Pratique du Shadowing: how to stop comparing yourself to others (tips that *actually* work) - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec YouTube
C1
Why is everyone so successful except me?
213 phrases
Si les phrases sont trop courtes ou trop longues, cliquez sur Edit pour les ajuster.
1
Why is everyone so successful except me?
2
How does everyone have so many friends yet I'm alone?
3
I just wish I looked like her.
4
This is our reality.
5
Chronically online but quietly suffering.
6
Living vicariously through influencers we've never even met.
7
If you find yourself constantly stuck in this comparison loop,
8
wishing that one day it'll stop, it won't.
9
Because you're playing a game you can't win.
10
But what if I told you it didn't have to be this way?
11
that you didn't have to wake up every morning feeling sorry for yourself because that used to be me.
12
I'm going to tell you exactly how I was able to stop comparing myself after years of struggling with insecurity
13
because these mindset tricks are so powerful that if you use them,
14
you will never become insecure by anyone again,
15
no matter who you scroll past.
16
You're not crazy for comparing yourself though.
17
In fact, it's biologically ingrained in us.
18
As humans, we compare ourselves to others because of this innate drive to evaluate ourselves,
19
understand our place in the world and improve our lives.
20
This is based on social comparison theory.
21
In other words, comparing ourselves to others helps us gauge where we stand in society.
22
It's essentially benchmarking.
23
This comparison can either be upward,
24
such as perceiving others as better than us,
25
or it can be downward when we see other people as being worse.
26
And although very rarely it can be a source of motivation,
27
most of the time it often leads to negative emotions like dissatisfaction and anxiety.
28
And because of the age of the internet and social media,
29
it has made this comparison game incredibly easy.
30
We wake up, we scroll.
31
We eat, we scroll.
32
We can't even brush our teeth without checking who's doing better than us.
33
And the crazy thing is that it all happens unconsciously.
34
Even if you're not actively thinking about comparison,
35
it's already happening in your mind.
36
Social media apps were designed to be addicting.
37
And so the longer we stay on the platform,
38
the more unattainable aesthetics we see.
39
And eventually we start to convince ourselves that every single person is indeed happier,
40
more successful, more in love, and prettier than us.
41
And you tell yourself that you're just catching up,
42
but an hour later you're picking apart your body,
43
your job, your timeline, but you're not crazy for feeling this way.
44
You're just caught in a cycle that was never meant to help you.
45
Social media breeds envy, so it's your job to filter through the noise and find better solutions that will actually motivate you.
46
When we compare ourselves to others on social media or in real life,
47
we often feel a mix of inadequacy,
48
like why don't I look like that?
49
Self-doubt, like am I falling behind?
50
Shame, like I should be doing more?
51
Or resentment, why them and not me?
52
But the real root of comparison is always the fear of not being enough.
53
That if we don't measure up to everyone else,
54
we'll be unloved, unnoticed, or left behind.
55
And this is a problem
56
because the measuring stick you're using to evaluate yourself is based on standards that you've created in your mind.
57
When you think about it,
58
there is no law on what's right or perfect.
59
These are ideals set by us that we force ourselves to live by because that's what other people do.
60
I mean, think about the Instagram face phenomenon where everyone is doing their makeup
61
and getting plastic surgery to look the same way.
62
There's a cultural pressure to follow these beauty standards because that's what people deem as the right way to look.
63
So the first step to how you're going to overcome comparison is to reframe and rebuild.
64
You have to understand that all of what you're feeling is created from you,
65
that all of your insecurities are technically your fault.
66
It's harsh, but it's true.
67
This is something called radical accountability,
68
which is believing that everything that has happened to you is directly your responsibility.
69
So how you feel about yourself is your fault,
70
But there is good news.
71
Because although radical accountability can be a hard pill to swallow,
72
it also shows you that you have 100% control of your life.
73
So you can either use this information to further degrade yourself,
74
or you can use it to reframe your thinking and rebuild your life.
75
And this is exactly how you're going to do that.
76
You see, comparison isn't the actual problem.
77
It's a symptom of the problem.
78
So the first thing you need to do is identify what it is exactly you're feeling when you compare yourself to others?
79
Is it shame, jealousy, inadequacy?
80
And once you can name the feeling,
81
it will help you take back the power from it.
82
Then you need to ask yourself,
83
what is this trigger showing me about my own desires?
84
For example, if you're envious of someone else's success,
85
maybe you're craving more purpose.
