Shadowing Practice: Why Parents Bully Their Children - Learn English Speaking with Video
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1
What is the most strange and saddest phenomena of psychological life?
Psikolojik yaşamın en garip ve en üzücü olayı nedir?
2
One of the strangest and saddest phenomena of psychological life is that there are parents, too many parents, who end up,
Psikolojik yaşamın en tuhaf ve üzücü olaylarından biri de, çok sayıda ebeveynin sonunda şu sonuca varmasıdır:
3
while sometimes only half realizing it, bullying their own children.
Bazen bunun farkına bile varmadan kendi çocuklarına zorbalık yapıyorlar.
4
Why do parents bully their children?
Anne babalar neden çocuklarına zorbalık yapar?
5
In short, in order to try to feel better about themselves themselves.
Kısacası, kendilerini daha iyi hissetmek için.
6
Because they suffer intensely in the very same area that they are choosing to bully their child in.
7
Someone made them feel awful and they surmise,
8
by twisted logic, that they will feel better through the process of making their own child feel very bad indeed.
9
They aren't doing it personally.
10
The child is just collateral damage to a misguided project of healing and an attenuation of symptoms.
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It doesn't make any sense, of course, but But it may actually work for the parent for a time.
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Let's imagine a parent who harbours a terrible fear of being stupid.
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Somewhere in their own past, they were belittled and made to feel hugely inadequate.
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Now a child comes along, their own child, full of the normal hesitations and weaknesses of early infancy.
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Without really realising what they're up to, the parent grows inflamed and incensed by this child's apparent stupidity
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and starts to mock and attack in another person what they fear and hate in themselves.
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It makes them feel a bit better.
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The child becomes a repository of all that they fail to tolerate in themselves.
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They, the child, are the dumb one, so they, the parent, don't have to be.
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They, the child, are the stupid and ugly one, so they, the parent, don't have to be.
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And therefore, the parent is liberated to live more easily within itself self.
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The bad is contained and localised.
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It can't be in them if it's all in little him or her.
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It can take bullied children a very long time to realise that they have even been bullied.
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They don't after all grow up thinking
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that someone else has actually made them feel stupid or made them feel ugly or made them feel soiled,
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let alone their own parent whom they depend on and admire and long to be loved by.
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They simply think that they are stupid, ugly and soiled.
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There is no call for an explanation or a cause.
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Yet, if we are those now grown -up bullied children, we don't need to wonder too much more about what might have happened to us.
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We simply need to take stock of how we feel about ourselves
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and guess that the terrible judgements and sensations that we have about ourselves did not arise spontaneously.
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The feelings we harbour of ourselves are legacies of real occurrences in the world.
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Someone who isn't necessarily owning up to it made us feel a certain way
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and that is why now we are in such pain.
36
Typically, those who've been bullied don't look backwards.
37
Their illnesses point them relentlessly to the present and the future.
38
The bullied anticipate terrible things happening to them that echo events
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that once happened to them but that they don't remember in any way.
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They are causeless paranoiacs, self -haters and warriors.
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Catastrophe is never far away.
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A person feels they're ugly because two decades ago a mother made them feel as such.
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A person feels they've done something very wrong because even further back someone did something very wrong to them.
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The fear contains the imprint of unconscious history.
45
We overcome our bullying when we learn to discriminate between what actually belongs to us and what was placed in us.
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Between who we are and what we've been told we are.
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Between how our caregivers like to present themselves and what they've actually done.
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Our triggers and apprehensions lie along the fault lines of our early traumas.
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So they can guide us back to what we suffered through when we are ready to explore.
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We're on our way to overcoming bullying when we can say at last, I'm not ugly, I was made to feel unacceptable.
51
I haven't done anything wrong.
52
Something wrong was done to me.
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And in general, I am not awful.
54
Something awful happened to me.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu konuşma dersi “Why Parents Bully Their Children” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: parent, bullied, ugly, themselves, stupid. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 54 cümle ve 701 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 4:07 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 170 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %84’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| bully isim | /ˈbʊli/ | zorba |
| ugly sıfat | /ˈʌɡli/ | çirkin |
| awful sıfat | /ˈɔːfʊl/ | berbat |
| bullying isim | /ˈbʊ.li.ɪŋ/ | zorbalık |
| suffer fiil | /ˈsʌfɚ/ | çekmek, acı çekmek |
| soil isim | /sɔɪl/ | toprak |
| overcome fiil | /ˌəʊ.vəˈkʌm/ | yenmek, atlatmak |
| psychological sıfat | /ˌsaɪ.kəˈlɑː.d͡ʒɪ.kl̩/ | psikolojik |
| phenomenon isim | /fəˈnɒm.ɪ.nən/ | fenomen |
| explanation isim | /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/ | açıklama |
| illness isim | /ˈɪl.nəs/ | hastalık, maraz |
| legacy isim | /ˈlɛɡəsi/ | miras |
| explore fiil | /ɪkˈsploɹ/ | araştırmak |
| trigger isim | /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/ | [4, 5] tetikleme, tetik |
| twist fiil | /twɪst/ | burmak |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| grow up fiil | büyümek, yetişmek |
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | were belittled · is liberated · is contained |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | have even been bullied · has actually made · who've been bullied |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, they're, they've gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 19 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, unconscious /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəs/, sensation /sɛnˈseɪʃən/, hesitation /ˌhɛzɪˈteɪʃən/, apprehension /æp.ɹiˈhɛn.ʃən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: psychological /ˌsaɪ.kəˈlɑː.d͡ʒɪ.kl̩/, phenomenon /fəˈnɒm.ɪ.nən/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, unacceptable /ˌʌn.ækˈsɛp.tə.bl̩/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: twist /twɪst/, weakness /ˈwik.nɪs/, warrior /ˈwɔɹi.ɚ/, inadequate /ɪnˈædəkwɪt/, backward /ˈbækwɚd/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: trigger /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/, twist /twɪst/, trauma /ˈtɹɔm.ə/, stupidity /stuˈpɪdɪti/, hugely /ˈhjuːd͡ʒli/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: apparent /əˈpæɹənt/, unacceptable /ˌʌn.ækˈsɛp.tə.bl̩/, inadequate /ɪnˈædəkwɪt/, anticipate /ænˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, backward /ˈbækwɚd/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; bully, ugly, awful gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.