Shadowing Practice: 20 Signs You're Emotionally Mature - Learn English Speaking with Video
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20 Signs That You Are Emotionally Mature
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You realise that most of the bad behaviour of other people really comes down to fear and anxiety,
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rather than, as it's generally easier to presume, nastiness or idiocy.
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You loosen your hold on self-righteousness and stop thinking of the world as populated by either monsters or fools.
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– it makes things less black and white at first, but in time, a great deal more interesting.
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You learn that what's in your head can't automatically be understood by other people.
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You realise that, unfortunately, you're going to have to articulate your intentions
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and feelings with the use of words –
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and can't fairly blame other people for not getting what you mean until you've spoken calmly and clearly.
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You learn that, remarkably, you do sometimes get things wrong.
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With huge courage, you take your first faltering steps towards, once in a while, apologising.
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You learn to be confident, not by realising that you're great, but by learning that everyone else is just as stupid,
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scared and lost as you are.
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We're all making it up as we go along.
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And that's fine.
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You You forgive your parents because you realise that they didn't put you on this earth in order to insult you.
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They were just painfully out of their depth and struggling with demons of their own.
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Anger turns, at points, to pity and compassion.
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You learn the enormous influence of so-called small things on mood – bedtimes, blood sugar and alcohol levels,
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degrees of background stress and so on.
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And as a result, you learn never to bring up an important contentious issue with a loved one until everyone is well rested, no one is drunk, you've had some food,
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nothing else is alarming you and you're not rushing to catch a train.
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You give up sulking.
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If someone hurts you, you don't store up the hatred and the hurt for days.
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You remember we'll all be dead soon.
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You don't expect others to know what's wrong.
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You tell them straight and if they get it, you forgive them.
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And if they don't, in a different way, you forgive them too.
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You cease to believe in perfection in pretty much every area.
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There aren't any perfect people, perfect jobs or perfect lives.
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Instead, you pivot towards an appreciation of what is, to use the psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott's exemplary phrase, good enough.
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You realise that many things in your life are at once quite frustrating and yet, in many ways, eminently good enough.
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You learn the virtues of being a little more pessimistic about how things will turn out
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and as a result emerge as a calmer, more patient and more forgiving soul.
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You lose some of your idealism and become a far less maddening person.
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You learn to see that everyone's weaknesses of character are linked to counterbalancing strengths.
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Rather than isolating their weaknesses, you look at the whole picture.
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Yes, someone is rather pedantic, but they're also beautifully precise and a rock at times of turmoil.
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Yes, someone is a bit messy, but at the same time brilliantly creative and very visionary.
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You realise, truly realise, that perfect people don't exist and that every strength will be tagged to a weakness.
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You fall in love a bit less easily.
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It's difficult in a way.
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When you were less mature, you could develop a crush in an instant.
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Now, you're poignantly aware that everyone, however externally charming or accomplished, would be a bit of a pain from close up.
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You develop loyalty to what you already have.
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You learn that you are, rather surprisingly, quite a difficult person to live with.
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You shared some of your earlier sentimentality towards yourself.
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You go into friendships and relationships offering others kindly warnings of how and when you might prove a challenge.
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You learn to forgive yourself for your errors and foolishness.
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You realise the unfruitful self-absorption involved in simply flogging yourself for past mistakes.
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You become more of a friend to yourself.
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Of course you're an idiot, but you're still a lovable one, as we all are.
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You learn that part of what maturity involves is making peace with the stubbornly childlike bits of you that will always remain.
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You cease trying to be a great grown up at every occasion.
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You accept that we all have our regressive moments, and when the inner two-year-old you raises its head,
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you greet them generously and give them the attention they need.
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You cease to put too much hope in grand plans for the kind of happiness you expect could last for years.
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You start to celebrate the little things that go well.
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You realise that Satisfaction comes in increments of minutes.
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You're delighted if one day passes by without too much bother.
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You take a greater interest in flowers and in the evening sky.
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You develop a taste for small pleasures.
