Pratique du Shadowing: How to Be Direct Without Sounding Rude - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
Création de la leçon...
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Have you ever wondered what it sounds like to be direct with someone?
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How to be direct in speaking to someone?
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Well, this episode is for you.
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We're going to get right to the point, short, concise, direct, all that and more.
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Let's go.
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Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher Podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything.
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If you are listening on any platform, I'm going to ask that you find the button that says subscribe
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or like or comment because it helps this podcast and it tells wherever you're listening that this is good quality content.
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And that's my promise that if you listen to these episodes and subscribe to them, I'm going to make you a better communicator.
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Thank you.
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This podcast is sponsored by, you know, at Cozy Earth.
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I love Cozy Earth because all of the products are extremely premium,
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That's CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson, use the code Jefferson and get up to 20% off.
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Let's keep going.
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I speak to a lot of people, not just, I don't mean that in people in the world.
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I mean, specifically in my job as an attorney.
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I speak to a lot of people and I train a lot of people in how to communicate.
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And one of the number one things that I hear time and time again is Jefferson, I wish I could just, I'm not very direct when it comes to depositions, cross-examination, direct examination.
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When I answer questions from people, I have a really hard time being direct.
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And I wish that I wasn't that way.
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If that's you, if you're listening and go, I wish I could be more direct.
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I really don't know how it sounds and I really don't know how to do it, this is the episode.
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I'm going to teach you exactly how to do it.
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So what is being direct?
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It is a straight line from A to B.
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That's what it is.
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No farther than what it needs to be.
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No longer than what it needs to be.
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It is not a detour.
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I want you to think of it like Google Maps or Waze or whatever you, you know, however you, maybe MapQuest, anybody?
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Think of it as a straight line.
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You're not taking any detours.
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You're not taking the scenic route in the conversation.
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You are getting there as fast as you can, most efficiently as you can.
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Yes, it's not artful.
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Yes, it's not some fancy sounding, very flowery language.
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It's just getting right to the point of exactly what you need to say.
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So that's what direct is.
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What does direct sound like?
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Direct sounds like your words sticking, not stretching, not expanding.
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So think of it like in the Olympics, right?
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They have
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in gymnastics in the summer Olympics
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and these gymnasts who are amazing do these amazing things in the air
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and then what's the goal here they want to stick the landing they do
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or they talk they say they do what they need to do the action is up here
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and then they stick the landing right there
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and then they throw their hands in the air
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and everybody applauds that's what you're looking for you're not looking
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for the type of motion where it continues just to carry on and on
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and on where it's not like i don't know just watch
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the winter olympics i'm thinking of like curling you know where they do the ice, the block of ice, and I don't really know how it works, but it seems kind of cool.
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Then they have like their mops.
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Anyway, so how can we do this in your everyday communication?
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Here is a key and something that might be a hidden gem.
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In my opinion, speaking to customer service agents on the phone is the number one training ground for learning to speak directly.
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We all know what it's like to be on the phone with a customer service agent and it's 20 minutes later,
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30 minutes later, and you go, this is unbearable.
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This is terrible.
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I'm confused.
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They don't really know what I'm saying.
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I don't know how to get what I want.
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And it's just defeating.
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Most of the time it has to do not with the agent, has to do with how direct you are being, what you are asking for.
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So I'm going to give you a one, two, three, that's going to help you not only be more direct, but also probably help with some customer service agents.
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Now, first I want to call it what it is.
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Customer service reps, they don't have all this space usually to be creative.
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They have very limited options in what they can do, like a doctor or an attorney or different occupations where it's like a triage.
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If it's not this, then it's that.
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And it's this decision tree of information.
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And that's what they're trained on.
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So if you don't fall into one of those categories, they don't really know how to help.
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And what makes it worse are these problems.
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One, you begin with the story.
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You begin with a story.
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So you start saying, okay, so the other day I bought this thing and I, and it is not really working and I'm not really sure.
