Shadowing Practice: Networking 101 from Harvard & Stanford MBA Grads - Learn English Speaking with Video

Have you ever walked into a room and been completely drawn into someone's personality?

They were like almost kind of magnetic and so charismatic

and you're like what do they have and how can I have some of that?

This episode we're going to discuss how to talk to anyone.

All right, let's dive in.

Let's do it.

Hi, I'm Jean.

And I'm Cherie.

And we're the Tiger Sisters.

Welcome to the season finale of Tiger Sisters.

Yay.

I can't believe it's been 10 episodes.

Yeah, it went by really fast.

Yeah, Yeah, we're probably really fast.

I am excited about the evolution of topics.

Yeah.

Discovered.

Yeah.

I think like some of the more recent episodes have been a lot more like fun and not just like informative.

And hopefully the audience is enjoying that.

Yeah.

I think we've covered a lot of like professional stuff in the beginning.

Yeah.

Mixed in some personal stuff.

And yeah, it's just been such an amazing season.

You've done really well.

Thank you.

I know.

Thank you my first season.

Your first season, first time podcasting.

Yeah.

And 10 kind of just like flew by.

Yeah.

And I feel like I'm also just getting more comfortable with like speaking on camera

and being more candid and just being more like vulnerable and honest.

I love that for you.

Thanks.

Okay.

So before we go any further, please like comment and subscribe if you haven't already.

we have such an amazing season two planned out and

if you haven't seen the season one episodes like they some of them I honestly will say are

so so good I'm so proud of them yeah and then also

Jean and I read every single comment yeah

that you guys leave on our YouTube videos and so

if you have any suggestions comments or questions leave them down below

and we'll respond to them

and maybe even bring them into our next mailbag in our next season

and episodes yes so speaking of mailbag mailbag okay

so the inspiration for this episode actually came from a mailbag

so jamie coleron said i would like to see the tiger sisters talk about how to talk to anyone

and how to be a better communicator for the next episode

you got it jamie you got it jamie got riard does anyone get

that reference yeah it's from full house yeah i don't know it i i dabbled you watched full house Yeah, I had the biggest crush on Uncle Jess.

Oh, my God.

Everyone did.

John Stamos.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm kidding.

It was like the definition of like 90s dreamy.

Oh, for sure.

Okay.

I think a good way to start out this topic is to focus first on like work

and career aspects of how to talk to anyone.

Yeah.

And then we can, you know, devolve.

And to whatever.

Our top is podcast my turn.

But let's start with like, what are some tips you have for talking to older people or more like senior people,

meaning like leaders in the company and like execs or maybe even people you feel intimidated by.

I feel like you're a really good person.

This is a big topic because you can talk to anyone.

And yeah, like I feel like it's one of your superpowers.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, I think I really struggled with this when I first graduated, because when you're like a 22 year old in the workplace and you're like,

oh my god so much of my self-worth is tied to what I say and how I present myself

yeah it was really nerve-wracking but I think just getting more repetitions in

and getting more practice in talking to people who are older

than you who have more like years of experience than you

and like getting those reps in really helps

but I think honestly it's a mindset shift for me where you're just like even

if I'm talking to someone who's like five levels above me or the CEO of a company, at the end of the day, they are just a person.

Yeah.

And like, if you can connect on a human to human level, like no sucking up, no like ass kissing.

It's like, how do you connect with another person

and genuinely be curious in them and what their story is and what they care about?

Then I feel like that's where it becomes less scary.

Well, on the topic of getting your reps in and like getting exposure, I feel like one the ways you did that was through your internships

and at morgan stanley i remember you interned there

when you were in college

and one of your specific assignments was to interview all these like vps

and other sort of leaders at the company for the project

that you were working on you're making like an internal directory of information

or something like that internal resource director exactly

and as part of my internship it was my like role

my job my project to talk to a bunch of morgan stanley technologists

and vice presidents in their very like specific domain

and a lot of it is just like asking questions being curious

and then also knowing

that you yourself have something to offer i think that's like

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a comment i see quite often on social media it's just

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like oh my god like you know i'm in high school i'm in college

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or like i'm a new grad like talking to these people who are much more experienced is kind of scary

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because like what do i have to offer well but so like when you were doing it, were you like, were you nervous or were you like, oh, it's just my assignment?

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Like I was told to do this.

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I was definitely nervous because I wanted to make a good impression.

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Like I didn't want to like sound like an idiot.

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But I think before even talking to the person doing like a lot of research.

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Okay.

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And like every conversation, it goes well because I'm prepared.

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Like I've done research on the person.

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I know what their purview is.

