Практика Shadowing: How To Know If Someone Is Actually Right For You - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

Выберите режим практики

Каждый режим открывает полноэкранную комнату практики.

250 предложений

Если предложения слишком короткие или длинные, нажмите Edit, чтобы их изменить.

We've all heard the saying, you do not get to choose the family you were born into, however you do choose the family that you grow into.

I'm Cam, I'm 21, I get the internet perspective and my goal is to impact the world in one post at a time.

Today I will be teaching you how to choose a good partner.

A lot of people date backwards, they meet someone, they feel the chemistry and then they imagine a future and then later on they start asking, are we actually compatible?

But what most people don't realize is by then, you already want that answer to be yes regardless whatever.

And then we start excusing things, we lower our standards, we ignore mismatches, and then we start trying to turn a person's potential and force that into compatibility.

But I don't want that for you.

Because the faster you emotionally commit to a person, the harder it becomes to evaluate whether this relationship is what you need.

You would think we're starting this off talking about what

that person should look like for you

and no we're not talking about them we're going to talk about you

because you cannot choose the right person

if you don't even know what right looks like for yourself we're going to use four things

and i promise they will help you to identify better partners

and make better decisions let's get straight into it first things first you have to know yourself

and i mean like actually know yourself the reality is not a lot of people know themselves

and that really seeps in into how they express themselves

or how they look for partners i want someone who's funny attractive

and nice okay everyone does i'm talking about what kind of

life are you trying to build for yourself what do you

believe what do you value how do you communicate what are

your non -negotiables do you want children does religion matter to you how important is money family ambition affection independence

because i want you to imagine something you really want kids kids are cool for you

and then you meet someone who's attractive kind funny

but absolutely does not want kids see now you don't have a chemistry problem you have a compatibility problem

or maybe your faith you believe in god

or whatever religion you believe in and you that's

so important to you right and then you start dating someone who constantly belittles it

or doesn't even believe it all

and just makes it look smaller than it actually is for you see now beautiful boys

and girls you can really like

that person you can have great chemistry you guys can have amazing dates

and you can still not be compatible i need us to

understand this clearly compatibility is not do i enjoy you compatibility

is can who you are coexist with the life i'm trying to build

and you can't identify what compatibility is if you've never identified it for yourself

but i'm not the guy who just gives you insights i'm

the guy who gives you advice here's what i want you

to actually do today open your notes app you're going to

make three simple lists the life i want what i need in a partner

and what i cannot build around i want you to be ultra specific here

because this is how you actually find out who you're going to become

and who you want to be in your life you can't

say things like oh they need to be nice that's a given okay

that everyone wants someone who's nice you You can write something like, we need to be able to communicate or disagree without them insulting me.

People have conversations and conflicts and it gets really violent.

People can be nice, but people can be very disrespectful when communication is brought into the picture.

So define that for yourself.

Do you want someone who can communicate with you and doesn't turn things into disrespectful combat?

You don't write something like family matters, family matters that should be a given.

You write something like, I want children

and I need someone who genuinely wants to raise them too

because anyone can want kids but are you ready are you active enough to be in

that child's life and grow with them

and grow for them do not write i want someone ambitious that's too broad that's too vague

and honestly that's a little too high of a bar you

will write i need someone who takes their future seriously

because it's one thing for you to not have goals

because it's one thing for you to just be living your life

and it's another to actually have goals having someone who has goals

and has a sense of purpose and direction

that is something you should be looking for in a partner it is

so important that you understand

if you cannot define what you are looking for you are

going to choose based off of what feels good in the

moment separate chemistry from compatibility guys guys guys chemistry is dangerous

when you confuse it for evidence when you feel butterflies for a person

that just means

that person can affect you right seeing them being around them

talking to them it makes you feel a kind of way that doesn't automatically mean that person is good for you.

It just means they make you feel something.

So here's how the timeline usually goes.

You see someone nice, you meet them on Monday, right?

And you're texting until 4 a .m.

And you figure out, wow, this person is amazing.

Tuesday, you start texting them more and you're planning a date on Wednesday.

You go on the date Wednesday.

