Shadowing Practice: Stop Saying “You’re Wrong” at Work! Say This Instead | B1-C1 - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Tom, you walked in with a face like a storm cloud.
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What on earth happened?
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I told a co -worker his whole plan was a mistake.
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Out loud, in front of the entire team.
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You said that in the meeting?
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While everyone was sitting there?
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Word for word, the room went completely silent.
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You could hear the coffee machine in the hallway.
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Oh no. And then he just looked at me for the longest three seconds of my life.
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Okay, take a breath.
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Because today we are going to fix exactly this.
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Really?
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Hello and welcome back to Daily English Talk, the channel where you learn real English for real situations.
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I'm Lily.
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And I'm Tom, apparently fresh from ruining a meeting.
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You did not ruin it.
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You just gave us a perfect lesson.
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If you're new here, we post a new episode every single day.
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So hit that subscribe button and the little bell.
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Join the family.
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Every day, no days off, like a gym membership you actually use.
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Today's topic is one almost everyone deals with at work.
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How do you disagree with a co -worker without starting a small war?
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We call it diplomatic conflict management, and the English for it is gold.
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So you were saying there was a better way to handle my meeting.
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Oh, there were about nine better ways.
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But before we get into them, I have a question for everyone watching.
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Tom said something to his co -worker that made the whole room freeze for three seconds.
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What do you think he actually said?
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Keep that in your head as we go.
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I am NOT repeating it.
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He is NOT repeating it.
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So you will have to guess.
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Okay, Tom, walk me through it.
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What was the disagreement even about?
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So, we are launching a new customer survey next month.
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My co -worker wanted to send it to every single customer on the same day.
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I thought that was a terrible idea.
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Why terrible?
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Because our support team is tiny.
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If 10 ,000 people replied once, we drown.
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I wanted to send it in small groups over two weeks.
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That actually sounds smart.
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So your idea was good.
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The problem was how you said it.
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Right.
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He finished presenting, he looked proud of himself, and I just blurted out this blunt, cold sentence.
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The kind you can't take back.
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In front of your manager?
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In front of my manager, his manager, and a new intern who looked like she wanted to disappear.
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Poor intern.
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First week, front row seat to a disaster.
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She will remember me forever.
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Here's the thing though.
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Disagreeing is not the problem.
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Disagreeing is normal.
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Good teams argue all the time.
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The skill is doing it so the other person still wants to work with you afterward.
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See, nobody teaches you that.
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In school they teach you grammar, not how to tell your coworker his baby is ugly without him crying.
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Please never say it like that in a real office.
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No promises.
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So let's start with the grammar that makes disagreement sound polite instead of aggressive.
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This part challenges everything.
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In English, direct disagreement can sound very harsh.
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If you say you're wrong or that's a bad idea, native speakers hear it as almost rude, even if you are completely correct.
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Which is funny because I was correct.
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You were, and it did not help you at all.
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So we soften the message.
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There are two main tools.
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First, modal verbs.
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Could, would, might, may.
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Give me the before and after.
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Direct version.
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We can't send it all at once.
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Softer version.
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I'm not sure we could handle all of it at once.
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Same meaning, much gentler landing.
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The word could, does all that work?
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It really does.
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It turns a hard wall into an open door.
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The second tool is hedging.
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These are little phrases that lower the temperature.
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I think, maybe, it seems like, I could be wrong, but...
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Doesn't I could be wrong make me sound weak?
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No, it makes you sound confident and calm.
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Only people who feel secure can say I might be wrong.
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It invites the other person to think with you instead of fighting you.
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So, instead of your plan will fail, I say what?
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You say...
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I like the direction, but I'm a little worried about the timing.
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Could we maybe spread it out?
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Notice three moves there.
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You agree with something first, you use a soft word, a little worried, then you ask a question instead of giving an order.
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Agree, soften, ask.
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I can remember that.
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That is the whole grammar lesson in one line.
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Now let's give you the actual phrases, because these are the ones that save careers.
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Our first phrase is to clear the air.
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It means to have an honest conversation that removes tension or a misunderstanding between people.
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So after my meeting, the air definitely needed clearing.
