Shadowing Practice: Ask This Question To Instantly Gain Trust - Learn English Speaking with Video
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What if I told you there is one question you can ask that can make people trust you, instantly.
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It's not too good to be true.
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It works.
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I've spent years working on TV as a journalist, interviewing executives, politicians, and powerful people,
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and I have figured out why some people can build trust with others quickly while others shatter it instantly.
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In fact, there's a chapter in my book, Smart Not Loud, titled Building Credibility,
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and I share the exact frameworks of how you can build trust with people,
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because what I have discovered is that building trust doesn't happen by chance or because someone likes you.
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Trust is strategically built into our conversations and how you engage with people.
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It's not inauthentic.
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It's not pretending to be someone you're not.
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That never works.
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It's communicating in a way that shines a clear light on why people should hear you,
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why they should pay attention to you and what you have to say.
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In fact, if you sometimes feel
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like you're an outsider this fish out of water unsure why it's hard to influence people
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and get them to listen to you this video this topic of building trust is something that's gonna change
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I care so deeply about this because so many times I have watched brilliant, talented, hardworking people get passed over,
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get underestimated, not because they weren't good enough, but because people didn't believe them.
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I guarantee after you learn the golden question, people will start to hear you and they're going to want to keep listening to you.
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So here's the first question that instantly helps you build trust Ask.
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"Can I make sure I understand what you're saying?" So simple, right?
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I'm going to say it again so you can really feel the weight of this.
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Ask the question.
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Can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
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But it doesn't end there.
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After you ask this question, you repeat what you heard in your own words.
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And here's why this is so effective.
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99 % of people don't do this.
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And it completely catches the other person off in the best way because they feel acknowledged.
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They feel seen and appreciated.
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And what does that do?
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They like you and they trust you.
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Now, if you're like me, you might wonder, well, this is so effective.
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Why don't more people do it?
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because most people
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when someone is talking to them they are already formulating their
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response in their own mind they're thinking about what they want to say they're reframing defending
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and problem solving in real time meaning they're not actually listening to the essence of what the other person is saying Now,
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I'll be honest with you.
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Early on in my career, I was terrible at this myself.
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I remember being in an editorial meeting as a journalist and whenever someone would push back on my idea,
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I would immediately jump to defend it because I thought that's what confidence looked like.
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You push back, you hold your ground, right?
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But what I noticed over time, was that the people in the room who had the most influence who everyone trusted, They did something differently.
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They paused.
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And they asked, Can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
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And then they briefly restated what they heard And they invited others into the conversation.
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In fact, research backs this up.
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A study out of Harvard Business School found
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that people who ask reflective questions and mirror back what they've heard are rated higher in trustworthiness and competence by their partners,
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not because they agreed, but because the other person felt understood.
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In psychology, When someone feels heard, their nervous system actually settles and their brain stops defending.
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And in that more open state, Trust becomes possible so the next time someone you're trying to build trust with speaks respond with
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Let me make sure I understand what you're saying.
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reflect it back to them.
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And watch what happens to the energy of the room.
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Because this one golden question is the power move that can get people to trust you
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instantly but not just that the trickle effect is
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that you are now seen as someone incredibly likable furthering your influence because now you know how to engage others
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Because we're on this topic of building trust, I actually want to share two more powerful questions you can ask to build trust at work.
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Here's the second one.
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Ask a question that shows your thinking about other people and their needs.
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This one is especially powerful in high stakes moments.
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When you want to pitch an idea, when you want someone's buy -in, when you need a decision maker to trust your recommendation, the question you would ask is,
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Well, how can I make your job easier?
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Let me tell you a story.
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A few years back when I first started my communications training company,
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Soulcast Media, I was preparing to facilitate this large corporate workshop and I had spent weeks on my research.
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My data was airtight.
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My slides were beautiful and polished and I walked in feeling like this workshop was going to be so amazing.
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Well, guess what?
