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Research shows that the same actions taken with different energy get you different results.
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Confidence makes you more likely to get what you want.
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And in this video, I want to tell you my science -backed formula to build extreme confidence using neuroscience.
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This is the formula that I use to completely shift my mindset.
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And it's the same formula that I give thousands of my clients all over the world that I coach.
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So strap in because this one's going to be good.
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And if you're new here, hi, I'm Emily, also known as M on the Brain.
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I'm a trained neuroscientist.
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I've got two degrees in neuroscience as well as many years of research experience in the lab.
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I am now a coach to people in over 55 countries all over the world.
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I help them rewire their brains, shift their energy, and completely change their lives.
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And I'm here to help you do the exact same thing.
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So now let's talk about my top 10 science -backed secrets for extreme confidence
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so that you can stop doubting yourself and actually start to make your dreams come true.
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Number one is to regulate your nervous system.
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People think that confidence is just a mindset, but it is also biology.
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When your nervous system is dysregulated, your prefrontal cortex activity actually turns down.
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Your prefrontal cortex is the same brain area that is important for confidence, for belief in yourself.
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It's the CEO of your brain.
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It helps you be the CEO of your life.
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And so when your nervous system is dysregulated,
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the exact brain area that you need to be strong and active for confidence is not there to support you.
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Biologically, you're not set up for success when it comes to confidence if you're dysregulated.
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Now, a few kind of signs that you are dysregulated, if you're just like, I have no idea, is my nervous system dysregulated?
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I don't know.
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Well, that looks like trouble relaxing.
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If you have trouble sleeping, trouble relaxing.
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If you are constantly overwhelmed stressed you feel like you're under this constant pressure maybe
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you feel anxious a lot of the time you're very irritable
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or easily triggered these can be signs that your nervous system is dysregulated
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and i'm sure you've felt this before on a day where you've slept really well the night before
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and you get a really good workout in it is way
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easier to feel confident versus a day where you slept terribly
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and you just wake up
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and you don't feel good you're you don't feel as confident why
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because biologically you are not set up for success
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when it comes to confidence now if you are someone who hears structure
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and you immediately kind of want to run for the hills because
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that feels too rigid i get it i have been diagnosed with adhd
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i am right there with you i don't like kind of super rigid schedules
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but structure is so important giving yourself some sort of structure
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and systems a solid morning routine that allows you to have flexibility within the routine is extremely, extremely important.
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Structure holds you in place so that you don't crumble to the ground like a cookie.
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I just use that example because I actually spoke at South by Southwest and I was talking about how important systems are, especially for focus.
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And I had a picture of a chocolate chip cookie on the slide and it was crumbling to the floor.
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And I was like, this is me without structure.
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Number two, stop rehearsing failure mentally.
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A lot of people are unknowingly practicing being insecure every single day.
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They walk around imagining the worst case scenario, imagining them failing.
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They speak to themselves like someone who is already losing.
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This is the way that neuroplasticity works.
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When you repeatedly practice externally, but also internally in your mind gets strengthened.
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So the thoughts that you repeatedly practice in your mind that you rehearse, that becomes your dominant way of thinking, feeling, and being.
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If you are rehearsing failure mentally every single day with your thoughts and imagination, you can't expect yourself to be confident.
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Your brain strengthens whatever you repeatedly simulate in your mind.
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So if you're walking around all day long just beating yourself up, imagining failure, talking to yourself unkindly, you can't expect yourself to feel confident.
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So check the way that you are talking to yourself.
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Talk to yourself like you would your best friend.
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I actually have a practice of this.
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If I catch myself maybe not giving myself the grace that I know I deserve,
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I will pause and imagine that my best friend is coming to me with the exact same issue.
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So whatever it is that you're holding against yourself right now, whether it be pressing snooze too many times,
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it can be as simple as that, right?
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Like, oh, I pressed snooze too many times.
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I didn't get the work done that I said I was going to get done.
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Whatever it is that you're replaying in your mind right now, whatever doubt that you're replaying in your mind right now,
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whatever negative thing that it is about yourself.
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Imagine your best friend walks up to you and says that thing to you.
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What would you say to them?
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Usually it's giving them grace, giving them love, showing them acceptance and being like, hey, you can't change the past.
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All you can do is do different moving forward
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we don't expect the people we love to be perfect like i don't know about you
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but i don't expect the people that i love to be perfect
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so you have to give yourself
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that same grace like why do we expect ourselves to be
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any different than we expect others to be give yourself the grace
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and the love and the acceptance that you deserve and
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that you give others another practice
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that i really like to do here is kind of pattern interrupts
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and the way that neuroplasticity again works is whatever you repeat, strengthen.
