Pratique du Shadowing: This Book Will Teach You How Expert Negotiators Get to Yes - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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William Urey and Roger Fisher are the founders of the Harvard Negotiation Project.
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They've written a book together titled "Getting to Yes."
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I recently read the book and want to share with you the key lessons.
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According to the book, negotiation isn't about splitting things 50 /50 or insisting on your way or my way.
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It is definitely not about winning or losing.
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If you're asking who is winning, You've already lost.
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So, what is a negotiation about, then?
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Let me give you a few examples and you'll see.
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Two men argue in a library, one wants the window open for fresh air, The other wants it closed to avoid the wind blowing his papers.
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So what do you do?
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Do you leave it half open, a bit open, or closed?
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The librarian listens to both, and then goes and opens the window in another room, bringing in fresh air without disturbing the papers.
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This leaves both sides happy.
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Another example.
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Two people want to share cake, but can't agree on how to divide it fairly.
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Regardless of how you cut it, they will both complain that the other side got a bigger piece.
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So what do you do?
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Well?
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You ask one person to cut the cake, and the other chooses first.
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Since the person cutting knows that the other side picks first, he will split it evenly to avoid getting a smaller piece.
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One last example: Two kids argue over an orange.
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The parent takes the knife, cuts the orange 50 /50, and gives each kid half.
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One kid eats the fruit and throws away the peel, while the other uses the peel to bake a cake and throws the fruit into the trash.
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If the parent had asked why they wanted the orange, both kids could have gotten 100 % of what they wanted.
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but they only got 50%.
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As you can see from these examples, negotiation is about finding a solution that leaves both sides happy Without hurting the relationship.
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So how do you do it?
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How do you find those wise and practical solutions like the ones we just saw?
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Here's a four -step framework that will make you a smarter negotiator.
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Step number one.
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Focus on interests.
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not physicians.
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Remember the story about the two men arguing over a window in the library?
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It illustrates a common problem in negotiations where people focus too much on their positions, Instead of arguing about positions,
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Shift your focus, to interest.
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The benefits of focusing on interests are obvious, but doing it can be hard.
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Positions are clear and specific.
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Interests might be hidden or vague.
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So how do you find the interests of the other side?
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Simply ask why.
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Why do they want what they want?
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Try to see things from their point of view.
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Once you discover their underlying interests, Talk about them openly.
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People listen better if they feel understood.
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They think those who understand them are smart and kind.
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If you want them to listen to your interests, Start by showing you care and understand theirs.
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Of course, you need to communicate your interests as well the other side might not know them.
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To turn your interests into real options, ask yourself If they agree with me tomorrow, what do I want them to do?
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Step number two.
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Use fair standards.
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No matter how well you understand what the other side wants, conflicts will always pop up.
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You want lower rent, but your landlord wants it higher.
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Instead of arguing back and forth, Use objective criteria to decide.
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Recall the cake example?
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When two men couldn't share a cake, having one man divide it and the other choose first is based on a fair standard.
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Objective criteria are unbiased rules that don't depend on personal opinions.
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Examples of this can be market prices, legal requirements, expert opinion, or fair standards that you both agree on.
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In negotiation, often people resist agreeing because they feel like you're demanding it.
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But if you say, Let's check the rules or regulations.
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It shifts focus from what you want to what the rules say.
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Suddenly, it's not you demanding it, but the rules.
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For example, if your house construction contract doesn't specify how deep the foundations should be, and the contractor suggests two feet,
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while you think five feet is the standard, Don't just compromise.
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Instead, say: Look, maybe I'm wrong.
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Maybe two feet is enough.
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Does the government have standard specifications for these soil conditions?
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What is the earthquake risk here?
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Where do you suggest we look for standards to resolve this question?
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Here is how you can apply this principle effectively.
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Before you start, figure out some fair standards together with the other side.
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For example, say, "You want a high price, and I want a low one." Let's figure out what a fair price would be.
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What standards should we use?
