Pratica di Shadowing: How Much Do You Love Yourself? Jay Shetty & Quinlan Walther on Self-Reflection & Real Change - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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135 frasi
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But I wanted to ask you this question.
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You say, one of my favorite things that you say, you said in a video that you can tell how much you love yourself by the partner that you've chosen.
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Tell me about that.
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Well, I pose it as a question because if you hear someone say, in the video I think you're referring to,
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how would you feel if someone said that they can tell how much you love yourself by the partner that you've chosen?
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Does that feel like a compliment or an insult?
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And what that really distills down to, I'm not passing a judgment on your relationship, but the way you feel about that question can offer a lot of insight.
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Have you tolerated treatment that really, really doesn't feel great?
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It doesn't really feel loving.
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It's not what someone would put up with if they loved themselves.
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or man, I've chosen a really patient, loving, incredible person.
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You know, some part of me must like myself enough to choose someone who loves me in such a way.
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It's really, really most, mostly about reflection.
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What is it that we're choosing?
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And am I, am I making decisions, building relationships, investing in relationships that reflect love,
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love for myself and back to the values.
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You know, am I making decisions based on my values or am I stagnant?
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Am I complacent?
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Am I participating in this negative dynamic as well?
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It's really about reflection and seeing what comes up for people.
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Yeah, it's a great reflection.
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Such a great question.
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And it's a great way if you're dating right now to really make the right shifts and changes.
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Absolutely.
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And if you're married and you feel like you've made the wrong decision, what would you do if someone's listening to that and they're going, like I'm listening to you right now,
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Q, and that feels tough because my partner's not present.
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I know they love me, but I'm not sure we, I think we lost it somewhere along the way.
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What would you say to them?
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I love that distinction too.
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I say dating is about discernment.
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Marriage is about devotion.
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Not the other way around.
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Say that again.
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Dating is about discernment, not devotion.
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Devotion is to be saved for marriage or long-term relationships, long-term partnerships.
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that's important as you're making decisions but what i would say to someone who's realizing
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that maybe their relationship dynamic is not as loving as they would want it to be
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first things first take a look at your side of the street
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that doesn't mean that doesn't mean it's your fault this is not a blame game
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but if you envision the kind of relationship you want with your husband, with your wife, with your partner, what does it consist of?
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And how can you add more of that now?
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How can you be the first to add, to try?
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How can you show up as the partner you want to be?
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Where's the appreciation for the ways that they are making effort?
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It's really easy to get sucked into a disappointment spiral.
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You go down the rabbit hole and all you can see are the things that they aren't doing, the things they're doing wrong, the ways that they aren't showing up, pull yourself out of that.
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If you want your relationship to work, you have to pull yourself out of that.
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Even if you choose to leave, don't choose to leave in the bottom of the disappointment spiral.
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Anyway, clean up your side of the street and go first.
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Great advice, yeah.
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That's what I would say.
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The follow-up to that is have a conversation with your spouse.
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Hey, I want more of this because I love you.
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I feel really distant.
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I feel really lonely.
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We both have a lot going on.
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Can we come up with a plan to reconnect?
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What do you want more of?
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Here's what I want more of.
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Can we get on board?
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It doesn't have to be so humdrum, negative.
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Oh, we have to fix this.
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It can be an exciting thing if you want it to be and if you come with the right energy.
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And if it is the right person
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then they'll at least try to meet you there yeah what's the difference between keeping someone accountable
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and trying to change them i don't think you can keep people accountable i don't really believe
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that it's possible or hold someone accountable
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if you're with someone who's really lacking consistency they're not really following through on their word
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and you're thinking i i i need a little bit more here.
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They're not taking initiative.
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I can't trust them to do what they say that they're going to do.
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You can bring that up.
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This is what I'm noticing.
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I'm finding it hard to rely on you because you haven't done the things that you said that you're going to do.
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I mean, can we talk about this?
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And if they say, I want to be a more consistent, reliable person.
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Thank you for bringing that to my attention.
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Great.
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Now they want to make that change.
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You've brought it to light.
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It is on them to make the change.
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You can lovingly, hey, again, this thing didn't get done, but the buck stops there.
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You can't be breathing down their neck.
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You definitely don't want to meet them with criticism or constant disappointment.
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People don't actually change from that place.
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So if they want to make the change themselves, great, beautiful.
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The onus is on them.
