Shadowing Practice: Why Religious Tools Don't Work For Women - Learn English Speaking with Video
Bir pratik modu seçin
Her mod tam ekran bir pratik odası açar.
169 cümleler
Cümleler çok kısa veya çok uzun ise, ayarlamak için Düzenle'ye tıklayın.
1
One time when my four kids were little, I was at my parents' house for Christmas,
2
and my mom had us do an activity where we wrote down a gift
3
that we would like to give to Jesus in the form of an act of service for someone else
4
or a sacrifice that we would make in his name.
5
This is a very common activity for Christian families, and it's supposed to be a tender, peaceful experience.
6
So I was surprised that I found myself inexplicably filled with rage.
7
I stared at the paper where I was supposed to be writing down my special self -sacrifice and I started bawling.
8
I had given and given and given and given and I had nothing left to give and I felt terrible about it.
9
Interestingly, I've heard from women in other religious traditions share similar feelings.
10
Let's talk about why.
11
Confucianism, Buddhism, and Christianity are three of the largest and most influential religious traditions in the world.
12
What did their founders teach?
13
Confucius was born in 6th century BCE China during a time of chaos.
14
Local warlords were constantly battling for power.
15
Confucius offered a path back to harmony.
16
Know your place, serve your community.
17
Siddhartha Gautama, better known as the Buddha, was born into wealth and privilege in India in the 6th or 5th century BCE.
18
He was devastated when he learned about the suffering in the world.
19
He taught that suffering comes from attachment to the ego.
20
His message was, you are not your title, your wealth, or your ego.
21
Let it go.
22
Jesus of Nazareth lived in a time where rigid religious rules had overtaken compassion.
23
His was a world of power plays, political violence, and deep division.
24
Christ's call was for more radical love.
25
Lose your life in order to find it.
26
Give everything away.
27
Turn the other cheek.
28
Love your enemies.
29
These were all powerful, transformative ideas.
30
But do these teachings benefit everyone equally?
31
Confucius, Buddha, and Christ all taught humility, sacrifice, and selflessness.
32
And those teachings were exactly what the founders and subsequent leaders of those religions needed.
33
But those founders and subsequent leaders were all men.
34
Their teachings were made by men and for men.
35
In Confucianism, women were expected to obey their fathers, then their husbands, then their sons.
36
Confucius never imagined a woman as a moral agent in her own right.
37
His vision of harmony depended on women's subordination.
38
The Buddha's path to enlightenment meant leaving his family, something spiritual men were praised for.
39
But what would happen if a mother left her children to pursue enlightenment?
40
That would rarely ever be possible, and if it were, she would be called selfish and unnatural.
41
And women were excluded from Buddhist monastic life for centuries.
42
Christianity teaches that
43
Eve sinned by seeking knowledge that women should submit to their husbands and that women should not be leaders.
44
For thousands of years, women all across the world have been conditioned to disappear,
45
to defer, to serve, and to be small.
46
So when women are handed the spiritual tools of further selflessness, sacrifice, and humility, those tools don't liberate us.
47
They erase us.
48
Author Elizabeth Gilbert recently gave a talk about this at the
49
Archangel Summit about the different spiritual needs of typical men and typical women.
50
She said that humanity's goal is to move from the profane to the divine.
51
But those who are socialized to be masculine
52
and those who are socialized to be feminine require different roads to get
53
there the profane masculine is putting the wants
54
and needs of the self above the good of the whole
55
it's conquering hoarding wealth being power hungry i am the king greedy selfish
56
and violent it's i'm going to take whatever i want to just
57
because i can i'm going to take over this country
58
or have sex with this woman or level this forest
59
because i want to the divine masculine is putting other people's needs above our own it's kindness forgiveness selflessness
60
and compassion it's i could hoard resources
61
but i choose to share i could have power
62
but i refuse it i look out for the whole instead of just myself the profane feminine over gives,
63
over serves, is overly selfless, is used and abused.