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And it's like i'm asking like you know level one questions

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that i can just google i'm asking level 10 questions

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that only this specific person in this specific domain would have the answer to yeah it's kind of funny

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because i feel like sheree's corner was like an evolution of

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like looking back on it now right like have you ever had

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that no i haven't that's what you do for sheree's corner

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so for sheree's corner sheree's other podcast

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that um is wrapping up its last season her other podcast was wrapping up its last season

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so she could focus fully on tiger sisters yeah she has

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interviewed some like true like titans of industry like people who are just like i don't know like single name

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people kind of oh yeah in a way for sure

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but you do a so much preparation yeah yeah

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and that's what I think people don't see is how much behind the scenes goes into these.

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I mean, the podcast, obviously, but then also just having like one on one coffee chats with people, like never ever go into a coffee chat like cold.

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Bare minimum is spending five minutes on their LinkedIn profile to know more about them.

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And that's like the bare minimum, I would say, especially if you're the person who is asking for the coffee chat

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and um you know in the like power differential is asking

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for help yeah i feel like that's a very good practical

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tip yeah i think one of the most powerful ways to

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talk to anybody is to identify what your shared interests are

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or like even better like over time like cultivate some sort of like shared interests

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and shared experience yes together yeah like i feel like you have like

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so much to say about that

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when i was in school one of the big things

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that i did and i would suggest

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that other people do as well is like join clubs

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or get involved in groups where you can like find a

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common interest for example in the last few months of my

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time at stanford i helped organize co-organize the stanford women's golf clinic

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and it was just you know a few of us ladies where we got together

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and we created a three-week series to bring other

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stanford women in business to go learn golf together and we got

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so much feedback from these ladies

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that they were like this was amazing i've never played golf before it's

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so safe it was just like a good environment

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and then also like for example we had like a mini creator club at stanford

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and it was just like common interest

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and it's not just at school too it's at work right

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and a lot of companies there are different sort of affinity groups

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that you can join and even outside of

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that like some of the things that i've done is remember like i've created this with my friends like this

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annual retreat with my hbs girlfriends where we get together every year in newport it's about like 20 of us

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and we basically like have this weekend of like learning

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and growing together like reconnecting

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and bonding yeah it's like creating you can like you can

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actively create these experiences where you can like bond with people yeah

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and like get to know them better well i think it

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also starts from like a shared understanding too like we all have a common something

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and then from there you create the shared experiences where you dive in even deeper

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and one way we were able to do this at stanford gsb

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that i absolutely loved was going on trips together big proponent

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of traveling together to experience things in a new way and speaking of trips you may have seen

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that sherry and i recently announced our trova trip to japan together

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which we kind of put together

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because we wanted to create this opportunity to bond with

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and build community with all of you guys

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so you can find more information in the description in this video

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but basically it's going to be jean

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and i as the hosts of this trip

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but we will definitely have someone on the ground in japan leading us

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and guiding us through all the different points we'll be in tokyo

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and then also near Mount Fuji

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and we'll have up to 15 people join us on this trip

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and yeah wait to spend time with you guys I'm

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so excited because I've never been to Japan before somehow

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but Shiree has been and she's like a total I feel like expert on Japan now

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because you've spent so much Japan on fire yeah and

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so I'm like super excited to like get to know Japan

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and like experience it and also like have like her expertise

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and her personal experiences to guide us as well um

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and i just think it's gonna be a totally magical experience

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and i can't wait to meet you guys

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and to like get to actually spend time together face to face as opposed to just like messaging

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and like you know dming and like responding to comments yeah

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so excited for this

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and check out the link in the description for more details speaking of exposure therapy i feel like another way

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that we had exposure therapy was just kind of the environment

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and neighborhood that we were in growing up so sheree

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and i grew up on long island well actually i grew up in brooklyn

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and then i moved to long island in the middle of fourth grade i was born in brooklyn yeah

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and then sheree lived when she was like i don't know three or four years old or something really young

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But we grew up in what was essentially like a very white and affluent community.

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And so I feel like,

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yes, there were many, many times where I never felt fully comfortable because I was like one of one Asian people,

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like in my, not just in my friend group, but like in my entire grade, maybe one of two actually.

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But, and I always felt like I was very like defined by my ethnicity.

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but the like flip side of that is

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that I feel like I had to learn how to become

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very comfortable with people who were different from me yeah um

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yeah I have like I have girlfriends who have told me who have grown up in California

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and they've like grown up with mostly Asian people

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and they're like yeah I just don't feel I like to

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this day I still just I just don't feel like fully fully comfortable talking to white people like

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or as comfortable as I feel talking to Asian people

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so that's something I feel like never really gets like talked about totally um I mean there's

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so much to dig in there uh perhaps with a therapist for us

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but like I I loved I have other higher priority I

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know we have other things to talk about in therapy

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but underneath the surface that is one thing

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but yeah I mean it there's both pros and cons like Jean and I grew up in a nice neighborhood

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even though we didn't come from that world we were very much like exposed to that world and exposed to

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um I know the letter like behave yeah

