Практика Shadowing: Emma Watson Reveals the Best Advice That Changed Her Life - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube

I know it's a bit hot,

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I know it's a bit hot,

but I've got a couple of questions.

Yeah, do it.

I want to end on.

We end on with every episode.

Yes.

These are your final five.

Okay.

They have to be answering one word to one sentence maximum,

but I will probably ignore that rule, as I always do.

Amazing.

So question number one is,

we ask these to everyone who's ever been on the show,

what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

I'm going to cheat slightly, if you'll allow it.

Yeah.

I read Emergent Strategy by Adrienne Marie Brown.

It was given to me as a gift by my friend Anne-Marie for my 30th birthday.

And I think that being a good,

pious, Protestant English girl, I really believed that if I worked hard enough

and if I was kind of saintly enough that someone would see my good deeds and all of my hard work and,

like, give me the sticker,

you know, give me the star.

And so a kind of martyrdom was part of my,

sort of, I understood was important in my,

and I think reading her book and reading about pleasure activism,

which is sort of the idea that like,

anything that you want to sustain,

e.g. justice, e.g. you need it to be easy and you need it to be pleasurable in a way,

because that's what's going to mean that you'll be able to do it for a long time.

Part of my burnout was that I wasn't prioritizing pleasure

and joy as kind of like underpinning for even some of the harder,

more somber, cerebral things that I was doing.

And I think that changed my life.

And I think we also have a model,

particularly within activism and lots of spaces,

that like this kind of sole, individual, charismatic leader.

And I like you, you know,

my hero is always Martin Luther King and Gandhi,

and you just saw this sort of like solitary person

that was doing that and i think if i could go back and do anything differently it would be

that when i embarked on some of the public activism

that i did i wouldn't go in the way i did i would go in with what i have now

which is not just like an activist community like i have friends who can give me feedback

and who i can talk to and who i feel that i'm not doing the work alone,

solo, however heroic that might look.

Yeah, I guess heroism and martyrdom,

the way that it was looked,

maybe I just don't believe that's how we'll get the job done anymore.

Anything good will get done.

So I think that book and I think that idea,

that revolutionized my approach.

I love that.

Yeah, that's a great answer.

It's beautiful.

I want to read that book now.

Yeah, you should have her on the podcast.

Yeah, absolutely.

Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Oh, so much.

How long have you got?

God, mostly just like, I think a lot of stuff around toughen up,

bottle it up, deal with that later.

You know, just like subtle versions of like,

well, maybe tell the truth,

but just not all of it.

Just maybe like, maybe just like tell like a little bit of it,

but not like the whole thing, you know?

Because like the truth is,

the problem with like telling three quarters of the truth is that then you're sort of in this like constant

peeling and unpeeling of yourself where you sort of like,

you're sort of trying to do it,

but you're not quite doing it.

And I don't know, I think a lot of advice around that.

Also, anyone that tells you not to do what you love,

terrible advice

doing what you love will lead you where you need to go even if you can't see it at the time yeah

yeah terrible

terrible beauty tips

and advice I've been given around like I don't know just

like oh god again like back to our previous conversation all the ridiculous things

that you are encouraged to try and do as a woman like fake tan

and and i mean it's hilarious i actually right now i i it might be like well covered up

but i accidentally have a bottle of fake tan in my bathroom

and in my jet lag state last night i thought i was putting moisturizer on

but now i have like these like horrific uh fake tan marks on my legs and feet

I guess I'm just thinking about just like, oh my God.

And recently I was like,

okay, I want to get my teeth whitened.

And I looked like Ross from Friends when he'd had that awful fake tanning accident because they were just way too white.

And then I had to spend,

go back for two other visits to get the dentist to put my teeth back to my normal teeth.

So I guess I was just laughing,

thinking about like worse advice is just like don't ever listen to beauty technicians

or anyone advising you to do anything weird to your body

face appearance just just don't don't listen don't don't take the bait just don't do it

so good question number three how are you how are you now going to choose

work projects or activism differently does the person that's asking me to do something with them

can they confidently look at me and say that they care about me far more than what we're producing?

100

And do I care about them that way?

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One of my favourite people I worked with,

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Steve Chbosky, I remember him leaving what was a very productive rehearsal or script meeting with Logan Lerman,

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Ezra Miller and I, and he was like,

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I need to go and be with my wife now.

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And we were like, I don't think I've ever heard.

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I mean, at that point,

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I certainly hadn't ever heard a director in my career say they needed to leave for a personal reason

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or for a personal relationship.

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But I worked far harder for Steve than I worked for any other director

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because I think I was able to give a far more vulnerable performance in

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that film because I felt that he really cared about me beyond the product of the film.

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And I want to work with people like that,

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for whom the process is as important as the outcome.

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And the people that are part of it are more important than whatever the outcome is.

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I think this is a really difficult thing that I see everywhere in the world right now,

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is that we treat objects and things like they're sacred.

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And we don't treat people like they're the sacred thing.

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And that switch, yeah, I think it causes a lot of pain.

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Emma, something that you told me when we were speaking on the phone was

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that you've been working with the young people on helping them with some of the challenges

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that you've faced in your own career, in your own life.

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Yeah.

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And I remember being so touched by that.

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I wanted to learn more and for you to share it because I just think it's really special.

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And I was sharing it with some of my team before you arrived and everyone was quite drawn to it.

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So...

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As a young person, as I basically shared over however long it's been that we've been speaking,

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I just really needed to be having more conversations with people my own age and people that were older than me.

