Shadowing Practice: Objectify him: texting - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Each mode opens a full-screen practice room.

116 sentences

If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.

I'm Dr. Orion Tarraban, and this is Psych Hacks, Better Living Through Psychology.

And the topic of today's short talk is, objectify him.

This is going to be a fun one.

That's right, ladies, objectify the man that you've set your sights on.

Make him feel like a sentient piece of meat.

You'll thank me later.

To understand the reasoning behind this advice, I'll need to explain one of the biggest disjuncts in the modern courtship process.

Let's call it a failure in intersexual understanding.

Basically, men are giving women what they wish women would give them, and women are giving men what they wish men would give to them.

And this doesn't work because what men and women want are different.

However, because of this failure, what happens?

Men get a lot of cutesy texts from their women about couples

and puppies and unfunny jokes that make men question their intelligence.

And women get dick pics.

And both sides are thinking to themselves, why the hell did this person send me this?

And the short answer is because they hope to get something like it in return.

The long answer is actually pretty deep.

Basically, after the initial blissful period in which the child can bask in unconditional love,

a new conditionality from its parents begins to enter the equation.

Children learn that they have to do certain things

and not do certain other things in order to stay in the parents' good graces.

Introduction of these standards of behavior are first met with tantrums, extinction bursts.

But when they don't work, children take a new tack.

They mimic the love

and affection they previously received from the parent in an attempt to get it reflected back at them in the present moment.

In essence, they identify with the parent

and try to shape the parent's behavior to be more in line with their own preferences.

They're basically saying, this is how I want you to treat me.

Turns out, people don't grow up that much.

And in many ways, the intensity and intimacy of sexual relationships returns us to this time in our past.

However, just like the parent and the child in my previous example, it's important to keep in mind that men and women want different things.

And instead of throwing a tantrum or taking what they want by force, adults in sexual relationships have hit on a more pro -social,

if somewhat boneheaded, strategy to get what they want from the other.

They give it themselves.

So that's our answer.

Men send dick pics and sexually explicit content to women because it would make their fucking day if women did the same.

In their ham -fisted way, they are saying, I'm giving this to you in the hope that you'll give it back to me.

Unfortunately, many women find these texts disgusting.

They think that it's disrespectful to be objectified.

It doesn't make her, the person inside the body, feel seen or valuable.

And her greatest fear could be that the man she is engaging with is primarily or exclusively interested in her for sex.

So what does she do?

She sends the guy memes and content that touch on anything except the sexual dimension of their relationship.

Her communication is emotional or personal or relational.

In her own ham -fisted way, she is saying, I'm giving this to you first in the hope that you'll give it back to me.

Unfortunately, many men find these texts inane.

They don't usually pertain to their own goals or interests, so they perceive it as just another emotional chore associated with dealing with women.

And the absence of adult content exacerbates their greatest fear that the women they are engaging with aren't sexually interested in them.

And somewhere, somehow, God is laughing.

Are you finally ready to understand how relationships really work?

Then get your hands on my book, The Value of Others, How to Get and Keep More of What You Want in the Sexual marketplace.

Learn what actually moves the needle, why relationships fail, and how to position yourself for success in this strange new world of mating and dating.

Over 100 ,000 copies sold.

Get yours today.

Now available in ebook, audiobook, and paperback formats.

The links are in the description.

Fortunately, the way out of this conundrum is simple.

Instead of giving what we hope to receive in return, we appreciate that men and women want different things,

learn what those are, and give the other side what they want instead.

We'll start with the men because they're easier.

Men want to know that you're excited to fuck them.

I cannot make it any more straightforward than that.

Men want to know that you're excited to fuck them.

Trust me, ladies, it will make a man's day.

It will make a man's month to be objectified.

Tell him you love his fucking arms.

Tell him that you're daydreaming about his big cock.

Tell him you got wet thinking about the last time you were together.

This is the easiest way you can start improving your relationship today.

This kind of communication is immensely attractive to the vast majority of men.

Why?

Because nobody gives men compliments.

And any compliments they do receive are based on their effort, success, or outcome.

You can differentiate yourself from all other women by unabashedly lusting after him.

Like, think of the most disgusting, inappropriate text you've ever received from a man.

Switch around the genders and send that instead.

Problem solved.

Now, for the women.

Women want to know that you're thinking about them when they're not around.

Why?

Because you can't fuck them when they're not around.

So they think that if you're still thinking about them when you can't fuck them, it must mean that you like them and not just their absent bodies.

And this liking is demonstrated through affection.

Affection is actually not that complicated.

What's more, it's completely free, and it's never been easier in the history of the world to give affection to women with our current technologies.

Basically, affection is a token of remembrance.

It's a sign that you remember what she said last week, or where you went together last year, or what you've learned of her preferences.

So the communication needs to be accurately personal

and the more it's coded through references that only she

or you both will understand the better and the easiest way to do

that is through memes you're on social media anyway so now

when you're on social media and you see something that reminds you of her you click forward her account and send

yeah it literally takes two seconds And the more accurately the meme resonates with her humor and interests or preferences,

the more the communication gains in value.

