跟读练习: 20 Signs You're Emotionally Mature - 通过视频学习英语口语
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20 Signs That You Are Emotionally Mature
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You realise that most of the bad behaviour of other people really comes down to fear and anxiety,
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rather than, as it's generally easier to presume, nastiness or idiocy.
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You loosen your hold on self-righteousness and stop thinking of the world as populated by either monsters or fools.
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– it makes things less black and white at first, but in time, a great deal more interesting.
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You learn that what's in your head can't automatically be understood by other people.
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You realise that, unfortunately, you're going to have to articulate your intentions
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and feelings with the use of words –
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and can't fairly blame other people for not getting what you mean until you've spoken calmly and clearly.
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You learn that, remarkably, you do sometimes get things wrong.
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With huge courage, you take your first faltering steps towards, once in a while, apologising.
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You learn to be confident, not by realising that you're great, but by learning that everyone else is just as stupid,
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scared and lost as you are.
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We're all making it up as we go along.
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And that's fine.
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You You forgive your parents because you realise that they didn't put you on this earth in order to insult you.
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They were just painfully out of their depth and struggling with demons of their own.
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Anger turns, at points, to pity and compassion.
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You learn the enormous influence of so-called small things on mood – bedtimes, blood sugar and alcohol levels,
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degrees of background stress and so on.
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And as a result, you learn never to bring up an important contentious issue with a loved one until everyone is well rested, no one is drunk, you've had some food,
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nothing else is alarming you and you're not rushing to catch a train.
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You give up sulking.
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If someone hurts you, you don't store up the hatred and the hurt for days.
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You remember we'll all be dead soon.
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You don't expect others to know what's wrong.
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You tell them straight and if they get it, you forgive them.
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And if they don't, in a different way, you forgive them too.
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You cease to believe in perfection in pretty much every area.
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There aren't any perfect people, perfect jobs or perfect lives.
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Instead, you pivot towards an appreciation of what is, to use the psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott's exemplary phrase, good enough.
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You realise that many things in your life are at once quite frustrating and yet, in many ways, eminently good enough.
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You learn the virtues of being a little more pessimistic about how things will turn out
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and as a result emerge as a calmer, more patient and more forgiving soul.
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You lose some of your idealism and become a far less maddening person.
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You learn to see that everyone's weaknesses of character are linked to counterbalancing strengths.
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Rather than isolating their weaknesses, you look at the whole picture.
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Yes, someone is rather pedantic, but they're also beautifully precise and a rock at times of turmoil.
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Yes, someone is a bit messy, but at the same time brilliantly creative and very visionary.
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You realise, truly realise, that perfect people don't exist and that every strength will be tagged to a weakness.
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You fall in love a bit less easily.
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It's difficult in a way.
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When you were less mature, you could develop a crush in an instant.
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Now, you're poignantly aware that everyone, however externally charming or accomplished, would be a bit of a pain from close up.
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You develop loyalty to what you already have.
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You learn that you are, rather surprisingly, quite a difficult person to live with.
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You shared some of your earlier sentimentality towards yourself.
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You go into friendships and relationships offering others kindly warnings of how and when you might prove a challenge.
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You learn to forgive yourself for your errors and foolishness.
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You realise the unfruitful self-absorption involved in simply flogging yourself for past mistakes.
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You become more of a friend to yourself.
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Of course you're an idiot, but you're still a lovable one, as we all are.
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You learn that part of what maturity involves is making peace with the stubbornly childlike bits of you that will always remain.
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You cease trying to be a great grown up at every occasion.
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You accept that we all have our regressive moments, and when the inner two-year-old you raises its head,
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you greet them generously and give them the attention they need.
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You cease to put too much hope in grand plans for the kind of happiness you expect could last for years.
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You start to celebrate the little things that go well.
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You realise that Satisfaction comes in increments of minutes.
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You're delighted if one day passes by without too much bother.
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You take a greater interest in flowers and in the evening sky.
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You develop a taste for small pleasures.
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What people in general think of you ceases to be such a concern.
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You realise that the minds of others are muddled places
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and you don't try so hard to polish your image in everyone else's eyes.
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What counts is that you and one or two others are okay with you being you.
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You give up on fame and start to rely on love.
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You get better at hearing feedback.
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Rather than assuming that anyone who criticises you is either trying to humiliate you or is making a mistake,
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you accept that maybe it would be an idea to take a few things on board.
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You start to see that you can listen to a criticism and survive it, without having to put on your armour and deny that there was ever a problem.
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You realise the extent to which you tend to live, day by day, in too great a proximity to certain of your problems and issues.
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You remember more and more that you need to get out and get a perspective on the things that pain you.
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You take more walks in nature.
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You might get a pet – they don't fret like we do –
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and you appreciate the distant galaxies above us in the night sky.
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You recognise how your distinctive past colours your response to events, and learn to compensate for the distortions that can result.
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You accept that because of how your childhood went, you have a predisposition to exaggerate in certain areas.
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You become suspicious of your own first impulses around particular topics.
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You realise, sometimes, not to go with your first feelings.
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When you start a friendship, you realise that other people don't principally want to know your good news, so much as gain an insight into what troubles and worries you,
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so that they can, in turn, feel less lonely with the pains of their own hearts.
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You become a better friend because you see that what friendship is really about is a sharing of vulnerability.
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to more clearly explain our moods.
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Click the link on screen now to find out more.
背景与上下文
在这段视频中，演讲者探讨了情感成熟的二十个标志，强调了人们在面对他人的不良行为时，应当如何将其归结为恐惧和焦虑，而非简单的恶意或愚蠢。演讲者通过个人经验，分享了与他人沟通、理解自我的重要性，以及在生活中如何培养同情心与宽恕的能力。这段对话不仅适合想要提升英语口语能力的学习者，也让人深思如何在成长中成为更好的自己。
日常沟通中的五个重要短语
- 对他人的行为保持宽容： "人的行为往往源于恐惧与焦虑。"
- 清晰表达自己的意图： "你需要用语言清晰地表达自己的感受。"
- 学会道歉： "以巨大的勇气，勇敢地迈出道歉的第一步。"
- 接受不完美： "没有完美的人与生活，学会欣赏‘足够好’。"
- 理解他人的弱点与优点： "每个人的弱点都与力量相伴随。"
逐步跟读指南
为了更好地理解和掌握视频中的内容，以下是一些逐步的英语影子跟读建议，可以帮助学习者提高口语能力，适合在雅思口语练习中使用：
- 首先，从视频开始的几秒钟内播放短句，然后暂停，尝试模仿说话者的语调和语速。
- 逐句反复练习，确保每个句子的发音和连贯性都做到位，可以利用看YouTube学英语的资源来辅助。
- 记录自己的声音，回听时注意与原音的差异，寻找可以改进的地方。
- 在练习中，特别注意情感的表达与语气的变化，尝试融入个人理解，让语言更加自然。
- 每天坚持进行英语影子跟读，推荐使用一些可以跟读的在线影子跟读网站，帮助自己更快进步。
通过这些回顾与练习，学习者能够在情感表达与语言流利度上有所提升，从而在现实生活中的沟通中更加自如。
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。