Shadowing Practice: Why Pulling Away from What Is Hard Always Makes It Worse | Pema Chödrön - Learn English Speaking with Video
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flowers bloom and there they are beautiful and then they start to wilt
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and that's just the nature of things don't take it so personally i think that's also don't take it so personally
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I think a lot of us have concerns about aging.
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Yeah.
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It's going to get tough.
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Yeah.
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I'm going to lose friends, physical capacities, mental capacities, potentially.
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What do you see in your experience as the opportunity in aging, if there is one?
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Oh, there definitely is one.
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Definitely.
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Well, first thing is, start cultivating in your life the path of not resisting what's happening.
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And this whole thing of no spin-off.
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Like, I mean, gosh, I have a bad back and I have indigestion problems, but in general I'm in really good shape.
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I mean, I really, I rejoice in that.
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But recently I met somebody who had a bad back and ingestion problems, and it was like the end of the world.
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Now I'm aging and I'm not beautiful anymore and it really hurts and blah,
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blah, blah, like spinning off.
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So let's talk about the...
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This is something else I've been talking about just recently.
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There's a difference between pain and suffering.
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say pain happens is inevitable part of age I mean of life aging definitely
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but suffering is optional and suffering is the spin-off part
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because this this woman
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that I was talking with the all the suffering was not about the back pain
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or the you know the stomach problems pain it was the spin-off
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that was causing her to suffer you know
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because I was thinking gosh I have exactly the same stuff you know so when
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when i was um uh you know like in my 60s i think late 60s maybe early 70s
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or something so i had this friend who was uh dying of emphysema
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but she had had a lot of stuff in her life
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painful stuff including a very painful childhood uh during the second world war in europe And so I said to her,
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oh gosh, you know, I'm getting this pain.
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She's, oh yes, I've had that for years.
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You know, I have that for years.
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And then next time I see her, oh, now I have this stomach thing is, oh, yes, she says, yes, I've had that.
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In other words, there was nothing you could say, you know, bad knees, bad hips, like anything.
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She's, oh, yes, yes.
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But what you knew is that she never said anything about it, right?
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She never said anything about it.
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I mean, you know, she's saying yes, yes, but she isn't saying, oh, yes, oy vey, you know, poor me.
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So one of the, there's this teaching of the slogans, the lojong slogans, where there's many of these different sayings,
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and one of them is, don't wallow in self-pity, you know.
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So I think number one, aging instruction, don't wallow in self-pity, you know, don't spin off about what's happening,
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just stay with what's happening.
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and i know it can be much worse for some than
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others i mean i'm really very aware of all this
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because it's my age group right younger and older uh but but i think this this capacity to
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be fully present with what's happening to you without the spin-off is maybe the best best instruction.
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Then age has a lot to teach you.
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First of all, you're very slowed down, much more slowed down than earlier.
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It just comes along with it.
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You take twice as long to do almost anything, then younger people can get pretty antsy and upset about it,
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but there's nothing you can do about it.
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That can be enormously helpful for the spiritual path and for connecting with the infinite, for slowing down, for noticing.
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Also, most older people have a lot more time, you know, a lot more time for instance than a young mother.
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And so there's a lot more time to just sit and look at the sky,
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just sit and watch the birds or connect more with the fundamental spaciousness and stillness in life.
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I find that that's a great gift.
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And also if you do slow down and you do
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allow yourself to be present and without the spinning off feeling sorry for yourself,
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then I think this ability to notice that oh yeah the the infinite is always here.
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I can connect with it at any time.
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It becomes more and more accessible to And I even think with dementia,
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which is one that everybody fears more than pain, really.
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But I think even with dementia, what I noticed at least in early stages is there's sometimes a lot of access to spaciousness.
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A lot of access, like a lot of sense of joy in the very moment, you know, in the very, very moment.
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Maybe panic and fear when things are uncertain, but just living moment to moment,
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there's some almost childlike delight in what is happening.
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So I don't know, I have no idea you know I could easily get dementia
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I could easily be in a lot more pain than I am and etc.
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I don't find
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that aging it's more like I say well gosh you know is did we knew it was coming you know
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and and so here it is so you it's just flowers bloom
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and there they are beautiful and then they start to wilt and that's just the nature of things
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don't take it so personally I think that's also don't take it so personally you know.
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Anipema, what do you aspire will be the greatest gifts that people will take from your life and teaching?
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My life?
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Yeah.
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What if you were able to articulate like, God, you know, if it all added up to something for other people, I'd love it to add up to this.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah.
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I think I'd like it to add up to being able to expand your capacity to hold uncertainty and insecurity,
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those kind of feelings so that you could relax with your life.
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I think would add up to you know anything that's like lean into
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that world which is difficult rather than pull back so
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that your life can expand more and more more rather than contract more and more.