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By focusing on fair standards, you can turn a clash of interests into a shared goal.
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Step number three: invent options for mutual gain.
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Recall the example of the kids fighting over an orange, instead of splitting it 50 /50, they could have found a way for both to get 100 % of what they wanted.
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This scenario highlights the importance of inventing options for mutual gain in negotiations.
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So, how do you invent creative solutions then?
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Here's how.
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Simply get together with your side or with the other side and brainstorm about all the possible solutions.
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Let the ideas flow freely.
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Don't judge or pick any of the ideas in the first stage.
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Separate the brainstorming from the selection session.
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For brainstorming, choose a few participants.
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change the environment, Design an informal atmosphere.
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Define the purpose After brainstorming, start with the most promising ideas.
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Then, discuss ways to improve them.
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People often assume differences in negotiation create problems, yet these differences can lead to solutions.
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Remember the orange example?
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A wise solution was possible because each side wanted different parts of the orange.
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It's absurd to think your differences lead to the problem.
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It's actually the differences that lead to creative solutions.
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Step number four.
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separate the people from the problem.
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Before starting a negotiation, visualize a vertical line splitting a person down the middle.
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On one side is the person, and on the other side is the problem.
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Always put the person first and the problem second.
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Negotiators are people first.
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Your goal in negotiation is to be soft on the person, but hard on the problem.
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Often, we are soft on the person, so we end up being soft on the problem as well and we don't get what we want.
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or were hard on the problem but also end up being hard on the person, damaging the relationship.
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Be soft on the person, Compliment whenever you can and appreciate the effort.
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At every negotiation stage, ask yourself, Am I paying enough attention to the people problem?
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People have different viewpoints.
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their egos are easily threatened.
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They see the world from their perspective, often confusing their perceptions with reality.
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They frequently misinterpret your words and fail to communicate their true intentions.
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Remember, you must deal not only with their problems, but also with your own.
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Your anger and frustration can block agreement as well.
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Your perceptions may be one -sided, and you might not be listening or communicating effectively.
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One of the best ways to prevent people problems is by building a relationship with the other side before.
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The negotiation starts.
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Negotiating with someone you know is easier than with a stranger.
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So arrive early to chat and stay a bit afterward.
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Get to know their likes and dislikes.
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These informal interactions make future negotiations a lot easier.
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Multiple studies show that simply getting to know the other side increases the success rate, by 25 to 30 percent.
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Okay.
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Now you might say, "All these four steps sound fair and nice, but what if the other side isn't playing by fair rules?" What if they use dirty tactics?
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What if they are more powerful?
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Or what if they attack me personally?
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Here's how to deal with each of these situations.
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Let's start with Dirty Tactics.
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People lie and use various pressure tactics.
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Recognizing these tricks often neutralizes them, Mention it directly.
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"Joe, it seems like you and Ted are playing good cop and bad cop.
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If you need a break to get on the same page, just ask." Mentioning the tactic makes it less effective and may make the other side worry about losing you.
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Just raising a question can be enough to end it.
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However, be careful, Avoid personal attacks.
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Focus on the problem, not the person.
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Instead of saying, "You put me facing the sun deliberately," say, The sun in my eyes is distracting.
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Can we adjust the schedule and meet later?
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I can't concentrate like this.
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What if they are more powerful?
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If the other side has big guns, don't turn the negotiation into a gunfight.
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The best thing you can do is to develop your BATNA.
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Best alternative to a negotiated agreement.
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Think how you would feel walking into a job interview with no other offers.
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Think how difficult the salary negotiation would go.
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Now contrast that with how you would feel walking into an interview with two other job offers.
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The difference is power.
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the more easily you can walk away from a negotiation, the greater your power.
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Developing your BATNA not only enables you to determine what a minimally acceptable agreement it will probably raise that minimum.
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Always develop your BATNA before negotiating.
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Don't say, Let's negotiate first and see what happens.
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Without BATNA, you're negotiating blindly.