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The air needed a professional cleaning crew.
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So what did you do the next morning?
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I actually did one good thing.
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I messaged him and said, Hey, can we grab a coffee?
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I think we should clear the air after yesterday.
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Tom, that is perfect.
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That is exactly the phrase.
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I surprised myself.
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And see how gentle it is?
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You are not saying, we need to talk, which sounds scary.
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Clear the air tells the other person, I want to fix this, not continue the fight.
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Can I use it with friends too, not just work?
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Absolutely.
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My sister and I hadn't spoken in a week, so we finally cleared the air works everywhere, anytime there is tension sitting between two people.
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Good, because I have a lot of air that needs clearing.
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Phrase 2, to see where someone is coming from.
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It means to understand their point of view, even if you don't fully agree with it.
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So at the coffee, he explained his side.
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He did, didn't he?
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He did.
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And honestly, once he talked, I got it.
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His manager had told him to launch fast because a competitor was about to release something similar.
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So, you finally understood the pressure he was under.
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I did.
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I told him, okay, I see where you're coming from.
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I didn't know about the competitor.
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And that one sentence probably melted half the ice right there.
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It did.
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His shoulders dropped.
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He relaxed.
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He felt heard.
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That is the magic of it.
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You can disagree with a decision and still respect the reason behind it.
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I see where you're coming from, but I still have a concern.
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You validate first, then you push back.
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It's almost like you let them win a little before you ask for anything.
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Exactly.
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People give you much more when they feel you actually listened.
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Phrase three is to meet in the middle.
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It That means to compromise.
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Both people give up a little to reach an agreement everyone can accept.
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This is where it got good.
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Once we both calmed down, we made a plan together.
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Tell me!
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We agreed to send the survey to half the customers on day one
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because of his competitor worry and the other half three days later because of my support team's worry.
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We met in the middle.
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That is a genuinely better plan than either of your original ideas.
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It's the annoying part.
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The fight was pointless.
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The answer was in the middle the whole time.
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That happens so often.
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You can also say, find common ground, or meet halfway.
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We couldn't agree on the budget, so we met halfway.
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Clean and professional.
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Is middle ground the same thing?
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Great question.
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Yes.
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We found some middle ground.
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Noun version, same idea.
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Keep that one in your pocket for emails.
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Phrase four is to take something the wrong way.
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It means to understand a comment as more negative or more offensive than the speaker intended.
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This is basically the story of my whole meeting.
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Explain.
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At the coffee, I told him, look, I'm sorry about yesterday.
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I think you took my comment the wrong way.
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But honestly, I said it the wrong way too.
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I owned my part.
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Oh, that is mature.
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You didn't just blame him for misunderstanding.
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You admitted your delivery was bad.
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Because it was.
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The idea was fine.
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The tone was a rock through a window.
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Beautiful image.
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So a softer way to raise this in the moment is, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd do it differently.
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You warn them it's coming from a good place.
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So, don't take this the wrong way is like a little seat belt before a bumpy sentence.
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A seat belt, yes!
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Perfect way to remember it.
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It prepares the listener so they stay open instead of getting defensive.
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Last phrase is to agree to disagree.
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You use this when two people simply cannot reach the same opinion, and you both accept that, politely, without hard feelings.
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But we did agree in the end.
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So where would I use this?
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Good point.
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You too found a solution.
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But imagine you hadn't.
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Imagine on one small detail, the color of the survey button, you just could not agree.
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A war over a button color.
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That feels very real, actually.
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It is painfully real.
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So you say, you know what, let's agree to disagree on the color and move on.
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It closes the topic with respect.
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Nobody loses.
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So it's a graceful exit when more arguing is just a waste of time.
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Exactly that.
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It protects the relationship.
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The friendship or the working partnership matters more than winning a tiny point.
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I wish I had known all five of these yesterday morning.
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Well, now you know them for every tomorrow, and so does everyone watching.
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Let's lock these in.
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Five phrases for handling a disagreement at work like a diplomat.
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Say them with me, everyone.
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Number one.
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Clear the air.
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Have an honest, calm conversation.
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Number two.
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See where someone is coming from.