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Anything that brings down barriers.
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I think if there's anything in my teaching
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that would allow a person in a conversation with another person
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first for instance to be have the motivation not be am I going to win this argument
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or am I am I right here?
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It would be how can this conversation bring down barriers rather than put them up?
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How can it lessen the aggression between us rather than make it more?
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That's people would start asking those kind of questions rather than
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how is it going to work out for me kind of questions.
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More, I suppose you could say universal questions of like what is,
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what am I doing right in terms of like softening up each other's hearts?
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What am I doing right now in terms of making it be communication from the heart rather than clashing?
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What can I, if there's anything in the teachings that would help people to, Trumper Merche used this expression,
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collaborate with reality rather than struggle with it or move against it but collaborate with it. That would be wonderful.
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That would be wonderful.
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And to end, do you think, could we end with some kind of shared blessing?
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Could you offer that to all of the listeners who are joining us?
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Well, can I say this first and then that?
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So one of the things that I aspire, that I, a prayer I say, is that throughout all my lives,
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may I never be separated from my beloved teachers that I've met in this life who have given me so much.
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And that's a prayer that I say through all my lives, may I never be separated from them.
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Because I figure then I'll always connect with these wisdom teachings, you know, because it goes hand in hand.
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It isn't about their personalities.
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It's about what they have taught.
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And then in terms of blessings for others,
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Well, may we all grow in the ability to love one another.
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May we all grow in the ability to catch ourselves when we start spinning out.
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may we all be able to just stay with our experience just as it is may we all remember
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that when we're getting caught up to go look at the sky may we all remember
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that when when we're hurting that we think of other people in the same boat who are also hurting.
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So rather than our hurt be the thing that causes us to go inward and become more afraid,
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that very same suffering is a vehicle for causing us to realize our shared humanity.
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Discover on-demand videos and docu-series.
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Explore a full schedule of daily live classes and become part of an incredible community.
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At Sounds True One, we invite you inward to find your way, your way.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “Why Pulling Away from What Is Hard Always Makes It Worse” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 121 cümle ve 1530 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 11:30 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 133 kelimelik dengeli bir hızla konuşuyor; gölgeleme için rahat bir tempo. Kelimelerin %85’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| gosh | /ɡɑːʃ/ | Allah Allah, anne |
| dementia isim | /dɪˈmɛnʃə/ | demans |
| aspire fiil | /əˈspaɪɚ/ | isteklenmek, heveslenmek |
| wallow fiil | /ˈwɒ.ləʊ/ | debelenmek, ağnamak |
| collaborate fiil | /kəˈlæb.ə.ɹeɪt/ | birlikte çalışmak |
| slogan isim | /ˈsloʊɡən/ | şiar |
| pity isim | /ˈpɪt.i/ | şefkat, merhamet |
| blessing isim | /ˈblɛs.ɪŋ/ | bereket |
| infinite sıfat | /ˈɪnfɪnɪt/ | devasa |
| emphysema isim | /ˌɛmfɪˈsimə/ | amfizem |
| rejoice fiil | /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɔɪs/ | sevinmek |
| soften fiil | /ˈsɑfən/ | yumuşatmak |
| listener isim | /ˈlɪs(ə)nɚ/ | dinleyici |
| aggression isim | /əˈɡɹɛʃən/ | saldırganlık |
| optional sıfat | /ˈɑp.ʃə.nəl/ | ihtiyari, isteğe bağlı |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| slow down fiil | yavaşlamak |
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | I've had · I've met · have taught |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | somebody who had · friend who was · world which is |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | be separated |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, I'm, I've gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 27 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, dementia /dɪˈmɛnʃə/, spaciousness /ˈspeɪ.ʃəs.nəs/, instruction /ɪnˈstɹʌkʃən/, aggression /əˈɡɹɛʃən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: collaborate /kəˈlæb.ə.ɹeɪt/, emphysema /ˌɛmfɪˈsimə/, indigestion /ˌɪn.dɪˈd͡ʒɛs.t͡ʃən/, articulate /ɑːɹˈtɪk.jə.leɪt/, uncertainty /ʌnˈsɜːtənti/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: inward /ˈɪnwəd/, wallow /ˈwɒ.ləʊ/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: spaciousness /ˈspeɪ.ʃəs.nəs/, slogan /ˈsloʊɡən/, bloom /blum/, blessing /ˈblɛs.ɪŋ/, stillness /ˈstɪlnəs/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: collaborate /kəˈlæb.ə.ɹeɪt/, barrier /ˈbæɹi.ə/, clash /ˈklæʃ/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- Normal hızda cümle cümle tekrar edin; ritminiz konuşmacıyla aynı olana kadar her cümleyi yineleyin.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; gosh, dementia, aspire gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.