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What if they attack you personally?
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When they attack you instead of the problem, things get tough.
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You want a fair solution, but they tear down your ideas.
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It's natural to defend yourself, but that leads nowhere.
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You push, they push back, and soon you're stuck.
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So what do you do?
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Use negotiation jujitsu.
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Sidestep their attacks.
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Here's how.
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1. Look behind their position.
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When they say what they want, don't just say yes or no. Ask why they want it.
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Understand what is really important to them.
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2. If they keep rejecting anything you say, then ask for their advice.
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If you were me, what would you do?
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They will put themselves in your shoes and give you the solutions.
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3. Invite criticism.
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Instead of defending your ideas, Ask them what's wrong with them.
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This will help you learn about their interests.
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I would like to conclude this video with a great story that explains what negotiation truly is.
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In 1964, an American father and his 12 -year -old son were playing frisbee in Hyde Park, London.
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Few people in England had seen a frisbee before, so a small crowd gathered.
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After a while, a man approached and asked, Sorry to bother you.
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I've been watching you for 15 minutes.
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Who's winning?
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In negotiations, asking "who's winning" is like asking that in a marriage.
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If you're focused on winning, you've missed the point.
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The real goal is working together and finding a solution that satisfies both sides' interests.
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I hope this was a useful video.
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Thanks for watching.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « This Book Will Teach You How Expert Negotiators Get to Yes ». Les mots qui reviennent le plus souvent : negotiation, interest, solution, example, fair. Cette vidéo contient 174 phrases et 1853 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 11:29. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 161 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 86 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer. 28 de ses 174 phrases sont des questions : un bon entraînement pour l’intonation interrogative et les réponses courtes.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| negotiation nom | /nɪˌɡəʊ.ʃiˈeɪ.ʃən/ | négociation |
| negotiate verbe | /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/ | négocier |
| brainstorming nom | remue-méninge, brainstorming | |
| invent verbe | /ɪnˈvɛnt/ | inventer |
| tactics nom | /ˈtæktɪks/ | tactique |
| criterion nom | /kɹaɪˈtɪɹ.i.ən/ | critère |
| negotiator nom | /nɪˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪ.tə/ | négociateur, négociatrice |
| peel verbe | /piːl/ | peler, éplucher |
| informal adjectif | /ɪnˈfɔɹ.m(ə)l/ | informel |
| divide verbe | /dɪˈvaɪd/ | diviser, fendre |
| perception nom | /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/ | perception |
| blindly adverbe | /ˈblaɪndli/ | à l’aveuglette |
| jujitsu nom | /ˌd͡ʒuːˈd͡ʒɪtsuː/ | jujitsu |
| misinterpret verbe | /ˌmɪs.ɪnˈtɜː.pɹɪt/ | mésinterpréter |
| neutralize verbe | /ˈnutɹəˌlaɪz/ | neutraliser |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| end up verbe | se terminer, se finir |
| figure out verbe | cerner |
| pop up verbe | se pointer |
| throw away verbe | rejeter, jeter |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- Do you leave it half open, a bit open, or closed?
- What standards should we use?
- Can we adjust the schedule and meet later?
- What if they attack you personally?
- If you were me, what would you do?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | might be hidden · is based · are unbiased |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | They've written · You've already lost · you've missed |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 24 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, you're, can't. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, theirs /ðɛɚz/, earthquake /ˈɝθkweɪk/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: negotiation /nɪˌɡəʊ.ʃiˈeɪ.ʃən/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, negotiator /nɪˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪ.tə/, perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, visualize /ˈvɪʒuəˌlaɪz/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: negotiation /nɪˌɡəʊ.ʃiˈeɪ.ʃən/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, criterion /kɹaɪˈtɪɹ.i.ən/, negotiator /nɪˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪ.tə/, misinterpret /ˌmɪs.ɪnˈtɜː.pɹɪt/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme negotiation, negotiate, brainstorming.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.