Pratique du Shadowing: Computer Repair Shop Workers Confess Their SINS - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec YouTube
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In this week's installment of Confess Your Sins,
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In this week's installment of Confess Your Sins,
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we ask Computer Shop Repairmen if they have any.
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And apparently they do.
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Top class intro that one is, isn't it?
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And, and, here's the tie-in.
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Let's read them.
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I had a casual job over Christmas at a local repair store.
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A sketchy, mid-40s looking guy comes in with his laptop telling us it wouldn't turn on.
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You know it's related, don't you?
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While repairing the laptop and testing it,
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one of my co-workers found it had a substantial amount of Chris Paul.
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We all know what you're talking about.
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Cyberpunk the game.
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On his desktop, as well as some other dodgy stuff,
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we contacted the police and they took it from there.
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A couple of weeks later,
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his wife comes in and apologises to us in person.
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Brutal.
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Yes, it is.
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I just don't understand how you'd be so dumb to walk in.
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Uh, yeah, mate, this computer with a bunch of illicit,
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illegal material that you, by law,
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have to contact the police immediately on seeing is broken.
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Uh, can you not do that in future?
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Thanks, mate.
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It's not even to catch a predator, is it?
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It's just, you know, where's the sport?
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Before I was born, my dad used to be a mobile computer repairman on an island in Sydney
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that is basically one big hippie commune.
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I don't even know where this place is, man.
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I'm sure it's just a mere $8 million a house.
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One day, one of his clients couldn't pay for his services,
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so she offered him a free energy healing session.
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Oh no, I thought this was gonna be a dick sock day.
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Long story short, when I was born, I was not vaccinated.
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Yeah, you had good energy,
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so shut the f*** up.
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Stop spreading bad energy, c***.
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My brother and I ran an incredible grift on the good people of the small town we worked in.
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We each operated our own competing computer repair shops in the same shitty arcade.
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What kind of f***ing rube town do you live in where they don't figure that out?
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Look at it at the stores.
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Oh yeah, mate, it's the biggest rivalry ever, mate.
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Phil Lerman's computer shop and Dave Lerman's computer shop.
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F***ing, they just open up the same spot and f***ing hate each other, c***.
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If one of us got someone who felt like that they try and haggle,
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we'd massively overquote them so they'd go to the other shop and get a much lower but still overpriced quote.
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Yeah, f***ing, I'm on your side, f***ing.
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This is a f***ing India.
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If one of us got a real Karen, we'd abuse them.
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So they threatened to go elsewhere and storm right off into the arms of the other shop.
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We shared the funds and made absolute bank.
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The old twin brother trick.
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Except for you weren't even fucking twins.
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Worked as a tech at a computer store that did warranty repairs for a range of manufacturers.
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One day, a guy with a thick Scandinavian.
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It's already awesome.
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Mein Computerhosen.
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Mein Computerhosen.
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Slaps an Acer laptop down on the counter and explains,
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I have disk- Do the- Yeah,
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yeah, yeah, I gotta do the accent.
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I have to do the accent.
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I have a disk stuck in my ass- Yeah,
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c-
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It's so good, especially because it's just like sort of this cultural stereotype
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that they do have things stuck in their ass up.
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So yeah, had to hold in love.
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I don't know how you did it.
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Especially because like don't you think that's the time where it's like even harder to not laugh?
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Is there something comical about this situation?
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Who is it?
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But ended up being able to remove the CD for him.
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From that day forth, we all changed our pronunciation to ASSA.
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Good, good.
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Had to be done.
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As it more accurately reflected the quality of their- It does!
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They f***ing suck!
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Even I know that.
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They're f***ing that brand.
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Even made a BIOS launch screen spelled ASSA.
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Gonna pretend that I know what a BIOS screen is.
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I'm sure it's very amusing.
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And installed it for a few lucky punters who had their machines in for repairs.
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I still wonder if they noticed.
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Yeah, top story.
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That was a f***ing pearl of that one.
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Americans, did you know that I'm doing a tour across the United States?
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Well, I am.
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I'm also touring in Sydney, Aubrey and Newcastle.
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So get your tickets for those.
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It was one of my first few weeks working at the computer repair section of my store
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when some guy walks in demanding we fix his slow computer to de-escalate the situation.
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My manager decided to try and help him.
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When she went to look at the computer,
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she realized there were live maggots crawling out of it.
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Fuck me.