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And you start giving all the background context.
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That is not helpful.
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And it's not sounding direct at all.
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It makes it harder and prolongs the issue.
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Another mistake is where you kind of hint at what you want them to do
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and just expect them to kind of read your mind rather than being direct and asking for what you want.
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And three, you over explain and over talk to where you feel as
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if they're going to feel you're justified and so entitled and it's going to lead them directly to the answer.
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You see how you're dealing with customer service in
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that way can be the same exact thing of how you deal with ordinary people.
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You might have the tendency to expect them to read your mind
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you might have the tendency to feel like they should already know what you want
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and where you're going and so you don't feel
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that inner desire to be direct you just expect
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that they naturally know where you're going and that you're entitled to something and it's their job to get it
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but in truth it's your job to be direct that's why i say
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that the customer service on the phone with them is the great training ground
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because you can learn to say things more concisely and you don't, I'm not at all saying, let me make this very clear,
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do not call customer service just for the fun of it and be rude and be ugly and say things.
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And that is not cool.
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And that is not at all what I'm saying.
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What I am saying is that for you to be direct, you have to practice it.
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And these little customer service interactions, whether it's a wait staff or it's hotel staff
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or it's customer service these are chances for you to practice
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and say exactly what you want before we keep going I want to tell you about butcher box
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ButcherBox has these chicken tenders, and they hit every single time with my kids.
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That sounds awesome.
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Don't forget to use our link so they know that we sent you.
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All right, let's keep going.
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How do I speak more directly?
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I'm so glad you asked.
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So here's how to do it.
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Number one, state the issue.
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In one sentence, for example, there's been a charge on my account.
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This product was not delivered.
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This is the problem.
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So if you have a problem, If you have a hard time describing what the issue is,
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just finish the sentence, this is my problem, blank.
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Blank is my problem.
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Be very, very clear on exactly what the issue is.
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Number two, you have to state the impact.
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What has been the impact to you?
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There's a charge on my account.
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It cost me $75.
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This is late.
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I am not able to do this.
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State the impact, the harm, the consequence.
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It's very similar to kind of like in legal things.
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You have to write a petition, state a petition.
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In a petition, which is a written document, you state the issue, you state the harm, and well, who's responsible for it?
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Same kind of principle.
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You're having to state why they are responsible.
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So first, you have the issue.
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Second, you have the impact.
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And third, you state the remedy, what you're wanting them to do.
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I've had a charge on my account.
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It's $75.
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I want this money back.
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I need a refund.
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I want to exchange this.
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I need to X.
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Be explicit as possible, specific as possible.
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This is where you get to say, that doesn't work for me.
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Nope.
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I don't agree with that.
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For some people, that is really hard to do.
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They have a hard time pushing against that.
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It's an uncomfortable feeling.
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You get to train that.
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It is a learned skill.
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Believe me, it is a learned skill.
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You can do this.
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Three separate boxes here.
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You're going to state what the problem is, two, state the impact, and three, state the resolution.
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What are you asking for?
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What are you needing them to do?
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You can apply this at home, at work, anytime.
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When you get to say, here is my problem.
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Here's the impact to me.
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Here's what I'm asking you to do.
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Here's how you can fix it.
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Here's the fix that I've come up with.
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Don't do it to where you just state the problem and go, I leave it up to you.
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Find the solution.
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Ask exactly for the solution that you want.
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Now, if you say, I want a refund and customer service says, I'm sorry, sir, we can't do this.
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You said, that's not acceptable.
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Then what are my other options?
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Ask, what are my other options?
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Is there a way that I can escalate this?
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What is a solution that is available to me?
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How can I escalate this?
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They all have a procedure in their book of what to do when.
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And yeah, maybe you do hit a dead end, but you can at least rest assured that you've been direct about it and stating what you want.
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No, you're not going to use that company again.
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You know you're going to cut off the relationship with that because they're not giving you what you want.