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that world as a crystal shows the ways of speaking the expectations some people would see

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that as a jerk though for like oh you need a code switch

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I mean you know me I'm like the world is the

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world right are you going to exist in the world today

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and how can you change the world

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if you're not going to like be a part of it yeah and

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if you're not going to make yourself into a person of

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influence in the world today in order to affect change that's my perspective I agree with

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that but I also see the other side as well

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but I guess all of

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that to say like it was a really good experience to be exposed to that

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so then we can kind of yes like looking back like

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at the time like did i enjoy being like feeling alone

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and being bullied when i was growing up like no

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but now yeah but now now i like see the value of having

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been put into that situation so maybe one takeaway out of all this is

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that that wasn't something that we like opted into

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but it is something

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that you can opt into like basically you can choose to put yourself into situations

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that are outside of your comfort zone yeah in order to kind of like learn more about different cultures yeah

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and and honestly it just goes back to like how to talk to anyone like i think

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that is a strength if you're able to relate to many different types of people especially

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if it's outside of the environment that you're comfortable with um

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and i think it'll be good professionally it'll it'll be good personally it'll widen your world view

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and i think like yeah like talking to some

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and this very this specific story is like some of our

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asian girlfriends are not comfortable with it like you can stay in the comfortable spot

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or you can like lean into the discomfort

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and like grow in different ways and i i would argue it would help your career to do so

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yeah and one specific example i have of this is

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or like one

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or like one specific method you can do at work is

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you can seek out sort of like opportunities to interact with different people especially senior people

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if you feel nervous about connecting with

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or you don't know how to talk to them seek out opportunities to interact with them

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that are outside of your typical like meetings

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or like super like straightforward interactions where you're like presenting to them

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or like you know not the like cut and dry work interactions

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so like what's an example um when i worked at goldman one of the things

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that my group did every year i don't know why

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but one of the things

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that we did was we put together this like a holiday music video

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and it would still have access to it no

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but it honestly was so freaking good it was like i was like

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so proud of it we and we like made ourselves like little awards for it too

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but anyway it was one of the things that we did

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and it was like day to day like we thought we day to day like the work was

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so serious like everyone we literally thought we were doing god's work

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because that's what lloyd had said to us lloyd blank fine yeah he was like we're doing god's work

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and i was like yes we are because i was like 20 21

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and i was like i'm doing god's work and everyone took everything

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so seriously but we had this holiday video and i like volunteered

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or was voluntold i don't remember to become one of the producers and

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so my job was to help like write the scripts it

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was like an snl thing to like write the scripts

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and like help like direct and have and like make the mds and vps like

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lip sync to all these different songs they're like it's my job you have to lip sync taylor swift yeah

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and i would like give them these like costumes

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and it was just like so fun

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and it was a way to interact with each other oh i love

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that that was not work yeah but it was work

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but like it wasn't work no it was it was fun it was silly

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and you're able to like bring a fun side out of the vps

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and mds as well yes and then they get to like see me for a person too not just like a

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robotic minions caught in the machine kind of a machine

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but um yeah so like i would just encourage even like other like now

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that i'm thinking about it like other little things like we had this annual um baking competition

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and like me like you know me i'm not a baker much less a cook at all

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but for some reason me and my my my friend slash uh fellow first

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or second year i don't remember

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which year this was fellow first year christine we were like let's enter the competition together

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and we made these um sticky toffee pudding cupcakes i will never forget this and we won

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yeah i know oh my god i know he's more shocked i would have been shocked

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that you got a bacon kind but we like beat all of the like ea's

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and admins who had all these like amazing like passed down recipes

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but anyway that was just like another way for us to like

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like did we think we were good cooks or good bakers like no

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but we're like okay let's just do it

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and then it's like another way to like interact with people

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and like have connections and also like make little jokes right

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and like be and like it also helps

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if you're the one organizing the event as well yeah

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because then you can bring people together and everyone can see you

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and then come to you because you are the organizer yeah i organized a baking competition at linkedin Oh,

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for my larger like team and like org.

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A copier.

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I didn't even know you won your sticky toffee cupcakes.

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But yeah, I organized this baking competition and got like engineers on our team and like sister teams to like sign up.

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Yeah.

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And it really brought people together.

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We were able to vote and everything.

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I've actually done it twice and they were mega successes.

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People loved it.