It's an amazing date.

Thursday night, you're planning the next date and you guys are talking great. And Friday.

You tell yourself, I've never connected with anyone like this in my life.

Maybe, maybe you've never connected with anyone like that.

But guys, it has only been five days.

It's not even a week yet.

You know how they flirt.

You know what music they like.

Maybe you guys did some trauma dumping.

So now you know their childhood.

Because somehow maybe we got there on Tuesday night when we were talking on the phone till 4am.

But you do not know how they handle anger.

You don't know how they handle their money.

You don't know if they keep promises.

You don't know how they respond when you tell them no.

and you don't know who they become when they stop trying to impress you

when the butterflies have faded guys i'm not trying to be the rain on your parade

but what you have is intensity it's not evidence

and recently i just heard a podcast

that psychology actually has a name for people like this for people who tend to fall in love too quickly

and easily it's called emophilia i want you to look

that up on your own it's it's an actual psychological trait

100

and it's not a diagnosis But people higher in emophilia tend to just go deeper into the whole romance cycle.

101

They just tend to fall in love literally faster.

102

So if you can think back and realize that, oh my God, maybe you actually did fall in love with someone too fast.

103

Okay, I need you to pause.

104

If this is you, listen very carefully.

105

Feeling emotions fast does not mean you have to choose fast.

106

There is a big difference.

107

You can say, I really like this person.

108

And you can also say, but I don't know them yet both can be true and

109

if you realize that

110

that is maturity you can't always control how quickly your heart

111

responds to a person these are feelings right you fall in

112

love fast you catch feelings it's normal you can't control

113

that what you do control however is how fast you give another person a permanent position in your life so

114

if you know you're the type of person who falls fast

115

for another person i need you to just give yourself a

116

rule this is what i want to teach you Do not make major emotional decisions during the emotional rush.

117

Don't start planning your entire future after two incredible weeks.

118

Don't ignore something very important that you've noticed.

119

Maybe a red flag because I really like them.

120

No, guys, guys, no. The moment you feel yourself getting attached, you need to ask yourself, what do I actually know about this person?

121

And then ask, what am I hoping is just true?

122

Because we tend to have two different versions.

123

The versions of the person we see right in front of us and the versions we have of them in our head.

124

So if this is someone you find yourself falling really deeply in love with fast, you need to stop yourself.

125

Open the notes app again, two columns, facts and assumptions.

126

Write down what you know and write down what you're already assuming and planning and fantasize.

127

This one exercise will save you from confusing the person you have right in front of you

128

with the person you have in your head.

129

I really don't want you falling too fast and then you end up hurting, okay?

130

No. Third, you have to observe this is where time becomes your best friend

131

because people can say a lot of things someone can tell

132

you i'm super respectful i'm super nice i'm caring okay

133

but you need to watch them when things don't go their way

134

when situations come up and they are put in positions where how they feel

135

contradicts what they say how do they show up for you

136

this is what you really really need to watch for

137

because they can tell you they're respectful

138

but the moment you tell them no they get mad

139

and they start making you do something you don't want to do they could tell you they're great at communication

140

or communication is important to them but then you guys have your first disagreement

141

and they don't they don't even try to fix anything they shut down they walk away

142

or they completely disregard your emotions and most importantly anyone can say i take accountability

143

but when they mess up watch how they take care of

144

that are they able to accept it are they able to

145

fix it those are the things you really really need to

146

watch out for the thing with us as people is

147

that we can describe ourselves beautifully there is no one else

148

that can talk about us better than us

149

so you need to watch what a person shows you need to watch what they become

150

when being a good partner costs them something

151

so take for example let's say um you tell them like hey i'm not comfortable with

152

that thing whatever it is right and

153

if the person you're with right they listen they ask questions

154

they actually try to understand you maybe they disagree right

155

but they don't punish you for having a boundary all these

156

things are good signs of a good person now a bad

157

sign they pout they pressure you they mock you they disrespect

158

you you know they give you the silent treatment make you

159

feel bad about something they do all these things until your boundaries disappear

160

that singular moment is what will tell you more about this

161

person than all the chemistry all the amazing dates in the world you may have both had

162

and it is

163

so important you watch how they treat people the way they

164

interact with other people matters a lot their family waiters at

165

restaurants homeless people people around them just in general you need

166

to observe these behaviors in the person you're not looking to actively scrutinize a person for who they are

167

but don't ignore the signs happening right in front of you

168

anyone can charm anyone charm is easy to show up when you have nothing to gain from it but character

169

Character is something that shows up when you have nothing to gain from it.

