Pratique du Shadowing: Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell? - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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49 phrases
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On the face of it, not liking someone during the dating game is everyone's great prerogative.
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Who could possibly question our tastes if we complained on leaving a restaurant
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or museum that we found them just too loud or too stupid, too weak or too supernaturally inclined?
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If we said we didn't like their chin or that there was something a bit weird around their hips?
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It's surely for each one of us to decide according to the movements of our hearts
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and on that basis to gain appropriate sympathy for repeatedly not finding someone worthy of our time and our desire.
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However, after we've cycled through a certain number of candidates, after we've returned home from our 20th or 87th fruitless date,
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after we've yet again discovered, age 42 or 59, that the person across the table from us wasn't quite right,
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we may be encouraged to ask ourselves a few pointed questions.
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in order to judge whether the problem might truly lie with them
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or whether it might not perhaps have something to do with us.
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Though innumerable people will clearly be objectively flawed in a variety of ways, there are cases where the wrongness we detect may primarily speak
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of a psychological dynamic in us – a bias towards rejecting people not because they are unsuitable per se,
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but because, just out of reach of our day-to-day consciousness, proximity to anyone, however accomplished and viable they might be,
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is associated with danger and intrusion.
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Although we may say in extremely moving tones that we're really interested in finding love,
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it may be that the prospect of actually finding it is not in fact at all simple, that it may reignite a fear,
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probably related to disappointments or perverse loyalties formed in childhood, of what could happen if it really came along.
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Way back, our attachment to our earliest caregivers may have taught us that loving people is not, in fact, either safe or advisable.
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We may have learnt, in the vagaries of our family lives, that trusting people was likely to be followed by disappointment.
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That those who know us from up close are prone to betray us catastrophically.
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That making ourselves vulnerable will invite abuse.
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We may not be aware, as we play the dating game, that we're carrying such complex emotional legacies.
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we may sincerely believe that we crave love above all else and would embrace it open-heartedly if it ever came along.
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And yet a part of us may still somewhere in the background be working overtime to ensure
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that every single new candidate that the apps
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or our friends have put forward is ruthlessly examined and rejected before they ever come close to threatening our isolation.
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We may publicly be committed to a relationship while privately wedded to the only state we associate with safety – solitude.
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How then might we judge the difference?
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How to know whether we are rejecting people out of a pathological wish to stay alone, born out of childhood wounds,
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or else rejecting them because they suffer from a maddening conversational habit or have a weird chin?
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There is one acute question we might raise with ourselves to tell the difference.
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If this prospective partner were a bit less keen, a bit less attentive, a bit less enthusiastic about seeing us again,
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might we like them more?
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Might distance improve their prospects in our eyes?
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If the question makes little sense, if we can't remotely imagine why any of this would make a difference, if there's nothing at all about them not messaging us for days
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that would alter the unbudgeable problem with their chin or their laugh, then the problem may on balance properly lie with them.
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If, however, we recognise, pretty much as soon as the question is asked,
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that yes, strangely somehow it does appear that we would like them rather more if they texted less often, that we would make more of an effort if they were busier,
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that we'd even start to desire and long for them if we didn't pass muster in their eyes, then what we may be dealing with is not another flawed candidate,
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so much as the activation of a temperamental attachment mechanism formed by our experiences in untrustworthy,
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claustrophobic or neglectful childhoods.
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It's a major achievement when we've understood enough about our pasts to finally cease to feel revulsion
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or suspicion around those who threaten us with love.
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When we can take kindness at face value, when we don't seek to annihilate or punish those who want to be sympathetic towards us,
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it is a seismic moment when we can bear to reflect
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that the real problem may lie not
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so much with them for liking us as with our pasts for not allowing us to tolerate another's curiosity and goodness.
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Thank you.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau C1 s’appuie sur la vidéo « Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell? ». Les mots qui reviennent le plus souvent : rejecting, chin, childhood, ourselves, candidate. Cette vidéo contient 49 phrases et 804 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 5:04. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 159 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 82 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| chin nom | /ˈt͡ʃɪn/ | menton |
| flawed adjectif | /flɔːd/ | déficient, incorrect |
| attachment nom | /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | attachement |
| threaten verbe | /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/ | menacer |
| disappointment nom | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/ | déception |
| annihilate verbe | /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/ | annihiler, anéantir |
| attentive adjectif | /əˈtɛntɪv/ | attentif |
| betray verbe | /bɪˈtɹeɪ/ | trahir, livrer |
| catastrophically adverbe | catastrophiquement | |
| claustrophobic adjectif | claustrophobe | |
| conversational adjectif | /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/ | conversationnel |
| fruitless adjectif | /ˈfɹuːtləs/ | abortif |
| neglectful adjectif | négligent | |
| objectively adverbe | /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/ | objectivement |
| pathological adjectif | /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/ | pathologique |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| come along verbe | accompagner, venir |
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | may be encouraged · is associated · be followed |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | we've cycled · have put · we've understood |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | those who know · those who threaten · those who want |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 12 contractions et formes réduites, comme we've, didn't, we're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, ruthlessly /ˈɹuːθ.ləs.li/, untrustworthy /ˌʌnˈtɹʌstˌwɜː(ɹ)ði/, sympathetic /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, intrusion /ɪnˈtɹuːʒən/, revulsion /ɹɪˈvʌlʃən/, activation /ˌæktəˈveɪʃən/, punish /ˈpʌnɪʃ/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, annihilate /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/, conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, innumerable /ɪˈnuːməɹ.əbəl/, objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: chin /ˈt͡ʃɪn/, attachment /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, strangely /ˈstɹeɪnd͡ʒli/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, betray /bɪˈtɹeɪ/, caregiver /ˈkɛɹɡɪvɚ/, conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, fruitless /ˈfɹuːtləs/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme chin, flawed, attachment.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.