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Okay, so it was just Satan.
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Satan was the customer.
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She started gagging and told the guy he had to leave.
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After some arguing, he storms off,
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leaving even more maggots that were hiding on his body.
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All right, that's the most disturbing thing I've ever heard of my- That's just hellish.
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That's- What the fuck is going on?
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What, so he's rotting?
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It's- How are they living on him?
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Numerous stories, but the one that stands out in particular is when a basement dweller neckbeard,
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not unlike what was described in your Warhammer vids,
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showed up and requested us to fix their working laptop.
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What was the issue?
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Apparently it suddenly died one day,
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it refused to turn on.
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Grabbing it, I took it onto my workbench and only realized a sticky residue.
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Mind you, I grabbed it with my bare hands.
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Odd, but could be juice of some sort.
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I'm gonna assume that's juice.
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Netbeard's are a very healthy demographic.
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It's gonna stick my tongue out on that.
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Yeah, no, it's salty.
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Okay, he could have put some supplements in it.
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So it made me think perhaps it was water damage of some sort.
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You just wanted to f***ing touch his f***.
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Opening the back of the laptop,
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I found crusty remains of what appeared to be a sticky gelatinous white...
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See, look at him, still.
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Okay, white, so it's obviously a licey juice and it's still salty.
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It spares further analysis.
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And just come taste this, mate.
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That was unlike any form of juice I'd ever seen.
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But yeah, it's still definitely juice.
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And that's where the stench hit my nose and realized what that juice really was.
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I heaved and emptied the remainder of my lunch that day.
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Looking back, I should have realized that the dude with the 50 plus hentai stickers on the back of his laptop.
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50 plus, what a gooner.
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I reckon that guy rubs it when it's like flaccid.
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Probably be the sort of person to do that sort of stuff.
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Yes, well he got there, didn't he?
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Whatever the case is, I still wash my hands regularly to this day
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and every single time I deal with anything customer facing,
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I always wear gloves every single time.
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All right, the laptop suffered liquid damage and was irreparable.
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That's, well, yeah, I mean, technically, true.
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All right, no one's lying.
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Honestly, probably a good thing is the police would have had to ask me less questions later if necessary.
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Oh yeah, he's into that goblin thick hentai, is he?
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My strangest duty as a computer tech is being a surrogate
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father to a senior citizen who spends all day watching pimple popping videos.
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Oh, that's, I'd rather touch the and frequenting forums dedicated to pimple popping.
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I kind of get it though.
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It's that when you see the mango worms coming out of the holes in the dog.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Oh, no, that's f***ing, that's f***ing, yeah, yeah.
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Keep it going.
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Oh, I got them all.
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Yeah, nice.
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He picks up so many viruses and malware doing this.
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Really?
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We've had to install a parental account on his phone,
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so now whenever he wants to install an app,
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he needs to come in and have us authorise it.
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Really?
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That's repeat business.
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Nice.
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Still manages to fill his phone with malware, but we're not angry.
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Just disappointed.
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Why is malware attached to that?
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That's actually...
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Can someone let me know in the comments?
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I've got no f***ing idea why you attach it to that.
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Worked at a returns department that didn't really do repairs per se,
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but we pretended we did.
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Come on down to Mitchell's wizards in training, computer wizards.
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We will.
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Have a look at your computer and your guess is as bad as ours actually, really?
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Like, yeah, yeah, you got a better chance going to a vet.
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One time a lady bought in a MacBook that was apparently running slowly.
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It was one of the older models with a mechanical drive,
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but we thought we'd try cleaning up her deleted files,
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etc. Maybe increase performance.
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Oh, no, I'm not one of you sh**.
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F**k, I hate getting you online.
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Sometimes a computer, even when you've deleted it all,
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is a good thing to just press record.
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It's the only thing I know how to do!
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My colleague began digging through her drive.
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She left us a password to log in,
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and he found a folder called cucumber.
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Found a folder called?
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Cucumbers.
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Cucumbers?
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Read it.
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That's all it's, dude, it's blocked off.
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What does it say?
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Cumber.
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Oh, okay, yeah, sorry.
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Cumber.
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No, that isn't a typo.
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And it contained videos of her rattling her clam with a super r- All right,
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that's how we're referring to her from now on, boys.
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Anytime the ever catchy missus in the bath,
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she is rattling her clam.
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Needless to say, she couldn't quite figure out why me and my colleague couldn't meet her gaze when she...
