Shadowing Practice: How to Detach from People and Situations | @Thewizardliz - Learn English Speaking with Video
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250 משפטים
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okay now going back to a little bit around the same topic
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so another question we got a lot of is now
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that we're on the topic of men
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and dating is you know nowadays i don't know
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if it's the way society is evolving or the changes in gender roles
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and traditional roles
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but now you see a lot of women are very successful right women are becoming more
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and more independent and very financially independent and therefore successful
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and you get these women these what you would term like high value
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which i don't really like high value women are the ones struggling to find a partner why do you think
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that is i think because um a lot of men are insecure
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and a lot of men take their value from being successful
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so when you take that away and you have a woman
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that is more successful for than you
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that becomes a competition for them you know
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and i think that's actually sad because i I think people don't teach men to, like, for example, be more in touch with their emotions,
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develop other skills than just making money, because then they can also get their value from those things.
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But right now, because they put men on such a pedestal for so long, and they just poured into young men and whatever,
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and women were just the housemakers, right?
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Because they made that such a big thing.
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Now you're sitting with all these men yeah they they just know okay i'll get my value
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if i'm successful
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if i'm successful i'm a good man no like look at
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your morals who like who are you as a person get to know yourself better
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and that's how you build
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that confidence a confident man will not get intimidated by successful woman never ever ever
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but there's just not enough confident men no and even you know
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when you look at masculinity
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so that's one question we got for you actually from my audience
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which was you know there's kind of like a rise in
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like soft masculinity you know where i don't know you must
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have seen all of these funny reels where you know it's
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like men want the princess treatment now they they don't want
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to be the first one to text they don't want to
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be the one to pay the whole 50 50 situation
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that is coming up but do you think
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that is also causing an issue with men just like understanding their role
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and their position in society now i think men have always gotten the princess treatment
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always i think there has never been another time the amount of standards men have for women is insane okay
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but the minute you have a woman
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that says like hey provide you know like take care of
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me it's like no you're a goldie girl how dare you say
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that but how many men would date an unattractive woman exactly they wouldn't they just simply wouldn't okay
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because they have that standard if you're unattractive i don't want to date you
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but once a woman has a standard and it's like if If you're a broke guy, and with broke guys, I don't mean men that are poor.
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No. I mean men that don't know how to create abundance.
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And that's a big, big issue.
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See, for example, for me, a broke man, how I classify it, is like my dad.
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My dad refused to work.
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He doesn't want to work.
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He doesn't want to figure out how to work.
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He made my mom work her whole life, and she was taking care of him.
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Okay?
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He didn't respect himself, and he didn't respect my mother.
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It was just not in balance at all
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and my mom had to be hyper masculine to make up for the lack of masculine energy in the house.
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Right?
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Now, when you have that, a person that doesn't know how to be abundant, that's a broke guy.
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Okay.
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It doesn't matter how much money he makes as long as he's trying that's an abundant man
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because a lot of people they especially women they think like
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oh i just need a rich man i've dated a very
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wealthy guy probably the wealthiest guy i've ever dated he was not generous at all brokey yeah
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so that's a broke man
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because what do i have with you you're showing me every day how much money you're making but
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what do I have with it?
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What do I care how much money you made?
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You know?
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So it's like, that's like just the difference.
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Like when a man doesn't know how to be abundant, that's the big issue.
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So men wanting the princess, I think they always had that, right?
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So it's like, they always had a standard for a woman.
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They always had like, you have to behave like this and blah, blah.
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And even like before when women were supposed to be housemakers, there were
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so many standards you're supposed to cook you're supposed to clean you're supposed to take care of the kids
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and look good on top of that and
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if you don't i'm gonna cheat on you and
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if you do i'm gonna cheat on you
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so it's like women had to accept that
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but then you had women for example that have a platform like me
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that came on and were like stop accepting it
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and it's like let's have standards you know let's have standards as a collective
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and because of that yeah you have what you have right now
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which is very successful women because they started believing in themselves instead of a man
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and chasing what they want
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and being who they want to be instead of chasing a man
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and like taking their value from being with a man
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because that's also a huge issue
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that women are facing you know they think like oh my god
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if i'm not married by this age or
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if i don't have children then i failed as a woman
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but who said that society your parents your culture who said
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that who set that standard for women who said that
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if a woman has her period she's dirty she
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that like that's dirty who said all these things
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if men could get their period
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and could get pregnant we would not be able to meet
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their standards the they would have standards through the roof the like anything
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that even is like um like tampons all these things it would be free it will be free yeah free
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and they would have made like uh medic medicine
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or something to solve like cramps
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and everything it would help you to help them massage tools
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at work yeah days off days off paid yes no for
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sure women would not be able to meet their standards no no
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and that's the thing i'm so glad you touched on this
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because this this has come up many times in conversations with my guests on the podcast
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and even with my friends i keep seeing this because now that women are getting in their mid-30s and late 30s, they're starting to worry.