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I feel like I tried to navigate so many problems on my own

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and I just didn't know who to really speak to.

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And I was speaking to such a narrow group of people about what I was trying to navigate

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and I think that working with young people and giving them each other and also the space,

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the reason, the excuses to talk about the things

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that we don't talk about or create spaces for has been the most gratifying,

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the most purposeful and of service I've felt in a long time

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because it turns out pretty often that a lot of the things that we're struggling with,

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other people are struggling with as well.

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And so in a way,

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going back around and trying to put out into the world a lot of the things

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that I knew I needed as a young person and didn't get,

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it's been the best, most,

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the best, most gratifying thing.

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And I feel really lucky to be in a position and in a place where I can say a no,

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Like I've kind of done this treacherous journey and I think

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that I might have some ideas about what might be needed for someone to come out the other side of that safely.

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So it feels good to be of use.

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Yeah, I love that.

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Fifth question we ask is to every guest who's ever been on the show.

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If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow,

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what would it be?

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Oh, wow.

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One law.

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Okay, there's a couple of contenders.

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I'm gonna run you through one.

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One is gonna be- We'll vote on them.

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Okay, great.

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Perfect.

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One would be around the importance of telling the truth

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or like speaking your truth or just because I feel like

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so much chaos is caused by people not being sure whether or not they should or it's a good idea to or...

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I think that would be a pretty amazing one.

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Another contender, I mean, the obvious one is treat other people as you would like to be treated.

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That would obviously solve a lot of problems as well.

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I like that one you gave.

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The last one?

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Yeah, the first one.

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Oh, the first one.

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Yeah, the truth.

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Yeah.

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I guess it took me a long time and probably through doing my yoga teacher training,

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speaking truth with kindness is one of the first Niyamas, right?

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Mm-hmm.

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Very disappointed.

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I can't remember what the word is in… Not sattva?

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Maybe, yeah.

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Speaking the truth with kindness.

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Yeah, trying to think of the sattva.

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There's an amazing quote, which actually is given to me recently by a friend,

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which is like, the truth without kindness is brutality,

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and kindness without truth is manipulation.

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Say that again.

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Truth without kindness is brutality,

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and kindness without truth is manipulation.

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And so when I say,

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tell your truth, I don't mean going around like,

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just being awful to everyone.

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I mean, like, telling the microscopic truth and,

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like, having those, being willing to have a tolerance for those conversations.

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One of my favorite metaphors,

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I actually wrote about this recently for being in a relationship with anyone,

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is, like, you're in, it's,

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in a way, it's a dance, it's a fight.

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Like, I think about boxing in the sense of,

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like, who is going to go down to the mat with you and,

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like, not tap out?

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Because being honest about what's really going on is uncomfortable and it's risky.

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As we talked about earlier,

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you risk every time you tell the truth of maybe losing someone

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that you love because you don't know how they're going to respond to whatever your truth is.

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But I think to live that way creates the intimacy

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and connection that I think we long for and also sets people free in a way,

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you and them.

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Truth, yeah, truth with kindness.

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I think that's going to have to be my choice,

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my factor of deduction.

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Yeah, the Bhagavad Gita gives four principles for truth and kindness.

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The first is what you speak should be truthful.

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Yes.

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The second is it should be beneficial to all.

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The third is it shouldn't agitate the minds of others.

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Wow.

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And the fourth is it should be aligned with eternal wisdom and timeless wisdom.

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that's beautiful and perfect because yeah i think there's truths

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which are if they're not beneficial that do just agitate i think that's

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and it's not about not saying it it's the idea

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that you've thought so much about how you say it yes it's not

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that you've sanitized it

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because that's the modern day version the gita is not telling you to sanitize

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or be silent right it's telling you to filter your thought to make sure

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that the way you say it is digestible for everyone who's going to hear it.

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And therefore it actually has transformative power.

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It's not that it's not provocative or that it doesn't.

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It's just that you're not saying it in a way to trigger or get a reaction.

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You're saying it in a way that hits someone like an arrow of truth.

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It goes, I have to change because that person has been so mindful of how they spoke.

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Oh my God, that's incredible that's like that's everything i've just been trying to say about yeah

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if if we god if everyone was mindful enough about how they spoke their truth

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that it could just go straight to the heart

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oh yeah um rather than hit the ego along the way yeah that's why we can't talk

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because everything we say triggers someone's mind or their ego

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and then everything we say does it back and

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so now we're having a mind and ego debate

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which isn't the one that goes all the way to tap you know in your we're

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so focused on defending whatever the thing is that we feel

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that we need to defend

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that we just can't can't let no you can't hit the heart um

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so good yeah

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so good emma thank you for thank you the longest recorded

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conversation in on purpose history we had to change the cards

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the cameras we had to like and we haven't paused just

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so everyone knows just everyone knows me and emma have not moved

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so we didn't take a break there was no bathroom break

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no there was no break of whatever kind there was no

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coffee break we have sat in these seats for the entire duration

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that you watch this show or listen to it and

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so emma you have the uh you know to your competitive

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and winning spirit you have the uh award for longest ever

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podcast recording i i i don't know whether to be mortified

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or like seriously embarrassed or uh

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or like think feel like this is some kind of victory

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of some kind i guess you sat here for like

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and not moved for more than three hours really yeah surely

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it's amazing um that's amazing well thank you for thank you so much this has been such an amazing conversation

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