Pratica di Shadowing: Why relationships in 2026 carry impossible expectations | Alain de Botton - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
Scegli una modalità di pratica
Ogni modalità apre una sala di pratica a schermo intero.
141 frasi
Se le frasi sono troppo corte o troppo lunghe, clicca su Edit per modificarle.
1
It used to be the case that when people found partners, they would do so according to fairly pragmatic considerations.
2
Couples were formed not by the individuals themselves, but by the wider society.
3
There were, if you like, dynastic marriages.
4
There was then a momentous change that occurs towards the end of the 18th century, that we now know as Romanticism.
5
And one of the central tenets of Romanticism is that each individual should be left to decide on their partner
6
by their own, the movements of their own heart.
7
It's a beautiful idea, it's a very liberating idea.
8
And let's put it plainly, It's been a disaster.
9
We are not any appreciably happier now in a romantic culture than we were in a dynastic culture. And why?
10
Because we live in a romantic culture that sees something adverse in planning
11
and thinking and reflecting too hard on the business of love and it's been a serious problem for humanity.
12
My name is Alain de Botton.
13
I'm a philosopher, psychotherapist and founder of the School of Life.
14
the unique challenge of modern gating.
15
We know in theory that love matters a lot.
16
It's in every pop song, it's the center of most religions.
17
We sometimes lose sight of what that word actually means.
18
It's really about connection.
19
And it is one of the most beautiful and one of the most complicated, of all phenomena Even though we think we've been around on this planet for a long time,
20
trying to figure things out, I'd say we were still at the dawn collectively.
21
of making sense of this phenomenon we call love, And it's no surprise that most people will go to their deathbeds thinking,
22
Not quite sure I've figured that side of life out.
23
At least many of us will.
24
still be grappling with some of the complexities of love by the time time runs out on us.
25
The most central kind of love that people are obsessed about, concerned about, is romantic love.
26
That is the intimate connection between two human beings who have a sexual Contact.
27
It's worth saying that there are other forms of love, We can love our children, we can love animals, we can love ideas,
28
we can love tables, chairs, clouds, all sorts of things.
29
We are capable of many forms of love.
30
But I'd say that when people sing about love, and when they cry about love,
31
it tends to be the love of one very special person we tend to call our soulmate, our partner.
32
It used to be the case that when people found partners, they would do so according to fairly pragmatic considerations.
33
in most nations, in most parts of the world, for most of history, Couples were formed not by the individuals themselves, but by the wider society,
34
families, the village, the court.
35
There were, if you like, dynastic marriages.
36
You would get together with somebody because they had a plow
37
and you had an ox and it seemed like a good match.
38
Or you were the Duke of Brabant and they were the Princess of Naples.
39
And that was seen as a wonderful union.
40
So you got together for reasons that were nothing to do with emotional compatibility.
41
There were a lot of tears, there was sadness, there was loneliness, it didn't seem to matter.
42
because relationships were seen to be about something else.
43
There was then a momentous change that occurs in, towards the end of the 18th century,
44
starting in Britain, France, Germany, parts of Italy, a revolution in feeling, that we now know as Romanticism.
45
And one of the central tenets of Romanticism is that each individual should be left to decide
46
on their partner by the movements of their own heart.
47
they should be left to decide for themselves.
48
It's a beautiful idea, It's a very...
49
a liberating idea, it should make a lot of sense.
50
And we have been in the Romantic age now for you know, 200 years, perhaps shorter, perhaps a little longer, that kind of time period.
51
And let's put it plainly: It's been a disaster.
52
We are not any appreciably happier now in a romantic culture than we were in a dynastic culture,
53
where marriages were made for dynastic reasons.
54
Why?
55
Because we have failed collectively to focus with enough intent on the difficulties that couples will have when they choose each other,
56
according to the movements of their own heart.
57
Look, I think a really key...
58
prejudice of the romantic worldview is that if love is working well, It should be following instinct.
59
There's been an enormous veneration Mr. Worship of instinct.
60
Love is described as a special feeling, not in a set of ideas, not a sense of rationally observable principles, but a feeling.
61
You either have the feeling or you don't.
62
You must be guided, by your feeling.
63
There's even a prejudice against language.
64
You know, true lovers shouldn't talk too much.
65
They should just feel the fluttering of their own hearts.
66
That's why music has a huge prestige.
67
higher than philosophy.
68
When we're in love, we don't want to read philosophical tracks, we want to hear love songs.
69
That is to do with our sense that emotion should be guiding us, not reason.
70
Reason is the enemy in the romantic worldview.
71
of truly happy relationships.