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And it was a way for like us to engage it

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was a way for me to engage with people who were not on my team

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but on partner teams and in different roles

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because it's super cross-team cross-functional yeah so designers came engineers came data scientists came yeah

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and it was a way to also talk to people

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but then also be known obviously it's for baking it wasn't for like yeah she was known

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but it was also known for it was a way to get known you know yeah okay yeah

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or i was like i was kind of making fun of it

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but you're right you know it is it's a way yeah

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it's a way for you to like put your name out there

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that is kind of like low stakes yeah it's just like a reason for people to like know your name

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and also like talk to you to engage a conversation in the next time i was in the micro kitchen

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and someone who like i literally don't need to remember

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because since you're the organizer there's like

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so many people you're dealing with they're like oh you organized it's like oh did you partake

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and like it was a conversation they're like i for sure partook i was like did you bake something

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yeah no i first it was forsaken anyways um yeah those

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are good memories memories it's funny how like i'm like oh my years at goldman sachs all i remember

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so fun music video

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and the baking contest yeah seriously those are probably like micro

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snippets out of your i know it was like one percent of my time

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but it is i mean it is yeah it's funny how

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that's what i remember about what i remember it all right

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what about communicating as a woman in the workplace this is

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a juicy one do you have thoughts yeah i do um it's tough it also depends on the environment

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that you're in and the workplace situation like especially

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if it's a super male dominated field like finance tech um i don't know gaming like those boiling gas yeah

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if they're super heavily male dominated it's hard sometimes as a woman to be able to have your voice heard

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and there's like many many studies on this on like why

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that is especially in like workplaces with that dynamic i would say

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if you find yourself there my number one tip is to

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find male allies oh who will be able to pull you

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you into conversations these are the people it could be your

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boss it could be a mentor it could just be someone who's in meetings with you

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that you just really trust

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and for me this was my my boss albert who we had a very close like relationship

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and like we would be back channeling all the time

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and then he would give me such good advice

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that like in a meeting if it's like quiet

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and someone like asks something he's like it's jump ball he would like coach me afterwards

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and before it's jump ball meaning like anyone can like chime in

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and like someone like lobbed a question in the air chime wow like you know grab the ball

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and you know take it so

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and then there be times where there be conversations happening in meetings

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and like i would have like specific knowledge on an answer

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but i'd be like too nervous to speak up

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and then albert would be like dming me on slack be

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like go take this you know this blah blah blah like

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wow male ally who is not only encouraging me to take the jump ball

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but then sometimes even putting like a layup for me anyway to like dunk it

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and then he'd pass it over to me that's amazing

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so it was not only him being a male ally

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but it was also me wanting to have like that wanting

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that exposure yeah and wanting to speak up okay

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but then how do you how do you cultivate

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that like let's say you didn't have albert

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because i'm like okay he sounds like the best boss in

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the world like not gonna lie he really was albert if you're watching this.

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Yeah, homey for life.

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Albert's living his best life.

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I know he is.

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I need to I need to text him.

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But like, let's say, okay, Albert aside, let's say he was this like outlier.

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Yeah.

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What did you have other male allies that weren't your boss?

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I do cultivate them.

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Yeah, I would say for this one very tactical thing to do is

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that like figure out who you admire in the workplace.

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It could be a woman, it could be a man.

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But if you're looking for male allies who are already in the room and already have influence, like find someone that you trust,

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like and that can be through you have coffee with them, you vibe.

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And then after you're in a meeting together, pull them aside immediately when the meeting ends and then ask them for feedback.

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I'm gonna be like that sounds so scary I mean it's scary in the sense

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that like your ego might be hurt

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because you're like oh I'm like seeking feedback

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but it's only for growth especially if you trust this person not even

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that even just like I could imagine someone being like oh

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my god like I couldn't imagine like going up to someone more senior

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and being like like even like pulling them aside even like approaching them

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but that's something you have to like work up to I guess it's something you have to work up to

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but it's just like you're in a meeting together

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and you want to get better you've already had a coffee chat with this person like they know

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that you have an interest in growing you have like a growth mindset

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and then like you know when everyone's packing up their laptops and then everyone's leaving when the meeting's over

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like you can't you like you walk out of the meeting room with someone by your side

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and you have small talk yeah so what would you say pretend it's me i'd be like hey james hey

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you talk with me or I walk out

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and be like hey James hello where's Sheree hello this is

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based off of someone I know okay I'll be British um hello there I'm like hey

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so um do you have a second perhaps for you um

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well in this meeting um I just wanted to grab your feedback really quick

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if you had a couple of thoughts on how I presented myself what I said and how you think I could

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you know perhaps have more influence in the next meeting like

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what do you think what's a thoughtful question i will most definitely give you feedback yeah

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and and and you know if james is running off to lunch

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or has another meeting be like no stress you don't have to answer this now but

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if you can jot down like three thoughts like i'll catch

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you later yeah okay as as like a manager yes thinking about it now as a manager

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and a former like team leader i would be receptive to

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that yeah i'd be like oh wow like what a thoughtful young person

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or just like what a thoughtful person who like actually really

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wants to grow i have some thoughts on it they're not fully formed

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about communicating in the workplace as a woman yeah i think

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the like reality of it i feel like i'm like always

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the one that's like the cold reality of the world the

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cold hard truth you don't know what this world is like

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yeah like you don't you don't you don't even know you're not ready for the truth