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Understand their reason first.
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Number three.
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Meet in the middle.
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Compromise so you both get something.
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Number four.
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Take it the wrong way.
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Warn people before a touchy comment and own your tone.
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And number five?
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Agree to disagree.
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Walk away from the small stuff with respect.
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And don't forget the grammar underneath all of it.
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Soften.
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Ask.
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Use could, might, I think, maybe.
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Turn your orders into questions.
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A hard wall into an open door.
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You remembered!
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I'm proud of you.
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Now it's your turn.
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Tell us in the comments, what is a disagreement you had at work or at home, and how did you handle it?
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Would you handle it differently now?
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And try to use one of today's phrases in your comment.
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Show us you've got it.
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We read every single one.
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We really do.
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That is the best way to practice, so write it down and make it yours.
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That is our lesson for today.
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Remember, disagreeing is not rude.
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Disagreeing badly is.
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Now you have the English to do it the right way.
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Go clear some air out there, carefully.
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Carefully.
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If this helped you, give us a like and subscribe so you never miss a lesson.
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We are here every day with new English for your real life.
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Every day.
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Still, no days off.
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Thanks for learning with us.
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I'm Lily.
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And I'm Tom.
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See you in the next one.
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Bye everyone!
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Take care!
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles is gebaseerd op de video “Stop Saying “You’re Wrong” at Work! Say This Instead”. Deze video bevat 253 zinnen en 1907 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 12:29. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 153 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 86% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| phrase zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈfɹeɪ̯z/ | uitspraak |
| disagree werkwoord | /dɪsəˈɡɹi/ | niet overeenkomen, niet overeenstemmen |
| disagreement zelfstandig naamwoord | /dɪsəˈɡɹiːmənt/ | verschil van mening, meningsverschil |
| lesson zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | les |
| worker zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈwɝ.kɚ/ | arbeider, arbeidster |
| grammar zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈɡɹæm.ə(ɹ)/ | spraakkunst, grammatica |
| competitor zelfstandig naamwoord | /kəmˈpɛt.ɪ.tɚ/ | concurrent, concurent |
| tone zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈtəʊn/ | toon, noot |
| topic zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | onderwerp, thema |
| argue werkwoord | /ˈɑɹ.ɡju/ | redetwisten |
| carefully bijwoord | /ˈkɛɹf(ə)li/ | voorzichtig |
| belt zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈbɛlt/ | gordel, riem |
| ruin zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈɹuː.ɪn/ | ruïne, bouwval |
| rude bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ɹuːd/ | grof, onbeschoft |
| differently bijwoord | /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/ | verschillend, anders |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| calm down werkwoord | bedaren |
| give up werkwoord | zich overgeven |
Zinnen om te herhalen
Korte, volledige zinnen uit de video die je in alledaagse gesprekken kunt gebruiken:
- You said that in the meeting?
- What do you think he actually said?
- In front of your manager?
- Doesn't I could be wrong make me sound weak?
- Could we maybe spread it out?
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 27 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals I'm, don't, you're. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De “th”-klanken: breathe /bɹiːð/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: tension /ˈtɛnʃən/, partnership /ˈpɑɹtnɚʃɪp/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, harsh /ˈhɑɹʃ/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: disagreement /dɪsəˈɡɹiːmənt/, competitor /kəmˈpɛt.ɪ.tɚ/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, diplomatic /ˌdɪpləˈmætɪk/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: phrase /ˈfɹeɪ̯z/, rude /ɹuːd/, compromise /ˈkɑmpɹəˌmaɪz/, subscribe /səbˈskɹaɪb/, cloud /ˈklaʊ̯d/
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: grammar /ˈɡɹæm.ə(ɹ)/, halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/, badly /ˈbæd.li/, afterwards /ˈæf.tɚ.wɚdz/, relax /ɹɪˈlæks/
- /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: disagree /dɪsəˈɡɹi/, disagreement /dɪsəˈɡɹiːmənt/, grammar /ˈɡɹæm.ə(ɹ)/, argue /ˈɑɹ.ɡju/, ugly /ˈʌɡli/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als phrase, disagree, disagreement.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.