쉐도잉 연습: Ask This Question To Instantly Gain Trust - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
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What if I told you there is one question you can ask that can make people trust you, instantly.
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It's not too good to be true.
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It works.
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I've spent years working on TV as a journalist, interviewing executives, politicians, and powerful people,
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and I have figured out why some people can build trust with others quickly while others shatter it instantly.
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In fact, there's a chapter in my book, Smart Not Loud, titled Building Credibility,
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and I share the exact frameworks of how you can build trust with people,
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because what I have discovered is that building trust doesn't happen by chance or because someone likes you.
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Trust is strategically built into our conversations and how you engage with people.
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It's not inauthentic.
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It's not pretending to be someone you're not.
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That never works.
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It's communicating in a way that shines a clear light on why people should hear you,
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why they should pay attention to you and what you have to say.
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In fact, if you sometimes feel
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like you're an outsider this fish out of water unsure why it's hard to influence people
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and get them to listen to you this video this topic of building trust is something that's gonna change
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I care so deeply about this because so many times I have watched brilliant, talented, hardworking people get passed over,
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get underestimated, not because they weren't good enough, but because people didn't believe them.
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I guarantee after you learn the golden question, people will start to hear you and they're going to want to keep listening to you.
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So here's the first question that instantly helps you build trust Ask.
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"Can I make sure I understand what you're saying?" So simple, right?
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I'm going to say it again so you can really feel the weight of this.
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Ask the question.
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Can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
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But it doesn't end there.
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After you ask this question, you repeat what you heard in your own words.
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And here's why this is so effective.
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99 % of people don't do this.
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And it completely catches the other person off in the best way because they feel acknowledged.
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They feel seen and appreciated.
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And what does that do?
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They like you and they trust you.
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Now, if you're like me, you might wonder, well, this is so effective.
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Why don't more people do it?
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because most people
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when someone is talking to them they are already formulating their
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response in their own mind they're thinking about what they want to say they're reframing defending
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and problem solving in real time meaning they're not actually listening to the essence of what the other person is saying Now,
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I'll be honest with you.
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Early on in my career, I was terrible at this myself.
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I remember being in an editorial meeting as a journalist and whenever someone would push back on my idea,
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I would immediately jump to defend it because I thought that's what confidence looked like.
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You push back, you hold your ground, right?
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But what I noticed over time, was that the people in the room who had the most influence who everyone trusted, They did something differently.
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They paused.
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And they asked, Can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
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And then they briefly restated what they heard And they invited others into the conversation.
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In fact, research backs this up.
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A study out of Harvard Business School found
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that people who ask reflective questions and mirror back what they've heard are rated higher in trustworthiness and competence by their partners,
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not because they agreed, but because the other person felt understood.
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In psychology, When someone feels heard, their nervous system actually settles and their brain stops defending.
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And in that more open state, Trust becomes possible so the next time someone you're trying to build trust with speaks respond with
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Let me make sure I understand what you're saying.
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reflect it back to them.
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And watch what happens to the energy of the room.
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Because this one golden question is the power move that can get people to trust you
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instantly but not just that the trickle effect is
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that you are now seen as someone incredibly likable furthering your influence because now you know how to engage others
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Because we're on this topic of building trust, I actually want to share two more powerful questions you can ask to build trust at work.
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Here's the second one.
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Ask a question that shows your thinking about other people and their needs.
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This one is especially powerful in high stakes moments.
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When you want to pitch an idea, when you want someone's buy -in, when you need a decision maker to trust your recommendation, the question you would ask is,
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Well, how can I make your job easier?
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Let me tell you a story.
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A few years back when I first started my communications training company,
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Soulcast Media, I was preparing to facilitate this large corporate workshop and I had spent weeks on my research.
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My data was airtight.
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My slides were beautiful and polished and I walked in feeling like this workshop was going to be so amazing.
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Well, guess what?
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It didn't land.
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The room wasn't really engaged.
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The questions were like kind of skeptical and I left feeling kind of confused.
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A few days later, a mentor of mine, after I was kind of debriefing her on what happened, she asked me a question that I would never forget.
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And she said, hey, Jess, before you walked into that workshop, I.
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Did you know what they actually needed from you?
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Did you present information that could actually make their job easier?
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Wow.
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The entire time, I was so focused on what I wanted to say, teaching the tips I knew,
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that I never asked, What do they really need to hear?
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I get why this is such a common trap and why we might miss this.
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We often prepare around our own agenda instead of what other people need from us.