64
It's I exist to give and serve.
65
In the face of bad behavior, I will stay silent and I will continue to please.
66
I will not ruffle any feathers or make anyone upset.
67
I look out for the whole at the expense of myself.
68
Everyone else's needs are prioritized above my own.
69
It's accommodating others' desires even when resentment is silently oozing out of my eyeballs.
70
This was me at the Christmas party
71
and I'll bet it's a lot of women watching right now and maybe a lot of our mothers.
72
The divine feminine is the protector.
73
It's standing up in the face of injustice.
74
It's I will not allow oppression and abuse.
75
It's holy power, taking up space, speaking up, protecting against wrongdoing, ensuring equity not only for others,
76
but also for the self.
77
It's honoring and protecting our own desires rest, and goals.
78
So the divine feminine starts with putting itself in the center
79
and then it expands to a circle of protection for everything
80
that is good and holy and sacred and must not be violated by the profane masculine getting out of hand, right?
81
Not to allow it, not to enable it, not to be nicer, not to be sweeter, not to be understanding, not to be like,
82
well he never had a dad himself so he doesn't know.
83
None of that.
84
To just be like, oh no, oh no. No, no, no, no, no. That's gone too far.
85
In sum, in order for the masculine to move from the degraded to the divine, it must give up the self.
86
In order for the feminine to move from the degraded to the divine, it must build the self.
87
Unfortunately for women, nearly all major religious traditions were created for the needs of men, taught by men to men using the words of men.
88
Historically, since religions were speaking exclusively to men, only using masculine tools made sense.
89
But for the past few centuries, religions have considered themselves universal, covering the needs of both masculine and feminine.
90
But there's been no change in doctrines or practices to accommodate or speak to women.
91
Women have been exclusively given the tools of the divine masculine as if they were the only spiritual tools.
92
Women have evolved with empathy tools hardwired into our bodies.
93
Women tuning in to the cries of their newborn babies is an evolutionary necessity for the survival of our species.
94
It's built in.
95
So when tuning in to the needs of others is further and further and further pushed on us, we just dissolve.
96
We give ourselves so completely that we can disappear.
97
It's not the toolkit we need.
98
And it's why religious tools as they exist now don't work for women.
99
They were never meant for us.
100
Many women are burnt out from a lifetime of service.
101
And then they can go looking for new age spiritual teachings that tell them that what they need is ego death.
102
But women have spent their whole lives losing their ego.
103
They need to build their ego.
104
Men are conditioned to grow their ego and they need tools to lose it.
105
Britt Hartley from No Nonsense Spirituality has some really important insights on this.
106
Let's hear from her.
107
Women, stop going to male spiritual leaders and gurus to dissolve your ego.
108
These men who have been able to build a strong sense of ego, that they are a person and they take that process for granted,
109
now go into these spiritual spaces to help others experience ego dissolution
110
or ego death in order to give other men the flexibility to not be so ego -driven, which actually really can be progress.
111
But with most women who were raised in patriarchy, you've already had to kind of repress and negotiate your own needs in order to accommodate others.
112
These tools are for people, mostly men, who have already developed and overdeveloped their own ego.
113
So for most of the female clients that I work with who have been raised in patriarchy,
114
the most spiritual thing that you can do is to build your ego, take up space, build your voice, do a project.
115
You're in a place of ego overdevelopment and you are in a place of ego underdevelopment.
116
And so the tools and the path of spirituality will look different.
117
And Oceana Lane also has some really interesting thoughts on this subject.
118
Let's hear what she has to say.
119
I wish I had known this in my late teens,
120
early 20s, which was when I started obsessively going to male gurus to help dissolve my ego and it felt natural.
121
Do you know why?
122
Because my ego was already very fragile because I'm a female and I grew up in a dysfunctional family.
123
So having a male try to break me down just felt really familiar.
124
It took me a long, long time to learn this lesson.