170

That, my friends, is what I want you to watch out for.

171

So your most important job here is to stop asking, how do they treat you?

172

How they treat you is important, yes.

173

But you need to ask yourself, who do they become when life becomes inconvenient?

174

That is what you want to watch out for.

175

When they're tired, frustrated, when plans change for them, when you both disagree, agree when you tell them no, or even when they make a mistake.

176

You want to keep track of patterns, not moments.

177

I will never support you having to remember every single bad instance, but if it is a pattern, if it is repeatable, watch out, pay attention and don't ignore it.

178

One bad day does not define a person.

179

Several repeated habits is no longer a bad day.

180

That is information and what you do with that information matters.

181

You gotta compare and then choose.

182

Now I want you to take what you know about yourself

183

and then I want you to compare it to what this person has consistently shown you.

184

Not what they could become.

185

We have to abandon the whole imagination and potential of things.

186

What they have consistently shown you.

187

So you don't just tell yourself, oh my god, they would be so perfect only if they communicated better.

188

You know, once they mature here, I'm positive things are going to go well.

189

I know they have so much potential.

190

They're not really like this guys.

191

I don't know how many times I need to say it.

192

Potential is not compatibility.

193

You are dating the person or going to date the person that is right in front of you, not the person they could potentially turn into.

194

And that is why standards matter so much.

195

And you need to understand standards are not six foot tall, makes a lot of money.

196

She has to be super skinny and thin and look really beautiful blonde hair.

197

Those are not standards, people.

198

Those are preferences.

199

Every Every single attribute you want physically in a person is an attribute and there's absolutely nothing wrong with those.

200

We all have our preferences, but honesty, that's a standard respect.

201

That's a standard accountability, consistency, shared values.

202

All those are standards.

203

Preference will always decide who attracts you.

204

That's how that works.

205

But your standards, when you bring them into the picture decides who gets to stay

206

when they're in your life and your standards will mean absolutely nothing

207

if the moment you find someone attractive makes you want to stop enforcing them

208

so it's so important you understand that before you make this person

209

or give this person a special position in your life you go back to

210

that list we made at the start of the video

211

and you actually ask yourself does this person actually meet what i said matters to me

212

and not telling yourself could they eventually become this person i need

213

and it's so important i let you know

214

if something doesn't match immediately that's okay people learn people grow

215

but you have to ask yourself

216

and maybe them realistically is this something we can fix or are you trying to negotiate your standards

217

just so someone can fit the picture just because you're attached

218

that is the difference between choosing a person and simply keeping someone just

219

because you fell for them

220

and there's something really big i want to emphasize on you know

221

when people say oh the partner you have is a reflection

222

of who you are good people still choose bad people people lie people manipulate people hide certain parts of themselves

223

and sometimes we don't discover who a person actually is until much much later

224

so choosing wrong doesn't mean you love yourself any less

225

but what you repeatedly allow access to after you now know

226

that says a lot about the standards you're willing to enforce

227

you don't prove you love yourself by never choosing the wrong person it's impossible we can't know everything

228

but you prove your self -love for yourself

229

when you do something about the knowledge you now know

230

and you do something that is in your best interest

231

so let's run it back one more time know yourself you

232

have to know who you are before you choose someone else

233

figure out your standards your boundaries what you actually want from a person

234

and what you want for yourself separate chemistry from compatibility those aren't the same thing

235

and you don't want to confuse having a good time with someone with you and

236

that person actually being a fit you have to observe the patterns you see don't fall for moments observe patterns

237

if someone repeatedly shows you

238

that they are not who they say they are do something

239

about it compare who they are to the life you want for yourself

240

and then you choose if you want this or not not

241

because you're afraid of falling in love in fact fall in love love is a beautiful thing

242

when done with the right person Just don't let attachment make

243

the decision for you before your observation hasn't even gotten a chance to finish.

