쉐도잉 연습: The Science Behind An "Attractive Personality" - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
레슨 만드는 중...
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Studies show that an attractive personality usually correlates with how good you look.
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But you can make your personality attractive, even as an average guy.
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To find out how, I followed the what, how, and why problem-solving framework.
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Number 1.
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What makes an attractive personality?
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Apparently that's the same question David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist, asked himself 22 years ago.
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So he gathered 10,000 people from 37 cultures and asked them, What are the most desirable traits in a partner?
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These were the answers.
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But then something clicked into my mind.
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From Machiavelli saying that a good leader must be both feared and loved, all the way to modern science,
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it was historically proven that competence and warmth are the universal signs of an attractive personality.
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So if we go back to our study, we can see that these traits show competence, while these traits show warmth.
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But showing competence is a tricky thing.
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In 2011, two researchers took 100 women and showed them two descriptions of the same person.
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Which do you think was perceived as more attractive?
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It's this one.
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It was rated more attractive because it showed prestige without brutal dominance.
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You see, dominance is correlated with anti-social behavior.
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Along the way, you upset people and make enemies.
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Prestige feels like you earned that status through hard work and diplomacy.
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But what about warmth?
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Well in 2020, it was proven that kindness is the most wanted quality in a romantic partner.
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Which makes sense because more kindness equals less long term fights.
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Yet a personality is not just about how competent and warm you are, it's also influenced by other stuff like your everyday occupation,
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hobbies, and personal values.
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I found studies for all of them.
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Apparently, the most attractive careers include firefighters, military personnel, and legal attorneys.
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On the other hand, the less attractive jobs are labor and hospitality.
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Apparently, even less attractive than being unemployed.
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But now let's talk about hobbies.
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In a huge survey made by Date Psychology, it was proven that these are the most attractive hobbies rated by women,
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while these are the most unattractive ones.
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Number 2.
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How do you make your personality attractive?
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The first way is to rephrase your own identity.
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What do you think is this guy's name?
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Well, 40% of people will choose Dan, which is his actual name.
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According to the Dorian Gray effect, when you hear a name, you'll automatically visualize a face and a set of traits.
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And when you meet a person with that name, you'll treat them according to your stereotype.
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But what's even crazier is that over time,
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it's likely that the person will change their personality and appearance based on how you and others treat them.
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Dan is a name for a simple average man.
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Others will treat him as such, so he will start to act as a simple, average man.
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Now you can't change your name, but you can change the other aspects, like the description of your job, to ensure you won't fit the negative stereotypes.
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Instead of saying that you're a fitness trainer, which can be associated with being dumb, shallow, and narcissistic, you can say something like,
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I help people become stronger and more confident in their bodies.
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Boom!
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You're associated with discipline, empathy, and leadership qualities.
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Instead of, I'm a video editor, which can be related to being nerdy and antisocial, you can say, I explain difficult topics using movie scenes and memes.
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Now, if you don't have a job or any hobby that you can rephrase, you can still become interesting.
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What are the three first things that come into your head when you see Cristiano Ronaldo.
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Soccer player, charismatic, and hardworking.
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What about Elon Musk?
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Likes rockets, richest person in the world, and very controversial.
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Almost any interesting personality can be described using two to three iconic traits.
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So yours can be the same.
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How?
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Choose a unique niche, master it, and bring it naturally into the conversation.
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If you master chess, everyone will know you as the chess guy.
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But don't brag about your knowledge using complicated terms and words.
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Teach others using lots of analogies.
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Here's an example from my favorite paragraph of all time by Robert Kersen.
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But the simplest way to improve is to just become more confident.
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In 2020, a bunch of researchers took some men, showed them two videos on how to be more confident, and then threw them into speed dates.
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Now those videos contained advice on how to get the other person to talk more, how to keep the conversation going, how to move towards personal subjects, how to make the conversation funnier,
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and a strange technique called screen and qualify.
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You casually mention a quality you value in others, which then encourages the other person to indicate that they have it.
