ɪˌmæd͡ʒəˈneɪʃən/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/
- Palabras largas — cuida el acento: compatibility /kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, repeatedly /ɹɪˈpiːtɪdli/, compatible /kəmˈpæt.ə.bəl/
Cómo practicar con este vídeo
- Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
- Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
- Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como compatibility, chemistry, ignore.
¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.