Shadowing Practice: It Hurts That My Heart Is Getting Bigger | Pema Chödrön - Learn English Speaking with Video
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So compassion hurts.
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I've always thought that compassion is actually sounds kind of uh sweet
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and so forth but actually it's very very painful
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because it means being so empathetic with with others that you
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that you can stand in their shoes to the degree that that you're willing to do anything to help them, you know.
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Now, I want to ask you a question, Anipema, because I've noticed this in my own experience, and I hear this a lot from people.
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Come closer to that queasy feeling.
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Okay, I'm doing it more and more.
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I'm tender more and more of the time I don't have all the same defenses
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that I used to have all the same armoring
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and quite honestly I'm tender
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and on the verge of tears a lot I feel a
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lot more I feel uncomfortable a lot of the time it
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almost feels like something's not quite going in the right direction and I vulnerable to the point of,
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well, say more, intense, frequent situation of raw, tender vulnerability.
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It's like, it seems like it's that way a lot and it's very intense.
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Like, oh, wow, you're feeling a lot.
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You're taking in a lot.
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You've become so porous.
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I'm talking to myself here, you know, and you feel so much of this pain and exquisite beauty and everything.
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And in a way, it seemed more, quote -unquote, functional in a certain way before doing all of this meditation.
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Well, you see, I'm not hearing that there's anything wrong there.
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What you're describing sounds like the only, say, if you were a meditation student or something,
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the only thing I would say is extend tenderness towards whatever resistance there is to feeling those things you know
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that one can live from that place definitely one can live from
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that place and with a feeling of joy
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and like let's let's maybe I'm digressing a little bit let's just talk about the word compassion
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so compassion hurts I've always thought that compassion is actually sounds kind of sweet
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and sure forth but actually it's very very painful
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because it means being so empathetic with with others that you
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that you can stand in their shoes to the degree
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that you're you're willing to do anything to to help them you know
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and um but as i've often said it's not a relationship up down relationship
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but a relationship with equals so my feeling about compassion is even though it hurts
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which it definitely does
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and this goes along with your question nevertheless it's what brings
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life meaning it's what brings life a sense the feeling of
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interconnectedness love comes along with it you know it's like saying it hurts
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that my heart is getting bigger you know
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so it's worth hurting you know for your heart to get bigger i would say you could say it hurts
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that mine that i have a more or open mind.
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It was more comfortable to have fixed opinions and be some kind of fundamentalist.
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That was a lot more comfortable, really.
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But actually the anxiety increases, this underlying sense of something being wrong,
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of being unhappy, to being isolated and separate
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and feeling all those very miserable feelings
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that we as human beings feel a lot you know i don't think
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that compassion or this rawness or anything is like
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that i think it's like in
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that place you you become more in love with the world
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or love in love with people but it isn't
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that it's i don't know it's not that it's comfortable it's
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that it's interconnected and that there has a lot of love in your heart and your mind are expanding.
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So for me personally, and I think this must be a popular idea
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because it seems that people like to hear it from, you know, hear about it.
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I feel like that's, I will die with no regrets because I'm so much, my heart and mind are so much,
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have expanded so much from the time that I was a young person.
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I wanted to ask you about that, this notion of dying without regret.
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Yeah.
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Because…
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you know i'm sure in your life like in all of our lives there are things
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that we wished we had done differently in xyz situation
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and you know i'm curious how you've made peace with those
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experiences personally oh yeah that's that's a very good question
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so i do have some real regrets you know i mean
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in terms of as you say wishing i had done things differently
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but um And so it's very much like the 12 steps, you know.
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I mean, really, the similarity is very strong.
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That you make a fearless inventory of all the things that you regret or wish you hadn't done.
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And they're right out in the open.
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They're not hidden.
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And then the next step is that you share that with somebody.
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So that it's, first it's not hidden from you
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and then you're not embarrassed or ashamed to have somebody else hear about it.
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So, you know, that's really the approach.
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In the monastic tradition,
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we have this twice a month ceremony where you do a fearless inventory of the last two weeks
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or you could go back and back and back.
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And what it said is if you share, if you bring it out, if it's in the light, you can dwell at peace.
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But if it's hidden and it's a secret and from yourself first, and then you know about it, but you keep it secret from others,
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you do not so dwell.
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You know, if acknowledged, you can lay it aside and dwell at peace.
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And if not acknowledged, I cannot so dwell.
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So that's certainly how I've worked with it.
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But getting back to the other question, it doesn't mean that when the memory comes up there isn't this little feeling.
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It means that it doesn't, well, here's another thing.
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It doesn't have any spin -off.
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So I've been talking about this quite a lot lately, and it goes along with all the questions you've been asking.
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You can feel what you feel as a direct, just as if you put your hand,
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I used this image just the other day.
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If you put your finger on the burner and it hurt, so that's the analogy for any kind of pain.
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So that's it.
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It hurts, but it doesn't have any spin -off.
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It doesn't have a storyline, the ripples don't go out and out and out and out.
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You stay with the tenderness and receptivity to the kind of like origin of it all, you know?
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It's very helpful.
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This word spinoff is very helpful because, you know, the judgment and all of that is all spinoff.
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I call it add -ons too, which comes from Sharon Salzberg yeah but um so so that
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that of course is a practice and something
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that we get better at through meditation also
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but uh i think it's really helpful that it's it pain is pain
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and pleasure is pleasure you know neutral is neutral and stuff
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but but it can be just
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that simple the the expression just as it is you know without the spin -off without the spin -off
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so what happens in actual fact is you do start spinning off you know
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when something's really intense like uh betrayal say you know it's
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very hard to not the mind just will keep coming back keep coming back
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but then in some as gently and everything
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and non -judgmentally as you can you just keep coming back to the the the what the origin
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or something like that right discover on -demand videos
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At Sounds True One, we invite you inward to find your way, your way.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 112 cümle ve 1322 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 9:07 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 145 kelimelik dengeli bir hızla konuşuyor; gölgeleme için rahat bir tempo. Kelimelerin %84’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| compassion isim | /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ | şefkat |
| spin fiil | /spɪn/ | dolanmak, dönmek |
| regret fiil | /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/ | pişman olmak |
| dwell fiil | /dwɛl/ | oturmak, ikamet etmek |
| tender sıfat | /ˈtɛn.dɚ/ | narin |
| neutral sıfat | /ˈnuː.tɹəl/ | nötr, yansız |
| shoe isim | /ˈʃu/ | kundura, ayakkabı |
| inventory isim | /ˈɪn.vən.tɹi/ | envanter |
| fearless sıfat | /ˈfɪɹləs/ | korkusuz, yılmaz |
| finger isim | /ˈfɪŋɡɚ/ | parmak |
| anxiety isim | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | kaygı, endişe |
| curious sıfat | /ˈkjʊɹ.i.əs/ | meraklı |
| ceremony isim | /ˈsɛɹ.əˌmoʊ.ni/ | seremoni, ayin |
| discover fiil | /dɪˈskʌvə/ | keşfetmek |
| tear fiil | /tɛɹ/ | kırmak |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| go out fiil | çıkmak |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı I'm, you're, I've gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 39 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/, empathetic /ˌɛmpəˈθɛtɪk/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, meditation /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/, shoe /ˈʃu/, notion /ˈnoʊʃən/, ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, ceremony /ˈsɛɹ.əˌmoʊ.ni/, nevertheless /ˌnɛvɚðəˈlɛs/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- Normal hızda cümle cümle tekrar edin; ritminiz konuşmacıyla aynı olana kadar her cümleyi yineleyin.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; compassion, spin, regret gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.