72
If you follow reason, that's cold, it may be calculating, it's unromantic.
73
And, you know, there are so many things that are considered unromantic.
74
and I would love to train our audience.
75
That every time something seems unromantic, Question it.
76
Is it truly unromantic?
77
If we define Romanticism, as the pursuit of a workable relationship.
78
On that basis, is it unromantic to talk about money?
79
Is it unromantic?
80
to think long and hard about childhood patterns of psychological development.
81
Is it anti -romantic? to spend a lot of time thinking about families and friends and compatibility at that level.
82
All these things, in my view, belong to a truly adequate way of surveying whether a couple should be together.
83
But I'm also aware that nowadays these things are considered very unromantic.
84
To live in a romantic culture, means to live in a culture that has a set of ideas about how good couples should form.
85
They should be formed by instinct, that everybody has a soulmate, that you'll recognize your soulmate by a special, flattery feeling, that you shouldn't be asked to account for that feeling,
86
you should simply go for it and marry in Vegas in two weeks
87
if that's what seizes you and that you should be able to
88
Communicate deeply with your partner without using language through that special medium of the heart, through the silence, Also that you shouldn't criticize your partner,
89
that true partners should love each other for who they really are, which means no desire to grow or change.
90
You just accept someone.
91
Couples in romantic culture will sometimes complain, "You're trying to change me." And this is seen as really offensive.
92
It's like, what?
93
You know, you complain to your friends.
94
My partner's trying to change me.
95
Oh, what an awful person.
96
This must be awful.
97
You must get out immediately.
98
If you went to an ancient Greek, if you went to Athens in 400 BC, And you said to an ancient Greek, what is love?
99
and where is the role of criticism, they would say, Love is a process of education.
100
It's the education of emotion.
101
And lovers should of course be able to pick each other up for things that they don't spot in one another.
102
And they should be trying to develop into the best version of themselves, rather than simply staying stuck in an admiration for who they are today.
103
The whole process should be dynamic.
104
become who you could be, not worship who you happen to be right now.
105
All of this sounds very strange in Romantic culture, which is why relationships are so difficult in our time.
106
Let's remember that a person's life satisfaction is determined by up to around 70 % by the quality of their personal relationships.
107
A Martian hearing that statistic visiting planet Earth would think, "Well, clearly earthlings, given the enormous role of love, will be spending 70 % of their money
108
and 70 % of their educational time working out how on earth this business of love works." Is that true?
109
No. We spend hardly any time rationally thinking about it.
110
None of us are made to sit through classes in attachment theory, classes in apology, classes in listening, classes in communication.
111
No, we're, you know, Physics is important.
112
Geography is important.
113
Don't get me wrong.
114
But is there no time for this given its role in our lives?
115
Do we really want to leave this to chance?
116
And the answer is yes. And why?
117
because we live in a romantic culture that sees something adverse in planning
118
and thinking and reflecting too hard on the business of love.
119
It's very deleterious, and it's been a serious problem for humanity.
120
One of the most powerful disseminators of romantic culture is art.
121
And by art, I mean all the leading artistic media.
122
Film, definitely.
123
You know, if you were learning about love from films you would be very confused.
124
And that's why many of us are confused, because films, and I include that television shows and other narrative forms, these things are hugely misleading.
125
They simply Do not show what a real relationship is like.
126
I mean, probably you can count on one hand, that the number of films that have accurately shown love.
127
I think one of the most accurate representations of love is Richard Linklater's Before Trilogy.
128
which ended up with Before Midnight.
129
It's a wonderful reckoning, really, with the real complexities of love.
130
But, you know, most films are not that.
131
Most films are blithe, are superficial, are...
132
not modest enough in showing us what's really going on between couples.
133
It's also stimulated through music, and music constantly It gives us little miniature stories about how love works.
134
And the music is terrific but it's not accurate to what's going on.
135
presses the wrong buttons.
136
Poetry, no one really reads poetry nowadays.
137
If they did, the problem exists in poetry too.
138
So We have so much media around.
139
and yet we're still so much strangers to ourselves, I would say that the single greatest, most misleading disseminator of ideas on love is
140
culture and art.
141
The problem is very heavily located there.