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What people in general think of you ceases to be such a concern.
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You realise that the minds of others are muddled places
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and you don't try so hard to polish your image in everyone else's eyes.
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What counts is that you and one or two others are okay with you being you.
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You give up on fame and start to rely on love.
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You get better at hearing feedback.
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Rather than assuming that anyone who criticises you is either trying to humiliate you or is making a mistake,
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you accept that maybe it would be an idea to take a few things on board.
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You start to see that you can listen to a criticism and survive it, without having to put on your armour and deny that there was ever a problem.
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You realise the extent to which you tend to live, day by day, in too great a proximity to certain of your problems and issues.
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You remember more and more that you need to get out and get a perspective on the things that pain you.
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You take more walks in nature.
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You might get a pet – they don't fret like we do –
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and you appreciate the distant galaxies above us in the night sky.
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You recognise how your distinctive past colours your response to events, and learn to compensate for the distortions that can result.
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You accept that because of how your childhood went, you have a predisposition to exaggerate in certain areas.
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You become suspicious of your own first impulses around particular topics.
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You realise, sometimes, not to go with your first feelings.
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When you start a friendship, you realise that other people don't principally want to know your good news, so much as gain an insight into what troubles and worries you,
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so that they can, in turn, feel less lonely with the pains of their own hearts.
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You become a better friend because you see that what friendship is really about is a sharing of vulnerability.
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to more clearly explain our moods.
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Click the link on screen now to find out more.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “20 Signs You're Emotionally Mature” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 85 cümle ve 1168 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 7:41 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 152 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %82’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| cease fiil | /sis/ | durmak, bitmek |
| weakness isim | /ˈwik.nɪs/ | sıskalık, zayıflık |
| contentious sıfat | /kənˈtɛn.ʃəs/ | tartışmalı, mücâdeleci |
| counterbalance isim | /ˌkaʊntɚˈbæləns/ | denge ağırlığı |
| exaggerate fiil | /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/ | abartmak, mübalağa etmek |
| exemplary sıfat | /ɪɡˈzɛmpləɹi/ | örnek |
| humiliate fiil | /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/ | aşağılamak, utandırmak |
| idealism isim | /ʌɪˈdɪəlɪz(ə)m/ | ülkücülük, idealizm |
| increment isim | /ˈɪŋkɹɪmn̩t/ | artım, artış |
| loosen fiil | /ˈluːsən/ | gevşemek, gevşetmek |
| lovable sıfat | /ˈlʌvəbəl/ | sevilen |
| pessimistic sıfat | /ˌpɛ.səˈmɪs.tɪk/ | pesimist, karamsar |
| populate fiil | /ˈpɒp.jʊˌleɪt/ | meskûn kılmak, şeneltmek |
| predisposition isim | /ˌpridɪspəˈzɪʃən/ | yatkınlık; eğilim |
| psychoanalyst isim | psikanalist |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| find out fiil | anlamak, ortaya çıkarmak |
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | be understood · is drunk · are linked |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | you've spoken · you've had |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, you're, can't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 23 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: contentious /kənˈtɛn.ʃəs/, foolishness /ˈfuːlɪʃnəs/, predisposition /ˌpridɪspəˈzɪʃən/, visionary /ˈvɪʒəˌnɛɹi/, distortion /dɪsˈtɔːʃən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: counterbalance /ˌkaʊntɚˈbæləns/, eminently /ˈɛmɪnəntli/, exaggerate /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/, exemplary /ɪɡˈzɛmpləɹi/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: frustrate /ˈfɹʌsˌtɹeɪt/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/, predisposition /ˌpridɪspəˈzɪʃən/, presume /pɹɪˈz(j)um/, greet /ɡɹiːt/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: counterbalance /ˌkaʊntɚˈbæləns/, exaggerate /ɛɡˈzæd͡ʒ.ə.ɹeɪt/, pedantic /pəˈdæn.tɪk/, madden /ˈmædən/, absorption /æbˈsɔɹp.ʃn̩/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; cease, weakness, contentious gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.