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So anytime that you catch yourself in a negative thought pattern about yourself, pause and give yourself three put -ups.
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You got to counterbalance the emotional intensity of whatever it is that you're practicing.
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But start also imagining best case scenarios.
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It's just so much more common for people to imagine worst case scenarios than best case scenarios.
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It's like, it's so interesting that imagining a worst case scenario, like what if this goes wrong is more normal and socially accepted than imagining,
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well, what if it all goes right?
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That's delusional.
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But imagining what if it all goes wrong isn't delusional.
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But the other half of number three is mirror work.
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When you practice looking at the image of you in the mirror while hyping yourself up, while saying affirmations out loud,
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while, you know, talking yourself up, maybe even while dancing.
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I like to dance in the mirror as well doing something
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that boosts dopamine standing in front of the mirror actually helps to rewire how your brain sees you
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because in case you didn't know you don't just see the world with your eyes
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you see the world with your brain all your eyes do is just take in light signals
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and those light signals travel through the brain and your thoughts emotions memories
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and beliefs are all incorporated before the image is put together
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that you see there there are differences in brain activity and people
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that have for example body dysmorphia they've shown differences in brain
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activity their brains are literally putting together the image of them differently
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it's not just all in their head their brains are literally constructing the image differently
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and so you can train your brain to construct the image of you differently one more thing about affirmations
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if you struggle to do them if you're just like i try to do them
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but i don't believe them then my logical mind is just like that's not true
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and i don't feel good doesn't make me feel good
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when i do them I had a client
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that was in the exact same situation somebody that I coached
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and something that really helped him was he actually got this old junk jet ski fixed it up
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and then every morning he would go out on the water next to where he lived
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and go out on his jet ski and listen to my affirmation tracks
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while on the jet ski and he found
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that they actually helped him feel good when he was already feeling good
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and this is so important it is
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so much easier to wire in a new positive of belief
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when you are already feeling good and so
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if you're feeling terrible it might be not be the best time to practice an affirmation
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but try combining it with dance or with something
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that you enjoy in the beginning for me
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i combined affirmations with going for a walk in the morning
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i would make a matcha actually at the time i was still on like four espresso shots a day
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so i think it was like espresso but i would make my latte
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and i would go out and i would walk throughout the city streets of austin
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because i went to ut austin at the time
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when i was beginning my journey and i would just walk
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and listen to these affirmations and say them out loud and
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because i was walking i could actually process them easier and
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when you walk actually your amygdala activity turns down
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so you kind of turn down the part of your brain
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that might resist
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because you're in optical flow it's actually a lot easier to absorb let's move into number four
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which is to build evidence aggressively now there are two parts to this the first part is to understand
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that you have already done hard things and you are doing way better than you give yourself credit for.
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Because I coach people all over the world
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and it's such a common thing that nobody gives themselves enough credit for what you're doing.
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Recognize that you've already done so much.
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So I want you, after you're done listening to this video, to sit down and write out a list of everything that you've ever accomplished.
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All of the reasons that you already are a winner.
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All the reasons you already have to be confident.
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I had a client that I coached and she actually printed out her resume.
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She printed out her resume and she put it on her bathroom mirror.
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And every morning when she went into her bathroom, she saw her resume and it reminded her that, oh yeah, I'm a badass.
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Like I've done so much.
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I have so many reasons to be confident because I've already completed and accomplished so much.
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Celebrate your wins.
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Give yourself more credit.
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But I told you there was a second part to this, and there is.
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It's to actually do things that you're not confident doing.
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Do more things.
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Get out there and do things.
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Build confidence through action.
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Post the video.
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Send the email.
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Set up the website.
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Make the call.
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Speak up for yourself.
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Go and do that hard workout.
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Take the risk and do things that challenge you more often.
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And when you do those things, pause at the end of your day and celebrate the win.
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Because if you don't do that, you're not cashing in on the wins number five take care
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of your physical body exercise shower get ready put on an outfit
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that makes you feel good do your hair get a haircut change the color of your hair do something
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that makes you feel confident with your physical body take care of yourself physically
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i can't tell you how many times maybe i'm not feeling the best
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and it's just like okay
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i just need to take a shower maybe style my hair
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a little up extra than I usually do actually get ready maybe do my makeup whatever it is work out
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and I feel
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so much better another important note here for number five is
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to get curious about yourself right like take care of your physical body exercise
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but also what other activities make you feel confident like have you sat down
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and asked yourself like what are the activities that
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when I do them I feel confident maybe that's another list
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that you can make after listening to this and then start to do more of those things more often.
