Pratique du Shadowing: How To Make Friends - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
Création de la leçon...
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Friends make life good.
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They provide the scaffolding that makes it not just bearable, but fun.
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They give us a sense of meaning and purpose, and are a source of security, self-esteem and happiness.
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Almost nothing predicts how happy you will be as how connected you feel, and a lack of social connection is associated with a number of diseases and a shorter life.
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But maybe you have scrolled through your phone, unsure who to call to go to a movie with, a movie with, to celebrate with, or ask for comfort.
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You may realize that you don't have enough friends and feel lonely.
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And it's not just you.
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Disconnectedness and loneliness are widespread.
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Many people want more close friends but don't know how to get them.
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Surprisingly, nowadays, loneliness is highest among young people, whose relationships were also hit especially hard by the global pandemic.
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Social distancing stopped teens and young adults from mingling in classrooms, clubs or dorms.
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Millions of friendships, maybe lifelong friendships, that might have blossomed will never exist, with profound long-term consequences for our collective happiness.
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The good news is that it's not too late and there are lots of friends to be found.
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We'll mix scientific information with actionable advice in this video, but we can't address every individual situation.
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People, cultures and schedules are different.
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If you suffer from chronic loneliness, you can also watch the video we made about it.
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Okay, as with all important things in life, making friends is infuriatingly simple, but not necessarily easy.
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But it works through a few pretty straightforward mechanisms.
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The most important thing about making friends.
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People make friends with other people when they spend casual time together.
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This is how our ancestors formed their relationships because humans lived in small, close-knit communities in which options for making friends were limited,
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so we just formed good relationships with the people who were around us.
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This is why it's so easy to form new friendships in school and university.
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Society locks you and your peers in a building for several years.
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You share similar activities, but more importantly, similar schedules.
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Overlapping and fluctuating social circles form, naturally giving you regular face time and shared experiences with many different people.
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to find others with similar worldviews or senses of humor.
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Proximity can be more important than similar interests.
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One study found that in student dormitories, the distance between rooms was the strongest friendship predictor.
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Living closer together meant a higher chance of becoming friends.
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Another study showed that being physically present in a class a lot without saying a word makes others more sympathetic to you.
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So the most important principle of making friends is to regularly spend time with people in the real world.
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This alone can make it happen automatically and trumps all other advice.
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But don't forget that making friends is not a numbers game or a competition.
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Don't compare yourself to others.
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Everyone has a social calibrator that can change as you go through life.
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Maybe you were more introverted as a teen, but yearn for connection in your 20s.
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Maybe you were part of sprawling social circles, but prefer fewer friends in your 30s.
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There is no right or wrong, only right for you.
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Why we don't have enough friends?
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The main reason for a lack of friendships is the simple fact that most people don't prioritize friendships nearly enough.
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They don't realize until it's too late that retaining friendships demands regular energy and attention.
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Although they are so important for happiness, friends often take a backseat to other life decisions.
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Work, commuting, romance or kids take up so much time
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and energy that it's so much easier to crash on your couch and lose yourself in mindless activities.
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Especially as an adult, going for a bike ride, getting dinner or visiting a hobby store takes much more mental effort
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and commitment than it did after school when time ran slower and energy and curiosity were abundant.
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But it's not just adults who are too busy for friends.
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The average American teenager spends more time on TikTok every day than socializing at parties, events or on the phone with friends combined.
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Established friendships don't require the same time investment as early friendships to keep up, but they do require some commitment.
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Since life distracts you, it's easy to skip out on checking in when a friend goes through exciting or depressing times.
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And so many friendships fade for lack of attention, often by accident.
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Which is extra tragic because there is never only one person losing a friend, it's always at least two.
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Another thing that makes many people vulnerable is the way friendship networks are structured.
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The friendship paradox is the phenomenon that on average most people have fewer friends than their friends,
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which makes sense since you're more likely to be friends with someone who has many friends than with someone who has few.
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Rather than being densely interconnected, friend networks are often built around central hubs.
