Shadowing Practice: The Worst Form of Immaturity - Learn English Speaking with Video
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One of the things that we established when we were looking at the developmental course of maturation, so tell me what you think about this.
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So it seems to me that a lot of what we see as narcissism is actually something like prolonged immaturity.
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Now, it's a little more complicated than that.
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So the little kids that we studied, and this is true of those who've studied little kids in general
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so there's about five percent of males at the age of two who hit kick bite and steal
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when you put them with other two-year-olds and they're almost all male
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and there's only one in 20 and
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so you could say most two-year-olds aren't psychopathic narcissists by by temperament
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so these are probably the boys who are disagreeable extroverts by temperament right and so they're competitive,
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they're pushy, and when they're very young, they're impulsive.
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Now, most of them are socialized by the age of four.
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Now, our studies of long-term criminality indicated that it was the minority of
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that 5% who weren't socialized by the age of four that became the long-term predatory criminals.
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And it was very difficult to do anything about that after the age four.
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But that's also made me think more recently that what we're seeing as that narcissistic,
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predatory parasitism is probably something like a failure of maturation.
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It's like, rather than being a pathology in and of itself, it's just the maintenance of self-centered immaturity far beyond its expiry date.
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And so I'm wondering what you think of a formulation like that.
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I like that idea and that there is an immaturity to narcissism.
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Just to take it in a little bit of a Freudian direction, it seems you can think,
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you know, if you think about it in terms of sort of Freud's developmental model,
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the narcissism is like being stuck in the phallic stage a little bit rather than being stuck in, say, the oral stage or anal
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So I don't think it's just there can be different types of being immature.
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I think that- Right, right, right.
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It's not dependent, for example.
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Yeah, you're not a dependent, not like, I just need someone to take care of me.
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I'm 50 years old.
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It's more, you get stuck in this, like I should say adolescent, this childish, phallic, masculine, I'm going to do this.
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I'm going to get this.
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And you get stuck in that.
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And that model, you know, you can use it as an adult, but it's kind of like you're a little bit of a cartoon.
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And so that's something I see that it's like you're a cartoon child acting like an adult, like I'm a big deal,
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like the guys that try to be alpha.
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And I'm like, yeah, dude.
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So yeah, I do see.
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Calm down there, buddy.
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Yeah, calm down.
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Come on.
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So I do see that for sure.
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But I do think it's sort of one path in development that you don't develop.
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It's not all the paths.
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Yeah.
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Well, I think that's a good distinction because it shines a light on another sociological or psychological phenomena.
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So one of the things that we see is the rise to a certain type of stardom of people like Andrew Tate.
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And the Andrew Tate phenomenon has really interested me because I have some sympathy for him.
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Now it's limited, but it's limited in the way that you just described.
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So you could imagine that the worst form of immaturity, the most counterproductive form of immaturity would be something like,
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well, the Freudian oral stage.
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If we reformulated that in more modern terminology, that would be something like prolonged infantile immaturity.
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So you're basically stuck as a dependent, right?
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And so you have no, all your locus of control is external.
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All you do is whine to get people to deliver to you what you want.
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Now that's perfectly acceptable if you're six months old, although you could even use smiling at that point and as an invitation.
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But then you might imagine that if you are stuck at that dependent stage and you have a impulse for maturation,
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if someone who was more narcissistic and aggressive came along, they would actually look attractive to you because first of all,
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it would be better to be, it's better to be a narcissistic extrovert than it is to be a dependent infant.
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That doesn't mean it's good, right?
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But it does mean that it's better.
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Yeah.
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Well, and you can think about that from an evolutionary biological perspective too,
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because it's definitely the case that manipulative psychopaths can be successful in finding sexual partners.
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Whereas infantile dependent men, they're just not going anywhere on that side of things because they can't,
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like no women, virtually no women are attracted to infantile dependent men.
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some women are attracted to narcissistic blowhards, right?
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So yeah, is that in keeping with your understanding of the developmental progression?
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Yeah.
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I mean, I think it makes sense.
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And I like how you're saying that.
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Like, look, dude, it's better to be narcissistic and full of yourself if you're a guy than just be a dependent loser.
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But that isn't the highest stage of male development isn't being a peacock.
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It's helping.
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It's being a provider.
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It's doing more than that.
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It's leading a family.
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It's leading people.
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But again, it is better to be narcissistic than just dependent.
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So yeah, it makes sense.
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Oh, you mentioned Andrew Tate.
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I'm kind of old for this,
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but I see a lot of younger guys that are attracted to this more sort of alpha in quotes personality model.
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And I understand it too, because they're not getting a lot of really good male role models out there.
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So they see one that looks sort of cartoonish and seems functional
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and seems to have some agency
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and seems to be navigating life effectively in a way that would be appealing to a 15-year-old guy.
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And so I understand it.
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I just wish we had better role models, you know, but I understand it.