When in doubt, find a pic of two little animals holding hands, comment us, and forward it along.

It's really not that hard.

And this is how we solve the problem of intersexual understanding.

In a perfect world, men and women's textual exchanges with each other would be exactly reversed.

Women would send the naughty, filthy messages, and men would send the sweet, affectionate messages, and both sides would get more of what they want.

100

But to do that, people have to grow up a bit and stop living like little children, trying to model the love they want out of their parents.

101

Identification with the loved object is dangerous when people actually have different needs

102

and wants just consider how ridiculous it would be to put food in your car's gas tank but

103

that is effectively what billions of people do every day in

104

their sexual relationships it can stop with us what do you

105

think does this fit with your own experience let me know in the comments below

106

and please send this episode to someone who you think might

107

benefit from its message i know you know somebody who needs

108

to hear this it's word of mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow.

109

I have a lot of value elsewhere.

110

The menu of services is getting so long, I can't talk about it here.

111

If you're at all interested in some of the things that I have to say that I can't talk about on YouTube, then go down to the description and check it out,

112

including opportunities to engage with me directly through my private community and individual consultations.

113

The links to everything are in the description below.

114

Trust me, there's a lot there for you.

115

As always, thank you for listening, and I appreciate your support.

116

Let's go.

Download App

Everything you need to speak fluently

AI PronunciationScore every sentence

IPA PracticeMaster every sound

VocabularyBuild your word bank

Vocab GameLearn while playing

Scan QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

📺 Same Channel

The five hard conversations: preventing divorce

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

✨ Recommend Video

How Cell Phones Impact Our Relationships

376

24 sentences

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “Objectify him: texting”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: send, relationship, parent. This video has 116 sentences and 1445 words to shadow. The speech runs for 9:38. The speaker talks at a natural 150 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
affection noun	/əˈfɛk.ʃən/	The act of affecting or acting upon.
engage verb	/ɪnˈɡeɪd͡ʒ/	To engross or hold the attention of; to keep busy or occupied.
preference noun	/ˈpɹɛf(ə)ɹ(ə)ns/	The selection of one thing or person over others (with the main adposition being "for" in relation to the thing or person, but possibly also "of")
meme noun	/miːm/	Any unit of (originally cultural) information, such as a practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another in a…
solve verb	/sɒlv/	To find an answer or solution to a problem or question; to work out.
disgusting adjective	/dɪsˈɡʌstɪŋ/	Causing disgust; repulsive; distasteful.
pic noun	/pɪk/	A picture, especially a photographic image.
sexually adverb	/ˈsɛksjʊəli/	With respect to sex (either of the two divisions of organisms).
accurately adverb	/ˈæk.jə.ɹɪt.li/	In an accurate manner; exactly; precisely; without error or defect.
compliment noun	/ˈkɑmpləmənt/	An expression of praise, congratulation, or respect.
fist noun	/fɪst/	A hand with the fingers clenched or curled inward.
topic noun	/ˈtɑpɪk/	A subject; a theme; a category or general area of interest.
vast adjective	/væst/	Very large or wide (literally or figuratively).
primarily adverb	/ˈpɹaɪ.mə.ɹə.li/	Of a primary or central nature, first and foremost.
complicated adjective	/ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/	Difficult or convoluted.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
grow up verb	To mature and become an adult.
go together verb	To be in a relationship.
live through verb	To survive a difficult period or event
turn out verb	To end up; to result.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

Let's call it a failure in intersexual understanding.
Are you finally ready to understand how relationships really work?
We'll start with the men because they're easier.
Trust me, ladies, it will make a man's day.
Tell him that you're daydreaming about his big cock.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	you've set · have hit · you've ever received
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	be objectified · are based · is demonstrated
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	someone who you · somebody who needs

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 33 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, can't, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “sh” and “zh” sounds: affection /əˈfɛk.ʃən/, associate /əˈsoʊʃi.ət/, identification /aɪˌdɛn(t)ɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/, consultation /ˌkɑnsəlˈteɪʃən/, dimension /daɪˈmɛn.ʃən/
Long words — get the stress right: accurately /ˈæk.jə.ɹɪt.li/, primarily /ˈpɹaɪ.mə.ɹə.li/, complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/, ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, associate /əˈsoʊʃi.ət/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like affection, engage, preference.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: Objectify him: texting - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Download App

The five hard conversations: preventing divorce

How Cell Phones Impact Our Relationships

Life of an Adult Child of a Narcissist Explained in 8 Minutes

DPR Ian Reads Thirst Tweets

The Dark Psychology of Value: Force Others to Respect - Alain de Botton

Desexualize your brain

Ultimate DATING ADVICE: You must FIX this one thing! | Hey Tablo Ep. 34

Oxytocin: The Love Hormone (#short)

Sexuality Professor Answers Dating Questions | Tech Support | WIRED

Enough Talking. Start Becoming Someone

Once You Want Nothing, You'll Attract Everything

Every Romantic Orientation Explained in 10 Minutes [ Vol.2 ]

Why “Good Parenting” Creates Clingy Kids