Shadowing Practice: 5 Ways to Diffuse Your anger - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Hi, I'm Dr. Tracy Marks, and I make mental health education videos.

Today, I'm talking about diffusing your anger before you lose control,

and this is a follow -up of a video I did on looking at how you become angry based on your temperament.

That video is linked in the corner and in the description.

There's many ways that you can, or techniques you can use to manage your anger and rage,

so this video will be part of a series on anger management.

After this video, I'll have an affirmation video on processing anger.

It's more of a meditation to help you process your emotions through affirming statements.

If this isn't your style, then just click away.

But focusing on affirming statements is one approach to processing anger.

What you think and assume about your situation affects your response to it and your behavior.

And we can hold tightly to negative assumptions that can distort how we interpret a given interaction.

To better understand how to stop before you lose control, let's look at the cycle of anger.

First, you have a triggering event, and this would be something like feeling disrespected or used or having someone cut you off in traffic.

And then this is followed by negative thoughts, like I'm the weakest link on this team or that woman driver doesn't care about anyone but herself.

These are automatic thoughts that pop into your mind right after the triggering event.

Then you have an emotional response to your thought even if your thought isn't rational.

You may feel shame or embarrassment for being the worst team member,

or you feel rage toward the driver like you wish you could hurt her or that she would just crash her car.

This is followed by physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweaty palms or even tense muscles and jaw clenching.

Then you have the behavioral response of yelling, cursing, arguing, or even crying.

So with this cycle, you have things going on in your head that lead to behaviors.

And there's different places in this cycle that you can change to address your anger.

Right now, I'm focused on the behavioral response.

The first technique to diffuse your anger is to practice taking three deep breaths before you respond.

And this gives you a chance to resist lashing out automatically.

Many times the anger response is impulsive.

And if you had been able to wait even just five seconds,

you may have had the control to hold back on saying something hurtful that you can't take back.

The second technique is to develop canned responses to controversial topics.

If you're always around people who like getting into political discussions and their views are opposite of yours,

you wanna already know what to say to shut down the conversation or make it clear that you have no comment.

It could be as simple as, I don't discuss politics before 5 p .m or without a glass of wine in my hand.

Whatever it is, make it something that fits your personality

and help people get the message without it becoming the focus of another discussion.

For example, you don't want to say something like, only idiots discuss politics.

That's just going to turn into a different kind of argument.

You're not trying to insult people.

You're just trying to politely and respectfully pass on that conversation.

Prepare a couple of statements that you can use for any topic

or situation that you know triggers you

if someone repeatedly tries to engage you in a conversation or activity

that you're avoiding use the broken record technique where you give the same response in the same tone of voice

you don't need to craft another response just to make sure

they get it this time saying the same thing in the same tone sends a stronger message

that you meant what you said another thing you can do is develop statements

that de -escalate the situation before you get too angry

And these would be statements like, I need to take a break, or I need a timeout.

Can we talk about this later?

Or the classic, maybe we can agree to disagree on this.

These are canned statements similar to the no comment statements, but the purpose of these statements is to stop a conflict that you've already participated in,

but you recognize it's getting too heated for you and you're about to blow.

And this is where it's helpful to know what your physical symptoms are

when you start to get angry or rageful and this is step four in the cycle of anger.

Do you start sweating?

Does your chest get warm?

Knowing this about yourself can help you recognize when you're going down the path to rage and when to use this technique.

The fourth technique is to stop and observe your anger.

Imagine it as if you're another person in the room looking at you.

What do you look like?

Do you appear intensely angry because you're throwing things, or do you just seem snippy and hot -headed?

Are you talking loudly or brooding in your head?

By disengaging from your anger and actually observing it in a mindful way, you take the energy out of it,

and this gives you time to avoid lashing out.

The last thing you can do is use diversions.

Let's say you remove yourself from the situation by using the

third technique of shutting things down with an I need a timeout statement.

Then do something to distract yourself like listening to music or taking a brief walk or even coloring.

Coloring complex drawings is a popular stress reduction technique

and you can buy a coloring book or there's free coloring templates available online at justcolor .net or freemandalas .net.

Next time, I plan to address the negative automatic thoughts in the cycle of anger.

Stay tuned.

See you next time.

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “5 Ways to Diffuse Your anger”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: anger, statement, technique, response, cycle. This video has 73 sentences and 991 words to shadow. The speech runs for 6:09. The speaker talks at a natural 161 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 84% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
anger noun	/ˈæŋɡə/	A strong and unpleasant feeling of displeasure, hostility, or antagonism, usually combined with an urge to yell, curse, damage or destroy things, or harm…
technique noun	/tɛkˈniːk/	The practical aspects of a given art, occupation etc.; formal requirements.
trigger noun	/ˈtɹɪɡɚ/	A finger-operated lever used to fire a gun.
rage noun	/ɹeɪd͡ʒ/	Violent uncontrolled anger.
tone noun	/ˈtəʊn/	A specific pitch.
topic noun	/ˈtɑpɪk/	A subject; a theme; a category or general area of interest.
automatic adjective	/ˌɔː.təˈmæt.ɪk/	Capable of operating without external control or intervention.
observe verb	/əbˈzɜːv/	To notice or view, especially carefully or with attention to detail.
behavioral adjective	/bɪˈheɪvjəɹəl/	Of or relating to behavior.
symptom noun	/ˈsɪm(p)təm/	A perceived change in some function, sensation or appearance of a person that indicates a disease or disorder, such as fever, headache or rash; strictly, a…
argue verb	/ˈɑɹ.ɡju/	To show grounds for concluding (that); to indicate, imply.
muscle noun	/ˈmʌs.əl/	A contractile form of tissue which animals use to effect movement.
helpful adjective	/ˈhɛlp.fl̩/	Furnishing help; giving aid; useful.
participate verb	/pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/	To join in, to take part, to involve oneself (in something).
reduction noun	/ɹɪˈdʌk.ʃən/	The act, process, or result of reducing.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
go down verb	To descend; to move from a higher place to a lower one.
hold back on verb	To wait for a period of time before proceeding.
shut down verb	To close, terminate, or end; to stop operating, either permanently or temporarily.
take back verb	To retract or withdraw (an earlier statement).

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

If this isn't your style, then just click away.
Can we talk about this later?
Does your chest get warm?
What do you look like?
Are you talking loudly or brooding in your head?

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 22 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “sh” and “zh” sounds: reduction /ɹɪˈdʌk.ʃən/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, controversial /ˌkɑn.tɹəˈvɝ.ʃəl/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/
Long words — get the stress right: automatic /ˌɔː.təˈmæt.ɪk/, behavioral /bɪˈheɪvjəɹəl/, participate /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, controversial /ˌkɑn.tɹəˈvɝ.ʃəl/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like anger, technique, trigger.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: 5 Ways to Diffuse Your anger - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?