86
If you're comparing someone's physical looks to yours,
87
maybe you just want their confidence.
88
Like I said, comparison is just a symptom of the real problem.
89
You need to dig deep and find out the exact issue you have with yourself.
90
And then you are going to turn your feelings into a mirror.
91
Basically, every time you see someone who you compare yourself to,
92
you are going to shift your focus from what you lack to what you can learn.
93
So as an example, when you see someone online who has a body you want,
94
rather than thinking, I'll never be able to look like that,
95
think, what can I learn from her to achieve those results?
96
Or if you see one of your friends making lots of money,
97
ask yourself, what are they doing differently that I can start doing too?
98
We are no longer going to be passive and just quietly watch people from the sidelines.
99
That is not what you were put on this earth to do.
100
Instead, you are going to take your insecurity,
101
turn it around and take action towards your goals.
102
Which brings us to number four,
103
root back into your timeline.
104
We often compare our step one to other people's step 100.
105
You need to remember that the people People who are farther along than you are on a different path.
106
Remember that their success doesn't equal your failure.
107
Just because someone else is winning doesn't mean you're losing.
108
You guys can both be winning at the same time.
109
Crazy concept, I know.
110
But whatever your actionable steps are,
111
you need to adjust them to fit your unique timeline.
112
So to do this, I want you to do a little exercise.
113
I want you to write down three things you are already doing that align with your goals.
114
So as an example, if my goal was to land my dream job,
115
I might say that I'm already reaching out to companies getting my letters of recommendation,
116
and updating my resume.
117
And then after that, I want you to write down three more things you can start doing that will further your growth.
118
This will get you to start thinking actively,
119
as in taking action towards your goals,
120
rather than being passive and envious of other people working on theirs.
121
One of the other most effective tips I've used that helped me stop comparing myself is auditing my scroll.
122
You need to unfollow anybody you silently compare yourself to and be honest about it.
123
At first, you might not want to unfollow some people because at one point they did inspire you.
124
But now deep down, you find yourself jealous and insecure by their life.
125
There were so many influencers I used to look up to,
126
but over time, I just found myself constantly comparing my life to theirs.
127
And every time I would go off social media,
128
I would feel so empty.
129
So that's when I realized constantly consuming these people's content was actually hurting me more than helping.
130
So that is when I just started to mute people on social media so I didn't see their posts or stories.
131
Like it wasn't enough for me to just ignore them.
132
I actually had to mute them for my self-control.
133
And when I tell you,
134
my mental health improved drastically by doing this because during the day I would just mindlessly scroll,
135
but it would actually be feeding into my insecurities.
136
So now the temptation isn't even there and I only follow people who inspire me but that I don't compare myself to.
137
I basically only follow people who I see as mentors or teachers
138
because the logic is you wouldn't want to be your professor,
139
but you definitely want to learn from them.
140
Another way to audit your scroll is just to limit it altogether.
141
The phrase you are what you eat is 100% true.
142
The more time you spend on social media,
143
the more you feed into the narrative it's telling you.
144
And because these apps were designed to make us insecure,
145
you are only buying into a self-fulfilling prophecy the longer you spend on them.
146
So do yourself a favor and just limit your time online.
147
I talk about this screen management app called Opal all the time in my videos.
148
They're not sponsoring me, but I wish they did because of all this free promotion I'm doing for them.
149
But I really like it because it will literally block me from using certain apps on my phone.
150
So I've set it to block Instagram,
151
TikTok, LinkedIn, my emails, basically every single app.
152
And you can decide how long you want your blocking period to be.
153
So I've set mine in the morning because I do not wanna start my day off by comparing myself on social media.
154
This has been a godsend for my productivity, self-esteem, confidence, basically everything.
155
I love social media, but there are times
156
when I just need a break and auditing my scroll has been extremely effective for that.
157
So if you are not doing this yet, you need to start.
158
I do wanna say something really bluntly though.
159
Most of us who struggle heavily with comparison are coincidentally also really shy and humble.
160
Like you are probably the type of person to deny compliments from other people.
161
Like if someone said, oh my God,
162
your hair is so pretty.
163
You'd probably say something like,
164
oh my God, no, I haven't watched it in three days.
165
It's so bad.
166
But girl, you gotta stop doing this.
167
It seems harmless, but you are quietly killing your self-esteem.
168
And you wonder why you're insecure.
169
It's because you're always denying the good things about yourself.