244

A good partner is not just someone you love, right?

245

We love a lot of people.

246

We can love anyone.

247

A good partner is someone whose characters, values, and direction make loving them feel safe enough to build a life around.

248

I hope this helped in any way at all.

249

And if you ever want to talk to me one -on -one, you can, n -o -r -3 -m -a -k .com.

250

As always, I'm Cam, and I'll see you in the next one.

Скачать приложение

Всё для свободной речи

ИИ-оценка произношенияОценка каждой фразы

Практика IPAОсвойте каждый звук

СловарьСоберите свой словарный запас

Игра со словамиУчитесь играя

Сканировать QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

FOR YOU

Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

В этом видео 250 предложений и 3001 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 14:54. Говорящий говорит быстро, около 202 слов в минуту, поэтому звуки часто сливаются и сокращаются. 90% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка, поэтому лексика простая.

Ключевая лексика этого видео

15 слов из видео, которые стоит выучить, с произношением и значением:

Слово	Произношение	Значение
compatibility существительное	/kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/	совмести́мость
chemistry существительное	/ˈkɛm.ɪ.stɹi/	хи́мия
ignore глагол	/ɪɡˈnɔː/	игнори́ровать, проигнори́ровать
communicate глагол	/kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/	сообща́ть, сообщи́ть
observe глагол	/əbˈzɜːv/	соблюда́ть, блюсти́
compare глагол	/kəmˈpɛɚ/	сра́внивать, сравни́ть
define глагол	/dɪˈfaɪn/	определя́ть, определи́ть
boundary существительное	/ˈbaʊndɹi/	грани́ца, межа́
preference существительное	/ˈpɹɛf(ə)ɹ(ə)ns/	предпочте́ние, префере́нция
disagree глагол	/dɪsəˈɡɹi/	не соглаша́ться
confuse глагол	/kənˈfjuːz/	пу́тать, запу́тать
connect глагол	/kəˈnɛkt/	свя́зывать, связа́ть
consistently наречие	/kənˈsɪstəntli/	после́довательно
repeatedly наречие	/ɹɪˈpiːtɪdli/	повто́рно, неоднокра́тно
emotion существительное	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	эмо́ция, чу́вство

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Слово	Значение
figure out глагол	разбира́ться, разобра́ться
show up глагол	объявля́ться, объяви́ться
write down глагол	запи́сывать, записа́ть
come up глагол	поднима́ться, подня́ться
end up глагол	зака́нчиваться, зако́нчиться
find out глагол	узнава́ть, узна́ть
shut down глагол	выключить, остановить
think back глагол	вспоминать

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете	someone who constantly · guy who just · guy who gives
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	you've never identified · I've never connected · you've never connected
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	were born · is brought · are put

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Говорящий использует 80 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например don't, I'm, you're. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.

Звуки «sh» и «zh»: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, imagination /ɪˌmæd͡ʒəˈneɪʃən/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/
Длинные слова — следите за ударением: compatibility /kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, repeatedly /ɹɪˈpiːtɪdli/, compatible /kəmˈpæt.ə.bəl/

Как заниматься с этим видео

Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
Начните со скорости 0,75×, повторяйте предложение за предложением и вернитесь к обычной скорости, когда станет легко.
Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как compatibility, chemistry, ignore.

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

Практика Shadowing: How To Know If Someone Is Actually Right For You - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

Выберите режим практики

Скачать приложение

Рекомендуемое видео

How to Find Someone You Can Be With Forever

Study yourself to become confident

What Actually Drives Attraction (According to Psychology)

How would you describe your personality?

find your soul first, then your soulmate

Ex-Secret Agent: The 5-Minute Read On Any Man

Things nobody told me before I turned 27

You have to get to a point where you're not afraid of being rejected for being yourself

Why We Choose the Partners We Choose

You're about to meet them

If you never had a girlfriend, this video is for you

love is how you treat someone, not how you feel about them