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It didn't land.
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The room wasn't really engaged.
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The questions were like kind of skeptical and I left feeling kind of confused.
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A few days later, a mentor of mine, after I was kind of debriefing her on what happened, she asked me a question that I would never forget.
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And she said, hey, Jess, before you walked into that workshop, I.
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Did you know what they actually needed from you?
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Did you present information that could actually make their job easier?
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Wow.
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The entire time, I was so focused on what I wanted to say, teaching the tips I knew,
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that I never asked, What do they really need to hear?
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I get why this is such a common trap and why we might miss this.
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We often prepare around our own agenda instead of what other people need from us.
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And the problem is this can feel one -sided and sometimes even transactional.
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And I will tell you that doesn't really build trust.
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So how do you use this question to actually build trust at work?
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Well, there's actually two ways you can do it.
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Number one.
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ask it explicitly.
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Like you're talking to your client, your boss, and you can actually say, How can I make your job easier?
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or you can use it the second way, which is to answer that question yourself as you're preparing for your next meeting.
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Right before you walk into a presentation, you ask yourself, "Okay, how can I make people's job easier in this meeting?"
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There's so much research to actually back this up.
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It's called.
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perspective taking.
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Studies in organizational psychology show that people who demonstrate Genuine interest in the other person's goals,
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not just their own, are rated as more trustworthy.
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more collaborative, and more effective.
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Researchers also found that people are more open to persuasion when they believe the other person has already considered their perspective.
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So really asking.
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"How can I make your job easier?" is one of the simplest
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most direct ways to get people to trust you in any situation.
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And here's a third question.
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And this is one of the most effective ways to build trust.
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Ask a question that invites honesty.
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A question might sound like this.
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Is there anything that I might be missing?
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Here's why most people don't use this and why they struggle to build trust.
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Most of us, especially in a professional setting, We're trained to project certainty.
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We have to look like we have the answers.
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We walk in confident and we walk out decisive.
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And yes, confidence matters.
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But there's a version of confidence that can actually destroy trust.
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And it's a version where we cannot admit that we don't have the answer.
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And it's like we have to fake it until we make it, which, by the way, It doesn't work because people can see through it.
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You know, I remember I once interviewed an executive on my leadership podcast called Leading by Example, and this person runs a multi -billion dollar organization.
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And I asked her, what was one thing that she wishes she learned earlier on as a leader?
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And she said, I wish I had learned to ask better questions, especially the uncomfortable ones.
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the ones that give people permission to be honest with me.
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Yeah that reinforced everything for me because that's how you build trust with people you ask better questions and this one
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is there anything i'm missing here is one of the best ways to get people to open up to you.
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And here's the thing.
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When you ask someone to be honest with you, not just fake honest, you're doing something most people never do.
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you're making it safe for them you're showing the human side of yourself and i'm gonna tell you right now
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People connect to people, not the bravado we feel like we need to showcase and that we have all the answers because.
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Being honest is how you build trust.
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By the way, amy edmonston is a researcher at harvard business school
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and she has studied why certain teens perform better than others
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and it's all about making people feel safe and that safety starts with someone being willing to model vulnerability first.
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I'm not saying you tell people, oh, I feel scared, I feel nervous.
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It's more...
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Is there anything that I might be missing?
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Is there anything else on your mind?
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Questions like that signals honesty and it signals openness.
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So let's bring this all together.
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Three questions.
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Three ways to build trust.
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Number one, can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
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Because people trust the people who make them feel heard.
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Number two, How can I make your job easier?
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Because people trust the people who show up thinking about them.
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Number three, Is there anything I might be missing?
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because people trust the people who are brave enough to invite honesty
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And here's what I want you to notice about all three of these questions.
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None of them are about being loud, impressive, aggressive, or even extroverted.
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None of them are about saying the smartest thing.
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They're really about making the other person feel safe.