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And all of these friends that I have, or even guests that I've met, one of them even said on the podcast that, you know, I feel like I have the villa that I always wanted.
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I have my cars, I have my six-figure business, and I sit in my house alone.
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And now I'm thinking, did I go wrong?
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Should I have focused on finding a husband?
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Should I have focused on having kids younger?
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Because that's when you are at your peak on the sexual market value, if you want to call it that.
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And now she's like, now what do I do?
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And now I see this kind of like, I don't know how to explain it other than passive depression
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that is rampant around where you see all these successful women
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who at the end of the day come home to like a quiet apartment
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and they are sad and they feel like they went wrong somewhere.
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What would you say to these people?
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I think that the grass is always greener on the other side i know
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that there's a lot of married women
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that wish they could come home to an empty house i swear like they have glamorized having children
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and married so much
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and people don't see the behind the scenes they always like show you the pretty picture
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but all the work
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that is behind the scenes all the arguments all the compromises all the things
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that cheating that happens
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and then you have to think oh my god do i want to stay married
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because i don't want to lose face in under you know in front of other people
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so i just stay married with a cheating husband
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and i just look nice in front of everyone
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and then someone looks at them and think oh i wish i had
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that no you don't you don't know what's going on in
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someone's house behind closed doors you know my parents like everyone
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that knew them they thought like oh father's a great guy
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such an amazing man such a religious man they would say you know behind closed doors
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that was literally the devil himself you know
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you never know what is going on so i would say never glamorize something
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if i think right now right now about having children
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and a husband that's a huge responsibility huge i i rather
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right now in this position of my life have my business make my own money and be independent
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and whoever comes into my life they can add to it but i'm not thinking like let me right now
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start a family because i know that will take
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so much of my time and energy into the family you know
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if i want to raise it in a way
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that i would want which is with full attention and everything
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so it all depends on like do you really want that
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or do you want to create a perfect picture for society
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because we have to really go back to the beliefs
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that we have because why do we have that
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because it's also it's not only women it's the same with men right
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if you don't get married as a man oh you're not
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a man you're not you have to you're not a father
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oh my god you're already late 30s you're not a father
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it's like why push things upon people some people don't want
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that that's okay some people do then yeah you find a
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way you date around you see does this match with me
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but don't do it because you feel like you're losing time
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because i feel like everything in life comes at the right time at divine timing
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when it's when it's meant for you when something is not meant for you, it will not happen no matter what you do.
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When something is meant for you, no one can take that from you ever.
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It will come in like in the most miraculous ways it will come.
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So just let it go.
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Women need to start letting stuff go.
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That is the biggest thing.
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Tell me how Liz.
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No, that is the biggest thing.
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Look, right before, this was actually a month ago, like one and a half months ago, I was so obsessed with the outcome.
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I became very masculine because I didn't have anyone supporting me.
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So I felt like I was completely alone, okay?
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So I was like, oh my God, I need to have this.
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I need to have this.
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I need to figure something out.
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And I was going crazy.
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So I was focused so much on my career and I was literally losing it, okay?
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And then I went back home because mentally I was not doing well.
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So I went back home to my mom and I went home.
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And then the second day I arrived, I went to walk in nature.
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And I always tell people, go walk in nature because nature is healing, right?
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The trees, the plants, all these things, these are living beings.
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I even tell people like, put your back or your hands against a tree.
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It will remove any energy that's not serving you because that's how we work with each other.
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But people don't know these things or they don't want to try these things.
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So they don't get like really further in life.
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Anyway, so I went and I walked in nature and I started talking to God.
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And I always used to do this thing a lot, like especially in the beginning of my career, like talking to God and having conversations like he's my best friend.
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Oh my God, I see the same thing, you know, we're going to talk about it.
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Yeah, keep going.
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Sorry.
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So then I was like, I was walking in nature and I started talking to him and I said, God, like, I can't take this anymore.
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Like, not like this.
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I'm like, I want to do what I have to do on this earth and complete my mission, but not like this, not on my own.
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And I feel very bad.
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And I said, like, I don't want to live anymore.
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And that was really my mental state.
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Like, I don't want to be here anymore, but I'm not going to do it myself.
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So you do it.
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Okay.
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You please take my life.
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So I was like, I said that and then all of a sudden while I was walking, I heard like, wanting nothing gives you everything.
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I heard that sentence in my head.
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And then I kept walking and I started repeating it out loud.
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I was like, wanting nothing gives you everything.
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And then I understood, wanting nothing gives you everything.
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I was too focused on, I need to have this.
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I need to have fun.
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I need to have work.
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I need to have this.
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I need to be bigger and bigger and I was too focused on them.
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So what I realized was if I just let go of, I don't want anything anymore.