170
So here's what you're gonna do instead.
171
You are going to publicly celebrate yourself.
172
And I don't care if you think this is stupid because it's not and it works.
173
I am literally living proof because I used to hate talking about myself,
174
but now I love it.
175
You need to get into the habit of sharing your wins with other people.
176
And the reason why this works is because it trains your brain into thinking highly of yourself.
177
It's the same reasoning behind fake it till you make it.
178
Nobody comes out of the womb being super confident.
179
Confidence is a muscle that has developed over time.
180
And people who are extremely confident have been exercising this muscle for years.
181
So if you are generally a very humble,
182
quiet person who doesn't like to talk about themselves, that needs to change.
183
When I actually started to share stuff about my life with other people
184
and all the good things that have been happening to me.
185
At first, it felt weird because I thought I was like bragging, but it's not.
186
And it actually made me stop comparing myself to others.
187
When you take the time and intentionally acknowledge your wins,
188
it affirms to you that you are amazing,
189
you are capable and you are successful.
190
And when you start changing your thinking pattern,
191
you will eventually stop comparing yourself to what you see in real life or online.
192
Because now you believe you have just as much or even more to celebrate.
193
And you do.
194
Everything you have right now is worth celebrating.
195
You don't need to wait for that new job,
196
that new apartment or that big milestone to feel good about yourself.
197
You can decide to feel good right now.
198
At the end of the day,
199
comparison is just a distraction.
200
It keeps you focused on what you don't have that you forget everything you do have,
201
but you don't need to be anyone else.
202
You don't need to live someone else's timeline.
203
You just need to remember who you are and start acting like it.
204
Stop giving other people the power to dictate how you feel about yourself.
205
Take this as your reminder that you are not behind.
206
You are not broken.
207
You are in the process of becoming.
208
And we all are.
209
And remember, there is nothing more powerful than a girl who's too focused on herself to even compare.
210
As always, thank you so much for being here and for putting yourself first.
211
I'll see you in the next one.
212
Bye.
213
you
Télécharger l'application
Notation IA pour chaque phrase que vous prononcez
TRENDING
Populaires
Why practice speaking with this video?
Practicing your English speaking skills by engaging with content like this video on comparing yourself to others can be incredibly beneficial. The context of this video centers around self-improvement and emotional well-being, which are relatable subjects for many learners. By discussing feelings of insecurity and social comparison, you will not only enhance your vocabulary but also gain insights into commonly faced challenges in life. This is an excellent opportunity to learn English with YouTube, as you’ll practice speaking while internalizing messages that resonate with your own experiences. Engaging with such relatable content allows you to articulate your thoughts and feelings better, ultimately improving your confidence during English speaking practice.
Grammar & Expressions in Context
Throughout the video, several key structures and expressions emerge that are useful for English learners. Here are a few examples:
- Comparative Constructs: Phrases such as "better than," "worse than," and the expression of feelings through comparison are core to understanding emotional nuances. For example, "How does everyone have so many friends yet I'm alone?" utilizes a comparative structure that can help learners grasp how to express feelings of inadequacy.
- Rhetorical Questions: The speaker frequently employs rhetorical questions like "Why is everyone so successful except me?" This technique is powerful for engaging an audience and is quite common in spoken English. It prompts listeners to reflect on their own situations.
- Present Continuous Tense: Phrases like "we’re scrolling" convey ongoing actions. This tense helps in discussing current habits or feelings, making it valuable in everyday conversations.
Common Pronunciation Traps
When watching this video, learners should be mindful of certain tricky words and phrases that can pose pronunciation challenges:
- Inadequacy: The word may be challenging for non-native speakers; focus on breaking it down into phonetic parts: in-ad-e-qua-cy.
- Comparison: Pay attention to how the speaker emphasizes different syllables in this word, as it can easily be mispronounced if rushed while speaking.
- Confidence: This is another crucial word. A common mistake is not emphasizing the second syllable, which should sound clear and strong to convey certainty.
By practicing shadow speech techniques with this video, you can focus on these common pronunciation traps, helping you to improve English pronunciation naturally. Engage with the content actively, mimic the speaker, and reflect on the language used to enhance your speaking skills effectively.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.
☕ Offrez-nous un café
ShadowingEnglish reste 100% gratuit grâce à votre soutien. Les coûts des serveurs et de l'IA sont élevés — votre café nous aide à continuer ! 🙏