Pratique du Shadowing: Your Two Options in Love After a Bad Childhood - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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50 phrases
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1
Let's imagine you had a bad childhood.
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You may hardly remember it.
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It almost doesn't matter.
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The easiest way to assess what once went on is to reflect on how you feel about yourself now.
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The clearest sign of having had a miserable start is a deep self-hatred.
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You think you're ugly.
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You can't bear to look in mirrors.
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You never want to upset anyone and suspect everyone hates you.
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You feel unacceptable and weird and just in multiple non-specific ways.
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Diseased and not right.
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Behind such feelings there will have been the normal villains.
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A critical and unloving mother or father.
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Some violence and unpredictability.
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Huge preference for a sibling.
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There are only so many ways these sorts of wounds form.
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But the real legacy comes in love.
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Here, after the normal awful adolescence, eating disorders, cutting, alienation, drink, etc. you have two options.
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Firstly, to fall in love with cruel, distant, possibly violent, intermittent, unavailable people.
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You can fall in love with people who are married to someone else or who don't call you, who make you feel inadequate and unseen and constantly alarmed and unsure.
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You can love people who think you're unlovable.
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Or else, you can love people who really like you, who think you're attractive and sweet and clever and you can feel powerfully ill around them.
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You can become an expert in identifying what's wrong with them.
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They're not clever enough, they're weird, they've got no options.
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You criticise their taste in shoes, the shape of their mouth, a comment they made at a party.
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You become as critical of them as your parents were once critical of you.
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How could someone who liked you be anything other than a loser?
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You end up pushing them away, maybe not directly, but by going slightly cold or flirting with strangers.
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You know well enough how to detonate trust conclusively.
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This rigmarole can go on for most of your life.
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Unavailable, cruel people and sickeningly available ones.
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And in the in-between times, devastating loneliness.
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It's been going on forever.
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You can be sure this sort of thing went on in Renaissance Florence and Ming Dynasty Beijing.
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Is there any way out?
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There is, perhaps, just a third option.
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To understand what's going on and to share it with someone who is kind
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and perceptive and who might have problems of their own and a good therapist.
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To meet someone who threatens to make us feel sick with their sweetness, then to explain to them what we understand of our problem.
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Rather than pretending that we are healthy and can bear their kindness without difficulty, we may be able to tell them, I want so much to be normal,
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I want so much to tolerate kindness, but I have an illness.
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My past means I can't accept love, I can't digest it, I turn against it and the person giving it to me.
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But I don't want to be like this anymore.
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I'm tired of sabotaging relationships and turning away good people.
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Please help me to bear the anxiety of being cared for.
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Please help me to absorb the love I crave.
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Please forgive me for being unwell.
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If the person doesn't immediately run away, if they can see the decency behind the shame and the tenderness behind the neurosis,
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if they can partly understand our problem from the inside, we will be making momentous progress.
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We won't be healed yet, but at least we'll know how ill we are
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and will have found a way to hint at the scale of our terrors of kindness.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau C1 s’appuie sur la vidéo « Your Two Options in Love After a Bad Childhood ». Les mots qui reviennent le plus souvent : kindness, bear, option, critical, normal. Cette vidéo contient 50 phrases et 602 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 3:25. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 176 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 83 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| kindness nom | /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/ | bonté |
| unavailable adjectif | /ˌʌnəˈveɪləbəl/ | indisponible |
| adolescence nom | /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/ | adolescence |
| alienation nom | /ˌeɪli.əˈneɪʃən/ | aliénation |
| detonate verbe | /ˈdɛtəneɪt/ | détoner |
| devastate verbe | /ˈdɛv.ə.steɪt/ | dévaster |
| intermittent adjectif | /ˌɪntɚˈmɪtn̩t/ | intermittent |
| momentous adjectif | /moʊˈmɛn.təs/ | capital, considérable |
| perceptive adjectif | /pɚˈsɛptɪv/ | perspicace, pertinent |
| powerfully adverbe | /ˈpaʊɚf(ə)li/ | puissamment, fortement |
| rigmarole nom | /ˈɹɪɡməɹoʊl/ | imbroglio |
| sweetness nom | /ˈswitnəs/ | douceur, sucrosité |
| tenderness nom | /ˈtɛn.dɚ.nɪs/ | tendresse |
| unlove nom | désamour | |
| unpredictability nom | imprévisibilité |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| end up verbe | se terminer, se finir |
| run away verbe | s'enfuir |
| turn away verbe | se détourner |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- Let's imagine you had a bad childhood.
- You can't bear to look in mirrors.
- You can love people who think you're unlovable.
- How could someone who liked you be anything other than a loser?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | people who are · people who think · people who really |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | being cared · won't be healed |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 16 contractions et formes réduites, comme can't, you're, doesn't. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: alienation /ˌeɪli.əˈneɪʃən/, sabotage /ˈsæb.əˌtɑʒ/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: unavailable /ˌʌnəˈveɪləbəl/, adolescence /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/, alienation /ˌeɪli.əˈneɪʃən/, inadequate /ɪnˈædəkwɪt/, unacceptable /ˌʌn.ækˈsɛp.tə.bl̩/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hatred /ˈheɪtɹɪd/, hint /hɪnt/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: rigmarole /ˈɹɪɡməɹoʊl/, criticize /ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/, firstly /ˈfɜɹstli/, absorb /æbˈsɔɹb/, tolerate /ˈtɑ.lə.ɹeɪt/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme kindness, unavailable, adolescence.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.