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So if central people disappear from your life, this can deprive you of many connections at once.
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And it can lead to a distorted self-perception that you are less popular than others although you are perfectly average.
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It can get worse quickly with big life events.
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you move for school, work or love and are left without social networks.
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Or you had a breakup that left you with the smaller part of the formerly shared social pie.
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The reasons why you find yourself with less connection than you want are as diverse as people, but the underlying cause is almost always time.
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There is no shortcut.
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To make new friends and retain friendships, you have to prioritize relationships, spend time with people in real life and make them feel that you care.
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So, take a look at yourself and rebalance what you spend your life doing.
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How to make new friends Studies have shown that new friendships can develop quite quickly, weeks after you meet someone.
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But it takes a few months for a casual friendship to become a close relationship,
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with the biggest impediment being time invested and the quality of your interactions.
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To make friends it helps
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if you intentionally look for people you have things in common with and who are open to new relationships.
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You want to make it easy for yourself, so examine what kind of person you are.
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Generally speaking, extroverts tend to crave sensory stimulation, spicier foods, loud music, or the excitement of engaging a crowd.
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Introverts often confused with shy people tend to be more sensitive to sensory stimulants
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and prefer quieter surroundings fewer people and even less spicy food
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Different places attract different people not everybody can easily make friends at a bar
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or a football game Not everybody finds a stroll through a park or a bookstore stimulating
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Men especially form friendships around shared activities, but in general It's a good idea to go to places
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that feel comfortable where there are people you might like who do things you find interesting
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Look for local clubs or opportunities to volunteer.
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Check out what hobby stores are around and dust off your space marines
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or see if there are new D&D groups in your city and ask if you could join one.
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Check meet-up apps for gaming nights or wine tasting, join a sports club or look for people who go hiking or want to cook together.
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Another obvious avenue is your professional life.
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It helps if you work in a job that attracts people like you, so you might consider this when you choose a career.
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Deepening your relationship with colleagues can lead to great friendships, especially if you look for peers and there is no power imbalance.
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And of course, there are friends you've lost touch with.
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You may be able to revive some of these relationships.
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In some cases, all it needs is a call or an invitation.
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Research shows that more often than not, the other person will appreciate that you've reached out.
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There are likely way more opportunities to spend time with others than you are aware of aware of.
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And if there aren't, you can take the initiative and create them.
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Invitations are signals to start friendships.
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So bring people together by having a dinner party, organizing a football game after work, or starting a board game group.
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Everybody appreciates people who organize fun things and the simple act of reaching out can kick-start a self-propelling upward spiral of well-being,
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fun and connectedness that can seriously improve the life of everyone around you in meaningful ways.
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If you meet someone you vibe with, it's pretty scary to make the first move, but they may feel the same way.
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Equally interested in a friendship, but also blocked by fear of rejection.
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So it's worth going for it.
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Worst case, they're not interested, which will sting for a few hours, but the best case could be a lifelong friendship.
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A risk well worth the reward.
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Once you've formed early connections, check in whether they have of important things happening in their life.
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Of course, it's important not to be overbearing, but the more time you invest, the more opportunity you have to engage in meaningful banter or silly jokes.
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The fact that friendships take time also means that you need to be patient and kind with yourself, especially if you're out of practice.
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Things will not improve overnight, but slowly, step by step, if you keep up.
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Open up care and share Many people don't have an issue being around others, but struggle to turn acquaintances into friends
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So let's talk about two important principles that make it more likely that you'll connect
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caring and sharing in general our favorite topic is ourselves
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and the things we care about because we are literally at the center of our own universe.
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So people tend to like people who are genuinely interested in them.
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So if you want to make friends your goals should be trying to learn what makes them tick.
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Just as important as caring about others is reciprocity and openness.
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To connect you need to share the experiences that made you, you.
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Now you don't want to overwhelm the other person
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and immediately spill out your deepest secrets but open up a little and reveal personal things
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because this also signals to others that it's okay to do the same.
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The best case is that you find shared experiences.
