Shadowing Practice: Why Parents Bully Their Children - Learn English Speaking with Video
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What is the most strange and saddest phenomena of psychological life?
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One of the strangest and saddest phenomena of psychological life is that there are parents, too many parents, who end up,
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while sometimes only half realizing it, bullying their own children.
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Why do parents bully their children?
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In short, in order to try to feel better about themselves themselves.
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Because they suffer intensely in the very same area that they are choosing to bully their child in.
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Someone made them feel awful and they surmise,
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by twisted logic, that they will feel better through the process of making their own child feel very bad indeed.
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They aren't doing it personally.
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The child is just collateral damage to a misguided project of healing and an attenuation of symptoms.
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It doesn't make any sense, of course, but But it may actually work for the parent for a time.
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Let's imagine a parent who harbours a terrible fear of being stupid.
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Somewhere in their own past, they were belittled and made to feel hugely inadequate.
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Now a child comes along, their own child, full of the normal hesitations and weaknesses of early infancy.
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Without really realising what they're up to, the parent grows inflamed and incensed by this child's apparent stupidity
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and starts to mock and attack in another person what they fear and hate in themselves.
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It makes them feel a bit better.
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The child becomes a repository of all that they fail to tolerate in themselves.
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They, the child, are the dumb one, so they, the parent, don't have to be.
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They, the child, are the stupid and ugly one, so they, the parent, don't have to be.
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And therefore, the parent is liberated to live more easily within itself self.
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The bad is contained and localised.
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It can't be in them if it's all in little him or her.
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It can take bullied children a very long time to realise that they have even been bullied.
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They don't after all grow up thinking
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that someone else has actually made them feel stupid or made them feel ugly or made them feel soiled,
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let alone their own parent whom they depend on and admire and long to be loved by.
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They simply think that they are stupid, ugly and soiled.
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There is no call for an explanation or a cause.
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Yet, if we are those now grown -up bullied children, we don't need to wonder too much more about what might have happened to us.
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We simply need to take stock of how we feel about ourselves
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and guess that the terrible judgements and sensations that we have about ourselves did not arise spontaneously.
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The feelings we harbour of ourselves are legacies of real occurrences in the world.
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Someone who isn't necessarily owning up to it made us feel a certain way
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and that is why now we are in such pain.
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Typically, those who've been bullied don't look backwards.
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Their illnesses point them relentlessly to the present and the future.
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The bullied anticipate terrible things happening to them that echo events
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that once happened to them but that they don't remember in any way.
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They are causeless paranoiacs, self -haters and warriors.
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Catastrophe is never far away.
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A person feels they're ugly because two decades ago a mother made them feel as such.
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A person feels they've done something very wrong because even further back someone did something very wrong to them.
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The fear contains the imprint of unconscious history.
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We overcome our bullying when we learn to discriminate between what actually belongs to us and what was placed in us.
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Between who we are and what we've been told we are.
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Between how our caregivers like to present themselves and what they've actually done.
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Our triggers and apprehensions lie along the fault lines of our early traumas.
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So they can guide us back to what we suffered through when we are ready to explore.
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We're on our way to overcoming bullying when we can say at last, I'm not ugly, I was made to feel unacceptable.
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I haven't done anything wrong.
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Something wrong was done to me.
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And in general, I am not awful.
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Something awful happened to me.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles is gebaseerd op de video “Why Parents Bully Their Children”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: parent, bullied, ugly, themselves, stupid. Deze video bevat 54 zinnen en 701 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 4:07. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 170 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 84% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| bully zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈbʊli/ | wreedaard, pestkop |
| ugly bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈʌɡli/ | lelijk |
| awful bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈɔːfʊl/ | verschrikkelijk, vreselijk |
| suffer werkwoord | /ˈsʌfɚ/ | lijden |
| soil zelfstandig naamwoord | /sɔɪl/ | grond, aarde |
| overcome werkwoord | /ˌəʊ.vəˈkʌm/ | overwinnen |
| psychological bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˌsaɪ.kəˈlɑː.d͡ʒɪ.kl̩/ | psychologisch |
| phenomenon zelfstandig naamwoord | /fəˈnɒm.ɪ.nən/ | fenomeen, verschijnsel |
| necessarily bijwoord | /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/ | nodig, noodzakelijk |
| explanation zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/ | verklaring, toelichting |
| illness zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈɪl.nəs/ | ziekte, aandoening |
| belong werkwoord | /bɪˈlɒŋ/ | thuishoren, horen |
| legacy zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈlɛɡəsi/ | legaat |
| apparent bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /əˈpæɹənt/ | zichtbaar, evident |
| explore werkwoord | /ɪkˈsploɹ/ | onderzoeken, bestuderen |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| grow up werkwoord | opgroeien |
| end up werkwoord | belanden, terechtkomen |
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | were belittled · is liberated · is contained |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have even been bullied · has actually made · who've been bullied |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 19 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, they're, they've. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, unconscious /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəs/, sensation /sɛnˈseɪʃən/, hesitation /ˌhɛzɪˈteɪʃən/, apprehension /æp.ɹiˈhɛn.ʃən/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: psychological /ˌsaɪ.kəˈlɑː.d͡ʒɪ.kl̩/, phenomenon /fəˈnɒm.ɪ.nən/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, explanation /ˌɛkspləˈneɪʃən/, unacceptable /ˌʌn.ækˈsɛp.tə.bl̩/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: depend /dɪˈpɛnd/, arise /əˈɹaɪz/, backward /ˈbækwɚd/, misguided /ˌmɪsˈɡaɪdɪd/, surmise /sɚˈmaɪz/
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: apparent /əˈpæɹənt/, unacceptable /ˌʌn.ækˈsɛp.tə.bl̩/, inadequate /ɪnˈædəkwɪt/, anticipate /ænˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, backward /ˈbækwɚd/
- /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: ugly /ˈʌɡli/, legacy /ˈlɛɡəsi/, trigger /ˈtɹɪɡɚ/, caregiver /ˈkɛɹɡɪvɚ/, misguided /ˌmɪsˈɡaɪdɪd/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als bully, ugly, awful.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.