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but god no but like i am you know i am like half a generation older than sherry

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so i do think the reality of it is

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that you may not necessarily be in control of everything right

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like as a woman like you are still existing in a broader context

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and you exist in the context of coconut you think you

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just fell out of a coconut exactly i think what i'm trying to say is that

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it's helpful to also be aware of how other people perceive you

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and it may not even be specific to you it may

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be like you as a category right like you as a

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25 year old woman how are you perceived you as a

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30 year old not single woman how are you perceived like

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you know how there's been a lot of discussion about the

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idea of the manic pixie dream girl i feel like there's a version of it

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that carries over to the workplace as well where like

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when you are a certain age

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and you act a certain way you're kind of viewed as

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more of like the ingenue like you're like new to the world like you're new you're young enough

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that people don't perceive you as a threat yeah they don't

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take you seriously right you're you're you're fresh out of school

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great you have all this fresh energy good job yes right

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so that's like kind of but also it's to your benefit right

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because if you go up

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and ask someone senior like oh can you give me feedback they will be fully honest with you

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and be like trying to help you yeah as opposed to

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when you reach a certain point when you're no longer like viewed as the ingenue

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and um you are like a little bit more senior in your career like those same tactics may

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or may not go over the same way

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because then you kind of start to be viewed as like competition

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and yeah totally so it's kind of like you get some beginners like leeway yeah

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so that's just something that i've seen that i myself

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and i and my like fellow millennial women i feel like we've like been working our way through

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and i don't really have an answer to that

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but it's just something that i can be like watch out for like be aware of it and like understand

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how you're being perceived by the people you interact with totally i think i mean echoes it's

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especially we're talking on the context of women in the workplace

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but i think like men as well um especially maybe minority

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men as well like like are placed in some sort of

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like stereotype yeah um i know one of my friends who

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worked in venture capital he was one of like the youngest

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partners at a vc firm amongst like other people who are probably like 20 to 35 years older than him

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and then he had gotten married

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but then he like very specifically like wanted to get married

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and have a ring yeah seem older than he actually was

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and he was very mature and like but like in

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that way it's like understanding your reputation and how do you manage it

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and then perhaps surprise people if you know they have a stereotype of you

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and you completely break out of that in a good way

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yeah and i do feel like that sort of benefit

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that men get in the workplace of like being married

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and like having kids like just think about your own perception

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of like a man with kids like you're automatically like oh my god he's a great he's a good person

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because he's a father he's responsible like he's responsible he is

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you know like thoughtful etc versus like women don't get that

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same sort of benefit of the doubt or like immediate positive shift yeah in um perception

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I mean if anything it could be like the other way oh yeah true true that's

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so unfair yeah so I I don't know

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that wasn't like a fully fully formed thought

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but it's like something there's something there yeah I mean

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so I guess like the main takeaway is

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that like be aware of what how you may be perceived for whether it's fair or not like in the workplace

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and many times perception can be reality what you weren't you weren't ready for

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that truth bomb yeah so what do you think about communication

476

when it comes to dating

477

and flirting um thoughts thoughts i think okay i think even the kind of like precursor to

478

explicit communication is like your energy because vibes yeah

479

because i feel like something why are you laughing communicating through

480

energy well more energy more energy more energy more passion more passion more passion um no

481

but i just feel like for myself and my own experience I feel like in the last like few months, like something has shifted in my energy.

482

Whereas like I'll be going back to the same exact places and situations.

483

But now all of a sudden,

484

like people are like approaching me and like people are like coming up to me and like speaking to me, you know.

485

Oh, I love that.

486

Yeah.

487

You're like more, you're more open.

488

I think so.

489

You're like radiating, you're magnetic.

490

Yeah or maybe I'm just not wearing an engagement ring anymore

491

that might be it that that might be part of it

492

but no I I don't know I think it's not it's not just

493

that I think it's more like my energy has shifted yeah

494

and also it's like both my energy that I'm putting out

495

but then also like my energy within myself whereas now I

496

am like more like aware of the world around me I'm like almost like seeing the world through like a different perspective.

497

I love that.

498

I think it's energy that you put out and then also the energy to receive as well.

499

So that like if people come up to you and talk to you, you're not going to be closed off.

500

Yeah.

501

Yeah.

502

And I feel like for me, I'm like very much like sometimes I'm in like a state of like mind or energy where I'm like, nobody better talk to me.

503

Like I'm not here to like, I do not wish to be precise.

504

I do not.

505

Yes, exactly seriously really yeah whereas like you're different like you're much

506

and like perceive me everyone you're more like open all the time it's about your energy

507

so maybe it like kind of like starts there yeah i

508

think you can also perceive people's energy too before they even

509

like open up their mouths like you could yeah before they

510

speak you're like oh do you have like a positive like

511

are you smiling are your eyes glistening with them for the

512

future in the world do you glimmer yeah do Do you shimmer?

