शैडोइंग अभ्यास: 3 Questions That Reveal What Your Life Is Missing - Arthur Brooks - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

How can people work out the meaning that they've got in their life?

What are the big questions that you should ask?

Yeah. So...

There are three big why questions that constitute meaning.

And this actually comes from the work of Michael Steger, who's a really good social psychologist at University of Michigan in Colorado.

And he, uh, he has the three parts, the three elements of meaning, which are called coherence, purpose, and significance.

And there are three why questions.

Number one is, you have to have an answer to the question, you know, why are things happening the way they are in my life?

You know, things are happening all around me all the time.

Why?

Part of meaning is having an answer to that.

Maybe that's a, maybe that's your religious answer.

like because of the mind of God.

Maybe that's your scientific answer, because these are the laws of the universe.

Maybe you're a conspiracy theorist and say, because powerful people are doing these things.

Conspiracy theories are nothing more than crying out for an answer to the coherence question, which is a meaning problem.

You know, when, so if you have a relative who's going down the rabbit hole on the craziest conspiracy theories, don't, you don't throw data in their face and say,

you moron, that's the wrong way to approach it.

They're, they're having a meaning crisis.

They're having a happiness crisis is the reason they're doing this in the first place.

So coherence, number one, you know, why things happen the way they do.

Second, why am I doing what I'm doing?

That's purpose purpose and meaning are not the same.

Purpose is goals and direction so you can make progress.

So why am I doing what I'm doing?

And if the answer is, I don't know, then you can't make progress because we're just going in circles.

You're just a, a, a carnival cruise ship, just kind of randomly going around and around and around and around.

It's the reason I find cruises unbelievably depressing.

They don't go someplace, right?

I'm a teleological individual like you.

I want a goal, right?

And that's purpose.

And, and so in the, in the, in the research, you know, Sonia Lou Womirsky's stuff, have you had her on the show?

Next week or the week after?

Super good.

Yeah.

She's awesome.

And she's at UC Riverside and she does these work on goals and you'll give students these just random goals.

Like you're getting a B minus in physics.

You know, it's going to be plus this semester, just that goal.

They get happier, they get more directed.

Life seems better because they have more meaning in their life.

That's what it comes down to.

Even arbitrary goals work better to have meaningful goals and last, but at least the significance and that's.

My life matters.

You know, my life matters to someone.

you know, to my dog, to my wife, to God, to my kids.

And so that's the love question.

And all these things are completely missing in modern culture for so many people.

You know, why do things happen the way that they do?

It's just random.

I don't know.

Why am I doing what I'm I get up and I surf, I get up and I go on a Zoom meeting for a company I don't really care about.

And, you know, what is the significance of my life?

Why does my life matter?

I don't think it does.

And that's, those are the three things to actually keep in mind.

What happens psychologically when life feels random?

When life feels random, then it feels like anything could happen at any time and there is no control.

There are no levers that you can actually pull.

So you, you're not an active player in your own life when there is no coherence, when you don't see a pattern, it's a big problem.

You know, when you, when you, you remember when you learn to drive, how old do you have to be in the UK?

17. Okay.

And, and when you first, you know, you got a lot of confidence, but when you're looking at the traffic and all like, and it's like, it's like chaos.

Wildly intimidating.

I learned to drive in a mini, which is a very British way to do it, but it's fucking terrifying.

You're like half the height of everybody else.

Yeah.

And you know, any, any system that you're in that doesn't seem to make sense, that's.

that that that it tends to feel really really meaningless

because you don't know what you can actually do to have some sense of agency.

There's no sense of agency when there is no coherence, is what it comes down to.

So, for example, if you believe that things happen the way they do because that's what God wills, then you're going to try to work that lever.

You're going to pray.

For example, you're going to have a relationship with God.

If you believe it's because of the laws of science, you're going to learn more about science, and you're going to actually enter into that particular dimension.

So, for example, I'm a behavioral scientist.

I really believe in science.

I really believe that it's just like, it gives you My job is to explain the science and explain how people can interact with the science.

It's a pure coherence play is what it comes down to.

And if it's all about conspiracy theories, then I'm going to get online and, you know, share them with my friends.

So that's why coherence really matters, so that you can have agency over your life.

And why are directionalists people so psychologically fragile?

They're fragile because they don't know actually in which direction that they're going, which means they can't make progress.

Now, remember this whole idea of happiness comes from making progress toward a goal.

And there's tons of really interesting examples of this.

The weight loss literature is super interesting in this.

So, Diets are all effective and they're all catastrophic failures is what it comes down to.

Effective insofar as that almost any diet will make you lose weight, but they have between an 80 and 95 % failure rate after a year, meaning you gain all the weight back and then some.

It's a weird industry.

It's like a $40 billion industry in the United States that fails.

It's poroboros of nutritional advice.

It's craziness.

You know, 9 out of 10 times, they fail.

