Shadowing Practice: The Science Behind An "Attractive Personality" - Learn English Speaking with Video
Ders oluşturuluyor...
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Studies show that an attractive personality usually correlates with how good you look.
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But you can make your personality attractive, even as an average guy.
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To find out how, I followed the what, how, and why problem-solving framework.
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Number 1.
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What makes an attractive personality?
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Apparently that's the same question David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist, asked himself 22 years ago.
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So he gathered 10,000 people from 37 cultures and asked them, What are the most desirable traits in a partner?
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These were the answers.
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But then something clicked into my mind.
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From Machiavelli saying that a good leader must be both feared and loved, all the way to modern science,
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it was historically proven that competence and warmth are the universal signs of an attractive personality.
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So if we go back to our study, we can see that these traits show competence, while these traits show warmth.
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But showing competence is a tricky thing.
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In 2011, two researchers took 100 women and showed them two descriptions of the same person.
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Which do you think was perceived as more attractive?
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It's this one.
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It was rated more attractive because it showed prestige without brutal dominance.
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You see, dominance is correlated with anti-social behavior.
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Along the way, you upset people and make enemies.
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Prestige feels like you earned that status through hard work and diplomacy.
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But what about warmth?
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Well in 2020, it was proven that kindness is the most wanted quality in a romantic partner.
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Which makes sense because more kindness equals less long term fights.
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Yet a personality is not just about how competent and warm you are, it's also influenced by other stuff like your everyday occupation,
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hobbies, and personal values.
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I found studies for all of them.
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Apparently, the most attractive careers include firefighters, military personnel, and legal attorneys.
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On the other hand, the less attractive jobs are labor and hospitality.
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Apparently, even less attractive than being unemployed.
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But now let's talk about hobbies.
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In a huge survey made by Date Psychology, it was proven that these are the most attractive hobbies rated by women,
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while these are the most unattractive ones.
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Number 2.
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How do you make your personality attractive?
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The first way is to rephrase your own identity.
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What do you think is this guy's name?
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Well, 40% of people will choose Dan, which is his actual name.
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According to the Dorian Gray effect, when you hear a name, you'll automatically visualize a face and a set of traits.
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And when you meet a person with that name, you'll treat them according to your stereotype.
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But what's even crazier is that over time,
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it's likely that the person will change their personality and appearance based on how you and others treat them.
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Dan is a name for a simple average man.
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Others will treat him as such, so he will start to act as a simple, average man.
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Now you can't change your name, but you can change the other aspects, like the description of your job, to ensure you won't fit the negative stereotypes.
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Instead of saying that you're a fitness trainer, which can be associated with being dumb, shallow, and narcissistic, you can say something like,
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I help people become stronger and more confident in their bodies.
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Boom!
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You're associated with discipline, empathy, and leadership qualities.
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Instead of, I'm a video editor, which can be related to being nerdy and antisocial, you can say, I explain difficult topics using movie scenes and memes.
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Now, if you don't have a job or any hobby that you can rephrase, you can still become interesting.
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What are the three first things that come into your head when you see Cristiano Ronaldo.
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Soccer player, charismatic, and hardworking.
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What about Elon Musk?
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Likes rockets, richest person in the world, and very controversial.
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Almost any interesting personality can be described using two to three iconic traits.
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So yours can be the same.
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How?
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Choose a unique niche, master it, and bring it naturally into the conversation.
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If you master chess, everyone will know you as the chess guy.
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But don't brag about your knowledge using complicated terms and words.
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Teach others using lots of analogies.
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Here's an example from my favorite paragraph of all time by Robert Kersen.
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But the simplest way to improve is to just become more confident.
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In 2020, a bunch of researchers took some men, showed them two videos on how to be more confident, and then threw them into speed dates.
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Now those videos contained advice on how to get the other person to talk more, how to keep the conversation going, how to move towards personal subjects, how to make the conversation funnier,
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and a strange technique called screen and qualify.
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You casually mention a quality you value in others, which then encourages the other person to indicate that they have it.
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Then, you express that you like their response.
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Now, the men who watched the videos were seen as more confident and more romantically desirable than men who didn't.
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Number 3.