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Maybe you both had a hard time in school, maybe you share a passion for weird movies.
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Learning about others and sharing personal stories in a balanced way and not overdoing it is not an exact science.
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Noticing the line between opening up and oversharing requires practice and depends on the vibe of the conversation.
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One of the perplexities of life is that to get something, it can be helpful to convince yourself that you want it less than you do.
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In general, it's good to be laid back, have fun, and enjoy yourself.
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Do things for yourself without expectations, but also be open to social opportunities and accept invitations if they show up.
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And that's basically it.
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Give friendships more priority in your life.
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Check in with friends and regularly go to things to have fun.
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Show genuine interest in others and give them the opportunity to know you without selling yourself too hard.
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If you do this, you're on track.
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If this sounds a bit scary, the good news is that human brains are hardwired to seek connection.
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It's perfectly normal to seek out new friends and there are many people who would welcome more close relationships.
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There are friendships up for grabs everywhere
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and there are plenty of people who will be so happy to have you in their life as a good friend friend.
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Go get to know them.
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We want to be part of your friendship journey, so we've created a few things you can share with new and old friends.
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Two wormhole pins to connect you and your BFF, no matter where you are.
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If you want to share something with your entire friend group, get a little bird pin for each of them.
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They're all unique, but fit together like pieces of a puzzle.
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Or get matching posters to let your friends know you're thinking of them.
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Or just browse all the sciencey things we made for you.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « How To Make Friends ». Cette vidéo contient 139 phrases et 2084 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 11:47. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 177 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 84 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| loneliness nom | /ˈloʊnlinəs/ | solitude |
| invitation nom | /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/ | invitation |
| prioritize verbe | /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/ | prioriser |
| sensory adjectif | /ˈsɛn.sə.ɹi/ | sensoriel |
| spicy adjectif | /ˈspaɪsi/ | épicé, piquant |
| vibe nom | /vaɪb/ | vibe, aura |
| hobby nom | /ˈhɑ.bi/ | passe-temps, hobby |
| organize verbe | /ˈɔɹɡənaɪz/ | organiser |
| peer nom | /pɪɹ/ | pair, pareil (pareille f) |
| meaningful adjectif | /ˈmiː.nɪŋ.fl̩/ | significatif, qui a du sens |
| actionable adjectif | /ˈæk.ʃə.nə.bəl/ | concret |
| ancestor nom | /ˈæn.sɛs.tɚ/ | ancêtre |
| banter verbe | /ˈbæntə/ | badiner |
| bearable adjectif | /ˈbɛəɹəbəɫ/ | vivable, supportable |
| deepen verbe | /ˈdiːpən/ | approfondir |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| open up verbe | ouvrir |
| go through verbe | traverser |
| keep up verbe | maintenir, conserver |
| reach out verbe | tendre la main |
| check out verbe | mater, regarder |
| show up verbe | apparaître, se montrer se pointer |
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | is associated · were also hit · be found |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | people who were · someone who has · people who go |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | have scrolled · have shown · you've lost |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 24 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, you're, you've. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, actionable /ˈæk.ʃə.nə.bəl/, shortcut /ˈʃɔːtkʌt/, socialize /ˈsoʊʃəlaɪz/, stimulation /stɪm.jʊˈleɪ.ʃən/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/, actionable /ˈæk.ʃə.nə.bəl/, dormitory /ˈdɔɹ.mɪˌtɔɹ.i/, impediment /ɪmˈpɛdɪmənt/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hobby /ˈhɑ.bi/, humour /ˈhjuːmɚ/, hike /haɪk/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: fluctuate /ˈflʌkt͡ʃu.eɪt/, rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, tragic /ˈtɹæd͡ʒɪk/, teenager /ˈtiːnˌeɪ̯d͡ʒə/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/, sensory /ˈsɛn.sə.ɹi/, organize /ˈɔɹɡənaɪz/, peer /pɪɹ/, retain /ɹəˈteɪn/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme loneliness, invitation, prioritize.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.