Shadowing Practice: 5 Ways to Diffuse Your anger - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Hi, I'm Dr. Tracy Marks, and I make mental health education videos.
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Today, I'm talking about diffusing your anger before you lose control,
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and this is a follow -up of a video I did on looking at how you become angry based on your temperament.
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That video is linked in the corner and in the description.
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There's many ways that you can, or techniques you can use to manage your anger and rage,
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so this video will be part of a series on anger management.
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After this video, I'll have an affirmation video on processing anger.
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It's more of a meditation to help you process your emotions through affirming statements.
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If this isn't your style, then just click away.
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But focusing on affirming statements is one approach to processing anger.
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What you think and assume about your situation affects your response to it and your behavior.
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And we can hold tightly to negative assumptions that can distort how we interpret a given interaction.
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To better understand how to stop before you lose control, let's look at the cycle of anger.
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First, you have a triggering event, and this would be something like feeling disrespected or used or having someone cut you off in traffic.
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And then this is followed by negative thoughts, like I'm the weakest link on this team or that woman driver doesn't care about anyone but herself.
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These are automatic thoughts that pop into your mind right after the triggering event.
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Then you have an emotional response to your thought even if your thought isn't rational.
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You may feel shame or embarrassment for being the worst team member,
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or you feel rage toward the driver like you wish you could hurt her or that she would just crash her car.
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This is followed by physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweaty palms or even tense muscles and jaw clenching.
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Then you have the behavioral response of yelling, cursing, arguing, or even crying.
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So with this cycle, you have things going on in your head that lead to behaviors.
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And there's different places in this cycle that you can change to address your anger.
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Right now, I'm focused on the behavioral response.
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The first technique to diffuse your anger is to practice taking three deep breaths before you respond.
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And this gives you a chance to resist lashing out automatically.
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Many times the anger response is impulsive.
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And if you had been able to wait even just five seconds,
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you may have had the control to hold back on saying something hurtful that you can't take back.
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The second technique is to develop canned responses to controversial topics.
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If you're always around people who like getting into political discussions and their views are opposite of yours,
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you wanna already know what to say to shut down the conversation or make it clear that you have no comment.
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It could be as simple as, I don't discuss politics before 5 p .m or without a glass of wine in my hand.
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Whatever it is, make it something that fits your personality
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and help people get the message without it becoming the focus of another discussion.
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For example, you don't want to say something like, only idiots discuss politics.
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That's just going to turn into a different kind of argument.
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You're not trying to insult people.
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You're just trying to politely and respectfully pass on that conversation.
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Prepare a couple of statements that you can use for any topic
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or situation that you know triggers you
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if someone repeatedly tries to engage you in a conversation or activity
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that you're avoiding use the broken record technique where you give the same response in the same tone of voice
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you don't need to craft another response just to make sure
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they get it this time saying the same thing in the same tone sends a stronger message
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that you meant what you said another thing you can do is develop statements
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that de -escalate the situation before you get too angry
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And these would be statements like, I need to take a break, or I need a timeout.
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Can we talk about this later?
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Or the classic, maybe we can agree to disagree on this.
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These are canned statements similar to the no comment statements, but the purpose of these statements is to stop a conflict that you've already participated in,
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but you recognize it's getting too heated for you and you're about to blow.
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And this is where it's helpful to know what your physical symptoms are
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when you start to get angry or rageful and this is step four in the cycle of anger.
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Do you start sweating?
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Does your chest get warm?
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Knowing this about yourself can help you recognize when you're going down the path to rage and when to use this technique.
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The fourth technique is to stop and observe your anger.
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Imagine it as if you're another person in the room looking at you.
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What do you look like?
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Do you appear intensely angry because you're throwing things, or do you just seem snippy and hot -headed?
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Are you talking loudly or brooding in your head?
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By disengaging from your anger and actually observing it in a mindful way, you take the energy out of it,
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and this gives you time to avoid lashing out.
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The last thing you can do is use diversions.
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Let's say you remove yourself from the situation by using the
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third technique of shutting things down with an I need a timeout statement.
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Then do something to distract yourself like listening to music or taking a brief walk or even coloring.
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Coloring complex drawings is a popular stress reduction technique
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and you can buy a coloring book or there's free coloring templates available online at justcolor .net or freemandalas .net.
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Next time, I plan to address the negative automatic thoughts in the cycle of anger.
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Stay tuned.
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See you next time.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles is gebaseerd op de video “5 Ways to Diffuse Your anger”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: anger, statement, technique, response, cycle. Deze video bevat 73 zinnen en 991 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 6:09. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 161 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 84% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| anger zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈæŋɡə/ | boosheid, woede |
| technique zelfstandig naamwoord | /tɛkˈniːk/ | techniek |
| trigger zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/ | trekker |
| rage zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɹeɪd͡ʒ/ | furie, razernij |
| tone zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈtəʊn/ | toon, noot |
| topic zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | onderwerp, thema |
| automatic bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˌɔː.təˈmæt.ɪk/ | automatisch |
| observe werkwoord | /əbˈzɜːv/ | respecteren, in acht nemen |
| symptom zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈsɪm(p)təm/ | symptoom |
| argue werkwoord | /ˈɑɹ.ɡju/ | redetwisten |
| muscle zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈmʌs.əl/ | spier |
| helpful bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ | behulpzaam |
| participate werkwoord | /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/ | meedoen, deelnemen |
| craft zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈkɹæft/ | gewiekstheid |
| interaction zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/ | wisselwerking, interactie |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| go down werkwoord | afdalen |
| shut down werkwoord | afsluiten, uitzetten |
Zinnen om te herhalen
Korte, volledige zinnen uit de video die je in alledaagse gesprekken kunt gebruiken:
- If this isn't your style, then just click away.
- Can we talk about this later?
- Does your chest get warm?
- What do you look like?
- Are you talking loudly or brooding in your head?
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 22 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals you're, I'm, don't. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: reduction /ɹɪˈdʌk.ʃən/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, controversial /ˌkɑn.tɹəˈvɝ.ʃəl/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: automatic /ˌɔː.təˈmæt.ɪk/, behavioral /bɪˈheɪvjəɹəl/, participate /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, controversial /ˌkɑn.tɹəˈvɝ.ʃəl/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: rage /ɹeɪd͡ʒ/, observe /əbˈzɜːv/, engage /ɪnˈɡeɪd͡ʒ/, diffuse /dɪˈfjuz/, brood /bɹud/
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: anger /ˈæŋɡə/, automatic /ˌɔː.təˈmæt.ɪk/, craft /ˈkɹæft/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, rational /ˈɹæʃ(ə)nəl/
- /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: anger /ˈæŋɡə/, trigger /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/, argue /ˈɑɹ.ɡju/, engage /ɪnˈɡeɪd͡ʒ/, disagree /dɪsəˈɡɹi/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als anger, technique, trigger.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.