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Same thing with everyday human relationships and romantic relationships or dating relationships.
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If you are not being direct and stating what you want, you are setting yourself up for failure.
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This kind of reminds me of this quote that I heard, and it's something to the tune of,
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the single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place, right?
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Like where you think you were very direct and the other person doesn't feel that at all.
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They're left confused.
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The sharper you can be and say, hey, this is what you said.
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This hurt me.
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I want you to apologize.
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it's kind of the same, it's all the same system.
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It's all the same system.
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Hey, you left your toys out, your Legos out.
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I stepped on one of them and it caused me immense pain.
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I need you to pick these up now.
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True story for me, many nights, right?
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You see how it is bam, bam, bam.
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You're sticking the landing every single time.
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It could be also as simple as, I know that you want this from me.
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That's something I'm not comfortable with.
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My answer needs to be no. Period.
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Stick the landing every time.
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I really like that phrase.
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My answer needs to be no. I need to say no. What a good phrase.
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Whenever you can be very direct with somebody, they actually appreciate it more.
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I like to say that sometimes the kindest thing you can do is be as direct as you can be.
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When you're not direct with somebody, you're indirect.
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It's like it's trying to go through the back door.
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Like there's a front door on a house for a reason.
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Go up and knock on it.
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Go through the front door.
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You're not going to try and find a window that's open somewhere else.
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Go through the front door.
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That's what it's there for.
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People who struggle with being direct, it's usually because you're not using the right type of frame or system to deliver the message.
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You typically start instead with a story and you're giving context.
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They don't really tell what's all in their product.
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That's why I partnered with Momentus.
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They're known as a high trust brand and a low trust category by holding themselves to a higher bar, which they don't have to do, but they do.
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And now let's keep going.
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This happens a lot in the law firm.
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We'll have a new client, potential client who calls, and they talk to the receptionist and they go okay
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so the other day like uh three months ago i had this guy
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and he did this and you know i did
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and they start saying all of the tea all this context that's been in their mind
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and it's all story and it's convoluted and they're like no wait
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and so this guy and they start dropping names and then they're like well he did this and then actually, you know what, wait, let me back up.
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What he did was that is maddening.
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All right.
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I understand that it usually comes from insecurity or fear.
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And it's, it's the fear of that you're not giving enough information.
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Totally valid.
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What the other person hears and what the other person is doing is trying to distill like,
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okay, what's, what's relevant? what's not relevant what's the issue what's not the issue and it's it's like playing um
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um like an i spy book game like a where's walter like you're just you're searching for the things
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that go that's the issue right there but not everybody does
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that they're not going to just try to find the issues for you in
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that type of capacity instead they're going to be just as lost
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so what are they going to do they're going to say what they want
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because they don't really know what you're asking for.
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So you start with a story.
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I can promise you, you're going to end up being disappointed when it comes to being direct.
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Unless, I'd say unless, there was a reason why the story is important and that would come on the back end.
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So instead I would say, here's my issue.
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Here's the impact to me.
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Here's how I want you to fix it.
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And they're going to give a response and you say, I'm going to give you more information because you need to know this, right?
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That's when you're able to give the additional information,
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but you don't want to start with it because it sounds like you're trying to,
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I don't know, run up, go up on an escalator that's going down.
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Like you're just going to be running in motion and not getting anywhere.
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All right.
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We've talked about what being direct is.
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We've talked about what being direct sounds like, how you want to stick the landing, how you want to have short, choppy sentences.
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In my world, what I like to teach is if you can't say it in three sentences, you need to think about it again.
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You need to condense.
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You need to reduce.
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So let me give that little tidbit to you.
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I have a three sentence rule that I like to live by, both in my company and regular communication, if need be.
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And it's this, if I can't say it in three sentences, I need to go back and think about it.
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Now, the other people, if they're asking for information on something and they need context, absolutely, I'm going to give that.
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But in terms of me initiating a message, if I cannot say it in three sentences, not run on sentences, but actual grammatical sentences,
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then I need to go back to the drawing board.
