Shadowing Practice: Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell? - Learn English Speaking with Video
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1
On the face of it, not liking someone during the dating game is everyone's great prerogative.
En apariencia, que alguien no te guste durante el proceso de citas es un derecho que todos tienen plena libertad.
2
Who could possibly question our tastes if we complained on leaving a restaurant
¿Quién podría cuestionar nuestros gustos si nos quejáramos al salir de un restaurante?
3
or museum that we found them just too loud or too stupid, too weak or too supernaturally inclined?
¿O museo que nos pareció demasiado ruidoso o demasiado estúpido, demasiado débil o con demasiada inclinación sobrenatural?
4
If we said we didn't like their chin or that there was something a bit weird around their hips?
¿Y si dijéramos que no nos gusta su barbilla o que hay algo un poco raro en sus caderas?
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It's surely for each one of us to decide according to the movements of our hearts
Sin duda, cada uno de nosotros debe decidir según los dictados de su corazón.
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and on that basis to gain appropriate sympathy for repeatedly not finding someone worthy of our time and our desire.
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However, after we've cycled through a certain number of candidates, after we've returned home from our 20th or 87th fruitless date,
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after we've yet again discovered, age 42 or 59, that the person across the table from us wasn't quite right,
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we may be encouraged to ask ourselves a few pointed questions.
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in order to judge whether the problem might truly lie with them
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or whether it might not perhaps have something to do with us.
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Though innumerable people will clearly be objectively flawed in a variety of ways, there are cases where the wrongness we detect may primarily speak
13
of a psychological dynamic in us – a bias towards rejecting people not because they are unsuitable per se,
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but because, just out of reach of our day-to-day consciousness, proximity to anyone, however accomplished and viable they might be,
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is associated with danger and intrusion.
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Although we may say in extremely moving tones that we're really interested in finding love,
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it may be that the prospect of actually finding it is not in fact at all simple, that it may reignite a fear,
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probably related to disappointments or perverse loyalties formed in childhood, of what could happen if it really came along.
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Way back, our attachment to our earliest caregivers may have taught us that loving people is not, in fact, either safe or advisable.
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We may have learnt, in the vagaries of our family lives, that trusting people was likely to be followed by disappointment.
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That those who know us from up close are prone to betray us catastrophically.
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That making ourselves vulnerable will invite abuse.
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We may not be aware, as we play the dating game, that we're carrying such complex emotional legacies.
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we may sincerely believe that we crave love above all else and would embrace it open-heartedly if it ever came along.
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And yet a part of us may still somewhere in the background be working overtime to ensure
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that every single new candidate that the apps
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or our friends have put forward is ruthlessly examined and rejected before they ever come close to threatening our isolation.
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We may publicly be committed to a relationship while privately wedded to the only state we associate with safety – solitude.
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How then might we judge the difference?
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How to know whether we are rejecting people out of a pathological wish to stay alone, born out of childhood wounds,
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or else rejecting them because they suffer from a maddening conversational habit or have a weird chin?
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There is one acute question we might raise with ourselves to tell the difference.
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If this prospective partner were a bit less keen, a bit less attentive, a bit less enthusiastic about seeing us again,
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might we like them more?
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Might distance improve their prospects in our eyes?
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If the question makes little sense, if we can't remotely imagine why any of this would make a difference, if there's nothing at all about them not messaging us for days
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that would alter the unbudgeable problem with their chin or their laugh, then the problem may on balance properly lie with them.
38
If, however, we recognise, pretty much as soon as the question is asked,
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that yes, strangely somehow it does appear that we would like them rather more if they texted less often, that we would make more of an effort if they were busier,
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that we'd even start to desire and long for them if we didn't pass muster in their eyes, then what we may be dealing with is not another flawed candidate,
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so much as the activation of a temperamental attachment mechanism formed by our experiences in untrustworthy,
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claustrophobic or neglectful childhoods.
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It's a major achievement when we've understood enough about our pasts to finally cease to feel revulsion
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or suspicion around those who threaten us with love.
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When we can take kindness at face value, when we don't seek to annihilate or punish those who want to be sympathetic towards us,
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it is a seismic moment when we can bear to reflect
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that the real problem may lie not
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so much with them for liking us as with our pasts for not allowing us to tolerate another's curiosity and goodness.
49
Thank you.
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Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección
Esta lección de conversación de nivel C1 se basa en el vídeo “Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell?”. Las palabras que más se repiten: rejecting, chin, childhood, ourselves, candidate. Este vídeo tiene 49 frases y 804 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 5:04. El hablante habla a un ritmo natural de unas 159 palabras por minuto, cercano a una conversación cotidiana. El 82 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés; conviene repasar el resto antes de empezar.
Vocabulario clave de este vídeo
Las 15 palabras más avanzadas del vídeo, con su pronunciación y significado:
| Palabra | Pronunciación | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| chin sustantivo | /ˈt͡ʃɪn/ | barbilla, mentón |
| flawed adjetivo | /flɔːd/ | fallado |
| attachment sustantivo | /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | prensión |
| threaten verbo | /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/ | conminar, amagar |
| disappointment sustantivo | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/ | decepción, ahueve |
| advisable adjetivo | aconsejable, recomendable | |
| annihilate verbo | /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/ | aniquilar, anihilar |
| attentive adjetivo | /əˈtɛntɪv/ | atento, solícito |
| betray verbo | /bɪˈtɹeɪ/ | traicionar, entregar |
| claustrophobic adjetivo | claustrofóbico, claustrófobo | |
| conversational adjetivo | /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/ | conversacional |
| fruitless adjetivo | /ˈfɹuːtləs/ | infructuoso |
| muster sustantivo | /ˈmʌstɚ/ | muestra |
| objectively adverbio | /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/ | objetivamente |
| pathological adjetivo | /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/ | patológico |
Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar
| Palabra | Significado |
|---|---|
| come along verbo | avanzar, marchar |
| put forward verbo | proponer, entablar |
Gramática en este vídeo
Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:
| Estructura | En el vídeo |
|---|---|
| Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace | may be encouraged · is associated · be followed |
| Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora | we've cycled · have put · we've understood |
| Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa | those who know · those who threaten · those who want |
Pronunciación a tener en cuenta
El hablante usa 12 contracciones y formas reducidas, como we've, didn't, we're. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.
- Los sonidos de “th”: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, ruthlessly /ˈɹuːθ.ləs.li/, untrustworthy /ˌʌnˈtɹʌstˌwɜː(ɹ)ði/, sympathetic /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/
- Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, intrusion /ɪnˈtɹuːʒən/, revulsion /ɹɪˈvʌlʃən/, activation /ˌæktəˈveɪʃən/, punish /ˈpʌnɪʃ/
- Palabras largas — cuida el acento: disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, annihilate /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/, conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, innumerable /ɪˈnuːməɹ.əbəl/, objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/
Sonidos difíciles para hispanohablantes:
- /v/ — no es /b/: los dientes tocan el labio inferior: attentive /əˈtɛntɪv/, caregiver /ˈkɛɹɡɪvɚ/, conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/, perverse /pɚˈvɝs/
- /z/ — sonora, no /s/: seismic /ˈsaɪzmɪk/, enthusiastic /ɪnˌθjuːzɪˈæstɪk/
- /dʒ/ — no es la “y” ni la “ch”: objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, strangely /ˈstɹeɪnd͡ʒli/
Cómo practicar con este vídeo
- Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
- Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
- Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como chin, flawed, attachment.
¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.