Scarica l'app
Tutto ciò che serve per parlare fluentemente
Pronuncia con IAVoto per ogni frase
Pratica IPAPadroneggia ogni suono
VocabolarioCostruisci il tuo lessico
Gioco di vocabolarioImpara giocando
Stesso Canale
B21
You can progress more in 6 minutes than you would in a month | Daniel Coyle
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C11
Semiconductors explained in 16 mins | Chris Miller
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
Mark Manson: Self-control is a complete illusion
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C13
The strange reason nobody views their own retaliation as evil | Paul Bloom
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C111
The 3 ways stupidity spreads throughout a society | Jonny Thomson
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
B228
Your phone addiction is keeping you from achieving flow state | Arthur Brooks
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C13
The paradox at the heart of AI and science | Terence Tao
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C12
The one principal that all highly successful people share | Mark Manson
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
Physician: Listen to your body’s wisdom instead of constantly pushing to optimize it | Giulia Enders
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
5 Stoic lessons to become your best self in 2026 | Massimo Pigliucci
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1The uncomfortable question you should ask on every first date | Alain de Botton
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1The science of stress, coping, and recovery, in 22 minutes | Lisa Damour
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1How to pull yourself out of a cheap dopamine spiral | Mark Manson
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1Mary Beard: Why no film has ever cracked The Odyssey
Cambridge Exam PrepUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
FOR YOU
Video consigliato
C15
70 frasi
What True Love Really Is
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C185
66 frasi
What science can’t answer, according to physicist Jim Al-Khalili | Big Think
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
593 frasi
The Dark Psychology of Value: Force Others to Respect - Alain de Botton
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
150 frasi
Why We Can't Save Those We Love
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C110
74 frasi
How to Stop Feeling Nostalgic for an Ex
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
237 frasi
Sexuality Professor Answers Dating Questions | Tech Support | WIRED
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B29
36 frasi
What Keeps Me OPTIMISTIC About the Future | Simon Sinek
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C11
306 frasi
Why Nihilism is Taking Over Modern Society
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C14
290 frasi
Why Is Everyone So Unhappy?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
201 frasi
The Freedom of Loneliness
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
27 frasi
102. ジミー・カーが語る関係の美学: 愛もまた、日常である ON English｜言葉と物語
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
56 frasi
love without attachment
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
Contesto & Sfondo
Nel video "Perché le relazioni nel 2026 portano aspettative impossibili", Alain de Botton, filosofo e psicoterapeuta, esplora la complessità delle relazioni moderne e come la cultura romantica influenzi le aspettative nei rapporti. De Botton sottolinea che storicamente, le relazioni erano spesso il risultato di decisioni pratiche piuttosto che di emozioni. Con l'avvento del romanticismo, l'idea che ogni individuo scelga il proprio compagno basandosi sui propri sentimenti ha portato a relazioni più difficili e confuse. Il suo discorso invita a riflettere sulla natura dell'amore e sulla necessità di una comunicazione aperta e onesta.
Le 5 Frasi Chiave per la Comunicazione Quotidiana
- “L'amore è un processo di educazione.” - Riconoscere che l'amore richiede apprendimento.
- “I veri partner devono amarsi per ciò che sono.” - Spesso, questo può portare a staticità nella relazione.
- “Le relazioni moderne sono confuse.” - Riflessione sulla deviazione dalle aspettative romantiche.
- “Il vero amore richiede impegno e riflessione.” - L'importanza di pensare attivamente alle dinamiche relazionali.
- “Dobbiamo questionare ciò che considerate non romantico.” - Promuovere una visione più ampia e realistica delle relazioni.
Guida Passo-Passo per il Shadowing
Per migliorare la tua pratica di conversazione in inglese attraverso il video di Alain de Botton, puoi seguire questi passi utilizzando una tecnica di shadowing efficace:
- Ascolta il video senza sottotitoli. - Focalizzati sulle emozioni e sul tono della voce di de Botton.
- Riascolta il video con i sottotitoli. - Presta attenzione a come le frasi sono formulate e alla scelta delle parole.
- Ripeti frasi chiave. - Prova a ripetere espressioni significative come quelle elencate sopra per migliorare la pronuncia inglese.
- Registra te stesso mentre parli. - Ascolta le tue ripetizioni per identificare aree di miglioramento e affinare la tua abilità di shadow speak.
- Infine, discuti le idee presentate. - Utilizza un partner di conversazione per praticare l'espressione delle opinioni sui temi trattati nel video.
Questa tecnica di shadowing non solo ti aiuterà a migliorare le tue capacità linguistiche, ma ti permetterà anche di riflettere sulle complesse dinamiche relazionali in modo critico. Guidare le tue sessioni di apprendimento in questo modo renderà la tua pratica più profonda e coinvolgente.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verbo — un’abitudine o uno stato passato che non è più vero | used to be |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | were formed · should be left · was seen |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | It's been · we've been · I've figured |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | are, which means · culture, which is |
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.