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You can be loving and supportive in the process, but I don't believe that we can really hold people accountable
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and we definitely can't force them to change i fully agree
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and and i think the hardest part of it is you know how hard it is to change yourself
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so even when someone says they want to change themselves you've got to realize how hard
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that is right you may have your partner say to you yeah i really do want to work out
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and get in the gym more
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and then they're never in the gym they're always watching sport
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they're hanging out whatever it is you know how hard that is to do
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And so it's such an interesting dynamic because we almost think change should be really easy for other people, knowing that it's really hard for ourselves.
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And then when they don't change, we're upset or disappointed in them.
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And if you just thought for a second about how hard it is to change yourself and build good habits yourself,
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I think you'd have more empathy and compassion for someone else.
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That's how I see it, at least.
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We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, and we tend to judge others by their actions or their follow-through or the result of their thing, right?
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So I meant to go to the gym five days this week.
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I really only made it once, but I intended to.
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I had a lot going on.
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My intentions were good.
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I tried.
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They don't go to the gym five times a week.
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They only go once and suddenly it's a reflection of their character, right?
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They're unreliable.
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They lack discipline.
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They aren't motivated.
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That was hold on here.
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Let's find the color amongst all this black and white thinking.
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I totally agree.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's the toughest one I see.
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I always just feel like, and that's why I love that you said start on your side of the street,
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because I think a lot of relationship language and podcasting
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and conversations right now are all about how do you spot if someone's good?
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And I'm just like, oh, it's a dangerous game to play because in that scenario, you're always the detective and the secret agent,
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and the other person's always the villain in some way.
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And while that can be true in certain cases where there's extremes, the reality is most of us are all flawed and making mistakes at the same time.
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And if you want a peaceful, emotionally intelligent person, with all of these traits that are wonderful.
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I love that for you.
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You have to be the other half of that relationship.
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You also want to be patient and calm, slow to conflict, kind with your words, even when you're frustrated.
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You can handle some disappointment.
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You want to be the other half of that loving relationship.
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It's not going to come from focusing on all the red flags you need to look out for
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and all the things that the specific ways they need to show up to prove to you
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that they are who they say
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that they are focus on your side of the street focus on being the other half of this relationship
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that you want
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so badly rather than trying to figure out the quick fixes
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to avoid all of the bad fish in the sea it's a waste of time in my opinion
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “How Much Do You Love Yourself? Jay Shetty & Quinlan Walther on Self-Reflection & Real Change”. Questo video contiene 135 frasi e 1518 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 8:38. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 176 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Il 87% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| accountable aggettivo | /əˈkaʊntəbl̩/ | responsabile |
| disappointment sostantivo | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/ | delusione, disappunto |
| reflection sostantivo | /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/ | riflessione |
| devotion sostantivo | /dɪˈvoʊʃən/ | devozione |
| discernment sostantivo | distinzione, oculatezza | |
| spiral sostantivo | /ˈspaɪɹəl/ | spirale |
| envision verbo | /ɪnˈvɪʒn̩/ | immaginare, prevedere |
| excite verbo | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | stimolare, eccitare |
| lovingly avverbio | amorosamente | |
| reconnect verbo | /ˌɹiː.kəˈnɛkt/ | ricollegare, riconnettere |
| unreliable aggettivo | /ˌʌn.ɹəˈlaɪ.ə.bəl/ | inaffidabile |
| motivate verbo | /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/ | motivare |
| trait sostantivo | /tɹeɪt/ | caratteristica, tratto |
| empathy sostantivo | /ˈɛmpəθi/ | empatia |
| tolerate verbo | /ˈtɑ.lə.ɹeɪt/ | tollerare, sopportare |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| clean up verbo | ripulire |
| come up with verbo | ideare, escogitare |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto |
| put up with verbo | sopportare, tollerare |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Have you tolerated treatment that really, really doesn't feel great?
- What is it that we're choosing?
- Am I participating in this negative dynamic as well?
- What would you say to them?
- Can we come up with a plan to reconnect?
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 55 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come they're, you're, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, devotion /dɪˈvoʊʃən/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/, envision /ɪnˈvɪʒn̩/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, unreliable /ˌʌn.ɹəˈlaɪ.ə.bəl/, consistency /kənˈsɪs.tən.si/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, appreciation /əˌpɹiː.ʃiˈeɪ.ʃən/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/, complacent /kəmˈpleɪsənt/, excite /ɪkˈsaɪt/, extremes /ɪkˈstɹimz/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: stagnant /ˈstæɡnənt/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, rabbit /ˈɹæbɪt/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come accountable, disappointment, reflection.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.