跟读练习: Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell? - 通过视频学习英语口语

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On the face of it, not liking someone during the dating game is everyone's great prerogative.

Who could possibly question our tastes if we complained on leaving a restaurant

or museum that we found them just too loud or too stupid, too weak or too supernaturally inclined?

If we said we didn't like their chin or that there was something a bit weird around their hips?

It's surely for each one of us to decide according to the movements of our hearts

and on that basis to gain appropriate sympathy for repeatedly not finding someone worthy of our time and our desire.

However, after we've cycled through a certain number of candidates, after we've returned home from our 20th or 87th fruitless date,

after we've yet again discovered, age 42 or 59, that the person across the table from us wasn't quite right,

we may be encouraged to ask ourselves a few pointed questions.

in order to judge whether the problem might truly lie with them

or whether it might not perhaps have something to do with us.

Though innumerable people will clearly be objectively flawed in a variety of ways, there are cases where the wrongness we detect may primarily speak

of a psychological dynamic in us – a bias towards rejecting people not because they are unsuitable per se,

but because, just out of reach of our day-to-day consciousness, proximity to anyone, however accomplished and viable they might be,

is associated with danger and intrusion.

Although we may say in extremely moving tones that we're really interested in finding love,

it may be that the prospect of actually finding it is not in fact at all simple, that it may reignite a fear,

probably related to disappointments or perverse loyalties formed in childhood, of what could happen if it really came along.

Way back, our attachment to our earliest caregivers may have taught us that loving people is not, in fact, either safe or advisable.

We may have learnt, in the vagaries of our family lives, that trusting people was likely to be followed by disappointment.

That those who know us from up close are prone to betray us catastrophically.

That making ourselves vulnerable will invite abuse.

We may not be aware, as we play the dating game, that we're carrying such complex emotional legacies.

we may sincerely believe that we crave love above all else and would embrace it open-heartedly if it ever came along.

And yet a part of us may still somewhere in the background be working overtime to ensure

that every single new candidate that the apps

or our friends have put forward is ruthlessly examined and rejected before they ever come close to threatening our isolation.

We may publicly be committed to a relationship while privately wedded to the only state we associate with safety – solitude.

How then might we judge the difference?

How to know whether we are rejecting people out of a pathological wish to stay alone, born out of childhood wounds,

or else rejecting them because they suffer from a maddening conversational habit or have a weird chin?

There is one acute question we might raise with ourselves to tell the difference.

If this prospective partner were a bit less keen, a bit less attentive, a bit less enthusiastic about seeing us again,

might we like them more?

Might distance improve their prospects in our eyes?

If the question makes little sense, if we can't remotely imagine why any of this would make a difference, if there's nothing at all about them not messaging us for days

that would alter the unbudgeable problem with their chin or their laugh, then the problem may on balance properly lie with them.

If, however, we recognise, pretty much as soon as the question is asked,

that yes, strangely somehow it does appear that we would like them rather more if they texted less often, that we would make more of an effort if they were busier,

that we'd even start to desire and long for them if we didn't pass muster in their eyes, then what we may be dealing with is not another flawed candidate,

so much as the activation of a temperamental attachment mechanism formed by our experiences in untrustworthy,

claustrophobic or neglectful childhoods.

It's a major achievement when we've understood enough about our pasts to finally cease to feel revulsion

or suspicion around those who threaten us with love.

When we can take kindness at face value, when we don't seek to annihilate or punish those who want to be sympathetic towards us,

it is a seismic moment when we can bear to reflect

that the real problem may lie not

so much with them for liking us as with our pasts for not allowing us to tolerate another's curiosity and goodness.

Thank you.

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本课的词汇与口语要点

这节 C1 级别的口语课以视频“Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell?”为素材。视频中反复出现的词有：rejecting, chin, childhood, ourselves, candidate。这段视频共有 49 个句子、804 个单词可供跟读。讲话部分时长为 5:04。说话人语速自然，每分钟约 159 个词，接近日常对话。 82% 的单词属于英语最常用的 3,000 词，其余的词建议在练习前先学一下。

视频中的重点词汇

视频中最难的 15 个单词，附发音和释义：

单词	发音	释义
chin 名词	/ˈt͡ʃɪn/	下巴, 頷 /颔
threaten 动词	/ˈθɹɛt.n̩/	威脅 /威胁, 恐嚇 /恐吓
disappointment 名词	/ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/	失望
annihilate 动词	/əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/	殲滅 /歼灭, 毁灭
attentive 形容词	/əˈtɛntɪv/	注意的, 細心的 /细心的
betray 动词	/bɪˈtɹeɪ/	背叛, 出賣 /出卖
conversational 形容词	/ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/	會話式的 /会话式的
fruitless 形容词	/ˈfɹuːtləs/	枉然
ruthlessly 副词	/ˈɹuːθ.ləs.li/	殘忍地 /残忍地, 無情地 /无情地
solitude 名词	/ˈsɑlɪˌtud/	孤寂, 孤獨 /孤独
seismic 形容词	/ˈsaɪzmɪk/	地震的
wed 动词	/ˈwɛd/	結婚 /结婚
altar 名词	/ˈɔl.tɚ/	祭壇 /祭坛, 聖壇 /圣坛
sympathetic 形容词	/ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/	同情的
activation 名词	/ˌæktəˈveɪʃən/	激活

视频中出现的短语动词

单词	释义
come along 动词	陪伴, 陪同
put forward 动词	提出

视频中的语法

说话人最常用的结构，并附上视频中的原话：

结构	视频中的用法
被动语态 be + 过去分词 — 强调发生了什么，而不是谁做的	may be encouraged · be objectively flawed · is associated
现在完成时 have/has + 过去分词 — 过去发生但与现在仍有关联的事	we've cycled · have put · we've understood
定语从句 who / which + 从句 — 补充说明人或事物	those who know · those who threaten · those who want

需要注意的发音

说话人用了 12 次缩略和弱读形式，例如 we've, didn't, we're。请按听到的简短形式来说。

“th” 音: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, ruthlessly /ˈɹuːθ.ləs.li/, untrustworthy /ˌʌnˈtɹʌstˌwɜː(ɹ)ði/, sympathetic /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/
“sh” 和 “zh” 音: conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, intrusion /ɪnˈtɹuːʒən/, revulsion /ɹɪˈvʌlʃən/, activation /ˌæktəˈveɪʃən/, punish /ˈpʌnɪʃ/
长单词——注意重音位置: disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, annihilate /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/, conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, innumerable /ɪˈnuːməɹ.əbəl/, objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/

中文母语者容易读错的音：

/v/ — 不要读成 /w/，上齿轻触下唇: attentive /əˈtɛntɪv/, caregiver /ˈkɛɹɡɪvɚ/, conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/, perverse /pɚˈvɝs/
词尾辅音 — 要读清楚，后面不要加元音: flawed /flɔːd/, attachment /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, annihilate /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/, attentive /əˈtɛntɪv/
/r/ 和 /l/ 的区别: conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, fruitless /ˈfɹuːtləs/, heartedly /ˈhɑːɹ.təd.li/, innumerable /ɪˈnuːməɹ.əbəl/, revulsion /ɹɪˈvʌlʃən/

如何用这段视频练习

先完整听一遍视频，不要开口，记下不认识的单词。
先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟读，熟练之后再回到正常速度。
录下自己的声音并与原声对比，特别注意 chin, threaten, disappointment 这类单词。

什么是跟读法？

跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。

影子跟读法: 阅读完整分步指南 →

跟读练习: Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell? - 通过视频学习英语口语

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