513

Like, I really believe in that that energy and you can feel it in someone, even if you're just like interacting with them briefly.

514

Yeah.

515

But then what about, okay, energy aside.

516

What are your thoughts?

517

You guys already know if you've seen the dating episode, I've said it once and I'll say it again.

518

What?

519

What'd you say?

520

I love the banter.

521

Oh, okay.

522

I love, yeah, me too think so in terms of communicating with like someone romantically

523

or dating like I think it's really attractive obviously

524

when people are intelligent and I saw this from a like a TikTok video

525

so if you guys know who it's from like definitely at them

526

but they're just like women in general this was a gross generalization

527

but I agreed with it women are at least myself like really are attracted to people who are intelligent

528

and one way to demonstrate intelligence is through

529

like jokes and being funny and

530

if you can like engage in like the witty humor the banter the banter then um like i find

531

that super attractive and it draws me in as well totally like it demonstrates

532

that it actually it like demonstrates several things because it demonstrates

533

that you're smart enough to like pick up on

534

and like make jokes in the moment but also

535

that you have enough um eq yeah it'll work to like deliver it in a way that's like funny

536

and you're like oh this kind of joke will connect with this person yeah

537

and like it's gonna land they have the context for this

538

like blah blah blah yeah it's actually quite complicated to be

539

funny i think um in a good way yeah it's hard to be funny it's hard to be funny

540

because then you have to like know the other person

541

and what they find funny and understand what context they have for the jokes that you're going to make.

542

Is it a cultural reference, a historic reference?

543

Like, you know.

544

So, yeah, I think being funny can someone feign humor or being funny it's hard

545

no i don't think you can i think usually a joke will like fall flat

546

and people can immediately be like

547

that was awkward yeah i mean also like you like leading with humor like

548

if you are leading with jokes you can really like understand

549

a person like pretty quickly like you could be like oh like what kind of references are they picking up

550

or not picking up like what is their response

551

to my like jokes and my banter yeah i think it also can

552

if you're not like a naturally funny person i think two things

553

that can help one watching like comedy shows

554

and like picking up on other comedians

555

and figuring out what do you find funny um

556

and then the second thing is also self-deprecating jokes like

557

when you're making jokes you never want to like punch down on someone you know

558

if someone that's what they say for like stand-up comedian you want to like make fun of yourself

559

and you can also punch up as well yeah

560

or like you first you can like make fun of yourself

561

and then you can make fun of someone else yeah i

562

also i like being teased i think being teased um it

563

can be cute what about the role of like gossip

564

or tea like where does

565

that fall in how to talk to anyone i think it's

566

an important part like i think people who believe they're like self-righteous

567

and like oh i don't gossip i don't you know especially

568

like harmless gossip i don't gossip i don't gossip i think people who like claim to be self-righteous in

569

that sense you're just kidding yourself

570

and you're honestly hurting yourself for making connections with people i think hurtful harmful gossip like that's a different thing

571

but if it's like harmless gossip

572

and like just a little bit of tea sipping can be

573

fine i think like specifically outside of friend groups like on

574

the topic of how to talk to anyone like a little

575

bit of harmless gossip is a great way to like break

576

through like three layers of like small talk to then like

577

have like kind of this like inside joke between the two of you inside jokes also are

578

so powerful i was like listening to something the other day

579

on tick tock where someone was like oh like one of the

580

one of the best hacks to like befriend someone it's to like make an inside joke with them right away

581

and i was like oh yeah i freaking love

582

that like i love when people do that with me

583

and i also enjoy doing that with other people because then you have this like

584

little like harmless little secret and there's like this little inside joke and it's like so like

585

fun yeah um yeah

586

but it's kind of like i feel like there's like kind of like a spectrum between like harmless gossip

587

and inside joke it's like can sometimes be like one in the same

588

so maybe it's a spectrum it's like a and then diagram

589

or something like that

590

but like i don't know one example is like i was at the gym

591

and then i was um talking to one of the managers

592

and i was like oh like i heard this happen with like the cfo

593

which is like someone

594

that i have no idea like i've never met this man

595

like you know this guy like probably barely knows him

596

and it was just

597

and he just all of a sudden he like you know broke the fourth wall

598

or like just like broke the actor who's like oh my

599

god like yes like this is what happened this is blah blah blah

600

and it's like totally harmless yeah but it was it

601

or it was great to like just like connect about something and then now like every every time we see each other, we're like, teehee.

602

Yeah.

603

Yeah.

604

It's kind of, it builds relationships.

605

Yeah.

606

Yeah.

607

It's the, yeah, the power of normal gossip.

608

Next, we're going to talk about ways to invite people to talk to you without having to talk to them

609

or without having to initiate.

610

One of the great things that Jean and I share is our love for fashion.

611

And in this specific instance, fashion and statement pieces as a conversation starter.

612

So if, have you ever seen a person who's just wearing something so freaking cool, it's a cool blouse, a cool pair of jeans or shoes, and you're like, oh my God, that's amazing.

613

Sometimes when I see these people walking down the street, I will stop them.

614

I'll be like, you look fantastic.

615

And like, where did you get that from?

616

And so I think if you can incorporate that into your life and like, there are things that you really enjoy that are like specialty

617

or statement pieces it really does invite people in to ask you about it yeah I love a statement piece

618

so like especially if you enjoy fashion like I think that's something to lean into

619

because that's like a way that you can express yourself

620

and other people can perceive you and like sort of like understand who you are without you even

621

opening your mouth right like without even saying anything you're sort

622

of like having a conversation with them through the way

623

that you choose to like dress especially if you have something

624

that is more of a statement or like more like noticeable or more like cute so that's like

625

that's kind of like informed sort of the way I shop

626

because I just like also like I love like statement pieces like I love like a whimsical like bag

627

or like a really like unexpected detail or something like that.

628

Well, that's also why you do a lot of shopping like abroad as well, because then like one, it commemorates your trip as like a souvenir.

629

But then like there's a story behind like what you're wearing.

630

And when people ask you about it, oh my God, my biggest flex, and I am so annoying about this, like and I know it, is that when I buy things in thrift stores or consignment shops abroad,

631

I am incredibly insufferable.

632

And for good reason, because it's so cool.

633

Yeah.

634

That I got this like scarf from, it was like it's like a van gogh print on a scarf from a thrift store in australia in sydney

635

and i've gotten so many compliments on it

636

because i wear the scarf as a top

637

and i'm like i tie it around on different things

638

and people like oh my god i love your top like where's it from

639

and i'm like yeah it's from and it's also like one of a kind

640

because it's from a thrift store i mean i'm sure you can find it online

641

but who's gonna find it it's like maybe you are like who knows who makes it even yeah

642

and then also like your vintage leather long jacket yeah um paris yeah

643

but down paris thrift store in paris at 17 also like

644

for me like i also like to buy like special purchases

645

um abroad because then it's like a way to cover commemorate the trip

646

and then also it's something that people can ask you about

647

and then you can tell them the story behind it

648

and then perhaps they'll purchase it or just like have a conversation

649

or even if they don't ask you it's not like they'll like be like where did you get

650

that they'll just be like oh like i like your bag you'll be like oh my god thanks

651

so much like i got this like on a trip um last year in lisbon

652

or something like that or like i got this in barcelona

653

and and then like that's like you like responding to them with like a little piece of information

654

and then that's how you kind of like get into yes conversation

655

and then they're like oh my god like i've always told you in barcelona

656

or like i was just there last year like blah blah

657

blah yes yeah it's such a good conversation starter yeah um especially

658

if there's a story behind it that you care about um they can sense

659

that excitement that you bring into the conversation i think also part of it is

660

that like i genuinely love fashion and have like a true

661

passion for it so like passion for fashion yeah

662

so like it whenever people do ask me about it like i'm really excited to talk about the topic

663

so like maybe that's something that like either

664

if it's not like natural to you you can like try it out like little by little

665

or maybe there's like other ways to convey like things

666

that you're passionate about in like what you wear

667

or like how you present yourself like

668

if you love golf like you could be i don't know

669

where like whatever you go golfing like buy some of the memorabilia

670

and wear it and then they'll ask you about it yes like where

671

if you go to band and dunes like get a little sweater that's like band and dunes like Totally.

672

Or like one of my friends, my classmates who goes to golf courses around the world, he always gets a little hat.

673

Yeah.

674

That sent the golf course name.

675

I love buying hats.

676

Right.

677

Kind of for this reason.

678

Yeah.

679

Because then you can wear it and then you can wear it.

680

You can wear it the next time you play golf in like a normal place.

681

And then it'll strike up conversation with people, especially if you're already on the golf course where other people have similar interests to you.

682

And you're like, oh my God, you went there.

683

I went there.

684

Or I've always wanted to go there what like recommendations do you have yes

685

or even like a lot of times people

686

if they go to like a hotel

687

or something they'll like buy a hat from the hotel really yeah is

688

that kind of cheesy well it depends on like the hotel like people will do it for like amangani

689

or like amangiri or people do that for like rest like the restaurant

690

and not restaurants but like dive bars you know that's a good yes yeah like something

691

that you like associate yourself with or like an experience

692

that you had

693

and then like other people i don't know it's like social signaling yeah right like it's like

694

when i went to the appre at chamois

695

and palisades tahoe you better believe i got a chamois hat

696

and i wear it around you know

697

if you know you know chamois chamois the other part of the memorabilia

698

that you pick up at different places is that it also kind of

699

as a way of signal signaling to people what sort of groups you belong to

700

or like what sort of um common interests you may have

701

so like why do people buy so much gear from their undergrad

702

or from their grad schools like why does sheree have like 50 pieces of stanford clothing it's

703

because one she's obsessed with stanford i love stanford

704

and also she has tons of stuff from barnard

705

and columbia too yeah

706

so she's just like obviously she just like loves it she's passionate about it

707

but like also it's like subconsciously a way of being like hey like this is part of my identity

708

and then you can see it right away when you see me

709

and that's also a conversation starter too especially if you're an alum

710

or you know you live in palo alto

711

or you're in from the surrounding area like i'm

712

when i'm wearing like a stanford sweatshirt like people can see it and

713

if they bring it up i'm like obviously i'm going to

714

talk to you about it yeah you're like you want to I'm a Samurai.

715

Me too.

716

Me too.

717

What year?

718

Oh my God.

719

I was Samurai.

720

Well, I'm not a lot of now.

721

Or if you go to a concert, that's why people love buying concert admirabilia.

722

Yeah.

723

Because it shows you the music that you're into and then you actually went to the concert.

724

Yeah.

725

So yeah, there's lots of ways, even if you're not like obsessed with fashion, like us to kind of like express who you are without words and then have people come to you.

726

How to talk to anyone.

727

Yeah, start a conversation with no words.

728

How to start a conversation without saying a single word.

729

It's the energy.

730

Thank you guys so much for tuning in to this episode of Tiger Sisters.

731

Hope this was helpful.

732

There's some topics that, you know, could be discussed further.

733

They're open discussion.

734

Yes.

735

And so please remember to like, comment, and subscribe.

736

And we would so appreciate it if you could share this video with someone who might find it helpful.

737

We'll see you next time.

738

Thanks.

739

Bye.

740

Thank you.

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This B1 speaking lesson is built on the video “Networking 101 from Harvard & Stanford MBA Grads”. This video has 740 sentences and 8471 words to shadow. The speech runs for 45:19. The speaker talks fast, about 187 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
gossip noun	/ˈɡɑsɪp/	Someone who likes to talk about other people's private or personal business.
perceive verb	/pɚˈsiv/	To become aware of, through the physical senses, to see; to understand.
workplace noun	/ˈwɝkˌpleɪs/	The place where someone works.
harmless adjective	/ˈhɑɹmləs/	Incapable of causing harm or danger; safe.
feedback noun	/ˈfiːdˌbæk/	Critical assessment of a process or activity or of their results.
bake verb	/beɪk/	To cook (something) in an oven (for someone).
interact verb	/ɪn.təˈɹækt/	To engage in communication and other shared activities (with someone).
tiger noun	/ˈtaɪɡə/	Panthera tigris, a large predatory mammal of the cat family, indigenous to Asia.
banter verb	/ˈbæntə/	To engage in banter or playful conversation.
chamois noun	/ʃæmˈwɑ/	A short-horned goat antelope native to mountainous terrain in southern Europe; Rupicapra rupicapra.
mailbag noun	/ˈmeɪlˌbæɡ/	A strong canvas bag used for the transportation of mail.
thrift noun	/ˈθɹɪft/	The characteristic of using a minimum of something (especially money).
thoughtful adjective	/ˈθɔːtfəl/	Demonstrating thought or careful consideration.
podcast noun	/ˈpɑdˌkæst/	A program, especially an audio program, produced on a regular basis, delivered over the Internet in a compressed digital format and designed for playback on…
demonstrate verb	/ˈdɛm.ənˌstɹeɪt/	To show how to use (something).

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
come up to verb	To approach.
figure out verb	To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce.
get together verb	To meet, to gather together, to congregate.
go back to verb	To stem from; to originate in.
grow up verb	To mature and become an adult.
pick up verb	To lift; to grasp and raise.
pick up on verb	To notice, observe, learn, or understand, especially something otherwise overlooked.
put out verb	To blind (eyes).

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

All right, let's dive in.
I feel like you're a really good person.
What did you have other male allies that weren't your boss?
You're like more, you're more open.
You're like radiating, you're magnetic.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	have been · we've covered · You've done
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	was told · was born · be exposed
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	people who are · person who is · people who were
Possibility with “might / may” might/may + verb — something that is possible but not certain	may have · might be · may not necessarily

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 222 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: thrift /ˈθɹɪft/, thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfəl/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: chamois /ʃæmˈwɑ/, perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, ingenue /ˈɑnʒənu/, sherry /ˈʃɛɹi/, passionate /ˈpæʃənɪt/
Long words — get the stress right: communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, memorabilia /ˌmɛm(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪə/, stereotype /ˈstɛ.ɹi.əˌtaɪp/, organizer /ˈɔɹɡənaɪzɚ/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like gossip, perceive, workplace.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

Grammar in this video

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?