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It might also be, well, it might also be that there is a a time at which that's actually developmentally appropriate.
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So, you know, one of the things we found in our analysis of the development of psychopathology, so imagine with teenagers, okay,
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imagine there's two patterns of, three patterns of living with the rules,
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say when you're 13 to 15 and you're a male.
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Now, it also applies to females, but less so because they're not as aggressive.
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So imagine that you're a 13 to 15-year-old male who never breaks a rule ever.
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Okay, now imagine you're a 13 to 15-year-old and you break a rule all the time, And then imagine that you're somewhere in the middle.
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Okay, so that's the whole distribution.
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Well, the males who never break a rule, they are at higher risk for dependent personality disorder,
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for depression and anxiety later in life.
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Now, the ones on the other end of the spectrum are much more at risk for lifetime criminality,
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let's say, and substance abuse, violence, and all that.
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So there's pathology associated with both extremes with regards to rules.
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Now, the kids in the middle, they are going to experiment.
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And so now you can imagine that if you're a kid who comes from a good home and you're pretty rule oriented,
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there might well be a time between the ages of 13 and 15 or 16,
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something like that, where it's actually appropriate for you to admire the rule breakers to some degree,
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because that's one of the things that pops you out of that childhood dependence on your parents, right?
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But hopefully you would supersede that as you mature.
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And that is the pattern for most men, right?
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I mean, criminality drops off like mad around 25.
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And so does substance abuse, something like that.
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And that's often when men who are like men, women like men, four to five years older.
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And so it makes sense that it's about 25 or so that men start to get their act together.
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And that's when they take that step beyond the more narcissistic
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and showy aspects of masculinity and take on these roles
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that are oriented towards a longer time span and a broader social horizon.
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What you're making me think of is the classic, you know, Jack Block's work on, you know, drug use in Berkeley back in the 70s.
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It was the people who didn't use any and used too much that got into trouble.
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And then there's this golden mean in the middle.
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And you see that golden mean in a lot of things where you want to have a little edge, but not too much edge.
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You don't want to be perfectly moral, but you don't want to be immoral.
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There's always that little bit of edge.
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And you're right, developmentally, I think it's appropriate for young guys to kind of go to
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that little darker side for a while, maybe.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu konuşma dersi “The Worst Form of Immaturity” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: dependent, imagine, narcissistic, male, rule. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 121 cümle ve 1511 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 9:16 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 163 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %84’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| dependent sıfat | /dɪˈpɛndənt/ | bağımlı, bağlı |
| aggressive sıfat | /əˈɡɹɛs.ɪv/ | saldırgan, agresif |
| alpha isim | /ˈæl.fə/ | alfa |
| substance isim | /ˈsʌbstəns/ | madde |
| phenomenon isim | /fəˈnɒm.ɪ.nən/ | fenomen |
| pathology isim | /pəˈθɒləd͡ʒi/ | patoloji |
| complicated sıfat | /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/ | karışık, komplike |
| establish fiil | /ɪˈstæb.lɪʃ/ | yerleştirmek |
| moral sıfat | /ˈmoɹəl/ | ahlakî, ahlaki |
| anxiety isim | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | kaygı, endişe |
| steal fiil | /stiːl/ | çalmak |
| buddy | /ˈbʌdi/ | ahbap |
| associate isim | /əˈsoʊʃi.ət/ | iştirakçi, ortak |
| lifetime isim | /ˈlaɪf.taɪm/ | ömür, yaşam |
| experiment isim | /ɪkˈspɛɹ.ə.mənt/ | deney (n), tecrübe |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| calm down fiil | sakinleşmek |
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | are socialized · weren't socialized · being stuck |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | someone who was · kid who comes · men who are |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | who've studied · has really interested |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, they're, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 44 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: pathology /pəˈθɒləd͡ʒi/, sympathy /ˈsɪm.pəθ.i/, psychopath /ˈsaɪkəʊpæθ/, psychopathic /ˌsaɪkoʊˈpæθɪk/, psychopathology /ˌsaɪ̯kɒpəˈθɒlədʒɪ/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: establish /ɪˈstæb.lɪʃ/, associate /əˈsoʊʃi.ət/, shine /ʃaɪn/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, distinction /dɪˈstɪŋkʃən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: developmental /dɪˌvɛləpˈmɛntəl/, phenomenon /fəˈnɒm.ɪ.nən/, pathology /pəˈθɒləd͡ʒi/, complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/, virtually /ˈvɚ.t͡ʃə.wə.li/, whine /ˈwaɪ̯n/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: steal /stiːl/, whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/, spin /spɪn/, spectrum /ˈspɛktɹəm/, provider /pɹəˈvaɪ.də(ɹ)/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: attract /əˈtɹækt/, alpha /ˈæl.fə/, establish /ɪˈstæb.lɪʃ/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, aspect /ˈæspɛkt/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; dependent, aggressive, alpha gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.