Shadowing Practice: How to Be a Better Person (Without Hating Yourself in the Process) - Learn English Speaking with Video

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The internet is filled with advice on how to be a better person.
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Wake up at 5am, drink more water, manifest your dream life.
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It's exhausting.
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It turns self -improvement into a side hustle you're failing at.
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But what if being a better person isn't about adding more to your to -do list?
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What if it's about changing the way you see the list in the first place?
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The first and most important shift is to let go of perfection.
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The goal is not to become a flawless, zen -like guru who never gets angry or eats junk food.
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That's a recipe for self -hatred.
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The real goal is about direction.
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Are you a little kinder today than you were yesterday?
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A little more patient?
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A little more curious?
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That's it.
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It's not about reaching a destination, it's about taking one small step in a better direction.
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every single day.
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Step 1: Practice curiosity, not judgment.
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Our brains are judgment machines.
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It's a shortcut that helps us make sense of the world.
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But it's also lazy.
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When you see someone do something you disagree with, your brain's default is to label them.
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Rude, inconsiderate.
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Wrong.
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Instead, try to get curious.
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Ask yourself, "I wonder what's going on in their life that led them to do that?" This doesn't excuse bad behavior,
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but it disconnects you from the immediate anger and connects you to empathy.
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It's the difference between being a judge and being a detective.
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Step 2: Listen to understand, not to reply.
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So often in conversations, we're not really listening.
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We're just waiting for our turn to talk.
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We're formulating our argument, our advice, our funny story, True listening is a gift.
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It means silencing your own inner monologue and making space for someone else's.
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It's about making them feel heard, not about making yourself feel clever.
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The next time you're in a conversation, try to summarize what the other person said before you share your own thoughts.
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It will change everything.
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Step 3.
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Learn to apologize properly.
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A bad apology is about you.
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I'm sorry if you were offended, or I'm sorry but you were.
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A real apology is about the other person.
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It has three parts.
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1. I'm sorry for the specific action.
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too.
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I understand that it made you feel their emotion.
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3. In the future, I will Specify your change.
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It's not about getting out of the doghouse.
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It's about acknowledging the impact you had on someone and showing them you respect them enough to do better.
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Step 4.
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Embrace the power of being wrong.
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We are taught that being wrong is a weakness But it's actually a superpower.
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It means you're teachable.
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It means you're growing.
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Every time you admit you were wrong, you're not losing.
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You're upgrading your entire understanding of the world.
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It's the ultimate sign of strength and confidence to be able to say, "You know what?
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I hadn't thought of it that way.
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You're right.
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And finally, do something good when no one is watching.
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Return the shopping cart.
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Pick up that piece of trash.
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Give a generous tip.
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These small, invisible acts of integrity are the building blocks of your character.
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They're not for social media.
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They're not for praise.
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They are quiet promises you make to yourself about the kind of person you want to be.
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And that's the foundation of everything.
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Being a better person isn't a project to be completed.
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It's a practice to be lived.
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You will fail.
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You will be judgmental.
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You will make mistakes.
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The goal isn't to be perfect.
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The goal is to be a little better tomorrow than you were today.
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And that starts not with a grand gesture, but with a single, quiet choice to be a little more curious,
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a little more compassionate, and a little more kind.
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to yourself and to everyone else.
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If you're on this journey of growth, you might find our video on "The Psychology of People -Pleasers" helpful.
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And for a practice in self -compassion, try our guided meditation for self -acceptance, part of our 10 -part series.
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You've got this.
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Also, you might notice today that the voice is not the usual Amanda Silvera.
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But if you enjoyed my voice, do give me some feedback.
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I'm a musician, and also one of the early team members of Psych2Go.
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You can even find some of my live videos on the channel from way back.
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My name is Ashley, and if you enjoyed this video, do let us know.
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We're also taking in song requests for the channel.
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Did you know Psych2Go has a music playlist sung by some of our talented voice artists and guest partners?

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Why practice speaking with this video?

Engaging with the content of "How to Be a Better Person (Without Hating Yourself in the Process)" provides a unique opportunity for English learners to develop their speaking skills through rich, empathetic dialogue. The video encourages viewers to shift their perspective on self-improvement from a daunting checklist to a manageable journey of small steps. By practicing speaking using this video, learners not only enhance their vocabulary but also gain insight into conversational strategies, such as active listening and offering genuine apologies. Adopting the shadowing technique can further amplify these benefits, as it mimics real-life interactions and allows learners to internalize the nuances of how to convey empathy and understanding.

Grammar & Expressions in Context

The video's dialogue contains several impactful structures that can help English learners improve their spoken expression:

  • “I wonder what’s going on in their life that led them to do that.” - This phrase demonstrates the use of indirect questions to foster curiosity rather than judgment. It encourages learners to form sentences that shift their tone from critical to inquisitive.
  • “It’s about making them feel heard.” - This sentence illustrates the importance of word order and emphasis. Notice how placing “them” and “heard” together highlights the focus on the listener's experience.
  • “I’m sorry for the specific action.” - This structure provides a template for effective apologies. English learners can practice constructing similar sentences to express accountability, helping them become more adept at nuanced conversation.
  • “We are taught that being wrong is a weakness.” - Here, the passive voice is used, which can help learners recognize its role in English. Understanding this allows students to describe experiences or actions where the doer is not the focus.

Common Pronunciation Traps

While shadowing this video, learners may encounter pronunciation challenges. Here are some common traps to be aware of:

  • “Empathy” - The 'th' sound can be tricky for non-native speakers. Practicing this word helps with clarity in conversation.
  • “Curiosity” - This multi-syllable word can lead to rapid speech issues. Stretching out the sounds breaks it into manageable parts for smoother delivery.
  • “Apologize” - Some learners might find it challenging to emphasize the correct syllables. Make sure to stress the second syllable: ap-OL-o-gize.

Utilizing a shadowspeak approach by repeating phrases or sentences can enhance fluency and help solidify these tricky pronunciations. Through consistent practice, learners will not only improve their articulation but also build confidence in expressing empathy and understanding in their conversations.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →