Shadowing Practice: Your Two Options in Love After a Bad Childhood - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Let's imagine you had a bad childhood.
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You may hardly remember it.
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It almost doesn't matter.
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The easiest way to assess what once went on is to reflect on how you feel about yourself now.
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The clearest sign of having had a miserable start is a deep self-hatred.
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You think you're ugly.
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You can't bear to look in mirrors.
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You never want to upset anyone and suspect everyone hates you.
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You feel unacceptable and weird and just in multiple non-specific ways.
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Diseased and not right.
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Behind such feelings there will have been the normal villains.
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A critical and unloving mother or father.
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Some violence and unpredictability.
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Huge preference for a sibling.
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There are only so many ways these sorts of wounds form.
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But the real legacy comes in love.
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Here, after the normal awful adolescence, eating disorders, cutting, alienation, drink, etc. you have two options.
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Firstly, to fall in love with cruel, distant, possibly violent, intermittent, unavailable people.
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You can fall in love with people who are married to someone else or who don't call you, who make you feel inadequate and unseen and constantly alarmed and unsure.
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You can love people who think you're unlovable.
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Or else, you can love people who really like you, who think you're attractive and sweet and clever and you can feel powerfully ill around them.
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You can become an expert in identifying what's wrong with them.
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They're not clever enough, they're weird, they've got no options.
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You criticise their taste in shoes, the shape of their mouth, a comment they made at a party.
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You become as critical of them as your parents were once critical of you.
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How could someone who liked you be anything other than a loser?
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You end up pushing them away, maybe not directly, but by going slightly cold or flirting with strangers.
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You know well enough how to detonate trust conclusively.
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This rigmarole can go on for most of your life.
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Unavailable, cruel people and sickeningly available ones.
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And in the in-between times, devastating loneliness.
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It's been going on forever.
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You can be sure this sort of thing went on in Renaissance Florence and Ming Dynasty Beijing.
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Is there any way out?
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There is, perhaps, just a third option.
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To understand what's going on and to share it with someone who is kind
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and perceptive and who might have problems of their own and a good therapist.
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To meet someone who threatens to make us feel sick with their sweetness, then to explain to them what we understand of our problem.
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Rather than pretending that we are healthy and can bear their kindness without difficulty, we may be able to tell them, I want so much to be normal,
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I want so much to tolerate kindness, but I have an illness.
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My past means I can't accept love, I can't digest it, I turn against it and the person giving it to me.
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But I don't want to be like this anymore.
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I'm tired of sabotaging relationships and turning away good people.
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Please help me to bear the anxiety of being cared for.
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Please help me to absorb the love I crave.
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Please forgive me for being unwell.
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If the person doesn't immediately run away, if they can see the decency behind the shame and the tenderness behind the neurosis,
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if they can partly understand our problem from the inside, we will be making momentous progress.
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We won't be healed yet, but at least we'll know how ill we are
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and will have found a way to hint at the scale of our terrors of kindness.
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Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección
Esta lección de conversación de nivel C1 se basa en el vídeo “Your Two Options in Love After a Bad Childhood”. Las palabras que más se repiten: kindness, bear, option, critical, normal. Este vídeo tiene 50 frases y 602 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 3:25. El hablante habla a un ritmo natural de unas 176 palabras por minuto, cercano a una conversación cotidiana. El 83 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés; conviene repasar el resto antes de empezar.
Vocabulario clave de este vídeo
Las 15 palabras más avanzadas del vídeo, con su pronunciación y significado:
| Palabra | Pronunciación | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| kindness sustantivo | /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/ | amabilidad, bondad |
| adolescence sustantivo | /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/ | adolescencia |
| alienation sustantivo | /ˌeɪli.əˈneɪʃən/ | alienación |
| conclusively adverbio | conclusivamente | |
| detonate verbo | /ˈdɛtəneɪt/ | detonarse |
| devastate verbo | /ˈdɛv.ə.steɪt/ | devastar |
| intermittent adjetivo | /ˌɪntɚˈmɪtn̩t/ | intermitente, esporádico |
| momentous adjetivo | /moʊˈmɛn.təs/ | importante, crucial |
| perceptive adjetivo | /pɚˈsɛptɪv/ | perspicaz |
| powerfully adverbio | /ˈpaʊɚf(ə)li/ | poderosamente |
| rigmarole sustantivo | /ˈɹɪɡməɹoʊl/ | embrollo |
| sweetness sustantivo | /ˈswitnəs/ | dulzura, dulzor |
| tenderness sustantivo | /ˈtɛn.dɚ.nɪs/ | ternura, terneza |
| unlove sustantivo | desamor | |
| unpredictability sustantivo | imprevisibilidad, impredecibilidad |
Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar
| Palabra | Significado |
|---|---|
| end up verbo | terminar, ir a parar |
| run away verbo | huir |
Frases que vale la pena repetir
Frases cortas y completas del vídeo que puedes reutilizar en la conversación diaria:
- Let's imagine you had a bad childhood.
- You can't bear to look in mirrors.
- You can love people who think you're unlovable.
- How could someone who liked you be anything other than a loser?
Gramática en este vídeo
Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:
| Estructura | En el vídeo |
|---|---|
| Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa | people who are · people who think · people who really |
| Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace | being cared · won't be healed |
Pronunciación a tener en cuenta
El hablante usa 16 contracciones y formas reducidas, como can't, you're, doesn't. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.
- Los sonidos de “th”: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/
- Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: alienation /ˌeɪli.əˈneɪʃən/, sabotage /ˈsæb.əˌtɑʒ/
- Palabras largas — cuida el acento: unavailable /ˌʌnəˈveɪləbəl/, adolescence /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/, alienation /ˌeɪli.əˈneɪʃən/, inadequate /ɪnˈædəkwɪt/, unacceptable /ˌʌn.ækˈsɛp.tə.bl̩/
Sonidos difíciles para hispanohablantes:
- /v/ — no es /b/: los dientes tocan el labio inferior: unavailable /ˌʌnəˈveɪləbəl/, devastate /ˈdɛv.ə.steɪt/, perceptive /pɚˈsɛptɪv/, villain /ˈvɪl.ən/
- /z/ — sonora, no /s/: criticize /ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/, loser /luzɚ/, miserable /ˈmɪz(ə)ɹəbəl/
- /h/ — una aspiración suave, no la “j”: hatred /ˈheɪtɹɪd/, hint /hɪnt/
Cómo practicar con este vídeo
- Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
- Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
- Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como kindness, adolescence, alienation.
¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.