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It's that that quote about if I would, I would have written you a shorter letter if I had had more time,
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like it takes effort to try and condense information down.
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And so when I can do that, that's me being direct.
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And when I can use the method that we just talked about, what I just taught you of stating first what the issue
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is to say this is my problem two this is the impact to me how it has affected me
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and three the fix the resolution the result this is what
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I am asking you to do whether it's just to listen
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whether it's just to note it for the record whether it is to
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compensate me to be able to recover something back in some way to remedy this.
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That is a system that you can use in a lot of different contexts.
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And here, the main focus is stick your landing.
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And that's exactly what I'm going to do right now.
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All right.
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Thank you.
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Bye.
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Try that and follow me.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « How to Be Direct Without Sounding Rude ». Cette vidéo contient 317 phrases et 3496 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 20:09. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 174 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 87 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| cosy adjectif | /ˈkoʊzi/ | douillet, douillette |
| podcast nom | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast, balado |
| condense verbe | /kənˈdɛns/ | condenser |
| detour nom | /ˈdi.toɹ/ | détour, déviation |
| escalate verbe | /ˈɛs.kə.leɪt/ | intensifier |
| seafood nom | /ˈsiːfuːd/ | fruits de mer |
| butcher nom | /ˈbʊt͡ʃə/ | boucher, bouchère |
| shrimp nom | /ʃɹɪmp/ | crevette |
| promo nom | /ˈpɹəʊməʊ/ | promo |
| remedy nom | /ˈɹɛmədi/ | remède |
| verify verbe | /ˈvɛɹɪfaɪ/ | vérifier |
| towel nom | /ˈtaʊ̯əl/ | serviette |
| refund nom | /ɹɪˈfʌnd/ | remboursement |
| tendency nom | /ˈtɛn.dən.si/ | tendance |
| steak nom | /steɪk/ | bifteck, steak |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| go through verbe | traverser | |
| get up to verbe | commettre | |
| back up verbe | reculer | |
| come up with verbe | inventer, imaginer | |
| cut off verbe | /ˌkʌt ˈɔf/ [ˌkɐɾ ˈɔf] | tailler, couper |
| end up verbe | se terminer, se finir | |
| get off verbe | descendre, faire descendre | |
| go back verbe | rentrer, retourner |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- How do I speak more directly?
- What has been the impact to you?
- What are you asking for?
- What are you needing them to do?
- Then what are my other options?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continu have/has been + -ing — une action commencée avant et toujours en cours | who've been listening · have been wearing · I've been using |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | they've led · has been · I've come |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | is sponsored · was not delivered · being disappointed |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | petition, which is · People who struggle · accuracy, which makes |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 113 contractions et formes réduites, comme you're, don't, I'm. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: shrimp /ʃɹɪmp/, receptionist /ɹɪˈsɛp.ʃə.nɪst/, triage /ˈtɹi.ɑʒ/, deposition /ˌdɛp.əˈzɪʃ.ən/, initiate /ɪˈnɪʃ.i.eɪt/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: independently /ˌɪndɪˈpɛndəntli/, communicator /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/, contaminant /kənˈtamɪnənt/, convoluted /ˌkɑnvəˈlutəd/, escalator /ˈɛs.kə.leɪ.tɚ/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hormone /ˈhoɹmoʊn/, hint /hɪnt/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: butcher /ˈbʊt͡ʃə/, choppy /ˈt͡ʃɑ.pi/, gymnast /ˈd͡ʒɪm.næst/, gymnastics /d͡ʒɪmˈnæs.tɪks/, justify /ˈd͡ʒʌstɪfaɪ/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: detour /ˈdi.toɹ/, shrimp /ʃɹɪmp/, promo /ˈpɹəʊməʊ/, remedy /ˈɹɛmədi/, verify /ˈvɛɹɪfaɪ/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme cosy, podcast, condense.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.