Pratica di Shadowing: Good communicator secrets nobody tells you - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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153 frasi
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The losers, the conversations that produced the worst connection, the most awkwardness were, what do you do?
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Why?
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So these last two, how are you and what do you do?
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They're very socially scripted, right?
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The moment we ask those questions, our brain goes into autopilot.
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So there's a lack, it's more of a performance.
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There's a lack of excitement in the conversation.
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And they ran out of things to talk about.
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They're fact -based questions.
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And this is the trap of what we'll call level one conversation, which is you are trapped in fact.
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Where are you from? got any kids, married, the facts are dead ends, right?
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So it's very hard for someone to break out of that fact because they're stuck in that social script.
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The best conversation starter was actually a sneaker.
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I was like, well, interesting that this one did best by lot.
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It was, what was the highlight of your day?
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Now, what this question does psychologically, it sounds casual.
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Well, first of all, it's not too deep.
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A mistake that extroverts can make is they ask too deep, too quickly, right?
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They're like, what is your greatest goal in life?
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And you're like, I don't know you, right?
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So it's not too deep, but it's a subtle replacement for how are you.
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You're actually asking the other person's brain to search for optimism.
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You're literally inviting their brain to think like, what was good?
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And then they think, well, highlighted my day.
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So one, we just broke autopilot.
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The moment someone goes, oh, and they're thinking for the first time, their brain goes, ooh, we get to do something new.
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So they got to think of something new, and it was immediate.
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It wasn't like a too big of a question.
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The second question was, have anything exciting you're working on?
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This is kind of a subtle replacement for what do you do, right?
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If someone likes what they do, they're going to talk about it, but they're going to reframe it in something exciting.
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And if someone isn't defined by what they do, they're going to share something better.
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The third question, very, very simple, was do you have any fun plans coming up?
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These questions, the first three, are literally searching for good.
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You're inviting the other person to only think about good things and we're juicing excitement from other parts of their life.
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Now the fourth question, this fourth question, people either loved it or they hated it.
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They either gave it a five, that was like the most connective thing I felt all week,
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or a zero, and a zero wasn't even an option on my scale.
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It was the question, what's your story?
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Extroverts tend to default to that question because they want to go a little bit deeper.
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But actually, that is a level three question.
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It is way too advanced.
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For someone who's introverted or someone who has never framed their story that quickly, they're immediately put into cortisol.
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They're immediately put into fight or flight.
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They're like, what's my story?
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How can I give that to you so quickly?
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So you're by accident putting them into conversational fear.
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This is when I realized there's a hierarchy.
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Dr. Dan McAdams found that conversation is actually not as fluid as we would like to think
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that actually when we're trying to connect with someone else, we are trying to move through three distinct levels.
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Level one is called general traits.
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This is why in those first few minutes, you're basically trying to Google fact check someone.
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Like, where are you from?
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What do you do?
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Married.
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Where do you live in LA?
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Right?
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Like you're trying to ask all those questions because there's a sort of social hierarchy.
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Our brain processes social facts from least intimate to most intimate.
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So we cannot get to know someone on their deepest dreams and worries if we don't know the basic facts about them.
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So that is why we often fall into that trap of those fact -based questions.
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The key here is that really good level one question is taking those facts but adding story, but adding emotion.
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So the best way to do level one better is you're swapping out those bad questions, right?
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How are you?
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What do you do?
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With looking for a story.
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I truly believe a fact is a stop sign.
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A story is a doorway.
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Okay, so one of them, we actually can place it on here, is what's your personal passion project, okay?
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Now, what's your personal passion project is actually a hunt for stories, right?
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And would you open with that?
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Is that what you're saying?
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Or is it doesn't really matter?
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It has to come.
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It can come in the first few minutes.
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Now, I probably wouldn't walk into a room and be like, what's your personal passion project, Stephen?
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Right?
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It's a little bit much.
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We have to do our basic first impression, and we can talk about, you know, first 10 words in a little bit.
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But as an opener question, it's better than how are you.
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And I have to pause here and say, everything I'm going to share takes a little bit of conversational courage.
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It's really safe to ask how are you.
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It's really safe to ask what do you do.
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But if you want to be memorable, if you want to actually spark connection, those won't serve you.
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So it does take a little bit of courage to ask this, but the answers you're going to get are incredibly interesting.
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You're going to get stories.
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You're going to get a hint at values.
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If you want to know if they're married or have kids, they probably will tell you by accident.
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So it's like a hunt for stories.
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Same with, I mentioned this one in the study, so working on anything exciting these days.
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This is, again, one of my favorite swap questions because you're hunting for something good.
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Now, when I think about conversation in level one, you're trying to gift someone a chemical cocktail.
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a little bit.
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And I think in level one, these two questions are doing a lot of heavy lifting.
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They are now competing with your feed.
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I went to a PTA meeting recently, and those are torture, if you've ever been to one for any parents watching.
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What's a PTA meeting?
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Oh, a parent -teacher meeting.
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Okay.
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Right.
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So a bunch of other parents in the room.
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And I wanted to go meet other moms because I just moved across the country to try to meet more people.
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And I was excited.
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I was like, Okay, I'm going to meet more moms.
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Here we go.
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And I walk in the room and everyone's scrolling.
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Everyone's on their feed.
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And I realize, wow, conversation now is not just about a way for me to make friends.