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And the problem is this can feel one -sided and sometimes even transactional.
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And I will tell you that doesn't really build trust.
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So how do you use this question to actually build trust at work?
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Well, there's actually two ways you can do it.
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Number one.
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ask it explicitly.
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Like you're talking to your client, your boss, and you can actually say, How can I make your job easier?
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or you can use it the second way, which is to answer that question yourself as you're preparing for your next meeting.
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Right before you walk into a presentation, you ask yourself, "Okay, how can I make people's job easier in this meeting?"
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There's so much research to actually back this up.
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It's called.
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perspective taking.
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Studies in organizational psychology show that people who demonstrate Genuine interest in the other person's goals,
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not just their own, are rated as more trustworthy.
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more collaborative, and more effective.
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Researchers also found that people are more open to persuasion when they believe the other person has already considered their perspective.
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So really asking.
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"How can I make your job easier?" is one of the simplest
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most direct ways to get people to trust you in any situation.
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And here's a third question.
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And this is one of the most effective ways to build trust.
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Ask a question that invites honesty.
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A question might sound like this.
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Is there anything that I might be missing?
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Here's why most people don't use this and why they struggle to build trust.
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Most of us, especially in a professional setting, We're trained to project certainty.
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We have to look like we have the answers.
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We walk in confident and we walk out decisive.
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And yes, confidence matters.
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But there's a version of confidence that can actually destroy trust.
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And it's a version where we cannot admit that we don't have the answer.
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And it's like we have to fake it until we make it, which, by the way, It doesn't work because people can see through it.
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You know, I remember I once interviewed an executive on my leadership podcast called Leading by Example, and this person runs a multi -billion dollar organization.
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And I asked her, what was one thing that she wishes she learned earlier on as a leader?
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And she said, I wish I had learned to ask better questions, especially the uncomfortable ones.
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the ones that give people permission to be honest with me.
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Yeah that reinforced everything for me because that's how you build trust with people you ask better questions and this one
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is there anything i'm missing here is one of the best ways to get people to open up to you.
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And here's the thing.
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When you ask someone to be honest with you, not just fake honest, you're doing something most people never do.
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you're making it safe for them you're showing the human side of yourself and i'm gonna tell you right now
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People connect to people, not the bravado we feel like we need to showcase and that we have all the answers because.
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Being honest is how you build trust.
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By the way, amy edmonston is a researcher at harvard business school
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and she has studied why certain teens perform better than others
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and it's all about making people feel safe and that safety starts with someone being willing to model vulnerability first.
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I'm not saying you tell people, oh, I feel scared, I feel nervous.
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It's more...
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Is there anything that I might be missing?
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Is there anything else on your mind?
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Questions like that signals honesty and it signals openness.
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So let's bring this all together.
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Three questions.
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Three ways to build trust.
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Number one, can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
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Because people trust the people who make them feel heard.
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Number two, How can I make your job easier?
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Because people trust the people who show up thinking about them.
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Number three, Is there anything I might be missing?
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because people trust the people who are brave enough to invite honesty
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And here's what I want you to notice about all three of these questions.
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None of them are about being loud, impressive, aggressive, or even extroverted.
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None of them are about saying the smartest thing.
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They're really about making the other person feel safe.
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And that is a center of building trust it's safety
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and it's feeling like you care it's not just a leadership
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trait this is actually how you can get noticed for all the right reasons If this video was helpful,
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share this video with someone who you think needs to hear it.
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And if you want to go deeper on the communication tips, comment the word smart below,
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and I will DM you a link to book notes from my bestselling book, Smart Not Loud, How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons.
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And of course, don't forget to like and subscribe so that you can get notified each time a brand new video drops.
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I look forward to seeing you in our next video.
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이 레슨의 어휘와 말하기 포인트
이 B2 수준 말하기 레슨은 영상 “Ask This Question To Instantly Gain Trust”을(를) 바탕으로 합니다. 이 영상에는 섀도잉할 문장 156개와 단어 1864개가 있습니다. 말하는 구간의 길이는 12:14입니다. 화자는 분당 약 152단어로, 일상 대화에 가까운 자연스러운 속도로 말합니다. 단어의 87%가 영어에서 가장 많이 쓰이는 3,000단어에 속해 어휘가 쉬운 편입니다.