125
Zen Buddhist meditation centers, boyfriends who acted like gurus and they all speak with such authority, it's hard not to believe.
126
Long, grueling meditation retreats where I had to be silent and listen to a man talk while I dissolved into the ether, becoming nothing.
127
My ego was the enemy, and these guys had it all figured out.
128
And I was really good at it.
129
Really, really good at just disappearing, becoming selfless.
130
Almost like I just had like a natural knack for it, you know?
131
These spiritual tools not only don't help women, they barricade her from spiritual progress.
132
Religious tools outlaw the exact things the feminine needs in order to find balance, building and prioritizing the self.
133
In order to even start moving towards balance, women must first hurdle over all of the spiritual tools that we've been given.
134
And this concept applies to more than just religious teachings.
135
The message of most marriage books is similarly to lose the self.
136
According to Goodreads, the most popular marriage books are The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller,
137
Love and Respect by Emerson Egerichs, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, and The Seven Principles to Make Marriage Work by John Gottman.
138
These books primarily teach the tools of compassion, forgiveness, empathy, compromise, and kindness.
139
These are great tools.
140
These are essential tools and I promote them wholeheartedly.
141
But I will say that for me personally, those were tools that I already had and that I overused in my marriage.
142
The skills that I needed to develop were to set boundaries and speak up for myself.
143
My friend
144
and co -writer Celeste Davis taught the Seven Principles to Make Marriage Work course for the Gottman Institute for several years.
145
She said that with every passing class, she wished more and more that she could divide the class up
146
and teach the wives separately from the husbands instead of teaching all the marriage tools as if they applied universally.
147
When she taught that compromise and compassion were the foundations of a good marriage, she could see that those were exactly the tools
148
that the husbands needed because they hadn't been taught those skills as they were growing up as boys.
149
She saw how during role plays and in discussions, the men struggled to stop problem solving and start really listening,
150
to compromise, to be compassionate when they were upset, to give up some autonomy for the good of the partnership.
151
But the women didn't need those tools.
152
They had been doing too much compromise, too little prioritizing their own needs, and they were drowning in resentment,
153
they needed to be taught to start paying attention to that resentment, to ask themselves what they really wanted,
154
not just what would keep the peace for everybody else.
155
They needed permission to make room for their desires, even when it meant disappointing their spouse.
156
They needed to be given the tools to be okay in the midst of upsetting someone.
157
In religion and in relationships, women have already been sacrificing.
158
We've already been surrendering.
159
We've already been told our whole lives to think of others first and to put ourselves last.
160
What women need is the opposite message.
161
Your life matters.
162
Your voice matters.
163
Your body, your boundaries, your dreams, they matter.
164
The spiritual work of women is not to dissolve the self it's to recover it to rebuild what has been taken
165
thanks for watching please share this video with the women in your life share it with your mom, your sisters, your girlfriends and
166
if you're like me share these ideas with the younger version of yourself who needed this framework
167
but hadn't learned it yet and of course like and subscribe if you haven't already thank you so much
168
We'll be right back.
169
I'll see you next time.
Uygulamayı İndir
Akıcı konuşmak için ihtiyacınız olan her şey
AI TelaffuzHer cümleyi puanla
IPA AlıştırmasıHer sesi ustalaştır
Kelime BilgisiKelime bankanızı oluşturun
Kelime OyunuOynarken öğrenin
Aynı Kanal
FOR YOU
Video Öner
C12
96 cümleler
Taoist Wisdom For Inner Peace
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
256 cümleler
Why Didn't Hinduism Spread Beyond India and South-East Asia?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
149 cümleler
Why Be Catholic and Not Just Christian?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
131 cümleler
Why Have We Become So Mean?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
140 cümleler
Stop Playing Small. Go All In.
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C143 cümleler
Are we too Materialistic?