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And that is a center of building trust it's safety
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and it's feeling like you care it's not just a leadership
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trait this is actually how you can get noticed for all the right reasons If this video was helpful,
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share this video with someone who you think needs to hear it.
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And if you want to go deeper on the communication tips, comment the word smart below,
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and I will DM you a link to book notes from my bestselling book, Smart Not Loud, How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons.
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And of course, don't forget to like and subscribe so that you can get notified each time a brand new video drops.
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I look forward to seeing you in our next video.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “Ask This Question To Instantly Gain Trust”. This video has 156 sentences and 1864 words to shadow. The speech runs for 12:14. The speaker talks at a natural 152 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| honesty noun | /ˈɑ.nɪ.sti/ | The act, quality, or condition of being honest. |
| workshop noun | /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/ | A room, especially one which is not particularly large, used for manufacturing or other light industrial work. |
| researcher noun | /ˈɹiˌsɝ.t͡ʃɚ/ | One who researches. |
| rat noun | /ɹæt/ | Any of the numerous members of several rodent families that usually have short limbs, a pointy snout, a long, hairless tail, and a body length greater than… |
| airtight adjective | Impermeable to air or other gases. | |
| bravado noun | /bɹɑˈvɑdoʊ/ | A swaggering show of defiance or courage. |
| debrief verb | /diːˈbɹiːf/ | To question someone after a military mission in order to obtain information (especially intelligence). |
| extroverted adjective | /ˈɛkstɹəˌvəɹtɪd/ | Turned or thrust outwards, especially |
| formulate verb | /ˈfɔː(ɹ)mjʊleɪt/ | To put into a clear and definite form of statement or expression. |
| hardworking adjective | /ˈhɑːɹdˌwɜːɹ.kɪŋ/ | Of a person, taking their work seriously and doing it well and rapidly. |
| inauthentic adjective | /ˌɪnɔˈθɛn.tɪk/ | Not authentic or genuine; spurious. |
| likable adjective | /ˈlaɪkəbl̩/ | Of a person, having qualities tending to result in being liked; friendly, personable. |
| openness noun | Accommodating attitude or opinion, as in receptivity to new ideas, behaviors, cultures, peoples, environments, experiences, etc., different from the familiar… | |
| persuasion noun | /pɚˈsweɪʒən/ | The act of persuading, or trying to do so; the addressing of arguments to someone with the intention of changing their mind or convincing them of a certain… |
| reframe verb | To mount in a frame again. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
| look forward to verb | To anticipate, expect, or wait for, especially with a feeling of approval or pleasure; to be excited or eager to. |
| pass over verb | To bypass or disregard in favour of someone or something else. |
| see through verb | To perceive visually through something transparent. |
| show up verb | To appear, arrive, or attend, especially suddenly or erratically. |
| walk out verb | To stage a walkout or strike. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
- Did you know what they actually needed from you?
- Is there anything that I might be missing?
- Is there anything else on your mind?
- Number one, can I make sure I understand what you're saying?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've spent · have figured · have discovered |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | people who ask · way, which is · people who demonstrate |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are rated · are now seen |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 43 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: inauthentic /ˌɪnɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, trustworthiness /ˈtɹʌst.wɜɹ.ði.nɛs/, trustworthy /ˈtɹʌst.wɜː.ði/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: workshop /ˈwɝk.ʃɑp/, persuasion /pɚˈsweɪʒən/, shatter /ˈʃætɚ/, transactional /trænˈzækʃ(ə)nəl/, organizational /ˌɔː(ɹ)ɡənɪˈzeɪʃənəl/
- Long words — get the stress right: extroverted /ˈɛkstɹəˌvəɹtɪd/, inauthentic /ˌɪnɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, transactional /trænˈzækʃ(ə)nəl/, trustworthiness /ˈtɹʌst.wɜɹ.ði.nɛs/, underestimate /ʌndɚˈɛs.tɪ.meɪt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like honesty, workshop, researcher.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.