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Like you handle it here, give it to God, you handle it.
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You know, when I did that, everything I've ever wanted came and it came so fast.
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Like these past one and a half months, my life has changed 360.
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I've probably never been happier than I am right now.
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Yeah, which is crazy.
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But it was the minute I just let it go.
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I was like, I don't care anymore.
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And you know, this is, you can see it, for example, and you know why this is also the thing?
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When you let something go, you take your power back.
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You take your energy from that thing back.
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Now, when you are too focused on things, for example, let's say you're obsessing over an ex, okay?
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The minute you stop wanting that ex, all of a sudden he texts you.
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All of a sudden he calls you.
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He's now obsessed with you.
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He comes back, yeah.
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Why?
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You took your energy back.
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The minute you take back your energy from all these things and you are now whole by yourself, those things become attracted to you
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and they want to be with you instead of you wanting to be with them because nothing likes desperation.
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Desperation is a repulsive energy.
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When you are desperate, you have a lack mindset.
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You don't believe that this earth is abundant and this earth is very abundant.
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God gave us everything.
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This is another thing that people always tell me like, oh, how dare you?
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You're asking for too much.
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Oh, why do you want these things?
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But there's billionaires on this earth like multiple multiple billionaires yeah
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why can i not have even 10 of what they have
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what does it matter money is is a is an abundant
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source as well you know money gives you freedom that's the only reason why i ever wanted money for freedom
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because i can go where i want i can do what i want i can help people in a way
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that i want right so if
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that is on earth why can i not have it
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if god made this earth so abundant anything that is on this earth i can have and i will get
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whenever I think to myself, okay, I want that, but I just want it and I don't focus on it like in a desperate way.
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But I know I have a goal in the back of my mind, but I'm not desperate for it.
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Right?
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That's when it comes.
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Oh, wow.
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Okay, I love that.
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משחק אוצר מיליםלמד תוך כדי משחק
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “How to Detach from People and Situations”. This video has 250 sentences and 2831 words to shadow. The speech runs for 13:56. The speaker talks fast, about 203 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| abundant adjective | /əˈbʌn.dənt/ | Fully sufficient; found in copious supply; in great quantity; overflowing. |
| cheat verb | /ˈt͡ʃiːt/ | To violate rules in order to gain, or attempt to gain, advantage from a situation. |
| obsess verb | /əbˈsɛs/ | To be preoccupied with a single topic or emotion. |
| masculine adjective | /ˈmæskjələn/ | Of or pertaining to the male gender. |
| glamorize verb | To make or give the appearance of being glamorous. | |
| housemaker noun | /ˈhaʊs.meɪ.kə/ | homemaker |
| masculinity noun | /ˌmæskjəˈlɪnɪti/ | The degree or property of being masculine or manly; manliness. |
| unattractive adjective | Not handsome or beautiful or appealing. | |
| desperation noun | /ˌdɛspəˈɹeɪʃən/ | The act of despairing or becoming desperate; a giving up of hope. |
| billionaire noun | /ˌbɪl.jəˈnɛɚ/ | Somebody whose wealth is at least one billion (10⁹) currency units (usually understood to exclude holders of hyperinflated currencies). |
| podcast noun | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | A program, especially an audio program, produced on a regular basis, delivered over the Internet in a compressed digital format and designed for playback on… |
| classify verb | /ˈklæs.əˌfaɪ/ | to identify by or divide into classes; to categorize |
| goldie noun | Something which is golden in color. | |
| intimidate verb | /ɪnˈtɪmɪdeɪt/ | To make timid or afraid; to cause to feel fear or nervousness; to deter, especially by threats of violence. |
| medick noun | Any of various European and North African herbs, of the genus Medicago, several of which are grown for fodder etc. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| come up verb | To emerge or become known, especially unexpectedly. |
| go back verb | To return to a place or state after having been there at a previous time. |
| go back to verb | To stem from; to originate in. |
| come back verb | To return to a place. |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
| take back verb | To retract or withdraw (an earlier statement). |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- What do I care how much money you made?
- And now I'm thinking, did I go wrong?
- Should I have focused on finding a husband?
- Should I have focused on having kids younger?
- What would you say to these people?
דקדוק בסרטון הזה
המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:
| מבנה | בסרטון |
|---|---|
| הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו | have seen · have always gotten · has never been |
| משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר | women who said · want which is · Yeah, which is |
| סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה | is not meant · is meant |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 79 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, you're, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: desperation /ˌdɛspəˈɹeɪʃən/, massage /məˈsɑ(d)ʒ/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: masculinity /ˌmæskjəˈlɪnɪti/, desperation /ˌdɛspəˈɹeɪʃən/, intimidate /ɪnˈtɪmɪdeɪt/, miraculous /mɪˈɹæk.jʊ.ləs/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like abundant, cheat, obsess.
מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?
שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.