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Then, you express that you like their response.
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Now, the men who watched the videos were seen as more confident and more romantically desirable than men who didn't.
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Number 3.
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Why should you have an attractive personality to be more likable, right?
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Not really.
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You see, history remembers John Newton as a minister, slavery abolitionist, and the man who wrote Amazing Grace.
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Yet that's far from where he started.
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In his youth, John was trapped in the life of a drunk, miserable slave trader.
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So his entire Their personality reflected that.
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His big mouth and complete lack of refinement made him
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so insufferable that his crew even left him stranded on a desert island.
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And mind you, he was the captain.
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But then something, or better said, someone changed him.
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Mary Catlett, a clever, pure-hearted girl and the love of his life.
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He knew that her parents would never let her marry a man like him.
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So he began to study Latin and mathematics to prove he had the discipline of a gentleman.
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He left the slave trading business and became a soft-spoken cleric, then a refined minister, and then one of the most important slave abolitionist figures.
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He changed who he was, and that changed his entire life.
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And yes, Mary became his wife.
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After a life of accomplishments, the two of them retired and spent their last peaceful years in a rural town named Olney.
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Now, some of you might say this type of love is long gone in our times, but is it though?
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Well, you can only know for sure if you understand the science behind modern relationships.
맥락 및 배경
매력적인 인격에 대한 과학적 연구는 사람들의 외모와 그들의 성격이 어떤 관계가 있는지를 탐구합니다. 진화심리학자인 데이비드 버스는 다양한 문화에서 10,000명의 참여자를 모집하여 이상적인 파트너의 특성을 조사했습니다. 연구 결과, 매력적인 인격은 주로 유능함과 따뜻함에서 비롯된다는 것이 밝혀졌습니다. 이는 현대 과학과 역사적으로 증명된 사실입니다. 이러한 아이디어는 영어 쉐도잉을 통해 만나는 다양한 커뮤니케이션 상황에서도 중요한 요소가 됩니다.
일상 커뮤니케이션을 위한 상위 5개 구문
- 자신의 정체성을 다시 표현하기: “나는 사람들이 더 강하고 자신 있게 돼도록 도와줘.”
- 전문성을 강조하기: “나는 복잡한 주제를 영화 장면과 밈을 사용해서 설명해.”
- 친절함의 중요성: “친절함은 장기적인 갈등을 줄여.”
- 업종과 직업에 따른 매력: “나는 소방관과 군인 같은 매력적인 직업을 가진 사람들을 존경해.”
- 취미의 매력: “여성들이 매력적으로 여기는 취미를 찾아봐.”
단계별 쉐도잉 가이드
이 비디오의 내용을 효과적으로 학습하기 위해서는 영어 쉐도잉을 활용한 연습이 매우 유익합니다. 다음은 단계별로 영어 쉐도잉을 수행하는 방법입니다:
- 비디오 시청: 먼저 비디오를 전체적으로 시청하여 내용의 흐름을 이해합니다.
- 구문 반복: 주요 구문을 선정하고 짧은 구문부터 천천히 따라 해보세요. 특히, “나는 사람들을 도와준다” 같은 구문이 유용합니다.
- 신뢰할 수 있는 쉐도잉 사이트 활용: 여러 온라인 shadowing site를 활용하여 다양한 소스를 제공받고, 이를 통해 자신만의 발음을 연습합니다.
- 녹음: 자신의 목소리를 녹음한 후 원본 비디오와 비교하여 발음의 차이를 분석해 보세요.
- 반복 연습: 이 과정을 반복하며, 점차 빠르게 따라 할 수 있도록 연습합니다. shadowspeaks를 활용하여 더 많은 학습 자료를 확보할 수 있습니다.
이러한 방법론을 따르면서 지속적인 연습을 통해 IELTS 스피킹 뿐만 아니라 다양한 상황에서의 영어 커뮤니케이션 능력을 향상시킬 수 있습니다.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.