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It actually has to compete with that feed.
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I have to make my questions and my answers so dopamine worthy that they're actually going to beat that feed.
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Otherwise, they're going to go right back to their phone.
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That is why these have to do more lifting because if I want to compete with the feed, I have to produce dopamine,
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a little bit of excitement, a little bit of motivation.
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I also have to create what I would call, forgive me for this word, but conversational confetti.
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This is like, we got to lift a little bit more in our conversations
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because otherwise someone's going to go right back to scrolling.
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Their brain is somewhere else.
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Either their brain is in their email list or their brain is on their feed.
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When I was studying amazing conversationalists, one of the one people I studied is Howard Stern.
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So however you feel about Howard Stern, he is a master conversationalist.
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I mean, he can carry on long, very interesting.
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He gets people to say things that I could never imagine.
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So I analyzed thousands of transcripts of his interviews, and I found one pattern.
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He does a very good job of creating information gaps.
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So he'll say, what's the weirdest thing you've ever done?
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Or he'll say, the most surprising thing that happened to me yesterday, you want to hear what it was?
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And your brain doesn't like not knowing.
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So when it hears the most surprising, the weirdest, the biggest, the worst, the most embarrassing, the brain creates this gap.
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Like it's this information gap where the brain is like, I have to know what is the weirdest thing.
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So also what happens with these kinds of questions is we're creating these little information gaps
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and actually saying and using in conversation these phrases is a way that we can create more intrigue and interest.
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And I know that sounds like, what?
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But think about this.
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If something crazy happened to you yesterday and you walk into dinner
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and you're like guys the craziest thing happened to me yesterday everyone's like phones down right
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now I couldn't say something boring
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I couldn't be like I was stuck in traffic yeah unless you want to be funny
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but I think that looking for opportunities to create
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that little bit of conversational confetti they come up with questions like this this is the last one
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so have any fun plans coming up
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now the reason why this one is important I agonized over this over this third question
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because there's three questions for each level is have any fun
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plans coming up is a subtle way to bring up potential shared future psychologically speaking we bond with someone
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when we feel like we could do something fun with them
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or they're doing something fun that i would also like to do i think
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that part of these questions is being known for asking better questions like being known for searching for hunting
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or hunting for excitement because what happen is with people who know you at work
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or your work friends or outside of work friends is they'll bring these things to you.
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They know that you're going to ask out personal passions.
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So next time you get to say, hey, last time we were talking, you mentioned XYZ.
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How's that going?
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So they also become your callbacks.
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They make conversation easier later.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “Good communicator secrets nobody tells you”. Questo video contiene 153 frasi e 1728 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 8:37. Chi parla va veloce, circa 201 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 87% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire. 36 delle sue 153 frasi sono domande: un buon esercizio per l’intonazione interrogativa e le risposte brevi.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| passion sostantivo | /ˈpæʃən/ | passione |
| excitement sostantivo | /ɪkˈsaɪtmənt/ | eccitamento, orgasmo |
| compete verbo | /kəmˈpiːt/ | competere, gareggiare |
| trap sostantivo | /tɹæp/ | trappola, tranello |
| gap sostantivo | /ɡæp/ | breccia, fessura |
| replacement sostantivo | /ɹɪˈpleɪsmənt/ | sostituto, rimpiazzo |
| script sostantivo | /skɹɪpt/ | scritto |
| courage sostantivo | /ˈkʌ.ɹɪd͡ʒ/ | coraggio |
| invite verbo | /ɪnˈvaɪt/ | invitare |
| highlight verbo | /ˈhaɪˌlaɪt/ | mettere in evidenza, enfatizzare |
| intimate aggettivo | /ˈɪn.tɪ.mət/ | stretto, intimo |
| swap verbo | /ˈswɑp/ | scambiare, barattare |
| hierarchy sostantivo | /ˈhaɪ.ə.ɹɑː(ɹ).ki/ | gerarchia |
| connect verbo | /kəˈnɛkt/ | connettere, connettersi |
| incredibly avverbio | /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/ | incredibilmente |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| come up verbo | venire fuori, emergere |
| bring up verbo | menzionare, nominare |
| come up with verbo | ideare, escogitare |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- It was, what was the highlight of your day?
- They're like, what is your greatest goal in life?
- It was the question, what's your story?
- They're like, what's my story?
- Is that what you're saying?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | are trapped · isn't defined · is called |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | has never framed · you've ever been · you've ever done |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | conversation, which is · someone who has · people who know |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 54 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, they're, we're. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: passion /ˈpæʃən/, impression /ɪmˈpɹɛʃn̩/, casual /ˈkæʒ(u)əl/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: hierarchy /ˈhaɪ.ə.ɹɑː(ɹ).ki/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, optimism /ˈɑptɪmɪzəm/, conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: highlight /ˈhaɪˌlaɪt/, hierarchy /ˈhaɪ.ə.ɹɑː(ɹ).ki/, hint /hɪnt/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: excitement /ɪkˈsaɪtmənt/, compete /kəmˈpiːt/, trap /tɹæp/, gap /ɡæp/, replacement /ɹɪˈpleɪsmənt/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: passion /ˈpæʃən/, trap /tɹæp/, gap /ɡæp/, casual /ˈkæʒ(u)əl/, analyze /ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come passion, excitement, compete.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.