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Oh, no!
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When she came back to pick it up,
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must have assumed that we were the awkward nerds
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that we are who haven't seen a real woman in our tech support basement room before,
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which I'm sure was also true as well,
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and that was probably the reason that you weren't able to make eye contact.
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You've never seen a vagina before.
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Did work experience at my local PC repair store.
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Guy comes in rather flustered and talking rather fast.
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He tells us he accidentally clicked on a link from a friend.
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Everyone's always an accident, aren't they?
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Accidentally clicked a link from a friend,
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which led to his computer being filled with porn.
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Oh, no. What a bad friend, bro.
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And he needed it removed before he...
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You know what?
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Actually, just that little...
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I think there's...
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Dude, he could be the only Ned Flanders on Earth.
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Oh, gosh darn doodly.
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This is quite the pickly-vidly.
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I better play with my willy-ly diddly before my wifely doodle comes home and sees me with my noodle.
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That was all ad-libbed.
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Fuck you, it's pretty good.
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He then proceeded to get on the floor and show us the positions.
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What?
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So one is doing this,
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then the girl is doing this to him,
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and then you go here.
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Fucking Ned Flanders, I'm telling you now,
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this guy's never seen porn before.
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Or seems to understand the concept of sex despite having a wife.
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That poor woman.
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There's a guy giving another guy what for?
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Yeah, it's a friend.
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It's a f***ing friend.
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Of course, dude, that's the classic.
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I'm putting gay porn on.
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The whole time he's on the floor at different positions.
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I don't know why he's playing charades, but anyway.
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Doing doggy one moment, then he's on his back and so forth.
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My manager, without skipping a beat, says $500, please.
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I'm laughing my freaking butt off as he gets up and goes,
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yep, just clean it now.
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My wife is home soon.
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It's nice to know that that like a classic Hollywood trope of a guy
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that works in some kind of electronic shop with a bunch of shit behind him and says shit all the time.
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Very disinterested at guys like that.
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38 new books.
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They're real.
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They're like a better call Saul except for they're only good for one thing and it's pretty lame and nerdy.
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But interesting nonetheless.
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You know what else I think is probably going to be a good yield.
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MacBook geniuses confess their sins.
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If you have worked at a Mac shop, let us know.
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Write your comments below and we will do the classic thing that everyone does to you guys.
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Man, I didn't sound like a genius.
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You looking forward to that?
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I am.
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See you next time.
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He means Apple Store.
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Oh yeah, Apple Store.
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I thought they showed Apple.
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BLB Lakshon
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About This Lesson
In this lesson, learners will engage in English speaking practice by exploring a fascinating transcript from the video "Computer Repair Shop Workers Confess Their SINS." By delving into real-life conversations and confessions from computer repair shop workers, learners will enhance their understanding of informal English, idiomatic expressions, and conversational nuances. This lesson will focus on the nuances of humor, storytelling, and moral dilemmas faced in everyday work situations, enabling learners to practice their listening and speaking skills more effectively.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Repair store - A place where computers and devices are fixed.
- Illicit material - Content that is illegal or forbidden.
- To haggle - To negotiate or argue over the price.
- To abuse - To treat someone in a harsh or cruel manner.
- Grift - A scheme or trick to deceive someone, often for financial gain.
- Crazy stuff - Unusual or unexpected situations, often humorous.
Practice Tips
To maximize your learning experience with the transcript, consider using the shadowing technique. This method involves listening to a spoken dialogue and then attempting to repeat it simultaneously. Here are some tailored tips for this exercise:
- Watch the video first: Familiarize yourself with the context and flow of the conversation. This will help you catch the nuances when you start shadowing.
- Pace yourself: The tone in the video is casual and humorous, so listen carefully to the pacing of the dialogue. If the conversation feels too fast, use a *shadowing app* with adjustable speeds to slow it down.
- Focus on intonation: Pay attention to how the speakers emphasize certain words and phrases. Mimicking their intonation will make your speaking practice sound more natural.
- Record yourself: After shadowing a segment, record your voice and compare it with the original. This self-feedback loop can help you identify areas for improvement in pronunciation and rhythm.
- Engage with a partner: Practice with a friend or a language partner. Take turns shadowing each other, which will give you both an opportunity for constructive feedback and enhance conversational skills.
Utilizing these shadow speech techniques will significantly enhance your fluency and confidence in English, making you better equipped for real-life conversations.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.
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