Pratique du Shadowing: Why Hurt People Hurt People - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
Création de la leçon...
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It's one of the puzzles of relationships that after a hugely promising few months or years,
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one of the members of a couple may start to exhibit notably aggressive and unyielding behaviour.
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Out go their previous tenderness and loveliness, and in come roughness and neglect.
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All they seem to want to do is to go out alone with their friends or flirt with strangers.
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One might wonder if it's the other person in the couple who might somehow be to blame for this.
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Perhaps they've done something wrong, and they're being, in certain ways appropriately, punished for not living up to expectations that they set.
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But the truth may be a great deal more circuitous and complex.
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In certain cases, the partner is in fact being punished, but not for doing anything wrong.
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If we can put it this way, they're being punished precisely for doing things rather right.
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They're being punished for not abandoning their lover, for not being cross, for not being mean, for not looking elsewhere, for not shouting,
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for not bullying and for not humiliating.
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They're being punished for their sweetness, crushed for their gentleness and tormented for their faith.
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Why on earth might kindly behaviours prove problematic?
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Because, in one of the truly oddest -sounding phenomena of love,
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the kindness of the partner may trigger an intense wish in a person to punish their lover for what, many years before in their childhood,
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a parent did wrong to them.
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It's the very sweetness of the partner, their kindness and loyalty, their disinclination to violence and unreason,
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that create the perfect conditions in which a hurt party will experience
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and then redirect a resentment and a rage that were actually owed, but could never be delivered to, a disappointing parent.
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The appalling behaviour winds up as a hugely peculiar and deeply tragic tribute to a unique degree of generosity and care.
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The arena in which this pattern can most clearly be observed is not directly in relationships, but in adoptive families.
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Research repeatedly shows that the nicer a recipient family is,
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the more an adopted child is liable in adolescence to become very difficult indeed.
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They will steal from their adopted family, perhaps scrawl on the walls, scream at them during arguments, parents, tell them that they loathe them,
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and then leave the house for hours slamming the door behind them.
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What in heaven's name have we done to deserve this?
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The adoptive parents may ask themselves in despair.
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And the answer, entirely odd though it may sound, is absolutely nothing.
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Which is exactly why you're being hurt so badly.
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You're being treated horribly for not being horrible.
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You're being made to feel what the abandoned infant once had to go through when no one else cared to listen.
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You're having to hear cries that went unheard.
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You've created the very conditions of safety in which intense pain can finally find a way out.
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A version of the very same dynamic can unfold more surreptitiously in adult love.
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Behind every drama that a person in a couple may cause, every holiday they ruin, every month they chew up,
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is a muffled, incoherent, but essential complaint.
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Where were you when I really needed you?
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How dare you be so kind to me when all I've had is cruelty all my life?
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How can I possibly deal with this loveliness when pain has been my home all along?
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Fuck off and die for trying to save and adore me.
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There is no alternative here but insight great,
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enormous, boundaried compassion, and an awareness that the person who's acting up still wants love very badly,
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they just have no clue how to accept it.
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One day, after much thought and therapy, perhaps long after the relationships ended,
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the destructive party needs to find a way to express the truth to the first person who ever loved them.
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Thank you for being kind enough to elicit my rage and my sadism.
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Apologies, deep apologies, for trying to destroy you for your unremitting love.
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I never wanted to harm you.
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I just had no idea what to do with the pain inside me.
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In the skies up above, angels will be weeping.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau C1 s’appuie sur la vidéo « Why Hurt People Hurt People ». Les mots qui reviennent le plus souvent : punished, parent, behaviour, relationships, partner. Cette vidéo contient 50 phrases et 701 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 4:46. Le locuteur parle à un rythme régulier d’environ 147 mots par minute, confortable pour le shadowing. Seuls 80 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc exigeant.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| punish verbe | /ˈpʌnɪʃ/ | punir, châtier |
| adoptive adjectif | /əˈdɒptɪv/ | adoptif |
| loveliness nom | /ˈlʌvlinəs/ | beauté, charme |
| sweetness nom | /ˈswitnəs/ | douceur, sucrosité |
| hugely adverbe | /ˈhjuːd͡ʒli/ | colossalement |
| kindness nom | /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/ | bonté |
| abandon verbe | /əˈbæn.dən/ | abandonner |
| apology nom | /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/ | excuse |
| adolescence nom | /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/ | adolescence |
| appalling adjectif | /əˈpɔːlɪŋ/ | épouvantable, effroyable |
| circuitous adjectif | /sɚˈkjuːətəs/ | tortueux |
| elicit verbe | /ɪˈlɪsɪt/ | susciter |
| horribly adverbe | /ˈhɔɹəbli/ | horriblement |
| humiliate verbe | /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/ | humilier |
| incoherent adjectif | incohérent, décousu |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| act up verbe | /ækt ˈʌp/ | enquiquiner, énerver |
| go out verbe | sortir | |
| go through verbe | traverser | |
| wind up verbe | /waɪnd ˈʌp/ | remonter |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- What in heaven's name have we done to deserve this?
- Which is exactly why you're being hurt so badly.
- You're being treated horribly for not being horrible.
- You're having to hear cries that went unheard.
- Where were you when I really needed you?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | being punished · be delivered · be observed |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | they've done · You've created · has been |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 11 contractions et formes réduites, comme they're, you're, I've. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: punish /ˈpʌnɪʃ/, disinclination /ˌdɪsɪŋklɪˈneɪʃən/, surreptitiously /sʌɹəpˈtɪʃəsli/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: apology /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, adolescence /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/, circuitous /sɚˈkjuːətəs/, disinclination /ˌdɪsɪŋklɪˈneɪʃən/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hugely /ˈhjuːd͡ʒli/, horribly /ˈhɔɹəbli/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/, unheard /ʌnˈhɜː(ɹ)d/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: hugely /ˈhjuːd͡ʒli/, apology /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, gentleness /ˈd͡ʒɛntl̩nəs/, generosity /ˌd͡ʒɛn.əˈɹɑ.sə.ti/, chew /tʃuː/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: horribly /ˈhɔɹəbli/, roughness /ˈɹʌf.nəs/, scrawl /skɹɔːl/, surreptitiously /sʌɹəpˈtɪʃəsli/, torment /ˈtɔː(ɹ)mɛnt/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Répétez phrase par phrase à vitesse normale, en reprenant chacune jusqu’à ce que votre rythme corresponde à celui du locuteur.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme punish, adoptive, loveliness.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.