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I find that a lot of times those activities are activities that help you get reconnected with yourself,
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that help you sort of drop back in to who you really are and build that connection.
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Number six is to keep your word to yourself.
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Do the things that you say you're going to do.
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If somebody that you knew was always telling you they were going to do something and they never did it, would you believe them.
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You'd be like, okay, yeah, for sure.
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If you repeatedly tell yourself that you're going to do something and you don't do it, and then you wonder why you don't believe in yourself,
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you have to keep your word to yourself.
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And this can happen with small things at first, like make small promises to yourself and then keep them.
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But don't make promises to yourself that you can't keep.
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Don't like pack your schedule with things and be like, I am going to do all of these things.
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And then you're only going to beat yourself up when you don't do them.
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Don't set yourself up for failure like that.
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Include buffer time and make promises to yourself that you can keep.
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Because keeping promises to yourself trains your brain to see yourself as trustworthy.
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And self -trust is extremely important for confidence and belief in yourself.
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Number seven, cut the people pleasing.
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If you struggle to say no and allowing people to take from you, one you're not teaching other people to respect you
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and then you're also not teaching yourself
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that you are someone worthy of respect kindness is not always giving everybody what they want
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and kindness also involves being kind to yourself
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and taking care of your own energy first i remember
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when i first heard
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that you got to be a bad person to manifest it took me off guard at first like huh
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You got to be a bad person to manifest.
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But I like that saying because if you haven't really gotten comfortable saying no and not people -pleasing,
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it is going to feel like you're being a bad person.
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It will feel like that.
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Over time, you'll begin to understand that you're not being a bad person.
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You're just taking care of yourself and honoring your own energy values and boundaries.
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But at first, you will feel like a bad person.
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That's how it feels.
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But the bottom line here is that it really will be difficult to say no
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if you don't know what your values and boundaries are.
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A lot of times your boundaries are learned through experience, so it's okay if at first,
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you know, somebody drains your energy or someone makes you mad or, you know, frustrates you a little bit, right?
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But if you are angry, frustrated, or drained, those are clear signs that a boundary needs to be put into place
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and so you learn through experience where you need to place boundaries
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and as long as you honor that don't hold yourself don't hold it against you
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that you know you didn't know because how could you have
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but when you see these clear signs don't ignore them
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and getting clear on your values is something
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that you absolutely can do today i have all of the people
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that i coach in the very beginning of working with them
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like who are you beneath the conditioning beneath the programming like you came to this planet
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and you were programmed your brain was designed to be programmed you were conditioned by your environment by the people
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that raised you and you have to then wake up to this fact
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that you are not your conditioning
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and you're not your programming you are something much deeper than
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that right and when you become aware of that
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and you kind of go on this journey of discovering like who am I really
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and what is actually the most important to me
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and you become very clear on your on who you are and what your values are like what are your core
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wants and needs in life, then it becomes a lot easier to say no to things when they don't align with your values.
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But if you don't know what your values are, it's going to be very difficult to set boundaries and to say no. Number eight,
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protect your mind from people who normalize limitation.
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Confidence is contagious, so is doubt.
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I say this coming from personal experience.
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I grew up around people and the people even that raised me,
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like, would doubt my goals and dreams and laugh in my face and be like, how are you going to do that?
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Now you can use that a hundred percent as fuel, which is what I did.
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But also you get to this point where you're on this journey of building belief in yourself and confidence.
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And it's just, again, it's a self -respect thing where you don't really allow or tolerate anyone that doesn't believe in you.
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And that doesn't have this sort of like confident or abundant mindset.
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And I totally get that that can be a very lonely journey at first
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because it was for me as well but when you shift your energy
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and you begin to live in this new state with this new mindset
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i promise you you will be attracted to more people
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that have the same mindset and when you get around people
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that have this mindset it just becomes
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so much easier to be confident to believe in yourself right
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and we could dive into the neuroscience of this we've got emotional contagion which is this psychological concept where emotions are contagious.
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Energy is contagious.
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And I'm sure you've heard that spiritually, but scientifically speaking, it is true.
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We've got mirror neurons, which were discovered in monkeys.
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They were recording one monkey's brain activity.
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And this monkey was watching his friends, his monkey friends eat food.
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And what they, they saw this monkey they were recording from his brain activity looked like he was eating food.
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And they were like, he's not eating food.
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Why does his brain activity look like that?
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Because he was watching his friends do it.
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Your brain activates in ways similar to the people that you are around.
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There's also brainwave synchronization, where your brainwaves actually sync up with the people that you communicate with.
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And the level of sync correlates to the level of connectedness that you feel with the people.