이 영상의 핵심 어휘
영상에서 가장 어려운 단어 15개를 발음, 뜻과 함께 정리했습니다.
| 단어 | 발음 | 뜻 |
|---|---|---|
| honesty 명사 | /ˈɑ.nɪ.sti/ | 정직 |
| workshop 명사 | /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/ | 작업장, 아틀리에 |
| researcher 명사 | /ˈɹiˌsɝ.t͡ʃɚ/ | 연구원, 연구자 |
| rat 명사 | /ɹæt/ | 쥐 |
| hardworking 형용사 | /ˈhɑːɹdˌwɜːɹ.kɪŋ/ | 근면하다 |
| outsider 명사 | /ˌaʊtˈsaɪdəɹ/ | 외부인, 아웃사이더 |
| reinforce 동사 | /ˌɹiː.ɪnˈfɔːs/ | 보강하다 |
| underestimate 동사 | /ʌndɚˈɛs.tɪ.meɪt/ | 과소평가하다 |
| trait 명사 | /tɹeɪt/ | 특징 |
| vulnerability 명사 | /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/ | 취약성 |
| notify 동사 | /ˈnoʊtɪfaɪ/ | 통치하다, 통보하다 |
| certainty 명사 | /ˈsɝtn̩ti/ | 확신 |
| showcase 명사 | /ˈʃoʊˌkeɪs/ | 진열장, 쇼케이스 |
| mentor 명사 | /ˈmɛn.tɔː/ | 멘토 |
| facilitate 동사 | /fəˈsɪlɪteɪt/ | 일을 용이하게 하다 |
따라 말해 볼 만한 문장
영상에 나오는 짧고 완결된 문장으로, 일상 대화에서 그대로 쓸 수 있습니다:
- Can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
- Did you know what they actually needed from you?
- Is there anything that I might be missing?
- Is there anything else on your mind?
- Number one, can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
이 영상의 문법
화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.
| 문형 | 영상 속 표현 |
|---|---|
| 현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때 | I've spent · have figured · have discovered |
| 관계절 who / which + 절 — 사람이나 사물에 대한 추가 정보 | people who ask · way, which is · people who demonstrate |
| 수동태 be + 과거분사 — 누가 하는지보다 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 초점 | are rated · are now seen |
주의할 발음
화자는 you're, don't, they're 같은 축약형과 약화된 형태를 43번 사용합니다. 들리는 대로 짧게 발음하세요.
- “th” 소리: inauthentic /ˌɪnɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, trustworthiness /ˈtɹʌst.wɜɹ.ði.nɛs/, trustworthy /ˈtɹʌst.wɜː.ði/
- “sh”와 “zh” 소리: workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, persuasion /pɚˈsweɪʒən/, shatter /ˈʃætɚ/, transactional /trænˈzækʃ(ə)nəl/, organizational /ˌɔː(ɹ)ɡənɪˈzeɪʃənəl/
- 긴 단어 — 강세 위치에 주의: extroverted /ˈɛkstɹəˌvəɹtɪd/, inauthentic /ˌɪnɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, transactional /trænˈzækʃ(ə)nəl/, trustworthiness /ˈtɹʌst.wɜɹ.ði.nɛs/, underestimate /ʌndɚˈɛs.tɪ.meɪt/
한국어 화자가 어려워하는 소리:
- /f/ — ㅍ(/p/)으로 바꾸지 말고 윗니를 아랫입술에 대기: debrief /diːˈbɹiːf/, formulate /ˈfɔː(ɹ)mjʊleɪt/, reflective /ɹɪˈflɛktɪv/, reinforce /ˌɹiː.ɪnˈfɔːs/, notify /ˈnoʊtɪfaɪ/
- /v/ — ㅂ(/b/)과 구별하기: bravado /bɹɑˈvɑdoʊ/, extroverted /ˈɛkstɹəˌvəɹtɪd/, reflective /ɹɪˈflɛktɪv/, vulnerability /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/, collaborative /kəˈlæb.ə.ɹə.tɪv/
- /z/ — ㅈ이 아니라 성대를 울리는 /s/: transactional /trænˈzækʃ(ə)nəl/, organizational /ˌɔː(ɹ)ɡənɪˈzeɪʃənəl/, pause /pɔːz/
이 영상으로 연습하는 방법
- 먼저 말하지 않고 영상을 끝까지 듣고 모르는 단어를 적어 둡니다.
- 0.75배속으로 한 문장씩 섀도잉을 시작하고, 익숙해지면 보통 속도로 돌아갑니다.
- 자신의 목소리를 녹음해 원본과 비교하고, honesty, workshop, researcher 같은 단어에 특히 주의합니다.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.