Prática de Shadowing: Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell? - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
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On the face of it, not liking someone during the dating game is everyone's great prerogative.
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Who could possibly question our tastes if we complained on leaving a restaurant
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or museum that we found them just too loud or too stupid, too weak or too supernaturally inclined?
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If we said we didn't like their chin or that there was something a bit weird around their hips?
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It's surely for each one of us to decide according to the movements of our hearts
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and on that basis to gain appropriate sympathy for repeatedly not finding someone worthy of our time and our desire.
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However, after we've cycled through a certain number of candidates, after we've returned home from our 20th or 87th fruitless date,
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after we've yet again discovered, age 42 or 59, that the person across the table from us wasn't quite right,
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we may be encouraged to ask ourselves a few pointed questions.
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in order to judge whether the problem might truly lie with them
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or whether it might not perhaps have something to do with us.
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Though innumerable people will clearly be objectively flawed in a variety of ways, there are cases where the wrongness we detect may primarily speak
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of a psychological dynamic in us – a bias towards rejecting people not because they are unsuitable per se,
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but because, just out of reach of our day-to-day consciousness, proximity to anyone, however accomplished and viable they might be,
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is associated with danger and intrusion.
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Although we may say in extremely moving tones that we're really interested in finding love,
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it may be that the prospect of actually finding it is not in fact at all simple, that it may reignite a fear,
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probably related to disappointments or perverse loyalties formed in childhood, of what could happen if it really came along.
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Way back, our attachment to our earliest caregivers may have taught us that loving people is not, in fact, either safe or advisable.
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We may have learnt, in the vagaries of our family lives, that trusting people was likely to be followed by disappointment.
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That those who know us from up close are prone to betray us catastrophically.
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That making ourselves vulnerable will invite abuse.
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We may not be aware, as we play the dating game, that we're carrying such complex emotional legacies.
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we may sincerely believe that we crave love above all else and would embrace it open-heartedly if it ever came along.
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And yet a part of us may still somewhere in the background be working overtime to ensure
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that every single new candidate that the apps
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or our friends have put forward is ruthlessly examined and rejected before they ever come close to threatening our isolation.
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We may publicly be committed to a relationship while privately wedded to the only state we associate with safety – solitude.
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How then might we judge the difference?
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How to know whether we are rejecting people out of a pathological wish to stay alone, born out of childhood wounds,
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or else rejecting them because they suffer from a maddening conversational habit or have a weird chin?
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There is one acute question we might raise with ourselves to tell the difference.
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If this prospective partner were a bit less keen, a bit less attentive, a bit less enthusiastic about seeing us again,
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might we like them more?
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Might distance improve their prospects in our eyes?
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If the question makes little sense, if we can't remotely imagine why any of this would make a difference, if there's nothing at all about them not messaging us for days
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that would alter the unbudgeable problem with their chin or their laugh, then the problem may on balance properly lie with them.
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If, however, we recognise, pretty much as soon as the question is asked,
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that yes, strangely somehow it does appear that we would like them rather more if they texted less often, that we would make more of an effort if they were busier,
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that we'd even start to desire and long for them if we didn't pass muster in their eyes, then what we may be dealing with is not another flawed candidate,
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so much as the activation of a temperamental attachment mechanism formed by our experiences in untrustworthy,
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claustrophobic or neglectful childhoods.
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It's a major achievement when we've understood enough about our pasts to finally cease to feel revulsion
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or suspicion around those who threaten us with love.
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When we can take kindness at face value, when we don't seek to annihilate or punish those who want to be sympathetic towards us,
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it is a seismic moment when we can bear to reflect
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that the real problem may lie not
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so much with them for liking us as with our pasts for not allowing us to tolerate another's curiosity and goodness.
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Thank you.
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Esta aula de conversação de nível C1 usa o vídeo “Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell?”. As palavras que mais se repetem: rejecting, chin, childhood, ourselves, candidate. Este vídeo tem 49 frases e 804 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 5:04. O falante fala em ritmo natural, cerca de 159 palavras por minuto, próximo de uma conversa do dia a dia. 82% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês; vale a pena estudar o restante antes de começar.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
As 15 palavras mais avançadas do vídeo, com pronúncia e significado:
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| chin substantivo | /ˈt͡ʃɪn/ | queixo, mento |
| attachment substantivo | /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | apego, afeição |
| threaten verbo | /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/ | ameaçar |
| disappointment substantivo | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/ | decepção |
| advisable adjetivo | aconselhável, recomendável | |
| annihilate verbo | /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/ | aniquilar |
| attentive adjetivo | /əˈtɛntɪv/ | atencioso, atento |
| betray verbo | /bɪˈtɹeɪ/ | trair |
| claustrophobic adjetivo | claustrofóbico, claustrofóbica | |
| fruitless adjetivo | /ˈfɹuːtləs/ | infrutífero |
| neglectful adjetivo | negligente | |
| objectively advérbio | /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/ | objetivamente |
| pathological adjetivo | /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/ | patológico |
| prerogative substantivo | /pɹəˈɹɑɡ.ə.tɪv/ | prerrogativa |
| revulsion substantivo | /ɹɪˈvʌlʃən/ | revulsão |
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
| Palavra | Significado |
|---|---|
| put forward verbo | apresentar, propor |
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | may be encouraged · is associated · be followed |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | we've cycled · have put · we've understood |
| Orações relativas who / which + oração — informação extra sobre uma pessoa ou coisa | those who know · those who threaten · those who want |
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 12 contrações e formas reduzidas, como we've, didn't, we're. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “th”: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, ruthlessly /ˈɹuːθ.ləs.li/, untrustworthy /ˌʌnˈtɹʌstˌwɜː(ɹ)ði/, sympathetic /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, intrusion /ɪnˈtɹuːʒən/, revulsion /ɹɪˈvʌlʃən/, activation /ˌæktəˈveɪʃən/, punish /ˈpʌnɪʃ/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, annihilate /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/, conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, innumerable /ɪˈnuːməɹ.əbəl/, objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/
Sons difíceis para falantes de português:
- Consoante final — sem acrescentar um “i” depois: flawed /flɔːd/, attachment /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, annihilate /əˈnaɪ.ə.leɪt/, solitude /ˈsɑlɪˌtud/
- /l/ final — a língua toca o céu da boca, não vira “u”: conversational /ˌkɒnvə(ɹ)ˈseɪʃənəl/, innumerable /ɪˈnuːməɹ.əbəl/, pathological /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑd͡ʒ.ɪ.kəl/, unsuitable /ʌnˈsuːtəbəl/, viable /ˈvaɪəbəl/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Comece na velocidade 0,75×, faça shadowing frase por frase e volte à velocidade normal quando ficar fácil.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como chin, attachment, threaten.
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.