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So the whole saying that you become like the people you spend the most time with is 100 % true.
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Now, this includes people who gossip or talk badly about successful people.
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If you are around people,
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if you yourself or people that you surround yourself with gossip or talk badly about others or especially people who are successful,
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you are literally training your brain to view success and view that level as unsafe,
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as bad because you're talking bad about people that are successful.
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There are so many other reasons why talking badly about others
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and gossiping and focusing on negativity is not good for your brain.
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So many reasons.
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This is really the major one when it comes to confidence, right?
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Surround yourself with people who think big, take risks, and put themselves out there.
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What I have noticed about really successful people is
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that they don't have the time or the mental energy to focus on what other people are doing to tear them down.
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And so be like that.
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If you want to identity shift into a very successful, very confident person super confident people don't feel the need to tear others down
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or talk badly about others they just don't
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because they already feel secure in themselves number nine don't let
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temporary circumstances define your identity don't even let your present circumstances define your identity
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when i was in my phd and i was kind of realizing
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that in order to make my dreams come true i was going to need delusional level confidence
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and belief in myself like i just knew it because I would listen to interviews of all of these successful people.
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And there's a very common thread in the mindsets of most successful people and it's delusional level belief in themselves.
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And so I knew that I was going to need that.
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And so I worked on developing that.
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And I remember when I first kind of graduated, I moved across the country to Miami Beach to start my business
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and work on becoming a full -time creator and start a business and do what I'm doing now,
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I really didn't have logical reasons to be as confident as I was.
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When I moved across the country, I had 30 ,000 Instagram followers.
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In less than two years, I had a million Instagram followers and now I have two million.
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But I really like when I decided to full send that dream,
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I really didn't have like logical reasoning behind why I should believe that I was going to be able to do that.
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And I remember when I actually told someone
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that used to be in my circle that I had this dream of reaching this certain financial income.
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And this person literally laughed in my face and said, who told you you could do that?
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Now, I don't have a relationship with this person anymore.
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And of course, that motivated me to prove them wrong.
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And within a couple of months, I did it.
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I reached that financial goal.
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But my reason for these examples is really just to say
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that there wasn't really a reason that I thought
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that there wasn't a reason to believe i'd be able to do
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that there wasn't and
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so you can't let your temporary circumstances your present circumstances define the level of belief
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that you have about yourself and yeah that might seem delusional it might
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but in my opinion you kind of have to have
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that delusional level confidence like i i see it all the time like out
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there there's this there's this kind of common advice that i see
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that oh you're not going to feel confident until you go out
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and achieve things like i have a hot take where no i think
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that you got to feel confident before you go out
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and achieve things and if that's delusional fine but that confidence
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and that energy is going to make you so much better
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when you actually go and do the thing and yes going
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and doing the thing and putting it that
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that will help to build confidence as well we already covered
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that earlier but i'm giving you permission right now to believe in yourself
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and to be confident in yourself without having any real huge wins
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or big things that you've done like it's fine
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and this moves us into number 10
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which is going to wrap it all up and send us home
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and it's really honestly in my opinion the most important point
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that i'm going to make in this entire video which is
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that true confidence comes from knowing yourself true confidence comes from
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knowing yourself on a deep level on a soul level because
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if your confidence relies on achievements and external validation and wins
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and doing things all the time then it can be taken away from you in any moment
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but when your confidence comes from within
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because you know who you are that's extremely powerful i my life completely changed my level of confidence completely shifted
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when i developed trust in myself
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and trust in the divine now i didn't used to believe in a higher power
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or be spiritual at all or anything like
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that i did not used to be that way at all um
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and my confidence completely shifted when I understood that I was divinely guided and protected,
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that I'm connected to everything that exists and that I'm not alone, and that I am divine life force energy in a human body.
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When you begin to believe that your life has meaning and that you are here on this planet for a reason,
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then you will also begin to understand that doubting yourself is doubting the divine.
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And I'm going to say that one more time because it's important.
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Doubting yourself is doubting the divine.
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And if you're like, okay, I'm cool.
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Like how did you develop trust in yourself?
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Start listening to your own intuition, like practice it.
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Now I had an interesting way of working on trusting myself, which was actually when I was in my PhD,
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I would go hiking and I would purposefully go off trail and get kind of lost Google maps.
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I still had maps, so I wasn't actually getting lost.
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I wasn't in danger, but I would get lost on purpose.
