Prática de Shadowing: Why Hurt People Hurt People - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
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It's one of the puzzles of relationships that after a hugely promising few months or years,
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one of the members of a couple may start to exhibit notably aggressive and unyielding behaviour.
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Out go their previous tenderness and loveliness, and in come roughness and neglect.
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All they seem to want to do is to go out alone with their friends or flirt with strangers.
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One might wonder if it's the other person in the couple who might somehow be to blame for this.
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Perhaps they've done something wrong, and they're being, in certain ways appropriately, punished for not living up to expectations that they set.
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But the truth may be a great deal more circuitous and complex.
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In certain cases, the partner is in fact being punished, but not for doing anything wrong.
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If we can put it this way, they're being punished precisely for doing things rather right.
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They're being punished for not abandoning their lover, for not being cross, for not being mean, for not looking elsewhere, for not shouting,
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for not bullying and for not humiliating.
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They're being punished for their sweetness, crushed for their gentleness and tormented for their faith.
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Why on earth might kindly behaviours prove problematic?
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Because, in one of the truly oddest -sounding phenomena of love,
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the kindness of the partner may trigger an intense wish in a person to punish their lover for what, many years before in their childhood,
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a parent did wrong to them.
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It's the very sweetness of the partner, their kindness and loyalty, their disinclination to violence and unreason,
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that create the perfect conditions in which a hurt party will experience
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and then redirect a resentment and a rage that were actually owed, but could never be delivered to, a disappointing parent.
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The appalling behaviour winds up as a hugely peculiar and deeply tragic tribute to a unique degree of generosity and care.
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The arena in which this pattern can most clearly be observed is not directly in relationships, but in adoptive families.
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Research repeatedly shows that the nicer a recipient family is,
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the more an adopted child is liable in adolescence to become very difficult indeed.
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They will steal from their adopted family, perhaps scrawl on the walls, scream at them during arguments, parents, tell them that they loathe them,
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and then leave the house for hours slamming the door behind them.
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What in heaven's name have we done to deserve this?
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The adoptive parents may ask themselves in despair.
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And the answer, entirely odd though it may sound, is absolutely nothing.
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Which is exactly why you're being hurt so badly.
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You're being treated horribly for not being horrible.
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You're being made to feel what the abandoned infant once had to go through when no one else cared to listen.
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You're having to hear cries that went unheard.
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You've created the very conditions of safety in which intense pain can finally find a way out.
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A version of the very same dynamic can unfold more surreptitiously in adult love.
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Behind every drama that a person in a couple may cause, every holiday they ruin, every month they chew up,
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is a muffled, incoherent, but essential complaint.
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Where were you when I really needed you?
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How dare you be so kind to me when all I've had is cruelty all my life?
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How can I possibly deal with this loveliness when pain has been my home all along?
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Fuck off and die for trying to save and adore me.
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There is no alternative here but insight great,
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enormous, boundaried compassion, and an awareness that the person who's acting up still wants love very badly,
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they just have no clue how to accept it.
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One day, after much thought and therapy, perhaps long after the relationships ended,
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the destructive party needs to find a way to express the truth to the first person who ever loved them.
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Thank you for being kind enough to elicit my rage and my sadism.
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Apologies, deep apologies, for trying to destroy you for your unremitting love.
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I never wanted to harm you.
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I just had no idea what to do with the pain inside me.
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In the skies up above, angels will be weeping.
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Esta aula de conversação de nível C1 usa o vídeo “Why Hurt People Hurt People”. As palavras que mais se repetem: punished, parent, behaviour, relationships, partner. Este vídeo tem 50 frases e 701 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 4:46. O falante mantém um ritmo estável de cerca de 147 palavras por minuto, confortável para o shadowing. Apenas 80% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês, por isso o vocabulário é exigente.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
As 15 palavras mais avançadas do vídeo, com pronúncia e significado:
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| punish verbo | /ˈpʌnɪʃ/ | castigar, punir |
| adoptive adjetivo | /əˈdɒptɪv/ | adotivo |
| sweetness substantivo | /ˈswitnəs/ | doçura |
| kindness substantivo | /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/ | gentileza |
| abandon verbo | /əˈbæn.dən/ | abandonar, desistir |
| apology substantivo | /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/ | desculpa |
| adolescence substantivo | /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/ | adolescência |
| appalling adjetivo | /əˈpɔːlɪŋ/ | apavorante, assombroso |
| elicit verbo | /ɪˈlɪsɪt/ | provocar |
| gentleness substantivo | /ˈd͡ʒɛntl̩nəs/ | gentileza |
| horribly advérbio | /ˈhɔɹəbli/ | horrivelmente |
| humiliate verbo | /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/ | humilhar |
| incoherent adjetivo | incoerente | |
| loathe verbo | /ˈloʊð/ | detestar |
| muffle verbo | /mʌfl̩/ | abafar, cobrir |
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| go out verbo | sair | |
| wind up verbo | /waɪnd ˈʌp/ | dar corda |
Frases que vale a pena repetir
Frases curtas e completas do vídeo que você pode usar na conversa do dia a dia:
- What in heaven's name have we done to deserve this?
- Which is exactly why you're being hurt so badly.
- You're being treated horribly for not being horrible.
- You're having to hear cries that went unheard.
- Where were you when I really needed you?
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | being punished · be delivered · be observed |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | they've done · You've created · has been |
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 11 contrações e formas reduzidas, como they're, you're, I've. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: punish /ˈpʌnɪʃ/, disinclination /ˌdɪsɪŋklɪˈneɪʃən/, surreptitiously /sʌɹəpˈtɪʃəsli/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: apology /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, adolescence /ˌædəˈlɛsəns/, circuitous /sɚˈkjuːətəs/, disinclination /ˌdɪsɪŋklɪˈneɪʃən/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/
Sons difíceis para falantes de português:
- Consoante final — sem acrescentar um “i” depois: elicit /ɪˈlɪsɪt/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/, torment /ˈtɔː(ɹ)mɛnt/, unfold /ʌnˈfoʊld/, unheard /ʌnˈhɜː(ɹ)d/
- /l/ final — a língua toca o céu da boca, não vira “u”: scrawl /skɹɔːl/, liable /ˈlaɪ̯əbəl/, puzzle /ˈpʌzəl/
- /h/ — um sopro suave, diferente do “r”: hugely /ˈhjuːd͡ʒli/, horribly /ˈhɔɹəbli/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/, unheard /ʌnˈhɜː(ɹ)d/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Faça shadowing frase por frase na velocidade normal, repetindo cada uma até o seu ritmo ficar igual ao do falante.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como punish, adoptive, sweetness.
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.