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Why should you have an attractive personality to be more likable, right?
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Not really.
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You see, history remembers John Newton as a minister, slavery abolitionist, and the man who wrote Amazing Grace.
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Yet that's far from where he started.
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In his youth, John was trapped in the life of a drunk, miserable slave trader.
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So his entire Their personality reflected that.
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His big mouth and complete lack of refinement made him
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so insufferable that his crew even left him stranded on a desert island.
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And mind you, he was the captain.
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But then something, or better said, someone changed him.
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Mary Catlett, a clever, pure-hearted girl and the love of his life.
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He knew that her parents would never let her marry a man like him.
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So he began to study Latin and mathematics to prove he had the discipline of a gentleman.
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He left the slave trading business and became a soft-spoken cleric, then a refined minister, and then one of the most important slave abolitionist figures.
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He changed who he was, and that changed his entire life.
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And yes, Mary became his wife.
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After a life of accomplishments, the two of them retired and spent their last peaceful years in a rural town named Olney.
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Now, some of you might say this type of love is long gone in our times, but is it though?
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Well, you can only know for sure if you understand the science behind modern relationships.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “The Science Behind An "Attractive Personality"” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: attractive, personality, traits, confident. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 89 cümle ve 1073 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 6:19 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 170 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %83’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| trait isim | /tɹeɪt/ | özellik, vasıf |
| hobby isim | /ˈhɑ.bi/ | hobi, merak |
| competence isim | /ˈkɑm.pə.təns/ | yetki, yetkinlik |
| warmth isim | /wɔɹmθ/ | sıcaklık, sıcaklıklar |
| stereotype isim | /ˈstɛ.ɹi.əˌtaɪp/ | basmakalıp söz, kalıplaşmış yargı |
| prestige isim | /pɹɛsˈtiːd͡ʒ/ | itibar, prestij |
| desirable sıfat | /dɪˈzaɪəɹəbəl/ | tatminkar |
| researcher isim | /ˈɹiˌsɝ.t͡ʃɚ/ | araştırmacı, araştırıcı |
| chess isim | /t͡ʃɛs/ | satranç |
| kindness isim | /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/ | incelik, kibarlık |
| rat isim | /ɹæt/ | sıçan, fare |
| charismatic sıfat | /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/ | karizmatik |
| firefighter isim | /ˈfaɪ.ɚˌfaɪ.tɚ/ | itfaiyeci, yangıncı |
| hardworking sıfat | /ˈhɑːɹdˌwɜːɹ.kɪŋ/ | çalışkan |
| refinement isim | /ɹəˈfaɪnmənt/ | arıtma, arıtım |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| find out fiil | anlamak, ortaya çıkarmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- Which do you think was perceived as more attractive?
- How do you make your personality attractive?
- What do you think is this guy's name?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | was perceived · was rated · is correlated |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | Dan, which is · trainer, which can · editor, which can |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, you'll, you're gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 10 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: warmth /wɔɹmθ/, empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: abolitionist /ˌæ.bəˈlɪʃ.n̩.ɪst/, antisocial /ˌæntiˈsəʊʃəl/, visualize /ˈvɪʒuəˌlaɪz/, casually /ˈkæʒuəli/, accomplishment /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: abolitionist /ˌæ.bəˈlɪʃ.n̩.ɪst/, stereotype /ˈstɛ.ɹi.əˌtaɪp/, desirable /dɪˈzaɪəɹəbəl/, antisocial /ˌæntiˈsəʊʃəl/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: warmth /wɔɹmθ/, hardworking /ˈhɑːɹdˌwɜːɹ.kɪŋ/, qualify /ˈkwɑ.lɪ.faɪ/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: trait /tɹeɪt/, stereotype /ˈstɛ.ɹi.əˌtaɪp/, prestige /pɹɛsˈtiːd͡ʒ/, cleric /ˈklɛɹɪk/, strand /ˈstɹænd/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: abolitionist /ˌæ.bəˈlɪʃ.n̩.ɪst/, rat /ɹæt/, antisocial /ˌæntiˈsəʊʃəl/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/, casually /ˈkæʒuəli/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; trait, hobby, competence gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.