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And then I would try to get back to my car without checking the maps
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and at first I would you know I'd get like halfway back
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and then I would check because I would start to question myself
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and every time I would do
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that I'd be like damn I was on the right track I shouldn't have questioned myself
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and over time I started to build
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that trust in myself listening to myself this is where I developed this whole kind of saying
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that I tell all the people that I coach which is
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that you don't need to know how to get to the top of the mountain from the bottom all
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you need to know is the next right step and
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that is applicable to so many different areas of life you practice trusting yourself by listening
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and acting on your own intuition and then over time you get better at
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that but all this is to say
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that true confidence comes from remembering rather than proving like real true confidence is not about proving to yourself
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that you're worthy it's about remembering that you already are remembering
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that you are divine life force energy in a human body and that you're divinely guided and protected.
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Like imagine if you could have that level of trust in something that you almost become fearless.
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And that's what happened to me.
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I kind of had this whole realization before I went into the PhD and people would ask me like, oh, aren't you scared?
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Because I was moving to a different state that I've never really been to before.
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People would ask me like, oh, aren't you scared?
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And I just wasn't because I just had this trust and this belief that I was divinely guided and protected.
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If you made it all the way through this video, shout out to you.
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I hope that you get the most extreme level of confidence
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and belief in yourself that you've ever had using these tools
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and if you want help if you want to work with me
369
if you want to go through the minecraft method
370
and experience the community and the program
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and the transformation you can find links for that and everything
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that you need to know about coaching with me
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and the minecraft program will be in the description but other than
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that i'm sending you so much love and until next time stay blessed
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “10 ways to build extreme confidence using neuroscience”. Questo video contiene 374 frasi e 4667 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 24:44. Chi parla va veloce, circa 189 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 86% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| belief sostantivo | /bɪˈliːf/ | credito, credenza |
| delusional aggettivo | /dɪˈluːʒənəl/ | delirante |
| mirror sostantivo | /ˈmiɹɚ/ | specchio |
| boundary sostantivo | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | confine, limite |
| mindset sostantivo | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentalità, modo di pensare |
| divine aggettivo | /dɪˈvaɪn/ | divino, divina |
| scenario sostantivo | /sɪˈnɛəɹioʊ/ | scenario, panorama |
| badly avverbio | /ˈbæd.li/ | male |
| repeatedly avverbio | /ɹɪˈpiːtɪdli/ | ripetutamente |
| monkey sostantivo | /ˈmʌŋki/ | scimmia |
| formula sostantivo | /ˈfɔː.mjʊ.lə/ | formula |
| define verbo | /dɪˈfaɪn/ | definire, determinare |
| differently avverbio | /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/ | differentemente, diversamente |
| logical aggettivo | /ˈlɑd͡ʒɪkəl/ | logico |
| resume verbo | /ˈɹɛz.ə.meɪ/ | riprendere, continuare |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| go out verbo | uscire, andare fuori | |
| turn down verbo | rifiutare | |
| put together verbo | assemblare, montare | |
| sit down verbo | sedersi, accomodarsi | |
| go off verbo | esplodere | |
| go through verbo | attraversare | |
| grow up verbo | crescere | |
| set up verbo | /ˌsɛt ˈʌp/ | preparare, installare |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- What would you say to them?
- Recognize that you've already done so much.
- You'd be like, okay, yeah, for sure.
- We've got mirror neurons, which were discovered in monkeys.
- People would ask me like, oh, aren't you scared?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verbo — un’abitudine o uno stato passato che non è più vero | used to be · used to believe |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | you've felt · have been diagnosed · they've shown |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is dysregulated · are dysregulated · are not set |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | someone who hears · someone who is · people who normalize |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 126 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, don't, I'm. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: worthy /ˈwɝ.ði/, beneath /bɪˈniːθ/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/, thread /ˈθɹɛd/, trustworthy /ˈtɹʌst.wɜː.ði/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: delusional /dɪˈluːʒənəl/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, accomplish /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, imagination /ɪˌmæd͡ʒəˈneɪʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: delusional /dɪˈluːʒənəl/, repeatedly /ɹɪˈpiːtɪdli/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, temporary /ˈtɛmp(əˌɹ)ɛɹi/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/, hype /haɪp/, hike /haɪk/, haircut /ˈhɛə(ɹ)kʌt/, rehearse /ɹɪˈhɝs/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: belief /bɪˈliːf/, mindset /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/, pause /pɔːz/, gossip /ˈɡɑsɪp/, contagious /kənˈteɪ.d͡ʒəs/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: badly /ˈbæd.li/, relax /ɹɪˈlæks/, minecraft /ˈmaɪnˌkɹæft/, manifest /ˈmæn.ɪ.fɛst/, imagination /ɪˌmæd͡ʒəˈneɪʃən/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come belief, delusional, mirror.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.