Um, now, now why, why are they successful? Because

in in economically it's because temporarily they make you make progress

but they ultimately fail

because once you get to your goal your goal weight the

reward is never getting to eat what you like ever again for the rest of your life congratulations

100

that and then you get the arrival fallacy is what it comes down to

101

so what you want in life is something where you can

102

just make constant progress i want to be like i want

103

to be a better dad i want to be a better person i want to create "Eh, well, I got to the best dad I can possibly be,

104

so that's all good." No, I can always work to be a better husband.

105

I can always work to be a better friend.

106

I can always work to be a better citizen.

107

I can always work to love my country more.

108

I can always work to actually do something more important in my work

109

and reach more people with the moral objectives that I have.

110

And that's what I need.

111

I need goals I can't meet.

112

I don't...

113

I think that the confusing thing is that if...

114

Significance is about being valuable to others and not famous.

115

Why is it the case that modern people confuse the two?

116

Part of the reason is because, um, what strivers they get into there's actually a pathology that that that is in the middle of this.

117

So what you find is that certain people, Let me back up a little bit.

118

I work, I'm sort of the striver whisperer.

119

In my work, I specialize in people who do incredible things, right?

120

And that's just because...

121

That's fun, although it is, but because that's the kind of books that I write, you know, people who do amazing things and still don't have perfect lives.

122

That's, kind of my area of research.

123

as a matter of fact, they have a common childhood.

124

And it kind of looks like this, you know, super strivers who are never satisfied and struggle.

125

They generally speaking, um, found that they only got attention and affection from their parents when they did something.

126

when they got good grades, when they made pitcher on the baseball team, when they made first chair in the orchestra, when they, right?

127

When they, you know, set up a lemonade stand and made more money than anybody thought possible, whatever it was, right?

128

And their parents, often their parents are immigrants or came from poverty, and they'll reward their kids when they do a thing,

129

thinking that they're actually wiring in success and happiness for their kids.

130

What they're telling their kids is that love is earned.

131

They're teaching their kids that love is earned and they kids will learn that.

132

And when your brain is synaptically plastic, boy, will you ever learn that lesson?

133

And then you will go through life trying to earn love over and over and over and over again.

134

You'll look for, if you're a man, you'll look for women who make you earn their love.

135

Right?

136

And that you'll spend your marriage trying to bring in more and more and more and more money, for example.

137

Women will try to stay young forever by trying to earn their husband's love.

138

You'll find that they will surround themselves with sycophants

139

and yes -men who are just like fake friends who make these people earn their love with gifts and favors and fanciness.

140

And you'll surround yourself with people because you believe that love is actually earned.

141

Well, the truth is that that's wrong.

142

Real love isn't earned.

143

It's a free gift, freely given.

144

It's a grace.

145

Anybody who makes you earn their love doesn't love you.

146

That's what it comes down to.

147

they've, um, uh, evolved over the course of their lives and they're, they're, they're, they become success addicts,

148

winning addicts, looking for the specialness and, and in the modern economy, when you can metastasize that from one to your family,

149

to your community, to your church, to your city, to the whole world on the internet,

150

then you're going to be searching for the adoration of strangers because it's the best possible dopamine hit that you can get.

151

And life is going Don't get it.

152

So this is a pathology that actually people have.

153

And the more talented you are, the more danger you're in.

154

You might not believe me, but this...

155

It's what peak sleep optimization looks like.

156

I'm not talking about the nightgown.

157

It's just for sex appeal.

158

I'm talking about my Eight Sleep.

159

The Eight Sleep Pod 5 comes with a smart cover you throw on your mattress

160

that actively cools or heats each side of the bed up to 20 degrees.

161

And now they've added the world's first temperature -regulating duvet and pillowcase.

162

So you've got 360 -degree coverage for deep, uninterrupted rest.

163

It's like being Walt Disney without the cryogenic chamber. and the racism.

164

Best of all, their autopilot feature learns your sleep patterns and makes adjustments to improve your sleep in real time.

165

It even detects when you're snoring and lifts your head a few inches to help you breathe better.

166

That's why Eight Sleep has been clinically proven to add up to one hour of quality sleep per night.

167

They have a 30 -day sleep trial, so you can buy it and sleep on it for 29 nights.

168

If you don't like it, they will give you your money back.

169

Plus, they ship internationally.

170

Right now, you can get up to $350 off the pod 5 by

171

going to the link in the description below by heading to eightsleep .com slash modernwisdom and using the code

172

That's eighhtsleep .com /modernwisdom and modern wisdom.

173

Check out.

174

Congratulations.

175

You made it to the end of a clip and the full length episode is available right here.

176

Go on.

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: 3 Questions That Reveal What Your Life Is Missing - Arthur Brooks - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

इस पाठ के बारे में

मुख्य शब्दावली और वाक्यांश

अभ्यास सुझाव

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?