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
220 cümleler
The Modern World Is Designed to Destroy You | Naval Ravikant
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
44 cümleler
4 Key Lessons from Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
79 cümleler
HISTORY OF IDEAS - Loneliness
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
62 cümleler
Why ‘turning the other cheek’ is fundamentally misunderstood | Bishop Robert Barron
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C13
54 cümleler
Who decides what is socially “normal”? | Christine Emba
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B28
249 cümleler
The Jesus Problem
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu konuşma dersi “Why Religious Tools Don't Work For Women” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: tools, ego, spiritual, marriage. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 169 cümle ve 2175 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 14:55 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 146 kelimelik dengeli bir hızla konuşuyor; gölgeleme için rahat bir tempo. Kelimelerin yalnızca %81’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığı zorlayıcı.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| spiritual sıfat | /ˈspɪɹɪt͡ʃuəl/ | spiritüel, tinsel |
| masculine sıfat | /ˈmæskjələn/ | eril |
| divine sıfat | /dɪˈvaɪn/ | ilahi |
| feminine sıfat | /ˈfɛmɪnɪn/ | dişil |
| sacrifice isim | /ˈsæk.ɹɪ.faɪs/ | kurban, kurbanlık |
| compromise isim | /ˈkɑmpɹəˌmaɪz/ | ödün, taviz |
| compassion isim | /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ | şefkat |
| founder isim | /ˈfaʊ̯n.dəː/ | kurucu |
| disappear fiil | /dɪsəˈpɪɹ/ | gözden kaybolmak, yok olmak |
| accommodate fiil | /əˈkɑməˌdeɪt/ | uyum sağlamak, düzenlemek |
| resentment isim | /ɹɪˈzɛnt.mənt/ | dargınlık, burukluk |
| silent sıfat | /ˈsaɪ̯lənt/ | sessiz |
| suffer fiil | /ˈsʌfɚ/ | çekmek, acı çekmek |
| subsequent sıfat | /ˈsʌbsɪkwənt/ | takip eden, izleyen |
| sacred sıfat | /ˈseɪkɹɪd/ | kutsal, mukaddes |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| figure out fiil | açığa çıkarmak |
| grow up fiil | büyümek, yetişmek |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- It's I exist to give and serve.
- Everyone else's needs are prioritized above my own.
- It's I will not allow oppression and abuse.
- It's not the toolkit we need.
- Let's hear what she has to say.
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — önceden başlayıp hâlâ süren bir eylem | have already been sacrificing · We've already been surrendering |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | I've heard · have been conditioned · have considered |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | was born · were made · were expected |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | those who are · men who have · women who were |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, I'm, we've gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 21 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, feather /ˈfɛðə/, ether /ˈi.θɚ/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, meditation /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/, partnership /ˈpɑɹtnɚʃɪp/, influential /ɪnflʊˈɛnʃəl/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: accommodate /əˈkɑməˌdeɪt/, exclusively /ɪkˈskluːsɪvli/, enlightenment /ɪnˈlaɪtənmənt/, humility /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/, spirituality /ˌspɪɹ.ə.t͡ʃuˈæl.ə.tɪ/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: subsequent /ˈsʌbsɪkwənt/, equally /ˈiːkwəli/, equity /ˈɛk.wɪ.ti/, framework /ˈfɹeɪm.wɜːk/, warlord /ˈwɔɹlɔɹd/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: spiritual /ˈspɪɹɪt͡ʃuəl/, tune /tjuːn/, humility /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/, spirituality /ˌspɪɹ.ə.t͡ʃuˈæl.ə.tɪ/, primarily /ˈpɹaɪ.mə.ɹə.li/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: masculine /ˈmæskjələn/, sacrifice /ˈsæk.ɹɪ.faɪs/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, spirituality /ˌspɪɹ.ə.t͡ʃuˈæl.ə.tɪ/, expand /ɪkˈspænd/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- Normal hızda cümle cümle tekrar edin; ritminiz konuşmacıyla aynı olana kadar her cümleyi yineleyin.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; spiritual, masculine, divine gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.